Effects of Trauma

It is most interesting seeing the effects of trauma first hand.

I am currently working with someone else who was put off the last banking project, and she is completely unaware that she has been replaced for no reason other than money squandering.

She remembers it as a fantastic place, with great money – she was clearly on the winning team at one point, as she actually got some overtime, and she also got some actual training at some point.  It is fascinating to see from this just how much trauma I experienced from that episode.

I do not know if she was on the same shift, I dimly recognise her, but I think I probably only saw her on her overtime days, which is probably why she is a) happy because she would have been getting an outrageous sum per day on those days and b) not traumatised because she had no extensive experience of the Staring Brats.

Needless to say, I do not wish to discuss it with her, which is going to be awkward as apparently we are all to be on the same team for the forseeable future.

Trauma colors everything.  You remember different things than when you are left alone.

It is not okay to have somebody staring at you for 12 hours at a time, keeping control of your wages although he is not your team leader, and poisoning every breath you take because he just cannot manage a conversation.

It is not okay to put a person like that in charge of people. I was not the only person he did this to. In fact my non-friend, that didn’t bother to let me know the story with Staring Brat 2  had to be pep talked into not walking out more than once because she was getting similar treatment in terms of the staring.

Anyway, this chick that I’m working with has no idea that her contract has just been terminated for no reason other than some poor management strategy that involves bleeding a major financial institution for as much money as possible for the next year or so.  In fact they have just had their contract lengthened, so presumably there is some reason that they don’t like having money.

Most interesting, and a lesson in letting go of trauma as fast as you can, because it literally makes you physically ill.

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