More on obesity

Sorry to those who could not get to the website today.  It was a bit of a pain being retweeted several times and then finding that the database was down and I had to wait for the hosting provider.
Continuing on my obesity series, since it is a topic I know rather a lot about, today I want to talk about the yo-yo mindset, for curious thin people and confused fat people alike. Here are some quotes and questions that I have been asked in the past, by personal trainer friends and people who have never had a weight problem, who cannot understand the mind of a person who apparently ‘does not care.’

“Why are you so fat?  I would fancy you if you were not so fat.”
“Why is someone as pretty as you so fat?”
“How can people let themselves get like that?”
“How come you are faster/stronger/so active when you are so fat?”
“Aren’t you embarrassed to let anyone see you like that?”
“Why don’t you just eat less, then you can eat what you like?”
“Don’t you care about clothes?”
“Nobody will want you looking like that.”
“Eww look at how fat she is! She’s a gannet!”

These are genuine statements made to me at different points in my life.  Let us take these one at a time before we go further.
“Why are you so fat?  I would fancy you if you were not so fat.”
This was said by a very cute millionaire friend of mine, who I lost all respect for the minute he said this, and ended up dating his much richer friend before telling him to get stuffed.  He was concerned that his posh boy friends would think less of him.  You will be gratified to learn that he ended up with an enormous single parent of two kids.
My response to this one was.  “Strangely enough, dating you was not at the forefront of my mind for the last 23 years, and it is not what concerns me when we converse. I work with food for twenty hours a day, and frankly my weight is an advantage given my line of work.”
“Why is someone as pretty as you so fat?”
I was not particularly fat at the time, and this lady was very concerned about her weight.  She was very dull as a result. I remarked that I had other things to do than worry about social conformity.
“How can people let themselves get like that?”
This is a good one, and was said by a well known raw foodist personal trainer, who has never had a weight problem.  I explained to him at the time, that one’s self perception is relative, and outlined a scene from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where I refused to go out until the last day of my holiday, and discovered that I was, in fact, the thinnest person on the beach, whereupon I enjoyed an impromptu run.  This should speak for itself as a reason.
“How come you are faster/stronger/so active when you are so fat?”
This has come up several times, and has come from everyone from my PE teacher at school, to hospital consultants who cannot believe test results.
Fat does not actually prevent you from leading a busy or active life, in fact you will find many fat people are far busier than you are. Stress is a killer, in more ways than one.
“Aren’t you embarrassed to let anyone see you like that?”
This one really burns into your brain, doesn’t it?  Every time you think about going out, this pops up as a reason not to.  The person who says this to you really hates you.  Get away from them right now.
“Why don’t you just eat less, then you can eat what you like?”
This comes from someone with a fundamental misunderstanding of what causes obesity.  Just smile and move on.
“Don’t you care about clothes?”
Yes, yes, we do care about clothes.  The first thing any fat person does on losing weight is buy inappropriate clothing they were never able to wear when they were big.  We love clothes.  On other people, so we can actually see them whilst we enjoy a good curry.
“Nobody will want you looking like that.”
I think you would be very surprised at the massive number of men, in particular, who really dig big chicks, so this one is absolutely laughable. They are usually much nicer than trophy hunters, too, so this one is a double edged sword.
“Eww look at how fat she is! She’s a gannet!”
This is the sort of thing stupid people say, in the same way as they point at unsuspecting cats and saw awwwwwwwww. Again, step away from the moron.
Having said all this, here is some insight into the mental process, starting with a fat person at their thinnest:

“I am actually starting to feel jealous of fat people.  They look happier than I am, and they eat whatever they like.”
“I am fed up with random people who hit on me, even though they have no idea who I am. They talk so much rubbish”
“Life is no better when thin, and in many ways it is worse because I am now also under pressure to look good.”
“I am not very happy, and I would like to be invisible.”
“I have nothing in common with these new friends, they seem a bit superficial and self-obsessed.”
“I feel a bit depressed and do not want to go out anymore.”
“Who cares? I am invisible anyway.”
“What’s the point?”

