On Being Married

Right, this is a general post, it is not directed at anybody in particular, so make no assumptions.

I just had the most irritating conversation with my friend in Eastern Europe, who has now apparently reached the age at which she feels complacent and very happy that she tied herself to a dude.

My mother and neighbour were a bit like this, as if selling yourself to one guy is somehow better than having more transient relationships. Everyone else becomes a hideous monster, even when their husband hits on someone else, it is someone else’s fault.

This is not the case.  Although you do seem to march faster towards dementia, you do not become a child by getting married.  Your responsibilities are just that.  If you aren’t up to them your marriage fails.

This would seem to be a very simple idea, but many of the people I have come across since my mother died are quite stupid.

The first sign of this was Little Shiva’s wife, who I tactfully avoided telling that he had not even mentioned her.  She was incredibly rude, nasty and seemed to think she was talking to a child.  In turn, I was patient and very protective of Little Shiva, despite him being an immature, inconsistent, nervous wreck who seems to have problems getting her attention to this day.

In any case, arranged marriages do tend to work, so I am sure they were very carefully matched as both being of some intelligence, but lacking in compassion, so here’s hoping that their children all turn out to be horrible people too.

If this is how boring marriage is, that you waste your mental resources on fighting off people who don’t really care if you exist and are just trying to get through their own lives, then you need counselling.

Go and do that and try to remember that you at least tried to marry an adult.

Boris, if you are done with that tiresome girl, feel free to mail me. This stuff is getting extremely boring. Let’s have fun with politics instead.


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