Last Post of the Year

Very busy, started sprinkling the magic dust on Sunrise before adding the very heavy work to it, and am reasonably pleased.  Light is in short supply, which is making working in yellow rather difficult, so I may be putting it away until the weekend.

Otherwise very quiet and working very hard to get as much coursework out of the way as possible, as I would like to spend more time doing things.

Feeling strangely settled about one thing, but you all know how chaotic my adventures are.  All hell could break loose any minute now.

I think the most important thing I have learned from this year is – do not waste time you don’t have on things that don’t matter.

Here is Call me Al, just for fun. No idea why the Belfast Civil Service is so fascinated with my politics.

Happy New Year


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About that IDS knighthood

First of all, I will address Boris:

Hello, I know I am very behind with writing and you don’t really need me at the moment, so the collection is also on hold until I have more space.  You appear to be doing fine however. (I don’t eat chicken anyway.) I hope those hospitals aren’t going to be PFI. Don’t go ripping off that bad Labour policy.

Now, my friends would tell you that, despite their best efforts, and despite my socialist tendencies, I have always been a keen monarchist.  That is to say, in an argument, I will always explain the benefits of monarchy to anyone who questions why holding a family hostage so we can all stare at them would be a good idea.

However, in the event that IDS gets a knighthood, I will be declaring myself a republican, and I would not be surprised if several million people join me.  This is a very serious warning, and it will damn your popularity permanently, so I suggest you sort that one out very quickly indeed as it is likely to increase support for making England independent.



Now that I have issued that, few problems, but Sunrise now has two layers complete, and I think I may do the third layer before I go much further with the framework.  Looking good however. It may actually be the star.

Will be working on the sides of the cushions and finishing the beanbag next, which will take another month or so.

Have started work on a course to up my home based income, and am still working on upping the digital graphics to a point where I can get some serious work out.

Tomorrow is likely to be a bit fraught, but hopefully all will be well.


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Merry Nestmas

Not very, I was weeping profusely earlier because I did not get to work.  That is another story altogether.

I am hoping to return as soon as possible.

So, this year the first six months were of course taken up with Haram Bawbag, the person rather than the artwork.

For those who do not know the story, Bawbag was Bawbag’s favourite word.  It was an affectionate rebuke at the time, because he was behaving extremely badly.

As a celebration of our failed attempt at friendship, partly because Bawbag feels he ought to be responsible for women, and partly because I no longer have time to pander to particularly pointless arguments, I am working on the artwork regardless.  It is also a rendering of the piece that he managed to take unfinished because I could not return to finish it without having to listen to a lot of nonsense.

The tagline for the artwork is ‘Until we can insult each other, we cannot be friends’  and it is a very important and subtle statement about Islam in addition to the more personal depiction of the inside of Bawbag’s head.

My work all relates quite directly to people, so it is effectively Haram, although technically because there is no actual image of a person it could be decided that it is fine. It will be interesting to discuss it with more serious Muslims.  I usually have a fabulous time with scholars, less so with people who have not really thought about their faith.

Anyway Bawbag and I were super close friends, but sadly it was brief because although I believe he actually understood what I was doing, he would have found it easier if I had been a bitter womany type that wanted to bonk him.

I have had, and continue to have a lot of very long term, deep friendships with men, whom I see very rarely but know very well, so I often find that recent acquaintances find my open affection confusing.  As I have previously talked about, a clear conscience means there isn’t a bar to friendship because there isn’t so much of the sexual tension people find problems with.

I do miss him terribly, but I have no doubt that he wouldn’t understand any better now than he did then, so it is safer to avoid him.

Because I have been grieving for my mother throughout the last couple of years, quite dramatically at times although I wasn’t terribly concious of it, I moved swiftly on to Two Grapes, Another Bad Investment, which took an enormous amount of time and money, and was adorable right up until the dude turned out to be a rather weak character.  It was not a particularly deep piece of work, but considering it was a failed project too much time and work.  Worth doing for the learning experience, but not practical.  I will not be doing that again.

I was at full speed on Little Shiva right up until the sewing was complete.  I remember on the last day thinking that I had had enough of it, so I measured my stamina at nine months pretty precisely.  It is a very heavy piece of work and I am not surprised I was tired of manipulating it.  I met a lot of nice people because of Little Shiva, however, and it will be a huge statement once it is complete. I will be renewing my fight with it tomorrow, amongst many other important tasks.