Ok, so this covers more of an emotional eating problem, rather than someone who has simply put on weight over time without thinking about it, but I think it is helpful for overall perspective on why someone would allow the problem to get ‘out of control.’ People have differing priorities, and either size has its advantages.
There have been times when I have been conscious of putting on weight almost deliberately, particularly in long term family situations, because I no longer wish to speak.  The healthy thing to do would be get as far away as possible and not avoid the rest of the world, but for various reasons this has not always been possible.
I have also noticed in the last decade or so, that I start buying the biggest size in the shop long before I start overeating.  This last time was a case in point.  One of the first things I did, when broken-hearted and trying to talk myself out of my irrational affection for Wolfe, was absent-mindedly buy the largest pair of trousers I could find, and I was about eight sizes smaller at the time.  It is quite freaky when you catch yourself doing it.  ‘My emotional state/libido must be suppressed, therefore I must eat more.  I am obviously running wild, therefore I must stay in.’  What a puritanical glutton I am!  Perhaps I should find an evil streak and find a more assertive outlet for angst.
So, to conclude, I hope that this is more useful to you than the average blame game scenario you are usually presented with on this particular topic.  You are still better off without a weight problem if you can go about conquering your particular demons, but it is not the end of the world, and you are not a monster if you happen to have one.  If you choose carefully, you can indulge your love of food and your love of vanity/good health.  Vanity is a very positive sin, in fact, which you must indulge to keep yourself reasonably healthy.  Apart from that, do not allow yourself to slip into the cushion of your not at all alarming appearance as a result of your weight problem, because the fear of living your life is the real killer.

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Obese malnutrition and time deprivation

Those who read the blog reasonably often will know that obese malnutrition is a thing – if you are new to the blog use the tag cloud or meander through the newsfeed for more on this.
When I was young, the term ‘overnutrition‘ used to be used to describe fat people, and even knowing this, it was not until I paid some attention to Wolfe that I realised that this was entirely true.  People who get fat, despite eating too much are often missing critical nutrients because their gut bacteria causes them to crave the last thing that is going to give them what they actually need. Hence – obese malnutrition is the real probable cause of the obesity epidemic.
This morning, I was reading my investment posts and came across the concept of timedeprivation.  This amusing term refers to people who are so deluded by their capitalist education, that they spend too much time making money and not enough time maintaining their sanity.  Obviously a capitalist solution has to be found to this pressing problem, in the form of more time saving gadgets and things you need to spend time working to afford.
Having been forced into a life of not achieving on my own behalf, instead pouring my magic into other people, this made me laugh.  I was never into achievement for the purposes of buying status symbols, but you can bet every penny I could scrape has been invested in yet more projects.  At the moment, my projects demand high spec computers, so I have invested a couple of months in learning the ins and outs of building them, rather than frantically finding ways to fit work into a 24 hour caring schedule to pay for them.  This makes perfect sense to me.  It is clearly better to learn how to build a £5,000 computer for £400 than it is to go out and buy one.
I am unusual however, and I realise that most people do not think like this, or even know how to go about thinking like this, or are prevented by their love of social conformity.  Spending your life covered in bits of wire, plastic, varnish, paint and whatever else I am usually covered in is not for everyone.  It just does not attract the right kind of boy, for one thing, and it makes you forget what you look like, because it just isn’t that important anymore. (if you picture a squashed female Wolfe with no beard, covered in a variety of coloured garbage and usually wearing something with a strategic rip, you have a good idea of what I look like.  No wonder he is entranced!  Like a punk hobbit.)
This does, however, mean that you get a lot of personal time and space to explore your inner landscape, which is a good thing.  I have a variety of probably unmarketable skills, which make me extremely useful if you have a stately home, with computer room, garden, animals and requirement for handcrafts and throwing a lot of parties, for example, but not particularly desirable if you want a faceless smiling suit, which appears to be more popular.  One day I may find my (presumably blind) ‘Goldfinger,’  but time is getting on.
There are few people that really need to buy everything they want.  Knowledge acquisition is far better for your health, in terms of your long term brain, your open-minded outlook, and your general flexibility.  There is nothing more depressing than a person in a long term rut that assumes that they have ‘made it.’  It does not take much to scratch the surface of insecurity, and they seem to turn out to be rather insecure and unhappy people who do not know very much.
So, my thought for today is – don’t delegate it, do it.  Try learning something new, for the sake of your aging attitude.  Avoid the stiffness of complacency, and enjoy the adventure of doing something you did not think you could do.

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Three weeks on ten a day

Three weeks on ten a day

This is an update for the following series of posts.  Sorry but the blog format insists on the giant boxes.


Two days of ten a day


Two weeks on ten a day




We are entering the third week now, and my appetite is now back under control to the point that I do not have to worry so much about making it to ten a day.  Ten a day is a struggle at first, especially for people who try to go raw quickly.  Composting was something that bothered me for the first few weeks the first time I did it, but as I am wise to it now, I make sure some of the quota is lightly steamed (and I do mean lightly.  Sometimes I just mix the ingredients and heat at the last minute)


Composting is a slightly unpleasant vegetable burp you get if you transition quickly from normal food to raw food.  It is a minor inconvenience when you are aware of what you have to look forward to if you persist in telling your body to do what it is supposed to do – digest uncooked vegetable fibre.


