Outgrown your job?

Today I am going to write a post I should have written about twenty years ago, because it would have saved me a lot of hassle.

I have had some astonishingly hostile treatment at work, even when avoiding contact with other workers.  I took to doing jobs that involved little to no contact with them some time ago.

Ironically, graduating was career suicide for quite a while.  As a student it is assumed that you are available for under-employment.  After finishing you are suddenly considered a threat, and I am not the only person that has had to remove qualifications from my CV in order to eat.

Basically if you find yourself in this position, it is time to look at the jobs you want to be in in five years and start listing the qualifications these jobs require.  Sometimes it is surprisingly doable to simply go and get those qualifications and then await the right opportunity.

It may seem like madness to invest in more education when your education is stopping you from finding a job to even keep you ticking over, but as with all things, an element of fantasy is important when pursuing your dream, whatever that may be.

Sometimes your dream may be non-work related, in which case you may prefer to simply look at salary levels and decide that way.  If your particular dream is time restricted (you aren’t going to be doing much pop singing at retirement age, for example) then it needs to be a job that you can do whilst pursuing your non-career dreams.

You may also find that your dream finds you.  There is at least one chef out there that worked with me as a musician who had just quit his degree, and found that cooking was as creative, if not more so, than his band.  The one I am thinking of went grey fairly quickly, so I am not sure how well he eventually did with the music.

This year, since I am kicking an almost passive income stream off, in the form of possibly marketing supermix in its reductionist form  (although I see someone has done a 45 ingredient version called Super Elixir) and potentially selling some books and games, my priority is thinking about marketing.

Next year I am likely to be thinking about production again, as I have rather a lot of work to do to get where Ina is going.

Budget is likely to be a significant issue, so it will be interesting to see how I get on under serious time restriction, especially as I have no intention of abandoning the Boris project.

A few legal issues to deal with, so if I am quiet for a few days, worry not I shall return shortly.



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My privileged life

Right, so now that I have been hounded out of a job in which I deliberately avoided interacting with people to avoid the inevitable outcome, I spent today paying bills – like a perfectly normal person, dealing with mail – again like a perfectly normal person, cleaning – ooooh so normal, and working on Boris’s face – OK not so normal but not that outlandish.

I also ate – seems pretty normal to me, and shock, horror, went shopping!  How weird and freaky am I?

Since I had the foresight to make sure I had two jobs, and in fact turned another one down a fortnight ago, I am not too alarmed. I do, however, need more than one so I now have to deal with that issue yet again to ensure I can meet the Boris deadline at the end of next month.

Fortunately, I know several other people who attract just as much negative attention from morons, both kinky and latent, as I do, so it doesn’t bother me that much anymore.  I turned down the research work two weeks ago because the interviewer was so desperate to impress me with his dominance that I decided not to bother.

Thankfully, I still have the consultancy and a wage, and with a bit of persistence, should be able to find some alternative and ideally less annoying colleagues in the near future.  I will not be in a hurry to work for another American company after that experience, however.

It is the sheer lack of self-awareness that astonishes me.  I remember the moment that I fell in love with Wolfe, was a mistake he made in the company of a rather vile vlogger who videoed him being caught in a moment of self-awareness.  That was my ‘OMG it really is that one’ moment.  Until then I had always wondered why I was on the hook, and rather resented it.

They do not seem to be presented with any alternatives to tunnel vision capitalism as a rule, which is quite challenging if you are used to nothing else (Boris will completely understand my perspective here as he had a similar political upbringing to mine)  When you are aware of the two sides of a coin as a matter of course, people who are led to believe in goodies and baddies are a bit basic.

Anyway, that has significantly damaged the project.  Congratulations to the fascists on that score, because I now have to waste considerably more time on securing sufficient income to make sure it goes ahead.  Tiresome, but not a surprise, and I suppose I could have played along and pretended to be interested in puppies, or whatever people like them choose to talk about.


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Applied Fascism Class 1

It starts with an idea.  The intention is usually unity, whether that is unity of a group, a race, a country or a company.

The idea in this case was to provide inspiring videos for a company full of people in a fairly isolating job.

Therefore, the answer would seem to be to create a ‘university’ of videos, from diverse places – which as it turns out were not all that diverse – and people would discuss their ideas.

It had not crossed the company owners’ minds that they were promoting ideals as they did so.  Until the arrival of Ina, who did not want to talk to anybody after an initial attempt at visual communication (the problem and apparently ‘shock’ artwork was Rebekah Brooks is fit for work.)

