Vaxxed- banning is good promotion

Vaxxed – caveats

I have no children, since my life has not followed a path providing the necessary capital. The only person I would have seriously considered children with does not want to know me, even if he did I am not in a position to drop everything and get knocked up.
I do not have any interest in your choices in regard to vaccination, so there is no point in sending vitriolic bullshit in regard to what I will be saying about this topic.
I am not particularly anti-science, although I do have a positive attitude to alternative health as a result of poor response from doctors, who I have lost a measure of respect for over the years of dealing with my own health and the health of others.
Doctors at first response level do a lot of administration and are presented with guidelines, which many are inclined to follow slavishly, just like everybody else.

Today, in a decision making reversal lasting all of 20 or so hours, Robert de Niro announced that he would not be showing Vaxxed at the Tribeca film festival.  That is the decision he has come to, and I am sure there will be continuous heated debate as to what has caused his sudden reversal in attitude. I am not particularly interested in engaging in that either.

Here is what my experience of the last few years has taught me.

The public are superstitious.  They appear to believe that the word science conveys some sort of magic in terms of rightness and wrongness.  One website I visited prior to writing this announced that


This itself, is an unscientific and incorrect premise.

I hate to be the one pointing this out, but science is much like statistics.  Science requires funding.  The payer of the piper calls the tune in terms of the parts of the research released, which reflects the bill payer.  To view examples of this, one must simply bring to mind the number of conflicting pieces of advice about diet that are published every day, on a variety of websites.  As I said many years ago, you could easily argue that cream cakes were superfood if you listed the nutritional properties.

Andrew Wakefield’s life has been ruined by his attempts to alert people to a topic he clearly believes in.  He is still engaged in legal wrangling with the BMJ, and he is still trying to tell people that MMR is not a good vaccine.  I am not sure what people imagine his motives for doing this would be, other than clearing a name which has already been destroyed.  Would he not be better to quietly get on with an alternative life and save himself the time and money?  Calling him a con-man merely makes the opposition’s case even weaker, since they are clearly threatened by his information.

I, for one, will be watching Vaxxed, which has received some welcome publicity from this move by Tribeca.  I want to hear what Andrew Wakefield has to say.  They also trashed his name here in the UK.  If you had any knowledge of how medical hierarchies and medical sales work, you would watch it too. If you had any understanding of how whistleblowers are dismissed, you would also want to hear what he has to say.

I am not sure why the public would be so ready to believe that voodoo magic science, paid for by governments and organisations which are themselves unduly influenced by sharp suits and corporate money,  would prove that a highly trained individual would blacken his own name to release information to them. From the trailer, I see a man showing me statistical analysis.  Having worked with statistics, I can tell you that you can argue about what they show for several years, or you can decide what line you wish to take in an argument. It is all about the presentation.

This is yet another example of what you have to look forward to as an unfree citizen of a corporate state.  The education system, social networks, media and the advertising that you buy into every day will tell you what and how to think.  You will become lazy, like these people who think science is magic, and you will be only too happy to accept a scapegoat rather than think for yourself.

It is really up to you what you choose to believe, but the fact that so many people are so vicious about their superstitions in regard to information which is bought, lobbied and paid for, tells me that the world has a bleak future.  Thank goodness I have no children to worry about.  The minute any doubt whatsoever was expressed about MMR, they should have returned to separate vaccines until the doubt was cleared up.  Instead they destroyed one man, who is still trying to show you why he doubted in the first place.


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Cult of Solidarity

I was referred to as a ‘whack job’ by an Aberdonian Labourite, some years ago, for stating economic facts in the course of a discussion on facebook.  There were some suggestions that people like me should be killed, since I had some criticisms of policy at that time.  My friend, who was ill, was told that people like him should not recover, not because of anything he said, but because I had stated my opinion.

These supporters were not particularly rich, nor particularly poor.  Allegedly they had some education, and some income.  They just objected to a relatively polite, relatively eloquent and pretty forthright person telling them that they had an alternative view.