The shingles treatment that I mentioned in the Antifungal, Antiviral post is working very well.  So outstandingly well in fact, that my hand pain has gone, my brain is clearer, even my limbs feel less fuzzy.  I still have the itch on my back, but it looks as if I got my diagnosis of ‘invisible shingles’ correct.  I also took a tablet for thrush, and although it has not completely cleared any trace of candidiasis, it is not at all as bad as it was.


My skin is recovering, and the odd pimple is appearing to excrete the traces of normal food.  The rash down the side of my face is almost gone. My hair is not quite recovering yet, but I am aware that this can take a few months, so I am not concerned.


I have so far dropped a size.  Yes, stuffing your face with vegetables is definitely a good plan, no matter who you are.  Better poop, better skin, better health.  Walking is less painful, breathing is easier, and I look younger. Bought myself some luxury dates and did not either want them, or the sugar free chocolate I like to make and keep so that I do not want any. (nowt queerer than folk)


Slightly more interested in sex than I have been for the last five years or so.  Not in actually doing it, but certainly noticing men more than I did, which can only be an indication of better health.


Starting on supermix now, so I will look a bit green for a week until my blood gets the message that good things are in regular supply again.


Remaining problems include getting rid of the breathing issue completely, tightness at the top of my legs, and the need to improve on sleep.


Hopefully this will encourage my sceptical readers to give it a go.



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Antiviral, antifungal, Antibacterial

Antiviral, antifungal, Antibacterial

When I first bothered to attempt to resolve my health problems back in 2009, I coupled my raw food tendencies with four bulbs of garlic per day. Garlic is antibacterial, antiviral and antifungal. I normally use it as a sleeping pill, as garlic or oats are a safe bet if I want to be dead to the world for an extended period.  Usually, as I am looking after my mother, sleeping is not a particularly good idea if I want to achieve anything, so I tend to forget for months and even years. Now it is in my salad dressing, so I take it in conjunction with the rest of the holy trinity (chilli, ginger) and a host of other additions (wasabi, cider vinegar etc)

1000 year old recipe kills MRSA – here is an indication of how effective natural medicine can be.  We have actually made this, and reportedly it is very good for wounds and skin complaints, as well as being the ultimate in biofilm permeating surface cleaner.
Antiviral and antibacterial herbs
Antiviral, antifungal and antibacterial herbs

As you can probably guess, my problems do not stem from lack of knowledge, either of how to find information, or how to use it.  You have to care how you are to resolve your problems, so I was very interested in the depictions of extreme candida, and this article from the world of psychiatric care.

The role of antiviral therapy in Chronic Fatigue Treatment

So basically, the fungal and viral problems get worse because I am tired, therefore I get a bit depressed, therefore I no longer care about myself, therefore the whole thing gets much worse. If anything actually happens in the meantime, then my health takes a back seat. There are thousands, possibly millions of people who would benefit from a basic knowledge of how to use simple ingredients to avoid the slow, or sometimes fast decline in their immune system without having to resort to the doctor.


How to eliminate shingles quickly and naturally using alternative holistic methods


My dentist had had shingles in his mouth after a spell in hospital, which is the only reason my outbreaks ever got diagnosed, as my doctor did not know or care what this looked like.  Now I am aware what causes the tingling and exhaustion, it makes me more aware of the rashes.  A friend of mine was dismissed as having ‘minor’ athletes foot for several decades when he actually had an abnormally high instep and patches of astonishingly hard skin as a result, and I have appeared at several doctor’s surgeries with rashes all over my face, which remained unmentioned in the course of consultation because I was going for tiredness, which was laughed at as I have always worked at least 70 hours per week.


Rashes and athlete’s foot, in addition to the unpleasant experience of thrush or other complaints such as tingling, inflammation or numbness are not minor.  They are indications of systemic exhaustion, which can reach dangerous levels and cause far more serious complaints.  If you have any of these, you should look for solutions by other means in the absence of your doctor either wanting, or being able to treat them.


Your diet generally, therefore, is a lot more important than you would think.  Whilst many people may be entirely happy eating anything they want, a very large proportion of the population would benefit from making some improvements, particularly if they have ongoing ailments.


I am currently dealing with an ‘invisible’ case of shingles, and ongoing candidiasis, which attacks even if I eat badly only once, never mind for months. This indicates that I am battering my immune system. My circumstances, of looking after a large property and disabled mother mean that there are some things I cannot change, but you can bet that I am employing the means at my disposal to resolve the other problems.


