How did I survive Bawbag?

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while but was unsure what I wanted to say exactly, since the nature of my work is ambiguous I update the same post every now and again to establish what I am all about.

How did I end up ridiculously close friends with a person described as a ‘very bad man’ by the Glasgow police despite not talking to him for three out of the three and a half years I knew him and who was a very right wing Muslim from a different continent that hated women?

OK so for the benefit of his recent ex girlfriends, both of whom are probably by now aware they have had a lucky escape, the secret of surviving Bawbag without hating him was not sleeping with him in the first place and providing genuine affection without anything that could be interpreted as a string.

  • Bawbag had this thing, common with disordered people, where he wanted you to want him, but was not going to give away anything that suggested he was interested in you.  Since I have been used to such people from birth, I am very good at shorting this particular circuit and completely ignoring any indication of sexual tension.  So this is the first principle of getting to know difficult men.  You don’t sleep with them and you let them talk.  Being a good listener is priceless.
  • Similar to the case of Little Shiva, the relationship could be summed up in one flash of connection.  In the case of Little Shiva, we only ever had one conversation, and it was sufficient to have me making an epic throne for him and him checking the website frequently for the last five years or so, so my flashes of connection appear to be fairly intense.
  • Also, having been on the receiving end of behaviour of the worst siblings you can imagine, I am pretty thick skinned but have very clear boundaries, so when he started kicking at them it was very easy to say no to him.  Your closest friends  can be people you have no intention of speaking to as a result.  Particularly the last girlfriend was very confused by this. She had a very similar outlook to the problem ex in that she was constantly looking for an edge she could gain over you to get the required sexual attention, which is a dangerous mistake a certain type of woman always makes.  Bawbag likes to use this against you, and he was well aware that I am the opposite of this.  If you want to be with me, you will be with me, if you don’t, that is fine too.  I have no issues at all about incompatibility. My primary interest is quality of emotional connection, which makes life a lot simpler. Sex is messy and disturbing, so it takes a major second place to the quality of your relationship.
  • Bawbag was very controlling, and I responded to this by being just as controlling in response.  Every point raised was played back to him, so he was aware he was not going to easily stomp all over me.  He didn’t want to either, which from observation was new to him.  I have never witnessed such an epic internal fight as I saw with Bawbag in relation to me.  He knew perfectly well I was very fond of him, but absolutely not interested in taking any shit.
  • Bawbag is dumb about some things because of his disorder, but very smart about others.  If anything, he should consider a career as a pick up artist, because he is exceptionally good at intertwining with you emotionally.  I remarked upon this when chatting to the police at one point.  I do realise this is part of an elaborate con trick, but in order to pull it off, you have to have some emotions in the first place.  In terms of ability to connect with you, I have never met anyone who can touch him for sheer speed.
  • Bawbag was savvy enough not to tell me very much at all about his ‘other’ career.  I deduced what I do know about him from what I saw rather than what he said.
  • I was the dominant force in the relationship.  This is because of previous abuse.  I am the way I am because of the way I have been treated.  I know I am kind and laid back, but I don’t know about you, so I will always be like this. The person I am interested in at the moment, who probably isn’t interested in me but is always very pleasant, is also very kind and laid back and I do not know how that would work, so he is unlikely to be glorified in artwork any time soon.

To keep this brief, I will conclude that nobody is your inferior when it comes to matters of the heart, and out of the three women I am talking about in this post I ended up on top because I am genuine, not interested in who is superior, financially or otherwise and not at all scared of being alone.  If I have a deep love affair, it is often not sexual, probably the most intense I have ever been about anyone was Wolfe, and as soon as I knew how I felt I stopped watching or communicating with him directly because for one thing he was famous and I felt a bit stupid, and for another as it turned out he was married to at least two people and I have never been at all interested in getting involved with that.  A third issue would obviously be living on a different continent, but that makes absolutely no difference to how you feel.

Love is described by Plato as a lack, so if you are in love and don’t want to be, it is often a case of analysing it to death.  You decide what it is about the person that you feel you don’t have and want from them, and you seek to develop it, which is why Ina exists for Wolfe rather than anyone else, particularly.  I am very guilty of the principle that an artist never feels they are good enough, so I have not been particularly assertive about advertising.  Wolfe would spit on this, so it is something I have to work on, really.

Anyway, since Bawbag is out and about gathering things from various places and will probably have someone read this to him, yes I remain deeply fond of him and I remain completely disinterested in his pish.  Sadly, I doubt he is going to grow out of it but I hope he is OK and not hurting people.  It doesn’t help.

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Malta is nice this time of year

I was there a few years ago just around Christmas.

