The Car Crash Couple

Right, I don’t know whether you have given your wife your old phone, but her imagination appears to be running wild and a lot of old and very irrelevant posts are being hit in Edinburgh. FYI ‘Trapped’ referred to my being unable to get off the shift with your tiresome hubby so that he could be happy with the gorgeous chick he apparently wasn’t bonking.  I still have quite a few of these posts, so don’t go inventing any more bullshit.

Let us be abundantly clear – no fondling, groping, blowing kisses, singing, untoward smiling, eyelash battering took place at any point.  Absolutely nothing about your husband induced any happiness.  My entire relationship with your husband has consisted of me desperately trying to communicate whilst he complained, stared, bitched about me with the beautiful chick and otherwise was a pain in the ass.  He is not genuinely interested in me at all.  I am an object to throw things at. I do not really exist.

At no point did he connect with me as a human being, never mind a potential partner.  Do you seriously think someone that cares about you plays along with a Sadist who is trying to get you fired?  Especially when you’re grieving for your mother and alone.  Nobody is that dumb.

You are barking up the wrong tree.  I do not do creative work for people I forsee actually copulating with as a general rule.  The whole point is that it is unrequited.  Should someone wish to call my bluff at some point, I will probably stop working altogether unless it is a mutual project like changing the face of international healthcare or running the country.

I am now in touch with the bank to repair the rest of the damage inflicted by your dumb husband.  I have even bothered to block him on linkedin, which he updates only slightly more often than I do.  It took some months to accept that it was even him in the pic.





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