Now, for the simple-minded, I do not expect people to think my work is particularly pretty, and the titles are usually about 40-50 percent of the story being told.  I was however, a bit concerned when the first response of one of the genius staff of this company was to send me a green sick looking emoji and a rather infantile ‘What’s that?”  No question of her actually using google, or anything that athletic, of course.  Rather than pointing out the mannerlessness of this, her supervisor gently pushed the photo out of sight with some bland bullshit she had picked up in the USA, in case the moron was further upset by the sight of my work.

Such is the level of intellectual operation.  So much for that, I thought, I just won’t bother speaking to them.  I left all the rather futile social groups they insisted I was a part of since the conversations were a bit inane anyway, and got on with my job, which I would have thought was the actual point.  The next time I met with my team leader, he then used this to say I was a monster, the poor girl insulting me was an angel, I was to do as I was told or he would be entitled to, and I quote ‘do what he liked to me.’

Now in case you think this is actual harassment, it is not.  The people concerned are in their homes, and this is conducted over video.  It does not make it any more pleasant.  It went on for some time, whilst I pointed out that I am not young, do not require bullying to sit in a tedious group that I am not interested in, and am not really interested in status bullshit in a fairly low-level job. Basically the answer, as I said at the time, was not to interact with the other staff at all if it could be avoided.

This week, they started a brand new training programme off.  As I have said, this consisted of corporate and meaningless inspirational twaddle from a variety of sources, and we were to consider it a privilege to be forced to participate in it.  I was initially told that it was voluntary, and yesterday it turned out that it was compulsory, and that objecting to it was a MAMMOTH PROBLEM.

Now, I already knew that their ideas of training were not mine, since during my training I had been shown some badly researched American corporate propaganda, which to a British eye is very right wing to start with, although if you are a bit simple you could stretch it into being ‘positive.’  I watched otherwise apparently sane people sit and nod sagely and say every one of these videos were excellent as they, quite simply, needed an income.

The problem came when a genuine Tory voter, a braying woman from Nottingham, used their video on providing employment for disabled people to repeat her point about disabled people costing the UK too much money.  The founder happened to come in that day, and she started trying to oil him up by making this point, for the umpteenth time in two or three days.

“Really?”  I said.

I was already very tired and upset because the NHS and social work department had told me that if I tried to stop them killing my mother, I would be legally attacked and accused of not acting in her best interests because they were ‘medical professionals’ and were acting together.  This is what happens when you unify stupid people in your Durkheimian fascist paradise.  They use it to form groups and kill people to protect the societal ‘organism’.

Anyway, the founder decided that I was being political, apparently oblivious to the fact that the donkey was being not only stupid but political and extremely nasty into the bargain, and again ignored it when I provided him with links to the academic studies illustrating that Conservative austerity policy had killed 125,000 sick and disabled people by 2016.  Far from costing the government too much money, disabled people were being killed and everyone is (still) ignoring it.  WTF is wrong with people?  And this figure is entirely separate from people like my mother who are medically killed so that stupid consultants and nurses can bond at work whilst spending money on pharmaceuticals.  I am sure the hospital, district nurses and the social work department are killing someone else’s parents as we speak.

So, you would think from this that they would take the hint.  That attempting to provide, even innocently, an education when you are the source of income is a bad idea, and that you are inserting ideals into people who think they have to agree with it in order to form a team.

Speaking to one of the other owners yesterday, he asked me what was wrong with people agreeing?

“WW2” I said.  That is what happens when people agree and form a team under corporatism. “Don’t get the uniforms from Hugo Boss this time.”

I was told at least twice yesterday that I was permitted to voice my opinion.  Since I knew from the earlier artwork incident and the incident with the disabled viewpoint that this was not true, I said so.  He reacted like a spanked child.  He lost face.  Therefore I knew that it was likely that I would be terminated today.

So it came time to fire me, and the thug team leader turned up, salivating to see the spectacle of me losing my income.  So I finally reported the incident over the artwork.  Why had I not reported it at the time?  I was asked.

“Because I’m a big girl and can take care of myself, and because I actually liked this job provided you left me alone. You don’t seem to be able to do that.” I said.

If someone else is treated the way I was treated, hopefully they are more likely to be listened to than I would have been. Instead of being asked about the artwork incident, it was used as a stick to beat me with even today as they fired me.  I was causing problems by being creative or knowing anything.