Oddly enough, some huge financial crim offered me a job there as my mother was dying. Exceptionally odd.

Thankfully, I realised what the job was and in any case was not going anywhere at that time.

Anyway, yeah I will prob return there at some point.


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Looks Like He is in Retirement

So it may or may not be Rishi.

Rishi does not read the blog, unfortunately, so I won’t bother too much talking about tories for the forseeable future.

Boris was a frequent visitor from 2016 to about 2020, then the visits tailed off a bit.  I had never previously heard of Cliveden and was unaware of government dens of iniquity having their own servers.

I doubt they will select Rishi, but whatever.

Anyway, the aim was, as I said, lifetime access to Chequers, an extra 115k a year of taxpayers money and free security, so he doesn’t actually need to run again.  I was surprised he even bothered cutting the holiday short.

Very bored at the moment, but making a millinery inspired coat.

Bawbag’s shop has been done out by the new tenant, they threw what was left of the oil can out this weekend, which was rather sad. Expensive tiles sitting out awaiting the bins.

Another sad end to a sad story. Poor Bawbag.



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Current Problems with Conservatism (yo Boris, check dis out)

OK so I havent bothered writing the BJ story as it isn’t finished yet and I have been rather busy recovering from long term grief issues.

Plus, I did, behind the scenes, give him an opportunity to help himself and me and he failed to take it.  This was via Dominic Cummings, and since he was rather a frenemy as it turned out, the message probably did not get through.

Anyway this post is about the current issues with the financial individuals and members of the Conservative Party currently trying valiantly to ruin your life.

In the course of my current employment, I am fortunate enough to get to talk to the brighter section of the population that actually understand what I’m saying, as opposed to people like my sisters who actively block whatever anyone more intelligent than them have to say. I cannot tell you how many of these people exist, and how much pleasure they seem to take in actually causing the death of other people.  No idea why that would make you feel good, but hey ho. Disordered and generally stupid people are everywhere. It is a source of deep shame that I would be related to some of them.

Anyway, let us start with the crashing of the economy and flooring of the pound.  This is something that the UK does periodically and in and of itself, is nothing to fear.  It will delay your plans for retirement for a year or two if you are wise, but recovery is inevitable due to the prediliction of the very same individuals who caused it wanting to make even more money at your expense and sell various businesses to Americans, who are also benefitting from the low pound. Foresighted American companies such as not for profit hospitals have been building in England for quite a while now, so you can imagine what a low pound means.

Those who have been reading the blog since 2016 or so will know I was very keen to see the pound lowered in value. This is very simple economics, although economists who specialise in the brakes, headlights or exhaust of the car, so to speak, may not see it.  The much neglected ‘cannon fodder’ proportion of the population that tories traditionally ignore will benefit from it in terms of increased work opportunities, now also available remotely as well as in manufacturing. It was high time for a fertilisation of the roots of the British economy, and it will be good to see some results when the neglected underclass finally secure an income as a result of an improvement in exports.

The problem is that there are no real thinkers in the Conservative party at the moment, so they are very bad at either reacting to or explaining what they are doing.  Jeremy Hunt as chancellor is a slightly better option than a guy that would sit and laugh during the Queen’s funeral whilst shafting you between snorts, however this is not good news for the English NHS.

From the perspective of the history of Scottish Conservatism, my own grandmother was an ardent devotee of Conservatism, my previous warnings to Boris of being a bit of a Churchill fanboi still hold true.  Scottish Conservatism historically differs from English Conservatism, whilst they cling to the union as if it is good for them, their current ideas seem to be as long as they cling to it, they are in the ‘might is right’ sector of society and they will hang on to the benefits they got whilst biting and scratching their way over everyone else to pay their boring mortgages.  The sooner we see the death of the Conservative Protestant white golfers of society, the sooner we will see some actual equality and diversity.  Not sure anyone is genuinely interested in actually doing that however, as probably over a hundred of the many companies I have scrutinised still favour the useless male over the committed but diverse worker.

So for the benefit of Boris, whom I must send a smooch for the ‘taking the oil from under drink sodden Scottish noses’ speech, here are the aspects of the history of Scottish Conservatism that you would benefit from, and here are the elements of this you can use to stick an ice pick into your poitical decline.  You remain God’s Gift to the independence movement, although Truss is also proving to be extremely helpful via lack of intellectual rigour and sheer incompetence.