Likewise, my mother’s dementia has been held back for 9 years now because I keep on top of minor ailments and provide her with a lot of stimulation in the form of trips out, tasks etc.  It is amazing what you can do about major problems by addressing the trivial things rather than ignoring them.  She gets far better care from me than I do, I am sorry to say.


For my overweight and/or aging readers, your tiredness is not all because of your weight, and your weight is not all because of your eating habits.  Think of your digestion as a drain, which becomes blocked by food which will not move.  Stop trying to explain this to your bemused doctor, and look for ways of resolving it. Yes, you.



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Another Conservative own goal

It does not look as if the Conservatives giggling away at this


Trickle-down lies


have really understood anything. I am well aware that some key Conservatives read it, and am duly gratified.


It astonishes me that our current Chancellor and Prime Minister seem to have learned nothing from the history of their own party.  They do not understand British politics, they do not understand what popular Conservative policy is, and they do not understand that their decision making is going to lose them the next election.  To an old school Labourite no less!  The depths of stupidity are astounding!


We in Scotland are of course, somewhat left of even popular conservative policy, but we still have conservative tendencies.  The difference is that our idea of nationalism is somewhat more hospitable and opportunity-based.  It does not take a gigantic leap of imagination to come up with the idea of evacuation in place of immigration in the case of thousands of refugee children, meaning that the idea of said children bringing extended families would not be relevant. Rural schools and kindly people alike would welcome the opportunity


Instead the nasty party has struck again.  From Maggie’s actually quite clever idea of ‘feeding the base of the pyramid’ with opportunity, to buy property and shares and actually become rather conservative at any level of income, we have apparently witnessed a Conservative government who do not appear to care whether they are popular or not.


They appear to believe that everyone has inherited wealth that we do not want to pay any tax on, have a ‘divine right’ to shaft anyone poorer than us, that nobody will notice if they actually kill a few thousand people in the form of withholding support when they need it, and that there are sufficient voters to ensure that they get to continue in their reign of terror long enough to get whatever backhand benefits from TTIP and TISA privatisation that they have invested in.


Perhaps the answer is that as long as Cameron and Osborne last this term, they will have secured their investments.  Perhaps the answer is that they are knuckle-draggingly stupid and think that people will actually support continuous cruelty towards large swathes of the population, British or otherwise.  Perhaps the answer is that the system is now so corrupt that we need not bother voting at all, because the numbers will still come in as Conservative whether they are or not.


Whatever the answer to this question is, this government is not competent, and they are not really British.  They represent a very small proportion of the population, who are complacent, arrogant, privileged to the point of being very spoilt, and who apparently sit in their English villages hating everybody else.  I remember an argument with Rachel Johnson some years ago.  Within two emails it became apparent that she has no idea how the other 90 percent live, and is unlikely to ever find out.  How did we end up with a government consisting of people just like her?


Gone are the notions of British conservatism, pride in the nation, pride in achievement and the sense that the British class machine actually worked very well.  In place of this we have a new, rather lazy, rather amoral failed and incorrect idea of a neo-Victoriana, which has no place for the poor, so we might as well just clean up the housing estates and kill them all by starvation, poor healthcare, or the death of opportunity for anyone that is not Conservative.  Gone is the colonialism and pride which gave us an empire. In its place, scrounging rich people who want to cream off the contracts and not bother to pay any tax, and who apparently imagine that they are supported in doing so by thousands of people just like them.


What happened to the importance of popularity in politics?  What happened to the idea that you voted for competent, decent people who cared about something other than their own wallets?  What happened to genuine achievement? Getting handouts from your rich mummies and daddies is not the same as actually doing something for your money. Money does not a true gentleman make.


Emulating Trump in the course of promoting an exit from the EU is not the Boris we are used to either.


If Philip Green’s murder of BHS to fill his pockets with yet more cash is an example of Conservative achievement, we don’t want it.  It is time to replace the figureheads, or get the Tories out before they do any more damage to suit themselves. Altogether we are seeing an attempt to shift from a cooperative society, to a very selfish idea that if you cannot make it, by fair means or foul, then you might as well just die because you lack money.


If the Conservative government does not change course right now, we will see riots in the streets, and with all your taxes in tax havens, you won’t be able to afford the increased levels of policing you will require to protect yourselves.  Suppressing the media will not make your mistakes go away.

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Vitamin Overdose and detox

Can you overdose on vitamins?