And then I met Grumpy, who pitched a fit of comedy fury and asked me what I was doing, which is a remarkable bit of EQ.  This has led to the opportunity to move Ina into a new phase altogether, and certainly I am impressed by some new tricks displayed with the cushions so far.  There is still a fair old bit of work to do, particularly on the beanbag, but I am ready to start the heavier wool work on them, which is quite exciting.

Grumpy is a very positive person with a big aura, so I am finding this process quite freeing, although very exacting.  Grumpy has promised faithfully not to like everything, which is a wonderful thing to say to an artist.

As a reward, I am considering a crochet course to make him a jumper sometime in the next year or so. Far too busy at the moment.  Grumpy makes up for a lot. He’s not at all empty, which makes a nice change.


So that is 2019, which is unusually intense for me.  2020 will make me look more hardworking, however, as a lot of new stuff will be complete in the early part of the year, and I will be following that by massively expanding Ina’s range of goods.  I am working on some courses at the moment, and once I have sufficient output, I will have to look harder into marketing, since the performance element is off at the moment.

I also have a lot of writing to catch up with once I am artistically tired.  The grieving process has been very intense creatively.

My commiserations to Little Shiva, who appears to be vacationing in Slough.  Boke, as we say in Glasgow. I used to live down the road.




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The Return of Grumpy


In my usual perverse way, I will now hide behind a mountain of sewing until he disappears again.

40 hours of French knots in the last three days, and I am only half finished the first stage of sunlight, which is going to have to be imposed onto a larger piece I think.  Not too worried, as I think it will be a very nice whatevever it ends up.

Have a ton of courses to do, and I am considering taking up teaching online.  It involves people, which is never good, but I think I should consider it.

Busy day ahead, lots of stress.

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Gripping news from the Sewing

Today I was mainly working on Sunrise, which was inspired by one of Grumpy’s jackets.  I am fond of the shade.

A lot of my sewing is actually frame making for the very small bits of carpet that I make by hand.  The frames seem to be going through a fairly elaborate phase right now.  I am not sure if Grumpy has brought out the baroque in me, but I am putting a lot of juice into this.

Anyway, Sunrise was looking pretty unpreposessing the last time Grumpy saw it.  I am not usually fond of yellow, but this is a good exercise.  I do not think it will be of practical use for anything apart from staring at.   I often find that the less thinking and the more sewing, the more interesting the result.

I have ordered the stuffing, and most of the cushions are ready for the carpet magic to happen, even if a bit more stitching will be relevant after the carpet is in place. Then I will worry about the sides once I am happy with the images.

I may get the opportunity on Monday of finding out if Haram Bawbag can be removed from the studio as a very old friend got in touch.  Probably safer with two creatives attempting the near impossible.

Once it is suitable weather, a lot of resin work will recommence, and there are three or four pieces of resin work ready to release so that I can get some workspace back.

I am too scared to ask where Grumpy is, but he is away a lot, so not terribly worried. Concentrating on saying a lot with a few sweeps of sewing.



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The week of Duct tape and Banana

This is Maurizio Cattelan, the artist behind the Duct tape and Banana. The artists of facebook are very confused about this.

It doesn’t matter how much you explain how art works to them, they are still confused.

Damien Hirst and his investment group were very open about what they did.  The price was set by them with a view to later profit, and they all did very well out of it.  Maurizio has done something very similar, although it is later in his career and so it packs a bigger punch.

Maurizio is also famous for a middle finger statue, a gold toilet and a statue of Hitler.  He likes to cultivate a kind of monsieur Hulot version of himself.

I have been trying to rethink the performance element of Ina, since my project was rudely curtailed by Twisty and Little Shiva.  I am thus far stumped, because I cannot discuss my ideas with anybody and in any case since I have now been sewing constantly for over a year, would have to spend several months recovering from sitting too much.

In the meantime, the Grumpy Dude collection is going surprisingly quickly, as work has been slow, and I am cautiously pleased, particularly with Sunset of Discontent, which I am working on at the moment.

Still too cold to proceed with Haram Bawbag, although I am considering artifical means to get it to the next stage.

I have about a weeks worth of work to do sitting in my bedroom, and I imagine this will get done over Christmas.  I am very mean, so it takes me a while to persuade myself to indulge in basic things at times.  These problems are usually solved if I have a visitor as I like to pretend I am civilised.