I see the same tendencies with some SNP supporters.  Consumed by hatred of the Conservatives and their anti-Scottish policies, they revert to hivemind sources of mutual agreement, and find it incredibly difficult to discuss anything that does not toe the party line, or more importantly that might not toe the party line.  This is exactly the same problem which has killed the Labour Party in Scotland.  Beware of blind support, it ultimately kills your ability to function flexibly.

The SNP is actually one of the most democratic parties in the UK.  There is no reason why people cannot change their mind about individual issues, particularly as the whole point is to represent the nation.  This attitude that we must stand in bland solidarity, avoiding the discussion of the most simple topic appears to be some sort of hangover from people’s former political and/or religious affiliations.

We are not in the dark ages, nobody tells you how to vote, nobody tells you what to think, and if somebody is more expressive than you are, it does not mean that they are a threat to you.  If somebody disagrees with you, you choose whether to discuss your ideas with them.  Surely even the most hardened former tory, former socialist or fan of clan-baiting Scottish history can understand that.

As I have pointed out before, the SNP have been incredibly successful at having a foot in both political camps in Scotland.  Depending on who you talk to, SNP supporters veer between being referred to as ‘tartan tories’ and as hard left socialists.  There are people of many ilks in the SNP.  As I have pointed out before, the SNP are an aggregate of free political thinkers, people who would like to have some administrative control of their own destiny, and anybody who has some pride, optimism and faith that Scotland is actually awash with talented people who are well capable of moving their country forward without the financial drain that is London and the nuclear burden weighing on the Scottish purse.

Apparently, even my brief tweets imply that I am a sort of enemy.  As I write this, two people have indicated that they suspect that I am not one of them.  Well, no, I was brought up to think and say what I think, not hide behind a curtain formed by other people with a limited understanding of what it means to have ideas of your very own.

As an SNP member, I am not active as a result.  This seems to me to be something that could be addressed for the benefit of new political talent, particularly amongst the younger generation.  The whole point is that people should have a voice, not sit in solidarity, frightened to question anything or speak.

I am not the only person taking a similar view. We are with you, but we certainly won’t be amongst you anytime soon.

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Confrontation, confidence and class

Today’s burning topic is confrontation.  Much of your life is determined by your ability to tolerate confrontation, both in creating and receiving ‘turning points.’ Confrontation sometimes takes the form of a discussion, argument or all out war.  Confrontation and the ability to communicate determines whether people live or die.  Confrontation is the difference between moving on with your life, and remaining in the same stuck position for years.  I am a bit of a fan of confrontation, although I am just as inclined to avoid it as too stressful as pursue it for the purpose  of moving on.

Your ability to tolerate confrontation is determined by a variety of things:  your level of confidence, your level of communication skills, your level of emotional stability, your ability to tolerate stress in the form of your adrenaline levels.  I was once told that burglars are able to take up stealing from houses because of their low adrenaline levels, which I thought was fascinating.  I am far to anxious to do any such thing, which has hampered my progress since my twenties due to trauma. Before my mid twenties, I led a team of several people.  After this, I was not given much of a chance, and have come to consider myself less capable as a result.

Having said this, the ability to confront is not necessarily a quality that successful people have.  Sometimes they are successful because they are incredibly skilled at avoiding it.  When put on the spot, however, these people are the first to crumble.  I cannot tell you how amusing it is, when you discover that your oh-so-cool friend is not very cool at all when presented with unexpected information or a new situation.

Chefs often have very intense confrontations, which actually makes for a very healthy working environment.  Problems are dealt with under pressure rather than festering, as they often do in offices. The upside of this is that problems with the working environment are solved extremely quickly. Many chefs retire into the army, which is simply a more controlled environment of disciplined confrontation.

National confrontations often take the form of war.  The UK has made great use of diplomacy to avoid this, whilst making a living out of wars elsewhere.  The British machine has worked very well in the past, but recently the system has been allowed to flounder, by people who do not understand history, who do not want to be reminded that the survival of all depends on fairness, and who thrive on a subtly corrupt system of favours and benefits for a select few.

In the future, we will see more legal, rather than political, diplomatic or military confrontations, since the corporations will slug it out using the money they have extracted from populations too stupid to prevent the inevitable.  In the meantime, people will earn less than ever before, for jobs that were once considered skilled.