Quite apart from these people being complete assholes, they lack any awareness of the dangers of consensus.  To achieve consensus, you must refuse to tolerate questions, alternative opinions and different types of people.  Consensus, as happened today, involves obliterating any irritants.  Consensus is itself fascist, because it is against any idea of diversity of thought.

These people want to have an unhealthy, badly educated company of clones who do the job badly but agree about insipid bullshit.  God forbid anyone have any ideas of their own.  It would be against the Durkeimian organism they are unwittingly creating.  The owners have no idea how many stupid beliefs they have already planted in these dull TV-tranquilised minds.

I was good at my job because I liked all the things they are now removing.  I like being on my own.  I like talking to people briefly, but cannot be bothered with distracting staff relationships, and I have little to no interest in being a high status phone jockey.  I would have sat for years doing that job quite happily.   Instead they have chosen to have a company of people who will turn over fairly quickly, be quite stupid, not know the details of several of the industries that they service (as I did, thanks to my very varied work history)  and who most importantly will agree with anything they say.  It is so nice to be right, right, right!

It is only a matter of time before they move from the disabled, the artists and the academics to the gays and the Jews.  They are already following the same pattern of belief and behaviour, just by attempting to agree about absolutely anything at all.

God forbid anyone have a free thought. Fuck you very much!

(and don’t even get me started on the randy lesbian)

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Reviewing the News

I do skim the news from time to time, although my view of things is somewhat larger than most people’s.  I was unwittingly trained from quite an early age to think of things in centuries rather than years, since WW2 was last month as far as my parents were concerned. (I was blessed with a double generation gap)  I then chose to study history over about 11 centuries all over the world because I was interested in how the overall machine works, what it looks like and how to tweak it effectively. Economic game designers who understand this are thin on the ground, and it is rare that we actually get to do much work.

This is why I find Conservative history a fairly small project.  It is a subset of a subset, and not much trouble at all.

I think many of the current problems stem from a notion of togetherness.  I am sure Boris will completely understand when I say that Conservative philosophy is not about togetherness.  It is about separateness, the morality of gain and relying on a rather outdated veneer of respectability and responsibility.  Britain votes Labour when Britain can afford to vote Labour, and the rest of the time they bring in the Conservatives, who, whilst obsessed with self, are at least better at doing sums.

That, broadly, is the English population’s understanding of politics and economics.  When the school runs riot, vote for the prefects.  When things are safer, then improve things for the kids.

I do not mean here to single out the English population, because I found in recent years that the Scottish population, whilst slightly better in median terms, was also pretty low grade in terms of awareness of politics as a debate.

The ‘form a team and win win win’ mentality is something we seem to be adopting in an effort to dumb the British population to the level of the American population, where aggression and verbal abuse takes the place of anything approaching discussion.

This may be helpful for increasing and maintaining social control, but it is not helpful at all for improving the nation for the future.  I plan, in the course of the project, to be discussing this with fake Boris, who is alas still languishing in my kitchen awaiting eyelashes.  (this week has been unusually harsh due to my inability to sleep whilst starting my new job)  As promised, I will be doing this in interpretive dance.

For the moment, it might be an idea to return to positivity towards other nations, and moving the focus away from European and Russian issues.  Easier said than done due to the media, but perhaps thinking about the personal PR might create something happier for people to focus on rather than not getting to play football for whatever reason.  You have to remember, that no matter how childlike you are, everybody else is considerably more infantile, even the ones with eyebags and sore feet.

Of course, you might prefer to relax and paint cheese boxes.  I wouldn’t blame you at all, but if you can hang in there for another five weeks or so, I should be in a position to at least start doing some work.

It is all a bit creatively intense in terms of the presentation for the moment, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Might be an idea to learn semaphore.

Much affection,



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Hilarious work

Ahh it is good to be back in a workplace, particularly a workplace that is not terrified of me.

Yesterday, we had to create a presentation about some technicalities of our role.  There were three groups of relatively shy people, all of whom had been given a huge pile of information which they do not quite understand yet because we haven’t actually done any work.

My group consisted of a very sociable female, a lazy but very intelligent dude from Ghana, a reptilian brained financial whizzkid, and me.

So, I decided, the best way of utilising the human resource was to mind map the entire course in one graphic.