The overdose risk of vitamins


Safety with herbs


Today I am going to talk about supplements.  My father was spending a large amount monthly on herbal supplements in the 70s, so I have been around the colourful bottles a lot.  Both conventional doctors that we had until I was about 17 had conventional and homeopathic training, so we had quite a bit of advantageous knowledge to draw from.


There is, allegedly, no benefit to be derived from taking supplements.  Studies have indicated that people suffer from the same rates of illnesses towards the end of life whether they take supplements or not, so I look on supplements as a quality of life solution.  Basically, conventional medicine is for short term, and surgical purposes, and herbal medicine is for the sort of medium to long term ailment that doctors now like to ignore.  I am not just talking from a personal perspective, several friends have also noted the change in attitude to general health from doctors. My wealthier friend says that he was told by our mutual GP that he was considered worthwhile because he paid more tax.


This is not necessarily a bad thing.  You should regard your doctor as someone who provides medical solutions, and forget the idea that your doctor cares about your health.  Your health is your responsibility, so you should take it seriously.  I once had a chat with a young man who wanted his doctor to intervene with a small overhang of fat at his waistband.  I advised him to get a life.


Nevertheless, having seen the difference in treatment between me, my mother, random young men with self-inflicted injuries, (he won the medicine lottery) it is becoming apparent that with a lot of problems, you are on your own.  All these adverts and bits of advice saying to see your doctor about this or that are met with a blank stare if you actually try to talk to your GP about them.  I have reported symptoms of an impending or actual heart attack for a couple of decades of overwork and self neglect, and in that time only one doctor out of about 7 or 8 even bothered to have me checked out.  They will probably wait to post mortem me, and then say oooooooh look she had six heart attacks!


So, currently, as I am visibly slow when walking, have serious breathlessness and fatigue, headaches and a chest problem, I am trying to resolve it myself.  I have changed my diet to rid myself of toxin sitting around in my bowel, I am taking around fifteen times the recommended dose of Vitamin C, which I know is fine because I do not have the runs.  I look better, the chest problem has marginally improved, and my clothes are already starting to get big.  So far, so good.  I have procured some heart and lung support in the form of Forskohli, and I will be proceeding with some thyroid support in the form of seaweed.  All of this takes knowledge. It is wise to check on dosages, and it is also wise to make sure you know what is really wrong with you.


If it were not for the raw foodies, I would still be taking massive iron supplements on the advice of my doctor, and as you will see if you check, iron overdoses are particularly bad for you.  As it turned out after some raw foodism, I was just not absorbing the iron, and it was only when taking less traditionally iron rich foods, that the anaemia problem was cleared up.


My theory is that pharmaceutical knowledge imparted to medical doctors is not coupled with any genuine understanding of basic nutrition, or the effects of combining too much of one thing with another.  Hence my initial statement that conventional medicine is for short term, or surgical remedy, whilst you should really investigate everything else before you resort to chemical solutions.  My faith in the authority of the doctor started to erode once I discovered that they were not all as committed and well informed as my first conventional/homeopathic doctors.


An awful lot of conventional medical practioners are in it for the money, and at the end of the day, they are just people.  In the same way that you get a second opinion if someone tries to charge you too much for fixing your roof or car, you should try to get your own second opinion of what your doctor is saying where possible.


This new idea that has crept in, that even Twisty has been guilty of in the past, that medicine trumps wellbeing and alternative solutions, is completely at odds with the truth.  Many alternative solutions have been tried and tested over hundreds, and in some cases thousands of years.


The fact that no pharmaceutical company has paid to research it, because they don’t see it making them any money, is entirely meaningless.  If it makes you feel good, you try it, unless you are stupid enough to think that every problem fits into a tick box, prepared by someone with little to no knowledge of you, your lifestyle, your unreported symptoms.


It is also the case with the issue of detox – many doctors claim that this does not exist, and your liver and kidney does this more effectively than eating properly.  Your organs can quite easily be compromised by your poor habits, in which case they certainly do not. Your doctor is likely to be kept in this state of ignorance because without your poor diet and habits, you require less in the way of chemical medicine.  Commerce trumps well being.


Medicine has its place, but having argued with many a consultant that I actually worked with about its relationship with health, I am now in agreement with them that it is entirely separate. (they were also unaware that it was separate until I challenged them, incidentally!) Conventional medicine is a solution, it is not the solution.  Health is a separate thing, and it is nothing to do with your doctor, and everything to do with you.

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What can you do today?

One of the many principles that Wolfe likes to recycle from time to time is the ‘Do it now’ principle.  I cannot remember who originally said it, and I do not particularly care, but the ‘Do it now’ principle is helpful when you are talking yourself out of doing whatever you really want to do.


