Chitty Chat

chitty chat

I have no particular topic today, so just a bunch of random thoughts.


I watched the debate between Trump and Clinton, and am shocked to see the number of Americans who are completely incapable of thinking politically.  Two people today that I bothered trying to talk to not only failed to notice that I was not American, but assumed I was a Clinton supporter.  Their political arguments seemed to consist of repeating everything Trump says.  This lack of awareness or education is quite frightening.


Many relatively sane Americans are now comparing Trump to Hitler, but to be honest he is more of a Mussolini figure.  Actually, scratch that, even Mussolini was advanced in comparison with Trump, who now looks like a whining self advertisement with no actual awareness of what he is doing, or why.


It is rather insulting to have to watch it to be honest, never mind seeing the mind numbing response of Americans to watching Trump eat his own feet in front of millions of people.  Why is someone this dodgy even being considered as a candidate?  Why would anyone consider voting for him?


Apart from that, the mandala is in its final stages, and I have found that galleries are very keen to see what I can do with furniture, so I will be working on a quick furniture collection over the next month or so.  The carpets and handbags are quite expensive, so I figure some furniture items and creating a design concept that can be acquired might provide me with more of a portfolio.  I do find two dimensions very limiting, so I cannot imagine doing much in the way of painting.


The Boris Experience is not going well.  I find I like him less as he gets older, from the books so far, and I am shocked to find Stanley is not the person I thought he was at all.  From a seemingly kindly and pleasant individual, I now find that he is a sort of gadabout socialite, and Boris, in comparison seems relatively human and serious. This was not what I expected at all.


I am also having some problems with vision at the moment, which is a bit limiting when you are trying to do any reading.  I am hoping that this improves, but it is not fun when you are used to having perfect eyesight.


Apart from that, I should be doing a mandala post shortly, so please do look out for that.  It is an interesting piece.

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Talking about Indy again

Ok I see some people have missed the point of what I have been saying in the last few posts about voter psychology.


For the benefit of the people who do not understand what I am saying, here it is again:

People saying no to independence, do so on the basis that any problem is somebody else’s responsibility.  This is why they like to talk about how much they hate Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP.
They are choosing who to complain about when they vote.  Politics is like a spectator sport for most people, and they have no conception of how to make or visualise economic decision making, far less have any notion of how economic strategies are created and carried out.  I do, hence the rather conservative looking post yesterday.  The fact is, that the conservatives used to have a clue how to grow the economy.  They are going through a particularly sleazy patch at the moment, which is what happens every time they feel safe.
Therefore it is pointless to say independence will be great, we get to administer our own money, because any question that mistakes are their fault makes the entire idea utterly ghastly.

What people are failing to understand is that the half of the population who do not want independence see it as a threat.  A threat to their lives, their properties, the nature of Scotland, and most importantly their status.  You are not dealing with forward or outward looking people, you are dealing with people who want everything to stay the same.


As someone very familiar with people who are terrified of change, they will do anything to discredit you, your views, any question that you might be right will be rejected until it is far too late.  We need to burst that bubble.


So, my suggestion, as per my post yesterday, is a pre-prepared vision of how independence will work based on harsh reality, and based on the idea that these people will not in fact lose their houses, pensions, summer holiday, naff car, or tasteless furniture.  A brutal yet soporific vision of a realistic approach to economic growth which enables the disenfranchised poor, and does not empty the pockets of the workers, savers, property holders so that they do not fear change.


By far the biggest hurdle is assuring them that they will maintain their status.  Many people who have had more comfortable lives fear losing that more than anything, so I would suggest concentrating on the several thousand civil service jobs that will be created rather than simply saying we can grow the economy would be in order.  More money in circulation means more nice restaurants for them to eat at, and inflated property prices.  Try taking that tack, because the very nature of their resistance to change, is that they only understand the world as it applies to them.


If you still don’t understand that, I cannot help you. Sigh.