  • Scottish Conservatism, for actual thinkers, was the Victorian idea of charity being a personal responsibility rather than ‘fuck the poor’.  My Victorian Scottish grandmother was a single parent with two children for much of her life, and still managed to buy her own house and feed the neighbours who were ‘poor’ in comparison with a woman who used to stay up all night fulfilling creative projects to pay for the kids.
  • Scottish Conservatism was a statement relating to colonialism.  Devotees were pro military, pro royalty rather than pro English and anti Scottish, as the dumb voters seem to think they have to be now.  I cannot tell you how many Scottish tories are stupid enough to tell me they are no longer Scottish in the course of research. This is something the SNP and the indy supporters interested enough to actually debate with No voters could address if interested in swinging the polls rather than make stupid insulting statements about irrelevant topics.
  • I have to say, I have no idea what Eton and Oxford are teaching people, but it seems to be of remarkably poor quality given the last few Conservative PMs.  Cameron and Gideon evidently failed ‘the Wall game.’  Boris, adept at this game, was a bit of an improvement, but too many holidays and too many poor relationship decisions ruined his tenure, never mind the determination to emulate a hated Prime Minister like Churchill with nothing to justify it.  (I could have helped you, you should have emailed, but after losing my best friend to yet more medical failures I was not in a state to bother pursuing it. I’ve had plenty male friends, you need to stop thinking with your lower abdomen)
  • I am not sure why nobody thinks to keep the public informed about how the British economy actually works, but if a barnstorming speech could be written, the deliverer would help the situation enormously, so I would suggest that should be done ASAP if you want to spare your neck in England.  That is, of course, if you can see the benefit of doing this rather than taking yet more holidays and screwing up your current marriage.

I realise, of course, that lifetime access to Chequers and a permanent income/security detail has now been secured, so Boris is effectively in retirement.  That is what this was really all about in terms of personal benefit.

OK so to translate for the rest of my readers, the British economic machine is cyclical, every so often we floor it to encourage the roots and make the country more competitive.  This is led by a few individuals with a great deal of money who secure vast fortunes by doing it.  I used to joke that the entire unemployed population exist to benefit five hedge fund managers in London, and this is not at all far off the mark.  Every few decades we floor it and restart the engine, a bit like rebooting a computer.  This makes us highly desirable in terms of investment, and keeps a very small country very rich when the reboot is complete.

Do not panic about things like pension values, this is reflective of low unit prices in managed funds and just means you should use any available funds to snap up some more units and keep working if you can for the next couple of years.  I laughed when I was told the Bank of England was buying up gilts to protect pension values, that is not the idea, they are buying up gilts because, if you track the historical performance of gilts, this will make them very very wealthy at a later date.

Bottom line – here is what your current thinking and potential barnstorming speech should contain:

  • A flooring of pound value and restart of the economy is normal and is done as part of an economic process. Whether any of the people doing it have any knowledge of history or not, is another matter, what we do know is that it has been done many times before and will continue to be done from time to time, so panicking about it is not helpful to you.
  • The sector of the population at the lower end, the factory workers, the exporters, the manufacturers, inventors and creatives who really make growth happen will all benefit from a low pound as it makes us more attractive to look at in terms of investment or simply purchases.
  • Thinkers ought to be encouraged in government, not rejected as not politically expedient.  This episode has highlighted to me, in particular, that nobody is interested in getting the job right, they are just interested in grabbing something for themselves.
  • Remote work from other countries is a good alternative to exporting, as this is also lucrative currently.  There are many opportunities to do this, especially when the pound is low as it is more cost effective to look at the UK for a workforce.
  • Scottish Conservatives do not think creatively, do not want to see change and are likely to be pro military, pro charity and pro Royalty.  If anyone wants to present a right wing pro independence alternative to them politically, this is the line they should take.
  • The multiplier works from the bottom sector of the economy, not the top.  If you have little money, you are forced to spend it, as opposed to sending it offshore, so if anyone genuinely wanted to see the British economy grow, they would focus on people suffering at the lowest income bracket, since their spending would further fertilise the roots rather than a mid sector squandering of investment via incompetent business advice quangos such as the ones that employ non entrepreneurs like my brother to give advice to people willing to risk their meagre savings on starting a business with grants and loans that they do not necessarily even need. Education is way more important than men in suits admiring each other’s willingness to dump their mothers into care homes and lining someone else’s pocket whilst they go on yet another unnecessary holiday.
  • Quell the panic in the investments and wealth market, encourage bottom feeders prospects and morale, invest wisely in things like remote work sourcing and export led business.  This is how the economy actually works long term. Don’t ask stupid questions, just do it.  That is how to rescue England.

In the meantime, we in Scotland would like to govern ourselves, and it is not the place of England to be milking the last country stupid enough to be paying to be in the union whilst insulting us.

And that is the end of my ‘How to be a better Tory, by a thinker that isn’t’ rant.  Good luck, and stop listening to stupid people. They delight in causing suffering.



Much affection,







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