Religious confrontations, tolerances of variations in interpretation, and social control enabled by division and the imposition of changes in doctrine, are often the most directly bloody of the lot.  Any study of religious history will tell you that life is extremely cheap when it comes to religion.  As I have previously mentioned, religions have often historically formed to improve the performance of armies, as well as providing pastoral services, exchanging information across national boundaries and exerting social influence via regular meetings.  There is nothing new under the sun, and the more intelligent reader should pursue a wide knowledge of religious history to understand the forces at work, and their relationship with the ultimate worship of money. There is ultimately no such thing as a benevolent religion, because religions seek to restrict behaviour and impose shared values where there are none.

A wise person seeks to control their own anger, and so improve their ability to tolerate confrontation, because this is the difference between fitness to rule, and a lack of fitness to succeed at a much lower level.  The same can be said for countries who seek to impose their values on others via military intervention. All empires wax and wane for this reason.

The same can also be said for religions which preach intolerance and a hatred for others.  A mature religion has learned the importance of remaining benign to preserve the sanctity of life. If you are asked to die for your religion, then there is a significant problem.

Beware of people, countries and religions declaring themselves perfect, pure or true, because they have lost their sense of relativity to others, including you.  The only result in all of those cases is ultimately death.



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Asad Shah and The Muslim Reformation

This man was killed a few minutes walk from my house yesterday. His attacker has been arrested, and the police have released only the information that they killed him for  ‘religious reasons.’
This final video was made two days ago in response to the attacks in Brussels.  Asad Shah, a recently declared prophet originally born into the Ahmadiyya sect,  committed the sin of proclaiming that there is a technical error in the way Islam is being interpreted, and that self purification and the love of mankind is the real core of Islam. Even his last posting on facebook was to wish Christians a Happy Easter.
If you watch the video, and see how his customers respond to him, you can see an example of why people like Donald Trump need to be stopped, and those dreadful libtards need to take action to protect a great many Muslims who have a far greater reason than you or I to fear people like ISIS and the young, angry, confused and hurt men who commit acts of murder and terrorism on behalf of their probably more charismatic friends and Imams.
The Catholic/Protestant reformation was a bloody affair which was really about politics, education and money.  The Muslim reformation is as much about enforcing shared moral values on geographical landmass in an effort to control and politically suppress populations as about threatening everybody else.  Intervening in the form of destroying families and property to enable the banks and corporations to take advantage of this religious phase is doing more to promote terrorism and acts of violence than prevent them.
In turn, acts of terrorism such as Brussels and Paris do more to promote racism, allow support for the invasion of your privacy, allow increases in security to further erode your liberty, and assist the very people who seek to repress free speech, freedom and opportunity for the general population.  The far right movements and simplistic boorishness of people like Farage and Trump are hugely benefitting from new audiences for their organ grinding.
Bear in mind, before you squeal about your commitment to eradicating the enemies of democracy, that you are confusing the actors in our current situation with the directors.  The fools who commit the acts of terror, are not the people who actually cause them.  In the meantime, the big picture is that there are as many, if not more Muslims at risk from other Muslims, as there are people of other faiths. Those dreadful refugees have something to run from.
Asad Shah may not have been the most entertaining or clear speaker in the world, but he was much loved in his local community, always had time for anyone who came into his shop, and wished for the world to be a peaceful place where people abided by their conscience and recognised the beauty of simple daily life.  As such, I think we can say he was a prophet, and has died the death of a true martyr.
As such, by his own faith, he will be blessed, unlike the perpetrator of the crime.

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Zoella and David Wolfe

Today’s entertaining sideswipe is all about marketing.

Zoella’s fans are very upset because the Sun decided that 3 inches of her very sensible pants apparently indicates that she is changing her image to be a bit raunchier.  Whoever dreamed this up at the Sun, was not really considering that they are irritating many, many teenagers who love Zoella’s message of :

Staying in!
Feeling anxious!
Looking pretty!
Playing with clothes!
Putting on makeup!
Making lots of money!
Having a boyfriend!

