I was confined to the house for several years, not only because my parents needed me, but because the family dysfunction was so aggressive that had I had any kind of normal life, everybody, including my parents would have been at risk from my sisters.

My brother was too selfish to notice, either that my parents might have liked to actually see their grandchildren, or that anything my sisters would do would be upsetting in any way.

In fact, his answer to both problems was to join in and validate their behaviour.  This is why absent children are nasty to carers – it is far easier to hate the person doing all the work than offer them any help of any kind.  It removes any need for acknowledgement of anything they would have had to give up, or any work that they are doing and you are not.  This means you are STILL ENTITLED, and negates any requirement for actually making a contribution of any kind.

During the time I was confined to the house, the only people I saw were my procession of exs, who would drop in when they felt like it.  I usually got them to assist in some job or other that required help – since I would not of course be getting any help from the scum family, despite their grubby little hands.  They were too busy rubbing them.

This is what respectable people do.  They bitch about anybody that actually does any work, and then they take anything they have from them, even when they have very effectively prevented them from having anything approaching a normal life.

At one point I was interviewed by the police to find out if I was actually in conditions of Modern Slavery, so intense was the delusion of one of my charmless relatives.

Anyway, since this post is about racism, I am sure my charming sisters, in particular, are horrified by the events surrounding Little Shiva. They will be delighted to learn that I am now spending some quality time with a rather sweet and equally shocked Muslim. He had assumed that I would write him off as a racist and not want to speak to him.

My exs will of course also be horrified.  I had to listen to many, many hours of vile ranting about our immigrant population from at least three exs.  What was fascinating to me, as a person who was at the time employed to deal with immigrant populations in terms of extracting information, was the astonishing lack of awareness that meant they did not seem to notice that they were saying these things to someone with no issues at all about race. I think they thought it would rub off eventually.  It clearly didn’t.

After the first hundred hours or so of listening to it, I was astonished to find myself questioning what was meant by the bile.  On face value, racism is abhorrent, of course, but the ranting conceals fear. Fear of the loss of status, fear of the loss of territory, fear of the unknown.  You cannot blame people, particularly people who have suffered loss, for being tribal.

You can however get annoyed with the colour related elements, but I think since a lot of newer immigrants to Scotland are actually Eastern European and therefore white, the colour-based racism has actually dissipated in favour of the fear of overcrowding and being sold somebody’s child.  Some of the most eager proponents of curbing immigration that I have interviewed are actually Hindu and Muslim.  They understand, apparently a whole lot better than the Scots do, that borders are relevant and precious.  Hindus in particular are often very right wing and not at all worried about saying so.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, racism has been studied quite extensively and has common elements which should be grasped before making assumptions that you ‘just hate’ somebody.  I am sure I am not the only person that finds they have more in common with other nations than I do with the English as a general rule.  This is, of course, partially due to the artificially generated tension that our lovely country likes to employ to keep the jocks in their place, but it is an odd concept.

Personally, when I lived in England, I found ignoring them helpful.

What you can get most irritated about is the lack of concern for the person next to you and the willingness to cause harm.  That is nothing to do with race, and everything to do with a mean spirit and grasping nature.  That is more likely to get you killed than anything to do with race.

Dear Director of Blank,

I contacted customer services this week to find out how to have my website blocked from your servers. I require either someone who takes misuse of Blank resources seriously, or I simply require the address of IT Services so that I may ask them to do it. It takes seconds for IT to do this, and means that Blank staff will no longer be able to access my site at work.

I made this request as earlier this year, I was terminated from a contract for sending a member of staff an instant message offering them a book about stress. I was told that this was inappropriate use of Blank resources.  This despite the same staff member circulating my website amongst your staff for no apparent reason that I can fathom against my wishes.

As the individual concerned still works at Blank, I am sure he would be more comfortable in the knowledge that staff were not staring at my website, and since evidently he is acceptable, and I am not, to the point that the contract company has permanently damaged my record and any prospective career has been completely destroyed, surely it would be better to eradicate all trace of me from the workplace? I have applied for work at Blank a number of times now, and apparently I will never be able to return thanks to this incident.

Imagine my surprise on contacting customer services to be told by Blankette that she was unable to even consider contacting the relevant person as staff are entitled to do what they like with computers in  their ‘down time,’ (why would they be having down time at work?) and that any concerns I have are a ‘civil matter.’  She clearly does not know what she is saying.  In what way is simply doing as I ask a civil matter?  It has nothing to do with either of us.  I just want my website free of stupid people and irrelevant hits, and I would prefer Little Shiva not to have a nervous breakdown because of his own rubbish.

Not only am I to lose my income and any prospects with Blank for sending an instant message, I cannot even have any consideration in terms of ensuring that staff at Blank are unable to pester me or the person that got me fired whilst they are supposed to be working for Blank.

I strongly suspect that nobody actually has any rules at Blank, and that you simply make it up as you go along according to the laziest, stupidest and most irritating option. That is not good business, now is it?

Ina

Right, I don’t know whether you have given your wife your old phone, but her imagination appears to be running wild and a lot of old and very irrelevant posts are being hit in Edinburgh. FYI ‘Trapped’ referred to my being unable to get off the shift with your tiresome hubby so that he could be happy with the gorgeous chick he apparently wasn’t bonking.  I still have quite a few of these posts, so don’t go inventing any more bullshit.

Let us be abundantly clear – no fondling, groping, blowing kisses, singing, untoward smiling, eyelash battering took place at any point.  Absolutely nothing about your husband induced any happiness.  My entire relationship with your husband has consisted of me desperately trying to communicate whilst he complained, stared, bitched about me with the beautiful chick and otherwise was a pain in the ass.  He is not genuinely interested in me at all.  I am an object to throw things at. I do not really exist.

At no point did he connect with me as a human being, never mind a potential partner.  Do you seriously think someone that cares about you plays along with a Sadist who is trying to get you fired?  Especially when you’re grieving for your mother and alone.  Nobody is that dumb.

You are barking up the wrong tree.  I do not do creative work for people I forsee actually copulating with as a general rule.  The whole point is that it is unrequited.  Should someone wish to call my bluff at some point, I will probably stop working altogether unless it is a mutual project like changing the face of international healthcare or running the country.

I am now in touch with the bank to repair the rest of the damage inflicted by your dumb husband.  I have even bothered to block him on linkedin, which he updates only slightly more often than I do.  It took some months to accept that it was even him in the pic.

LOL

Ina