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Realities of Independence

I was avoiding writing this, because it is a complicated economic post, and it may dissuade some SNP members from their enthusiasm, but since I am a bit fed up today, I think I will write it now.


As my Slovenian friend tells me, it is likely that the Uk will say anything to stop Scotland from voting for independence, and there is a huge chunk of the population who find it much easier to simply do as they are told in order to avoid the unexpected.  The SNP have always been extremely good at avoiding being left or right, but some of the ice cream policies I mentioned yesterday indicate that they are leaning to the left.


There is nothing at all wrong with leaning to the left, but it is not what you require when you are building a country.  Many of the policies they are pursuing today are anti-austerity with good reason – independence is a good idea and they would like you to vote for it.


Having said this, there has to be a firm system of priorities in order to get Scotland to pay for itself in a short period of time.  Priorities which are not at all attractive, cuddly or pleasant.


In order to attract investment and create jobs, for example, particularly unskilled jobs, since we lost so many of those after the smoking ban and after the deprioritisation of manufacturing and industry during the Thatcher era, several harsh and ugly decisions have to be made, including:

not being particularly fussy about what gets built on brownfield sites, and reclassifying some greenfield sites to accommodate companies willing to employ people. Objections to developments such as the Pink Flamingo development at Balloch would have to be ignored, and many sleepy beauty spots would have to be developed. Removal of the EU VAT imposition on the refurbishment of often historic property would at least preserve some quality buildings.
welcoming low paid jobs – I have never been a fan of the minimum wage, since I started work without it and out-earned my employer within a fortnight.  People have to get on the employment ladder somehow, however for this to work properly it has to be implemented alongside:
radical housing benefit changes, with landlords given incentives for developing their properties in the form of a tie-in between property value and rents.  This would also greatly ease the hardship we are about to face in the form of the massive homelessness problem from November, when housing benefit for families is to be capped, and in some cases removed entirely, some estimates are predicting half a million homeless children from November onwards under the Tories. This would also send families out of the city to larger, cheaper properties in areas which need children to keep schools and medical centres going.
awareness of the over-education of the Scottish workforce.  As someone who has a very good degree, which I was repeatedly told made me over-qualified in Scotland, and whose friends went to England for their initial post qualifying jobs or stacked shelves, I am all too aware of the number of people in Scotland who have never got to actually use their education.  It is all very well becoming a mecca for students but they need to have something to do after they qualify other than gnash their teeth over the welcoming and funding of overseas graduates to encourage them to stay in Scotland when so many of us get nothing out of our pile of debt.
As I have said before, Scotland needs at least one generation of factories in order to beget the second or third generation of supporting services to be able to afford nice policies like the extension of childcare and free prescriptions.
Scotland being welcoming to all – unless you provide a clear plan of how you are going to double the number of jobs and encourage the small to medium size business sector, this will not last long.
Certain sectors, such as engineering and shipbuilding, are greatly aided by coastal commerce, which has been largely destroyed by the EU agreement to disallow Scottish fishing or place it under quota.  We have already lost a great deal of the skills we formerly had because of this, and this needs to be rectified.
IT and games manufacture is a good, skill rich area to concentrate on, as is financial services, since the banks in England are looking elsewhere.  These are east coast industries at present, and it would be wise to continue with what works.

You cannot simply make popular and worthy sounding policies without paying for them, and indicating to no voters, who are often worried homeowners and forelock tugging employees, that you plan to do this by making their lives more difficult is not likely to make independence a popular option.  A clear decisive way of making Scotland pay for itself without oil is something that you should have a team of economists working on plans for NOW rather than later.  This is exactly what I mean by ‘ice-cream’ policies – policies that sound worthy, but it is unclear how you envisage this working for the Scottish taxpayer unless there are a lot more of them.


Under Labour, local councils have made polices which mean you are penalised for having savings or owning your house as it is.  It is stretching credulity to suppose that Tory leaning No voters are looking fondly at expensive but popular options at this point.  It might be wise to provide some reassurance.