On the days when I like to forget about the unpleasant reality that is my life and future, I pretend that I have a ceteris paribus situation – all things being equal, there is no reason why I cannot just make a decision and roll with it.  (presumably excluding Wolfe, unless you can muster sufficient motivation to catch him.)


So, rather than your sitting indulging in Candy Crush Saga or things of that ilk, watching too much TV, or otherwise messing about – the question is – what can you do today?  What can you do to get yourself further towards your goals?  What are your goals?  If you do not know this, perhaps it is time for some stocktaking and review of what you really want.


I recall a conversation a while back where a number of people over thirty sat and complained about their partners with a resigned sigh.  I was in my twenties at the time, and said, to be honest, if these people are that imperfect, why not just leave?  You complain about my exs, but at least I left them?  Several times, in many cases.


Eventually I spotted some daft guy or other and decided that nobody else would do, so I got rid of them, since I was now effectively wasting their time. This does not mean that I have to have said guy, it just means that in the absence of alternatives, I did not mind their company, but when ‘my person’ came along, the relationships became pointless.


Several arguments ensued, whether he was good enough, whether I was good enough etc etc.  At the end of the day, does it matter?  You feel the way you feel.  Until this point in my life, relationships have been relatively controllable, and this one merits my attention to a sufficient degree to occupy all my time.  So what? It has no implications for the object of my affection at all.  All that matters is the course of action required to hit my own personal mark, since evidently I found one on a bench, so to speak.


Apparently people over thirty are supposed to become scared of change, scared of growing old alone, and fearful of possible financial implications, so instead they choose to waste their time on conversations like this.  A generalised feeling of powerlessness and selfishness washes over them, and they resign themselves to a life of tolerable misery.  This is ridiculous.  There are plenty of single people at any age, and if you feel you have settled for something, there is no reason why you cannot move on.


Likewise, it is often when you most want something, you become frightened that you might actually get it, or scared of making a fool of yourself trying to get it.  That’s life.  Who dares wins.  You definitely won’t get anywhere if you don’t try.


So, although I hate Wolfe’s recycling journal and pretty much everything else Jim Rohn had to say, I suggest you take this one on board.  Do it now.  What can you do today to get yourself further towards a goal? Any goal.  Set one and go for it. Be selfish, even if it is only for fifteen minutes a day.




And just in case David actually stops by and reads this.  It’s your nose.  Your feet are OK, but mainly your nose.  Everything else is appalling.

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Young, free and obese

Or even, not so young, free and obese.  Either is fine.


As you may or may not know from the health section of this blog, I have gained and lost over a thousand pounds of weight in the  course of my life. I do not eat entire cakes or packets of biscuits.  I do not have regular take-aways, and I have never liked chips.  The only thing I am inclined to eat far too much of is butter, and that is in conjunction with the consumption of bread or oatcakes.  The minute I rule out those two things, the problem is gone. My thinner sister of the same height regularly consumes more than I do, although as she is not being bullied by a pair of vindictive old women, she gets to leave the house now and again.


That being said, I have an emotional eating issue.  Sometimes whatever has happened seems very insignificant and I do not even want to discuss it, but the end result is the same.  I stand in the kitchen, out of sight and try to figure out a way of not thinking about it any more.  The easiest way to stop yourself talking, is to fill your mouth with food.  By far the easiest.


After years of being very successful on a wide variety of diets, I am going to save you a whole lot of research in the following few paragraphs.


Other people do not matter


Listening to other people’s opinions, or even seeking them out, is not going to get you anywhere.  Stop doing that.  If they are critical of whatever you are doing, just avoid them altogether.  This includes your family and closest friends.  Sometimes especially them. If they suggest that you are an embarrassment, or that you look terrible in your favourite t shirt, even if you do, leave them behind. Attitude is a lot sexier than a tiny waist, no matter what you are or are not wearing or doing. Concentrate on that.


Low Carbing


Low carbing is a good idea for the following reasons – if you maintain a low carb diet, you cut out simple carbohydrates such as wheat flour, sugar, potato, rice.  These are cheap filler items, which nutritionists are taught help you avoid bowel cancer, and are kept within generalised nutritional advice because the advisors on the Board of Nutrition are on the payroll of large food processing companies such as Mars, Kraft, and Coca Cola.  You are advised to eat them because these people know very well that they mess up your gut bacteria and keep you eating more of them.  Nobody is genuinely addicted to cheap chocolate, pizza, bread, fries or fizzy drinks.  If you try clearing the remains of what you have already eaten from your gut, you will soon find that you do not miss them at all.