I was called a bitch within seconds of their protests trending, simply for mentioning that it was free marketing, so feelings are running high on this extremely important issue. 3 inches of pants in a newspaper for thick people have apparently become a women’s rights issue.  All this is, of course, excellent publicity for Team Zoe, and so I expect that she will make even more money.  Good for her, if only we could all pull off that level of devotion to superficiality.

I of course, am doomed, due to my persistent interest in varied and original content.  One of my first inner battles in relation to David Wolfe was why I had found myself to be quite so fascinated.  I could not understand why the books were written the way they are, why I was drawn to listening, why I was concerned about how he was actually feeling versus how he presents himself.

Possibly because of the similarities in facial structure between him and I, I see a whole lot more than he would like when I watch him, which is one of the many reasons I avoid watching him.  It feels a bit like one of those embarrassing dreams where you are caught naked.  At length I broke down the reasons why I found my holistic view of David and his methods interesting into the following:

Popularity is a whole lot more important than depth
Depth should be concealed in a brightly coloured package
Presentation can be personalised using subtle, actually low denomination cues
Complex problems should be presented alongside accessible solutions
Whimsy is a useful tool to engage the listener
Carelessness or anxiety is a good method of conveying warmth
Superficiality is comforting and easy to understand for the listener
If you are losing the listener, lower the bar of the content

I have listened to some little known videos, I believe one of our first brief conversations was me complimenting him on a university lecture he had done, which was far more complex than the videos which gain more hits. (this was a very, very long time ago, David)

As you can imagine, after this, I got quite a shock when I read one of the books.  It took some time before I understood why the books are the way they are.  They are a badge, a tool, and a simple way of leaving a calling card to the purchaser.  They simply aren’t a priority.  David wants you to want to see David and  buy products, not buy a mere book.

All of this is very complex and subtle marketing, which he does very well.  I have never seen someone move faster than he does on social media, on the rare occasions that he has, wittingly or unwittingly, allowed me to watch what he does to get support for events. He puts an incredible amount of work and time into fairly mind numbing tasks, and it pays off, which considering the number of marketing tricks he does not apply, is impressive.

So, at length I thought, why would I take seven years over writing a book which I know neither he, nor the public will read due to its weighty content?  There are far more effective ways of getting a message out to a far larger number of people.  My strategy is very slow, but it should ultimately pay off.  My problem is the constant need to remind myself of the bottom line in terms of time.  There just isn’t enough of it, and I do not plan to throw money at the problem.

What can we learn from David and Zoella?  KISS.  Keep it simple, stupid.  Start with a simple concept, employ your creative skills to work on inventive ways of delivering and promoting that concept.  Do not complicate the concept. Do not imbue the concept with too much complexity.  Show warmth.  Show frailty.  Be appealing, even in the face of opposition and never, never engage in discussion if you can avoid it.  That might imply that you are more knowledgeable or ‘better’ than the listener, and this will not sell products.  Impart your enthusiasm, but do not impart your expertise.  There is safety, and money, in superficiality, and if you are smart, you will conceal your own particular brand of genius within it.

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It’s good to be unpopular

It’s good to be unpopular

Sometimes, it is good to be unpopular.  I am growing into it.

Anyone who has done a quick post trawl knows that I look after my mother, who has dementia.  I also took care of my father when he had it, and she was trying to be responsible, and not really managing it. I have restored a large house, and maintained the grounds. I have done this at the expense of my career, family life and personal freedom.  There are people in a state of slavery that have more freedom than I do.

My family, in response, who were brought up, if you could call it up, when my parents were in a different life phase, fear that there is some financial implication of my doing this, and have repeatedly attacked me, legally, medically, and in terms of trashing my name at every opportunity. They have also attempted to take my mother’s money and blamed my terrible behaviour for this.  My terrible behaviour consisting of taking care of their parents and their inheritance whilst they do nothing, and avoiding them as they repeatedly refused to help and attacked me.