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Tory and New Labour psychology

Tory and New Labour psychology

Today I would like to take a look at Conservative and New labour psychology.  These features of life in the UK are fairly alien to any thinking Scots, so as someone with both in my family, and a great deal of extremist at both poles, I will take it upon myself to draw you a sketch of the personalities of the people we seek to persuade to get a real life and possibly also a conscience.

Conservative voters do not like thinking for themselves, and if they do, it invariably involves self-interest and their limited ideas about free market economics.  They have very limited experience of events outwith their control, and simply cannot imagine ever having problems that they cannot either surmount or throw money at. Problems such as these happen to other people, therefore they either do not matter, or do not exist.  Any question of being personally affected is outwith the realms of reality.


The reason for this, is that conservatives believe strongly in approval.  A peculiar kind of approval, from people they admire for reasons of class, good taste or money.  If someone of a different persuasion displays better taste, a disregard for money, and compassion towards others, they are to be dismissed as insane, ‘out of step’ or simply weird.  Ideally such challenges to their version of reality should suffer, so that they can display their superior values.


The worst conservatives are the ones that came from a working class or impoverished background.  These people will actually experience hardship at some point, and beat themselves up because any problem is obviously their fault.  If they are successful in climbing out of difficulties, then any question that anybody else is unable to do so is dismissed, and entire council estates will be used as examples of demotivation, rather than places with scope for development or investment.


The most dangerous conservatives of all are the under-educated liars, such as Jeffrey Archer or Iain Duncan Smith.  These people have something to hide, therefore they take on the most hated roles in the party.  The party elite then give them more and more punishing jobs to carry out, as a sort of sniggering public school system of fagging.


My neighbour, who formerly seemed a reasonable person, cannot stand the sight of a wind turbine, but despite living in an architectural treasure approves of fracking BECAUSE HE CANNOT SEE IT.  He believes this to be OK because the Conservatives told him so, and he expresses great hatred for any one from the SNP BECAUSE HIS POSH FRIENDS LIKE IT.  Here you can see an example of the head-in-the-sand, I-am-OK -so-you-don’t-matter, approval seeking behaviour typical of the Tory. Disabled and poor people do not exist, because he personally does not have to deal with them.  Therefore they do not matter.


New Labour

These people are fairly similar to the above, although they like to be seen to think more carefully, so they become snobbish and reserved due to their superior thinking skills.  The desperate seeking of approval is still there, but it takes a more domineering form.  As corporatist fabians, they believe strongly in copying conservative and American economic policies, because they do not particularly like numbers, so it is far easier to attempt to talk as if they understand the problems, but not do anything about them.  Therefore your objections to funding their essential schemes for, say, creating quangos which employ men in suits that do not actually do anything at all. are examples of your inferiority.  These people are even less trustworthy than conservatives, because you cannot even point out the error of their ways.  It is noteworthy that the electorate do not actually vote them in until the conservatives have actually put some money into the UK so that New Labour can then squander it on pretentious and largely useless policies that do not help anybody.




As you can see, a thinking person would not vote for either of these parties, nor would they seek to place themselves into a position where they delegate the responsibility for their country to self-serving, ignorant and role-playing powermongers who do not really do very much.  Conservatives like to fill their pockets, and those of their friends by contract.  New Labour do much the same thing by creating official bodies that employ their friends to sit and talk about it.  Neither actually does anybody any good.


On a personal note, having said all of this, I am seeing a few ‘ice-cream’ policies from the SNP that I really do not like.  I think it would be a good idea to tread very carefully with some of the softer strategies, as we should all be aware that compromises will have to be made if we are to build a strong fortress for the future.



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The Obesity Malnutrition Paradox

Horrific trip to the nurse today, to get some long overdue blood tests because I was too embarrassed to go and get them done when I was eating normal food.  When you know that you are doing something bad for you, you think about all the unnecessary advice and treatment you would get if you do what you are told.