You can achieve better avoidance of bowel cancer if you replace these things with more vegetables, and your bowel actually does a bit of vitamin extraction.  If you get rid of these things, you may also catch it early enough to avoid a lot of future fungal infections, cases of thrush etc.  My psoriasis, for example, only vanishes if I exclude everything apart from vegetables, grasses and seaweed.  Obviously this would be a struggle all the time, but it is now a managed situation, rather than something out of my control.


You do not need to eat meat


Having been a raw foodist, and settled on a non vegan version eventually, I have nothing against you eating meat, however, as someone from a country with generations of committed meat eaters, even I only really feel the need to eat fish or meat once every three weeks or so.  You certainly don’t need it every day, and you don’t even need it every week.  Too much of it sits in your system and rots, so be sparing and do not do it every day. This is another fallacy spread by the meat industry. If you do feel you must every day, make sure you balance it with twice as many vegetables as meat or fish.  Minimum.


The world is set up a certain way, you don’t need to be part of it


Sometimes the social difficulties of eating for your health are all too much, and you feel like giving up on yourself.  Don’t.  Just because everybody else can manage to eat off a normal menu and stuff a packet of crisps or whatever, down their throat without mishap, it doesn’t mean that you can.  Seriously.  I once put on almost two hundred pounds after trying for weeks to refuse to join one of my boyfriends in his love of pizza. It is that easy to mess up your gut bacteria, and end up craving all the things that made you ill before.  A person telling you to eat like them, and that all you have to do is eat less, does not understand your problem.


Step away from the computer


This is rich, coming from a confirmed geek like me, but I know how much easier it is to live your life through your keyboard.  If you are not careful, you will wake up after twenty years and wonder what happened.  You still feel the same, but the mirror tells you that you have just poured the best part of your life into a machine.  Take a month off it completely every year, leave your gadgets at home now and again, and see how much nicer your life is when you let yourself off the hook.




Cheese can do you a lot of damage, although it is extremely tasty.  You can replace it with nutritional yeast, which tastes similar but does not feed the bad gut bacteria.  Eventually you will not miss it.  It causes eye bags and slows your digestion.  The name of the game, if you have a weight problem, is getting the food to move faster.  Twisty is able to eat whatever he wants and pretty much just think about losing weight to lose it, because his system works like a sports car.  If you have a weight problem, it is likely that yours works more like a tractor.  Do not eat slow moving food.




Calories are not all the same.  Ketogenic diets (see low carbing)  allow you to eat more than conventional diets and still lose weight, so if you are active, this is the first thing you should look at.  The hazard is that one mistake costs you whatever weight of glycogen your liver is storing, which in my case also causes all sorts of fluid problems. If anyone is telling you to portion control, and that you are just weak willed, please try to remember that a lot of your ‘hunger’ is actually caused by imbalance in processing, and if you can get this right, in the form of ridding yourself of addictive and unhealthy food, you will feel and look a lot better extremely quickly without beating yourself up, or allowing anyone else to.




If you are a social creature, get yourself a dehydrator and make yourself some dried vegetable chips/crisps instead of conventional nibbles such as nuts, potato chips etc.  Much better for you, much tastier and very social.  Investigate raw vegan dips to go with them.  Pretty soon your thinner friends, who seem to have all the answers, will be asking you for advice. You can get a really good one for under £30 from outdoor activity centres, for hikers.


Do not allow anyone to damage your confidence, and do not stay in thinking that things will be better when you are thin.  Nothing changes when you are thin, except that you feel a bit better.  I have had the same handful of men hitting on me, fat or thin, for twenty five years.  Whatever they see in you, it isn’t your hot, hot ass, no matter what they tell you.



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Virtual Reality is coming

So, two computers are now complete.  I have taken a piece of garbage, which I kind of bought by accident along with a monitor and souped it back up to respectability for storage, and I have added some rocket fuel to my now somewhat elderly retired server. I am now awaiting two pieces of equipment to build a VR ready machine for around £300. If anyone is interested, I will post some instructions on how to get VR ready and mildly futureproofed for under £1000.


Why do I need a VR ready machine when I have little time to play games?  Because I plan to make some.


For those who question the usefulness of VR – here are the basics from wikipedia- What is VR


I think it is going to revolutionize education, personally, but I do not plan to leave it in the hands of dull witted educators to make a mess of it.  Learning is an adventure, not an excuse for a bunch of browbeaten and unimaginative people to access grants and hold interminable meetings.