“I don’t know what that means.” said the reptilian “We only have to talk about this.”  he pointed at some dry technical information about software at the bottom of the page.  “And not even all of it, so I don’t know what you are doing.”  he shook his head.

“I did this.”  The Ghanian waved a piece of paper, even more sparse than my graphic at me, showing much the same information.  He is very smart, but there is such a thing as being too chill.

“What about this?”  the sociable female said, bringing up several worrying factors about our imminent work, all of which connected to actual people and their lives.

So, with this I had some hilarious conversations where I had to gently tell the reptilian he was a reptile to let the humanity into the graphic, none of which made a tremendous amount of sense to either of them.

What I ended up with was a single sheet showing everything we had learned and how to actually do the job on one handy sheet. We actually got a round of applause, because I had let the rest of the people voice their concerns and talk about what interested them and made best use of it.  In terms of a teamwork exercise, we smashed it.

From this I have always concluded that working in three dimensions when you are not bogged down in the flatter world of work is a good idea.  You get far more of a sense of overview, of how to create a more workable picture, and it makes it far easier to actually communicate your ideas.  Dialogue is less useful than letting the friction do its own work.

Today is the last day of this part of our training, and from next week we have to actually make all the systems work together.  This is probably the first time I have been rather sad to finish training, since we will all be sent on to our respective shifts and will not see each other again.

I suppose I had better start wearing an actual suit.


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What if the only thing holding you back was you?


What if the reason you were frightened of the world was not because of persistent bullying?

What if you didn’t worry about that person who stopped you winning a competition, getting the job you wanted, marrying the person you wanted?

What if your failure to achieve promotion was not because somebody else was better than you are, but because you did not seem mentally prepared for responsibility?

What if your life was exactly the way you intended?

What if you just dropped all that bullshit, forgot about the bad things and just concentrated on getting what you wanted?  If one thing does not work out, you shoot for another and hope for change in the interim.

I used to laugh at Wolfe for suggesting that a diet was a big factor in societal failure, although I did agree with his comments about political constipation, which has contributed quite a lot to the No Glass Walls project.  I just did not understand at the time, although I took him up on his suggestion of consuming wheatgrass to see how different I felt after two weeks, and I have to say he was absolutely right.

At the moment, I can see exactly who is on this website.  I can see how often they visit, where they are in the world, and what pages they look at.  I can see what equipment they are using and what browser they prefer.  This is very helpful in ensuring that I know whether my projects are successful.  Intelligence is key in any surveillance operation.

Who am I watching and why?  Not whom you would think at all.  They are both welcome to come and go as and when they please. No, I am interested in the audience, not the participants.

One of my exs, a particularly annoying Yank called Alan, used to tell me that what he feared most was having nowhere to go.  He now lives about two streets away and has refused to befriend me on the grounds that he is living with someone.  His loss, frankly, my other exs can manage to grow out of that one.

My schtick is having something to do.  As long as I have a long list of things to do, I am a happy bunny regardless of goal.  I think this is a good place to start, although rewards are also nice from time to time.

I should work on the reward part really, as the activity without reward is often quite expensive.  Otherwise, it is probably better to gain satisfaction from smaller goals if you aren’t necessarily ready for the big ones.

Your challenge for tonight is to figure out what you actually wanted from your life, and to go and do that rather than wring your hands and blame other people for your inadequacy. You can waste your entire life worrying about stuff that really doesn’t get you anywhere.




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Welcome to the world Ina



The following recipe is one that I took years to develop, and I know from experience that people sometimes don’t bother trying it, but it does seem to work so it is worth a try.

The powder mixture contains a lot of anti inflammatory, mood enhancing, mineral rich superfoods and herbs from all over the world. Nothing in it is toxic or dangerous unless you were to take an astonishingly large quantity of it. I live on it. When I don’t live on it I get very ill, and it seemed to work for my mother also.

If you are asked about it, just tell them it is a health drink as I can tell you from experience that explaining that it is a complete food then allows them to verbally attack you. It is very tiresome, but people are stupid and lazy.

My mother had stopped eating and was close to death when I put her on it, and it helped her, so please at least try it for three weeks and see if you see a similar improvement.

If you need any help or additional advice the easiest and probably quickest way to find me is betterpersonproject@gmail.com I hate phones.

Supermix for building up very ill people

Here is the herb and superfood mix. The basic principle is that you remove anything causing inflammation or your body having to do any work, and replace it with something that promotes healing. Nothing in this mixture should affect existing medication.