When I eat normal food, I am tired, bloated, I look awful and I continuously gain weight, not just because I eat too much either.  I remember first noticing this at 9 years old, when I once notably put on 7lb after one plate of macaroni cheese.  It was dismissed as nonsense, of course, and many years later I think back on this and wonder why I was unable to simply throw a tantrum, like everybody else in my family.  Perhaps it is because I sat and watched so many.


When I eat normal food, I am also severely anaemic, and I did wonder whether I was menopausal for some time, because of the heat fluctuations and the weeping over Wolfe.  I am not, for those interested.  I just cannot eat normal food, and for some reason had a lot of poison to dump when I came across Wolfe.  One’s emotions very much dictate one’s health, especially in my case.


So, she asked me after I told her that I had just dropped 40lb in a month, what am I eating? (I dropped 70lb in ten weeks when I first went raw, and the doctor at that time nearly fell off his chair)


“Seaweed, grass, leaves and berries.”


She clearly assumed that I was a bit special and asked me to list them.  I got down five or so, before sighing and telling her that there are over eighty ingredients in supermix.  “I also shoot for ten vegetables a day and eat some fish”  I supplied, just to ensure that she would not put me on the dangerous nutjob list.


I then requested that she take some blood tests, just to hammer the point home to them once they have tested my blood.  She is now testing me for diabetes.  I made enquiries about this numerous times, and was rubbished by my GPs every time.  Now I have reached the age of type 2 diabetes, apparently, so they will decide when and how I become ill in addition to ignoring any actual symptoms, because I am evidently too stupid to simply communicate them.


So, having had many frustrating trips to the medical centre over the years, I patiently explained the paradox of obesity.  You get fat because you are missing something, and you crave whatever you ate that you think contains that something.  Supermix removes this problem, because it is crammed full of nutrition.  Even a multivitamin and mineral supplement will help, but supermix has the added benefit of forcing you to drink a lot of water and eat some raw herbs before you start eating anything resembling normal food.


It is tedious, explaining to someone with a tickbox checklist that you are not in their routine loop and have no expectations of ever being in it.  I once had a consultant sit and express great shock that I was obviously not always lazy, on the grounds of my weight.  I had to explain to her that being fat does not mean that you are stationary and that people are not always the same build.  I showed the six foot lovely my enormous hands.  I am almost a foot smaller than her, and needless to say, her tiny little hands were miniscule in comparison.


Anyway, this is several tiresome years later, and I am feeling and looking a lot better than I did a month ago.  Throughout the continuous binge that was spending time with my friend, I reverted to raw the minute he went home several times.  Hence, I was eating socially and disregarding my health.  Hell is other people.


So, my thought for today on the subject of obesity is – do what works for you – if people are in your way, get rid of them, and get your life back.

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Improve your life right now

Today, I am feeling OK, because I have caught up with most of my boring admin.  I have also isolated two tasks which will move the entire Ina Disguise project on a notch, which I am now concentrating on.  Tatler rang me yesterday, so it looks as if I will be doing that Tatler thing again before Christmas.


So, in my infinite wisdom, I have decided to make a list of things you can do right now to improve your life.