You would think that at some point in twenty years, perhaps during the years when I spent a considerable portion of my day weeping whilst I looked after everything, that my mother would perhaps show some support of my taking care of everything.  Not so.  When she is with me, she will either tell me that I should not say anything, or find a way to blame me for her other children’s behaviour.  When she is with them, she complains about me.  I am not sure why people like my mother have children when they, and I quote “do not see why they should parent adult children, and have declared themselves retired from parenting.”

As far as I am aware, my mother had retired from parenting before she had me.  If the first three children are an example of parented children, and I am an example of a non- parented person, this does not say much for a parent who should be instilling compassion, helpfulness, self-worth and open-mindedness in their offspring. The first three wasted no time in announcing that they had no intention of being helpful, either in person or in terms of support with issues such as repairs, prior to my father becoming ill.  I tried many times to call them and ask for their help in imparting information to their parents, to be told that as I had no rights, I should not even bother telling them.

Is a role-playing sense of entitlement the only thing you should take away from your experience of being in a family?  Would you allow your at times unwittingly cruel parent to be placed into very expensive care at the expense of their health?  Especially when the alternative is that your life is taken away.  I have not been out for an evening from this house since 2003.

I have little to no prospect of using my education, making the career that I worked extremely hard for, having a family, building up a pension, or restoring my personal life to any semblance of normality.  I am unable to access third party help, because my eldest sister, in particular would see this as an opportunity to drag my name through the mud as she has done in the past.  My friends have long since become fed up with doing the chores along with me to see me at all.  The only people I see are my mother’s POA and tradesmen or people at her medical appointments.  There are times when I cannot even attend my own appointments, as she would be left alone too long.  Is anyone really worth this level of devotion, especially when she cannot spit out five words “you are putting my care at risk”  to stop her own children from attacking you on the basis of their own dishonesty?

I have had to make this decision many times over the years.  I have been extremely ill twice, during which she informed me that I could take a break whenever I want, simultaneously refusing to stay with one of the others or allow me any time off to recover.  As a result I have often wondered if her intention is for me to die, and I am really just here to make sure her idle children get as much money as possible.

Basically it is a question of how much stress you can handle.  Having watched my father’s unpleasant end in a hospice, where it was decided within days that he was difficult and needed to be drugged, I am not in a hurry to repeat the experience with my mother.  My family’s repeated attacks have told me a lot about supposedly respectable people, and the only plus in this situation has been having time to pursue creative projects.  I have learned a lot, but am yet to monetise this creation, so I keep learning.  This keeps my mind relatively flexible, but my physical health is now suffering to quite an extent.

I am quite sure that my mother’s POA, a neighbour and friend I was introduced to years ago when on another local project, is quite sick and tired of my constant anxiety in relation to the family, and I do not feel great about keeping him informed of the activities of my frankly scummy family.  He has done what he can for me, and anything else, I guess is probably superfluous. What bothers me, is that I now get the impression that sticking up for myself is frowned upon from every angle.

My mother does not help, none of the supposedly supportive third parties can help, he cannot help.  I am supposed to sit here, taking care of parental family health and business, with the expectation of being attacked by the beneficiaries.  This situation makes no sense to me.  I have lost count of the number of days I have lost to anxiety and worry.  The house has never looked better, but with a property this size, you always have a list of things to do. When my life is draining away, for the benefit of others, you would think that somebody somewhere would appreciate that I have to stick up for myself on the basis that nobody else is going to do it, even over things as simple as people turning up when they say they are going to.

I sat for years, miserable and saying nothing.  It did not stop the attacks.  Recently, I have taken to writing letters when issues have to be addressed, so that nobody can lie about what I have said.  Even this is risky, since the sisters are in a state of sufficient lunacy that my saying, for example, that it is not OK to make false police reports is evidence that there is something wrong with me rather than them.  This on the basis of them having more credit cards or property than I do.  At one point, my family even debated why I should be provided with somewhere to live whilst taking care of their parents. (even my mother had to have this explained to her several times before deciding that yes I could have somewhere to live)

It took a long time to accept that I was not the problem.  I basically did most of the work before I woke up and realised that the loudest and craziest complainants had not devoted a single day to the family, whilst I have had to give up everything.  I find it incredible, when there are so many people in a similar position, that there is nobody to protect the carer.  One care home owner told me that if she had a pound for every carer being attacked by their own family, she would not have to run a carehome.