The only objection possible from a medical person is that it would improve blood quality, hence you cannot theoretically use it with blood thinners because of the other fruit and vegetables in the drink.

Every second day you can try an almost normal meal or two, provided it contains no rice, bread, sugar, potato, pasta, noodles or cow’s/goat’s milk, butter or cream. Eg a curry or casserole is fine, but the accompaniments are not if they are starchy or sugary filler items..

To make the drink

Take a large dessertspoon or two heaped teaspoons of the powder mixture

At least half a jar of honey to taste – my mother was managing about half a jar a day. No sugar!

At least two avocados

Up to a can of coconut milk or cream

Two tablespoons of coconut oil

5-10 portions of fruit, depending on what your person likes – pineapple should not be used alone, because pineapple is quite medicinal in taste on its own and difficult to make mild, but apart from that any fruit. I found my mother to be very fond of berry flavour, and this is helpful for the brain. You can get it cheapest in the freezer section of the supermarket with the smoothie stuff.

Dates are great but not every day due to the high potassium content if your patient has a questionable heart.

At least 4 chewable vitamin C tablets- this is optional, but I found the more the better – if you OD on vitamin C you have runny poo so you do know when to stop and it isn’t otherwise toxic.

A large bunch of coriander

If this mixture is too thick, add unsweetened almond or coconut milk from the supermarket (you can get it anywhere now)

Put all of this in a blender or food processor and blend it thoroughly

You should end up with something that looks and tastes like a thick milkshake. It is extremely easy to consume and gives your body something to work with that isn’t making it work too hard at digesting it. Trying it thicker like a pudding and thinner like a drink also makes it more fun for the person who has to consume it, and you want them to take as much of it as possible.

My mother was managing 1-3 litres of this every day through a straw. Every two to three days she was able to manage a full meal of something like a 3 egg omelette with smoked salmon, black pudding or fish but otherwise she pretty much lived on this and got better rather than worse.

It lasts for about two days and then you have to make a fresh one so do not be tempted to make more of it than you need. Just make sure he gets as much of it as possible.

Let me know how it goes. If you find it is working I will make a more affordable and specific recipe so that you can make it up yourself. It is not cheap, but it seems to work wonders at getting the body to repair itself.

My version is extremely comprehensive and costs about £3k a year for two people to live on, but I am an extremist, so I can make you up a recipe for a more affordable version if necessary. You will probably find a lot of the ingredients familiar as I have used ingredients and remedies from all over the world, including India, Pakistan, the Middle East, China, South America, Russia etc. I experimented a lot on myself and my mother, so I now have some idea on what works and what doesn’t, which should save you a lot of time and money.

Otherwise the key to post-stroke seems to be making everyday activity into an exercise programme. I found doing things like making boiled eggs to improve my mother’s dexterity when she tried to eat them and daily massage to improve physical communication extremely helpful. Colour therapy, in the form of producing bright and changing objects for her to look at also seemed to keep her motivated and happy.


This is what happens if you happen to indicate that your father is unwell and you bump into me.  In addition I managed to simultaneously shock (when he discovered that I must be quite ancient) and bore (by my intense fixation on health) a nice young man that took a mild fancy to me.

I seem to be an oddly huge character with quiet but off the wall tendencies these days.





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Ina Disguise Q and A 2

I haven’t done one of these for a while, but today is your lucky day.  I am quite irritated with various things, so I will answer some questions.


Dear Ina, do you have no respect for the sanctity of marriage?  You seem to have a thing for married men?

I have every respect for the sanctity of marriage. Had I known that Wolfe was married, I would have not wasted any time or energy on the emotional work required to get where I am.  I did not know in 2009/10, the information was not apparent in any of my research, and only found out on my birthday this year.

I was under the impression that I was instead creating a medium for explaining the philosophy of love in a fictional context, to a person that I am emotionally similar and yet opposite to. This is just a massive random coincidence that I took several months to figure out whilst giggling at videos, which I listened to whilst doing my previous work.  That work successfully appeased Patrick McGoohan during the last part of his life, when some Americans tried to ruin his beautiful piece of work, The Prisoner.  The Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing Project flowed pretty much immediately from that, although it took a long time to get to release.

I do not see why I should feel shame about somebody else’s business, or my feelings, which are perfectly normal, if somewhat hard work.  I will say however, that in both cases, my muses are entitled to a bit of emotional freedom, and Ina is a great way of providing that without harming anybody.  Creativity takes many forms and mine apparently focuses on giving away affection where it is not particularly needed or wanted in exchange for the creation of stuff and my own self-development.