Think of something nice you can do for someone who actually deserves it. This does not mean just anybody – think of someone who has done things for you, without being asked and without thought of benefit to themselves, be that emotional or actual.
Drink more water.  Before every meal, and every time you think about it.
Stop drinking tea and coffee. These drinks are associated with sitting down.  You can easily sit down with a glass of water instead, which will not act as a diuretic or cause you to form sitting down habits.
Find items of clothing and objects which you do not use.  Donate them to charity or sell them on ebay.
Find a free course from Coursera, Udemy, Alison, Udacity or EDX.  Some of these you can complete today.  This will make you feel better about yourself, and open your mind to new things.
Carry black pepper wherever you go.  This helps you process fat, whatever your eating habits.
Reduce the amount of sugar and white flour in your life.  This will stop you drooping after lunch or feeling lazy in the evening.  Best to get rid of it altogether unless you poop immediately after every meal.
Stop assuming that people are better than you are.  Nobody is.  There is no such thing as infallible authority.
Look on Smashwords, free ebooks, Barnes and Noble, or the Apple store for a free book, read and review it.  Authors almost never get a review from a stranger, so they will be very grateful.
If you had a reasonably good experience with a business recently, review them on Google.
Have a look at Hubpages and see if there is a topic you would like to write about. You can make money from this, and it is now a better option than Youtube.
Sign a petition.
Resolve to stop playing ‘free games’ on facebook as it is a waste of your life.
Resolve to eat more vegetables.  You literally cannot get enough.
Make an appointment or complete some neglected paperwork. You will feel better when it is gone.
Spend fifteen minutes thinking about your goals and deciding what you can do in under half an hour to move towards them.
Consider your relationships.  If something is bothering you that you cannot quite put your finger on, think about it carefully.  You are better off without people who slow or wear you down.

After all that, you can do whatever you want.  Go for a walk, indulge in your hobby, complete your day to day chores.

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Scottish Economic Misunderstandings

OK let me first say that the news from Alex Salmond that there is a provisional date of Autumn 2018 for another referendum in Scotland is extremely welcome. I am happy to see that the SNP, unlike the Conservative party, are paying attention to the clock.


There is a rumour going around on Twitter today that some unnamed ‘energy tycoon’ saying that an independent Scotland would need to be fracked.  This is frankly nonsense, spouted by someone who is about as far from independent as you can get.


Fracking affects the water table.  Fracking a country with a long established and unique whisky industry, and limited crop growing potential would be suicidal.  I have yet to see an actual commitment from the SNP against fracking, TTIP or CETA.  Quite the reverse, the emails I receive from the rather corporate looking Alyn Smith indicate that they are firmly on the fence on these issues. There is still time for a Scottish Independence Party to be formed with a proper commitment to the protection of Scotland, and I am wondering whether it is something to be considered.


Why is everybody ignoring the freely available information on this?  Because there is money involved.


Historically speaking, Scotland’s main economic issue has always been one of cashflow.  In fact, the union was only able to be wangled due to one of our poor cashflow periods.  At the moment, there is a deficit, which somehow sits alongside the underspend of half a billion we also hear about.  This is not unusual. If you compare the proportion of our deficit with that of the UK, you can see that we are not doing badly at all.  This deficit is something we would have to focus on if we finally get our country back.


What everybody, on either side seems to be missing is the matter of administration and management.  The whole point of independence, after all, is that in order to get control over our own affairs, we need to split up with our warmongering, heavily spending and messy English boyfriend, who at the moment seems to be arsing about and arguing over who gets what chair, in an effort to distract each other from ACTUALLY DOING ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE.


Given that the Conservatives are likely to have a great deal of individual money tied up in deals which depend on TTIP, TISA and CETA, especially our Prime Minister, we cannot afford to sit and wait to see what these idiots are going to do next.  We need to persuade the golfers, the cricketers, the new-build buying status freaks, who have historically done what they are told whilst voting Tory or New Labour, that it is time to cut Westminster loose.  So, ask yourselves and then ask them:

Do you like living next to England’s nuclear deterrent?  This affects almost 900,000 people, or 80% of the population, depending on how you view the kill zone on the map.
Do you want your water supply polluted, your house values to plummet, and the whisky industry destroyed by fracking?
Do you want to sit and wait to see what England is doing about Brexit, or do you want to make a firm decision about your future?  There is money to be made, whether you believe in Europe, or Scexit.
Are you capable of imagining a country which has access to all the taxes raised here, which could be used to reconstitute ailing areas such as Lanarkshire, Ayrshire and Argyll? If we are prepared to pitch in and get these areas moving into industry and manufacturing again, we have far less to worry about in terms of affordability.
Do you particularly want to store the nuclear waste for Hinkley, since no doubt we will be doing it at some point? They are cutting off support for renewables to force dependency on nuclear power that they have personally invested in, in the case of the Conservatives.
Do you understand that England has already cut off any international routes from Scotland’s ports, and that they have actually been at war with us for decades?
Do you want to witness the slow death of the tourist trade, as England seeks to foster even more bad relations than they are mustering already?
As we can see from the new labelling of food in Tesco, Morrisons and Marks and Spencers, they are now seeking to make the Saltire a symbol of rebellion.  This is classic cultural warfare, and we need to take a firm stance on this behaviour. Exactly the same tactics they used in India.