So, in the event that everybody is claiming that you are a problem, even when they do not know you, or help you in any way, it is not necessarily because you genuinely are a problem.  It is because they are inadequate, selfish and are trying very hard to defend themselves by attacking you.  It is up to you whether you take the sensible route of getting as far away as possible, or put yourself through the trial of strength required to decide that no, you are worth more than money, that you are able to tolerate more than you thought you would ever have to, and that stupidity comes in many forms.  You are perfectly entitled to defend yourself, and perfectly entitled to opt out of toxic relationships, no matter who they are with, and just because society says that parents, for example, are supposed to protect and instill moral values into their children, it does not mean that parents are infallible or capable of actually doing the job.

Basically you cannot depend on anyone. It is up to you how you respond.  You can be as shitty as they are, or you can be the better person.





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So you want to make a game?

As a developer, I would not call myself highly experienced, but here is my take on building games.

Longer term readers will recall that I made a fairly extensive game in Second Life just after my father died.  My father was a fan of Patrick McGoohan’s Prisoner, and as I knew he was dying, just when some cheeky swine was attempting to remake/ruin his legacy, I decided to make a tribute island for him in Second Life.  As it turned out, he actually visited it with his grandchildren, so the creative exercise was worthwhile.  The letter from the family was sufficient for me to make a full working model of the entire series, with the help of a couple of more computer savvy friends doing the scripting.

It took quite a while just to psych myself into thinking in a more linear, and yet less sequential, way to make this happen.  My friends patiently waited for me to figure out that I had to drop the idea of story and concentrate on objects and what they do, and how they move you on within a game context.

So, for your first game I would advise that you do not do it alone, although at times it will feel that you are waiting forever for something very minor.  The more people you can involve the better, particularly in the later stages when you need them to test your idea without bias.  Some people who get involved will just appear to be sticking spokes in your wheels, but even this input is useful.

Knowledge of the following  is desirable:

The games market – do not waste time following every blog and trend.  It is far easier to look at the shops and reviews to see what people actually enjoy playing, and what demographic goes for what game.

Artwork –  it is helpful to have more than one person on 2d artwork, and some experience of machinima, as well as photoshop; and texturemaking is useful. Do not pick a perfectionist to work with until you are bored with fiddling with your game, as they will just hold you up and waste your time. Spend some time in Second Life and practise machinima and building to get better at this yourself. It is amazing what you can do just messing about.

3d modelling – A thorough knowledge of the marketplace before you start is helpful.  I recommend you spend some time in Second Life or similar, as there are alternatives to the mainstream programmes that are far easier to use and cheaper.  Anyone who has spent any significant time with Blender will agree that there are much more pleasurable ways to die.

Game engines – Get to know more than one, so that you have some options.  Take careful note of what they expect in the way of recompense’licensing. Look at the games job sites to see what skills are most marketable before you decide which one to learn. Again, spend some time in Second Life, since many of the skills you can learn from classes in there will stand you in extremely good stead with Unity in terms of building, texturing etc.

Scripting and Coding – If you have a friend that is good at this, bear in mind that they need very precise information to give you what you want.  You need to list your requirements, not necessarily in order, and then wait for them to figure out how to make it happen.  Scripters are amazing, magical people.

Game structure and dynamics – You will get better at this the more games you make.  It is a bit like making films.  Do not worry terribly much about your first ten.  It is more important that you get something done, so that you know what you want the next time.

Animation – there are many ways to go about this, I am mediocre at best, so I will refrain from comment at this time.

Shaders and lighting – considered by many to be the difference between an amateur and professionally made game.

Music – a handy composer is always helpful

I have a very specific idea of how the game I am planning is going to work, but I plan to do it all myself this time, so it will take a while to acquire the relevant skills.

In the meantime, here is my early coding lesson for you to amuse yourself with.

Futile tribute to David Wolfe  Caution – does not work in Chrome

The latter build in Second life

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