Do you hate Scotland now?


No, I do not hate Scotland.  There are several aspects of Scottish culture that I have always been nauseated by and this is particularly raw at the moment due to the murder of my mother.  People are very stupid.  That is why we are not independent.

I also particularly objected to the attitude of the SNP that if we believe in independence we should prevent England brexiting if it so chose.  Brexit is not an ideal choice short term, but it has benefits which include an underhand way of reviving manufacturing and benefitting the people that the Conservatives have been ignoring.  For this, I think it is a good thing, and as I have said, Britain 2200 looks a lot better out of Europe than in.

Independence is a separate issue and I do not have any faith that the 55 percent that prevented independence the last time are any less stupid now.


Are you a closet racist?


Nope, any one of my friends will tell you that I am absolutely not a racist, in fact I am a namby pamby foreigner lover who respects arbitrary bits of religious nonsense and tries hard to learn quickly so as not to cause offence with things they would object to.

I do not however, agree with the SNP that Scotland would benefit from an unlimited stream of people using Scottish resources and I do not want the entire country covered in blocks of badly built flats to house them. Nor do I see any problem with residents of Govanhill wondering why after tolerating endless alcohol, homeless and drug hostels, they now have to tolerate gangs, muggings and human trafficking.

A bit more industrialisation would be nice to make sure Scotland can cope financially, but we have a beautiful country, largely thanks to the class system, and it would be nice to keep it that way.

You may think this is an odd thing to say but I am sorry to say it is absolutely true.


Do you hate Nicola Sturgeon?


Nicola Sturgeon is the best person for the job, however I do not hang on her every word because I don’t think I have to, apparently unlike the rest of the indy movement.  It looks pretty unhealthy from where I’m sitting, but if it gets you there, that’s fine with me.  I won’t be any more sociable than I am at present.

Both Nicola and Alex are probably the most technically proficient politicians of their generation.  They do not need or want any help from me and it would benefit the party somewhat if MPs did a whole lot more learning from them in terms of technique.

I am still of the opinion that some rhetoric and dialectic training would benefit the party enormously when operating in Westminster.


Aren’t you a Tory now?


No, I am just interested in politics generally, and I appreciate others who are the same.  Take from that what you like.


What are your plans for this year?


Releasing a shoe and smaller accessory collection, finishing the games, writing Lucifer Ogilvie and working on the national project with my version of Boris Johnson.  The real one is kind of busy on his half of the project, which is independent of mine. Losing the rest of this weight.  Feeling good enough to resurrect the original book once the game plan is even clearer.  Avoiding stupid virtue signallers.  Doing some marketing and coding courses, and some financial work to make sure I can survive without having to deal with any actual relationships.


Shouldn’t you just find a man?


No, because I am too busy, and if I were to be in a relationship, nothing would get done because whoever it was would be covered in blisters and scratches.  I am not interested in getting to know any more people that want to waste my time.  I do have to rest sometimes to plan the next stage in order to get all this completed before I am dead.  Women live longer without them anyway.








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A boring post about health

Having been down the road of extreme weight loss several times – when I say extreme, I mean losing half your bodyweight or more – it gets better and less stressful with practise.

I now know, for example, to go with the flow – sometimes you are on a roll and easily able to shift 50lb or more without a break, and sometimes you need to sort of ‘let it settle’ and let your skin and posture catch up for a while.

My back problems, which were partially caused by my urgent need to shift a lot of weight and use of corsetting to avoid the need for core exercises, as getting out was more important, have been greatly eased, but not completely removed, by the rehearsals.  Messing with flags and walking a lot is very good exercise for a bad back.

If I was sensible I would go full-hippy and take up yoga again.  I have done in the past but alas I am more motivated by competing with myself, so I am better suited to other things.  I am just not cool enough for yoga for more than ten minutes before I would rather be doing something else, unfortunately.

So, having settled after shifting the first 70lb, it is now time to shift some more.

Interestingly, I have now found a healthy weight scale that actually takes my huge bone structure into account, and it turns out the weight I would bonk myself at is actually my healthiest weight, so I have habitually lost too much in the past, which is probably why being at an allegedly healthy weight is a painful and miserable experience.