These points alone should raise some eyebrows, rather than getting you annoyed trying to talk to a stupid person who does not want to understand, because they fear change.  They fear change, because they fear losing their status, in many cases.


The key to the independence debate is accounting – Scotland’s cashflow issue does not mean we need vastly more money to get started on rebuilding our destroyed economy.  It means we have to be a lot smarter, and a lot more generous towards areas which have been starved of investment for decades.  It means we revive the coast, we revive towns like Kilmarnock, we make it extremely attractive for people to come here and invest.  These are economic decisions, not things we are incapable of doing.  We do not need fracking.  We do not want fracking.  We want our place in the world, and we want to stop listening to people who are only filling their own pockets at our expense.

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Cleaning up the trash

Released Mandatory Equality as a free book this week, since it was doing nothing for me as a paid test shot.  I was not applying myself to marketing, as I had the excuse of the ill houseguest to not bother promoting myself.


I have also put a couple of the wonkier prototypes on Ebay, with a view to promoting the Etsy store and getting my name out.  everipedia have made me a verified member and editor, and I have caught up with most of the personal admin most people do not ignore for six months because they are fretting over other people’s well being.


I have come to the conclusion that the Better Person Project, Etsy and the books are currently dead ends.  I have four books on the way, two shorties and two long ones, having lost the manuscripts to computer problems yet again I have reframed the scene lists slightly and am cleaning up the house, hence the Ebay store.


Since my birthday I have dropped about 30lb, because I have taken up supermix again.  Don’t get me wrong, drinking ten portions of fruit and vegetables a day is not particularly good fun, but it does get you out of pain, sorts out your skin and hair and flushes out a lot of poison.  I haven’t started on wangling myself an hour out of the house every day yet, but given that mother seems to have taken up sleeping 22 hours a day, I am hoping this will not be a problem when I am ready to face the world again.


In the meantime, I will be returning to study and getting the mandala and the books out, which should not take terribly long.  I also have plans for a visual novel/game, which was considerably held up by my friend, who apparently cannot work with other people at all.  He pretends he is going to, and it appears to cause him so much stress that he does not do it.  So many projects have not got off the ground because of this that he has turned himself into a timewaster.


The underlying problem with all of this is marketing.  I tend to feel that my products are under development, which is all very well, but you cannot be under development forever.  I think the Mandala has got me to the point I wanted to be at with the Ormus handbags.  It has the old school Persian/Russian theme of Honey I made you an icon, but there is still a great deal of work to do on it,


artwork 024


I haven’t decided on prices for that and the screen yet, but they will be available shortly, as I cannot be bothered having old work hanging around when I need space for new work.


In the meantime the following are up for auction at a very low price, just to rid the shop of things I do not like anymore:




If either of those float your boat, or you want the jacket, which is also still here, drop me a line in the comments below.









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Brexit Media Bullshit

The EU debt Clock Do take a look, and bear in mind the following – The USA alone has more debt than money and gold on the entire planet.


I see the earnest remainers are still out in force, protesting the small minded bigotry that led to the Brexit vote.  It is a wonder that they still choose to live in a country they seem to believe is more than 50 percent racist. How tragic that they may have to stand in a slightly different queue at the airport, or study in the University, within easy reach of their home town, that they planned to study in anyway?


Brexit is a shitty short term vote, I do agree with that.  The idea, unless you actually listened to the campaign – and personally, my belief is that most people didn’t –  was that the payoff would come over the next two decades.