In the event you are at all interested, I am currently digging the Singh twins, Sandeep Sinde and Philmy Reyes, who is a dear friend on Facebook, you can look any of these up.  I have a very wide interest area and tend to avoid other textile artists as I find some things confusing and unnecessary, and feedback has indicated that other people cannot understand why embroideries of vomit or tangled dust gathering wallhangings would be relevant or interesting.

Found myself watching some rural Indian porn on facebook today, which was tasteful and charming.  My new facebook friend who was watching it was bemused by my interest, however rural Indian facebook porn usually consists of a healthy normal woman doing fairly boring household chores in a see through or dangerously precarious outfit, so it is fascinating.  I see why men dig the sewing now.

Anyway, sorry it has taken a while to update, I am hard at work.  I have a lot to do, because I would like Grumpy feedback before I start on the spring shoes.



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Sad Loser

I cannot imagine how much of a failure I would have to be to spend my time threatening other people.

It takes a special kind of failure to spend all your time frothing at the mouth envying others, especially when your life has been so utterly selfish.

It is also indicative of stupidity.

Unlike the person causing the problem, I have had very limited time to myself.  Despite this, I have a full life.

I pity you.  You are an embarrassment.

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Staring at the ceiling

Last night was not great, so I spent most of the night applying for jobs, as you do when you are a slashie.

Woke up this morning to one of the previous banks attempting to lure me into discussing their problems.  Refused.  I don’t have time to support people repeating second rate information in an effort to maintain a hierarchy that does not exist as long as I do not agree to it.  If the banks employed more people like me and less people like some of the outstandingly dull and selfish people I have met over the last couple of years, the 2008 crash would not have happened.

I did point this out at the time.  Men who are aware that they are employed purely for their ability to wear suits and smirk tend to do business with other talentless smirkers.  Nobody asks any questions, because nobody wants to have any actual knowledge in case it poisons them in some way.

I often think I would have been better off in the 1950s, when companies were actually looking to improve and still had some form of ethics.  Now they seem obsessed with supporting the needs of people who regard themselves and their mortgages way above any requirements of customers, so I am no use to them whatsoever.

This is not the first time a company I have clashed with has got back in touch a couple of weeks later to say, yes, actually you are right.  I suppose I should be happy about that.  Reality is I’m not that interested in being right.  I’m interested in people getting it right, and that does not pay well.

Also what seems to have been lost in the quest for economic growth is the idea that you are only as good as your last deal.  Companies often feel very complacent when they see their figures, and they do not understand that tarnishing is a gradual process.  When you call them out on it, they are often very surprised and see you as a ‘lone sniper.’

One very glossy financial services company that Little Shiva and I are familiar with are a case in point.  I talked to them  at various levels.  Whilst I rather liked the studiousness with which they attempted to ignore me, during this time at the very top end of the business no fewer than 28 senior members of staff were terminated within a few weeks of our episode.  Little Shiva is welcome to look up the articles relating to it.

Anyway, this doesn’t help me much.  I am tired.  I’m tired of being lonely, I’m tired of nobody understanding anything, and I am really tired of stupid nasty people.

If there is a company out there that would support a manager that empowers their staff, seeks to improve business processes and actually engages people, I would like to work for you please. The research project that my working life has become is no longer on a sufficient learning trajectory to make it worthwhile.  The answer seems to be that we need fewer wankers and more workers.


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Nice to see you

All of you, bizarre that you all chose to drop in to see a post about a dude walking past my car.

For clarification purposes, there is no romance going on, Grumpy Dude and I communicate a bit like angry meerkats. We have a weird emotional but not at all romantic thing that involves a lot of appreciation from a distance.

For the benefit of one of my readers, I would appreciate it if you would check in on Bawbag.  I am a bit worried about him, but there is no point in my attempting any input and there is no need to involve me whatsoever. It is your issue, not mine.

Otherwise, hard at work again, although I am very much looking forward to a couple of days off this week to push things forward on Little Shiva and the new stuff.  Hoping to get to the final stages of Haram Bawbag and get the windows off the ground this week.

It would be nice if I could get some of the stuff moved on whilst I complete the rest.  It is looking like another month or three for the first stages of the cushions. The shoes aren’t even started yet, beyond my perfecting a superfast seamless base, which was quite a task.

If anyone can think of a subtle way of my ascertaining Grumpy Dude’s shoe size without him noticing, I would be very grateful.




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