At 98lb, which I have been for two periods in the past, I had to run at fairly high intensity for about four hours per day and eat every two days.  I thought I looked good, but I used to be referred to as ‘three melons on a stick’ by surprisingly thin people, so I guess I was a bit of a freak.  At one point, at the top end of the allegedly healthy weight for my height, a doctor who had never previously met me told me with some horror that I needed to eat more and to stop doing whatever I was doing.  This was at 120lb or so, so it made no sense to me at the time.  When will they stop criticizing and start saying I am doing something right, I thought?

It turns out from the new scale that I located that the correct weight is more like 160-170lb, which is way heavier than most women of my height, but is because I am supposed to be a sturdy little person that can throw other people around the room and have a very good quantity of lean body mass.  This comes as something of a relief and makes actually being healthy a more approachable idea.  I wonder how many other people out there, punishing themselves over not being good enough, have had their lives devastated by anxiety because nobody is using the right tools in the first place?

The NHS, in my early life when I was actually miserable about it, rejected obesity as being a problem and I was basically told that I was big and not to worry about it.  After they decided that it was useful for getting funding and more surgeons and departments, it suddenly became an epidemic in the early 2000s. I have worked in several equally wasteful departments of the NHS.  They aren’t even particularly helpful, because they choose to reject preventative medicine and use a low denomination approach which is helpful to very few people in reality.

So, it looks as if a six month deadline on reaching a reasonable weight, which is actually heavier than I was when my sisters were braying disgusting verbal abuse during my childhood, is workable, and this has cheered me up immensely.  My current campaign of ignoring everybody and doing whatever I feel like doing regardless is most helpful.  So much so, that I think it should be the first thing every person with a weight problem deals with.

As I have said before in previous posts on obesity:  Start from the perspective that you are fine, then look at your relationships and see who is eroding your confidence to the point that hiding and putting something in your mouth to shut yourself up is the only option.  Once you have got rid of them, life gets a lot easier and more pleasant.  It is their problem.  Don’t make it yours anymore.  The likelihood is that you have been listening to somebody else’s hang ups and beating yourself up with it.  Stop that.


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The Politics of Fear

Adam Curtis did a very good piece on this some years ago.

Theresa May is preparing the British public for some extremely harsh policies, which alongside the imminent sell off of the NHS and other public services, which will make several Tories very rich, means that the ‘Lilliput government’ project that I mentioned in Introducing Lucifer Ogilvie is well underway.

By far the fastest and best way of avoiding this scenario is removing Theresa May and Phillip Hammond.

I think Jeremy Corbyn has made a shrewd move on the subject of Russia, and some unexpectedly statesmanlike statements have actually reached the public?  Was Conservative PR central taking a day off?  How did his statements even reach the public?

Making the UK as hysterical as the USA will work on approximately the same proportion of the population that hate everyone that is not English and spend their time on social media ranting and raving about Marxism as if it is some sort of heinous monster.  They aren’t very bright and they don’t like anybody.  Whilst my mother was being murdered in hospital for the crime of being elderly and disabled, I had one of these thick Tory voters ranting and raving at me at work about ‘the amount of money being spent on the disabled in the UK.  They should all be working.’

These people are stupid, they aren’t very productive and they hate everyone. I have three of them in my own family.  The idea of them being flexible or adapting to change makes them laugh, and they never ever work more than one job because of their massively inflated sense of entitlement.  Why would the Tories seek to encourage such people?  Because hatred fuels disagreement, which in turns enables a weak government to push through policies to punish one group at a time until nobody has anything left.  Because by and large, these people are led by their equally unpleasant peers and employers to vote Tory.

No political theory deserves to be elevated to this level.  Marx himself would be horrified that his drunken ramblings with his friends caused the amount of death it has caused.  Marx used to drink with an anarchist and a fascist.  That in itself ought to tell you what Boris has tried to tell you on many occasions that I have witnessed, and I am far from an avid TV viewer, and what I am telling you now.  Politics is a debate, it is not a religion and if you want to change something, you have to speak up.

I doubt very much that Russia is sufficiently interested in anything the UK or USA is doing to bother with childish and rash attacks on its own former spies.  It is the equivalent of using a cosh where a rapier would be neater and more efficient.  Nerve gas is also a very stupid way of killing somebody.  I would say that this event has actually reduced my faith in our current leaders rather than increasing it.

I do not want to live in Theresa May’s branded paradise of poverty, thank you.  No confidence!



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