Passporting has caused the banks to rethink their ‘mass exodus’ from London, as the nearest alternative is now thought to be New York, in terms of all round service.  The newspapers are filling columns and maintaining their straggling readership with tales of migrants causing little Englanders’ loss of their way of life (boohoo) and repeating ad infinitum the same misinformation.


Whilst the Conservatives are so far failing to show economic leadership, preferring to sit on the hedge, so to speak, and see if they cannot wangle a compromise, they rather shot themselves in the foot giving people the option in the first place.  Cameron’s referendums will be the stuff of legend in Conservative history for centuries to come, and not in a good way.


I have written several posts on the possible upsides of Brexit, none of them anything to do with migration in either direction.  What the cosy remainers seem to be missing, is the giant spectre of companies bigger than countries.  The EU is designed to assist with a process that does not benefit the individual in the slightest, and after TTIP, will hugely disadvantage countries who wish to protect their interests against said companies.


I am tired of explaining this over and over again, so please feel free to trawl the news section of the website  and find the other articles.  I will post them on my timeline on Twitter, if you feel like checking that.


What is fairly amusing, is this idea that English Brexiteers seem to have about Scotland belonging to England.  They even talk about Project Fear, and their independence without any sense of irony.  Scotland, on the other hand, must stay in its place, because they must get out of Europe and protect their Englishness.


As I said earlier today, it is a question of management.  A good manager makes himself invisible and helps people by giving them what they need to flourish.  A bad manager intervenes, exploits, criticizes, wheedles, subverts because he is nervous about losing his place.  England is far from invisible, and they certainly haven’t had a care in the world about giving Scotland what it needs to flourish.


Modern thinking seems to be that you must feed the sharks, and starve the smaller fish.  YOU WON’T HAVE SHARKS FOR VERY LONG WITHOUT FISH!  How many different ways of describing this do I need to come up with?


Brexit may well have been a shitty short term vote, but long term, it was the only way to protect the children of those whining remainers from a life greatly limited by the interests of fewer and fewer people, with lives which most people will never see, never mind understand.  It was a vote for creativity, individualism, freedom and the protection of our environment from unethical business practise.  For an island, Britain has been incredibly stupid in giving away essential coastal industries and support services.


We seem to employ a veritable army of very stupid journalists in this country.  It is high time the general population realised that they can believe nothing, and unless they are prepared to take action, they should really do something other than whine.


Conservatives – you need to change tack right now. Show some leadership, show some responsibility, let Boris off the leash and get some actual work done.  You need a rival trade deal to TTIP, and you need to protect your own governance before it is too late.  Once Bayer buy Monsanto, TTIP will be back on the table with Merkel, and then all hell will break loose.  A massive agricultural disaster will soon follow, which as an island we could steer well clear of.  Do you really want to live in a chemical wasteland?


Be bold, and go forth and win, for once.  If I do not see some decent management soon, I will get considerably louder.

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Overcoming Empathy

I have spent a great deal of my life worrying about weight.  I have doubled, and at times trebled my bodyweight, depending on how I feel.  Nowadays, I know myself so well that I start buying the sizes before the next physical change.  I tend to realise at the checkout that something is about to change.


Such is the nature of your subconscious mind.  I think it was after being blocked by Wolfe for asking about his charity (I kid you not) that I went and bought the largest size in the shop. I must be punished for having feelings, and for being stupid enough to feel hurt by someone I had no business trying to connect with in the first place.  Not because he imagines himself to be famous, but because he imagines himself to be impervious to other people.  Wolfe has a very specific, and a very careful method of dealing with women in particular, but that is another story.


Recently, I bought two items, one the size I was three weeks ago, and one three sizes smaller, so I knew something was about to change.  My friend, the endless houseguest, had announced that he would bring whatever food he felt like into the house, that I was selfish for wanting to take care of my ailing health, and my very spoilt at the worst of times mother, was to be even more spoilt, on the grounds that this meant that I would devote my time to caring for her and him, rather than me.