How can I be so confident that I am capable of making VR games?  I spent a lot of time in Second life, and they are making a nice medium for me to work in.  You can read more about it here  Linden labs – Project Sansar


For this reason, I am aware that a lot of the products being launched this year are not quite as future friendly as they might appear on first glance. Looking but not touching, or using traditional gamer’s tools such as playstation controllers, for example, are things that will mean that you have to replace your expensive equipment within a couple of years


Playstation VR – looks very trendy but no thanks


Google Cardboard – a cheap way of seeing whether you like the idea of being blind and looking around a cartoon without much functionality.  The good thing about this is that it makes VR extremely cheap for smartphone users.


HTC Vive by far the best mainstream option as it at least enables you to wave your hands around a bit but no. I forsee a lot of peripheral footpads etc.


Oculus Rift I would like to be supportive but no.


Without some definition in terms of your real life body, VR is all floating hands and the novelty of watching things move about.  Limited in terms of long term value, but oooooooooh the potential.


Tesla Suit: Feel Virtual Reality With Your Body


Touch in VR goes in a predictable direction: VR sex suit sells out in hours


I can tell you that although these might be fun investments, and certainly the idea of a full body suit is far better than things that restrict you to visual or floating hand versions of VR, once Project Sansar is launched, it will be a matter of weeks before somebody posts instructions on how to make a far more comprehensive VR sex suit with a bit of old hessian webbing and a few improvised sensors they picked up on ebay.


Second Lifers are obsessive, they cannot be bothered with the real world, as the one you have more control of is a lot more interesting and colourful.  Rather than you spending all your money on commercial products, I would hazard a guess that if you choose instead to ensure that your computer is ready, you have a couple of monitors and you await developments from Sansar, it will take probably under a year before DIY VR becomes normality.  They are also rather keen on virtual sex, so if that is your thang, keep an eye on Sansar.


I have always been known as a rather uptight and foul tempered Second Lifer, so I am likely to create something more cultural, obscure and a bit surreal.  I do like things with an educational edge, although I am much more interested in alternative reality methods of presentation.  Roll on Sansar, and hurry up with the VR already.

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Two weeks on ten a day

An update for those who read this


Two days of ten a day


and who may or may not be interested in upping their fruit and vegetable intake to ten a day.


I have missed a couple of days due to either not eating at all, or being too busy to think about it,  but after two weeks – my skin is not back to its glorious normal, because not all the vegetables were raw, and there are not enough green vegetables in my diet as yet. I have not returned to my daily quotient of blueberries yet, preferring pineapple at the moment, so presumably I am eradicating excessive protein.


I no longer suffer from what I can only describe as hamstring pain in my legs going up and down stairs.  As I spend a great proportion of my day on stairs, fat or thin, this is quite important. Still have terrible pain in my left hand, but there is a muscle missing due to a car accident in 1994, so I am wondering whether this is biting me in the ass a tad.


Period has improved, although the Brain Fog, chest tightening, tiredness has not been eradicated.  After next month it should start to dissipate, but the anaemia has certainly gone.


Drinking more water, but I am thinking that I should return to a simple supermix in the mornings to ensure that I do this.  It is amazing how resistant I am, despite going to the trouble of ensuring that the vegetable intake is heading back to where it should be.


Successfully eradicated the consumption of rice, sugar, wheat, potato, coffee.  Still a little dairy over the last fortnight, but as I know this gives me eyebags, slows down my digestion and means I do not clear the generalized feeling of debility, I will be removing this completely after a visit to Wholefoods and the purchase of some nutritional yeast.  I have managed to go to the Chinese supermarket and procure some decent seaweed and spices, although Vitamin C is still my biggest issue at the moment.  I need an awful lot of it, and one pineapple a day does not cover it.


I also managed to purchase a quantity of amla, which is rather bitter, but when I add it to the supermix, is pretty much indetectable. Also invested in some SOD, and thinking about getting some Boswellia (aka frankincense) and Forskohli to add to the supermix, when I get around to starting on it.


Clothes now fit, and I have been able to landscape one of the supersized rosebeds and the giant rockery, alongside clearing about two tons of garden rubbish.  Still getting too tired and too breathless.  Cross fingers this will go after I cut out the dairy.


I do need to go for a walk after I put mother to bed every night, but with the rebuilding of the computer room and the epic saga of turning four bannisters into Victorian masterpieces I have been kind of busy.


Hair is still a bit on the thin side, but it is too long at the moment and I do not wish to shorten it when still this big. Otherwise feeling slightly better, apart from continued worry about my breathing and headaches.  It could be down to stress, but I suspect that after another two weeks it will turn out to be cooked food that caused it.


Hope that helps.

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