This is not the first time this has happened.  I remember a few years ago, an ex boyfriend insisted on buying pizza constantly, even after he had witnessed me losing 130lb.  I knew that if I had even one bite, that it would lead to me putting all that weight back on again, because I know me.  Nevertheless I capitulated, which led to my being 315lb by the time May 2010 rolled around.


Another ex came on the scene, a rigger with a rope obsession (nuff said)  I mistook an old photograph of his on facebook for an example of what he looked like now.  I was horrified.  I have some videos from that period, and Wolfe can testify that I could not even speak properly, I was so ill.  I lost 70lb in ten weeks on a low carb/raw combination, largely because I could not really walk due to tiredness and pain.  After shifting this fluid/fat/host of infections, I was able to walk, and walk I did, daily.  Swimming followed, to repair my twisted core muscles, and the gym for a period after that. In total |I ended up losing about 160lb


Then my terminally ill ex appeared and joined me at the pool.  This was a bad mistake.  From claiming that I was killing him by making him swim, he decided that he must out swim me within a fortnight.  Interminable and rather miserable trips to the pool followed as I watched him cut off the ends of the pool out of the corner of my eye, just so that he could claim to have caught up with my year of laborious self care in a month.


Several months later, and he came back for another go.  This time he insisted that I was depriving my mother of cake, which I was not – I have a system by which she gets everything she wants as long as I do not like the look of it, including cake.  Hence, she is very well indulged, and I never have to worry about eating badly.  That is, of course, until someone very aggressively announces that he will do what he likes in my house, and I can do nothing about it, because to do so involves either physically ejecting him, or bitching about it until he can safely denounce me as a selfish bitch.


As you can see, dealing with someone who claims to be terminally ill is rather complex.  You are supposed to be sympathetic, to the point of self-harm.  Your boundaries are there to be challenged (my mother is the same) and if you happen to be an empath as well, your judgement is clouded even more.  My mother is pathologically selfish, to the point that she watches me cleaning and compliments the vacuum I am pushing, so I am well used to not existing at all.


Unfortunately the consequence of not existing, or should I say agreeing to not exist, is stuffing your face so that you do not talk about it.  You pretend that it does not matter, until nobody ‘sees’ you any more because you are enormous.  Then you eat because you are miserable. Then you stop moving because you don’t want anyone to see you.


My good manners and empathy finally ran out two days before my birthday.  My ‘friend’ waltzed into my bedroom and announced that he was losing weight, and didn’t he look pretty in his new clothes.  I replied that I did not need reminding that he is a titanic prick, and that I would physically remove him from my home if he did not stop what he was doing right now.


“I can’t help it!”  he assumed his victim posture and began to whine.  I know from experience this immediately precedes his episodes of violence, so it was really time for him to go. He has been a problem at times, but when you see nobody, and he likes to pretend that he is very helpful, it is very difficult to just stop with people who are actively trying to damage you.


I did try to take him out with us one more time, but he then tried to start telling me when I could and could not speak, and then it was really time for him to go.  He has since tried to blame me, for the fact that he has deliberately pursued a course of damaging behaviour, been extremely self centred, and completely disregarded my health, all whilst abusing my hospitality.


So, now I have nobody to talk to.  I do not wish to see this person again, I do not wish to see my Tory neighbour again.  I certainly do not want to see my siblings ever again.  I guess I will have to write.


The problem with all this empathy, is that it is an excuse to forget about yourself.  Forgetting about yourself leads to repressed anger, which leads to depression. A recent hashtag about weight problems on Twitter had hours and hours of people who could see nothing good about their weight, and relentless self punishment.


Bear in mind, that nobody is nastier to you than you.  Other people you can get rid of.  You are, however, stuck with you, so try thinking of all the good things.  Once you treat yourself as well as you treat other people, it will become far easier to make positive choices, and far easier to develop strategies to deal with pain other than muffling yourself with food, alcohol or your chosen self abuse.

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