On shyness as narcissism

 

In an effort to cure my crippling shyness and move on from the recent past, I have today been researching narcissism.  I found some interesting stuff on shyness as a narcissistic trait.  The theory being that shyness is narcissistic because it indicates that you imagine your presence is important.

I have not always been shy.  I originally worked with the public.  Whilst this was a strain because I am so used to having quite so much alone time, I managed it without too much fuss and was a fairly big personality.  Likewise when I became a head chef, I had no problem learning how to work a room full of male chefs to get the best out of my staff.  I also have little problem trying new things, so evidently I have a form of confidence.  I just don’t particularly like interacting with lots of people.

I am trying to get over this, as I work on the Ina Disguise Entity project, as I think I will call it.  I have been back on my old youtube channel and re-released some old stuff.  I made a couple of videos today.  I still find I am worrying constantly about whether anybody wants to see it, whether it makes sense, whether I should be bothering to try.  I should not be worrying about this.

I made quite a few videos for my friend in London years ago when I first went raw, and found the minute the view count hit 40 I just wanted to take them all back down again.  The thought of people looking at me horrified me.

For the purposes of inventing Ina Disguise as a person I need to start getting over this as quickly as possible, therefore it is important that I work on it.  Making a youtube video should not be a source of quite so much anxiety, especially when you have a very small channel with few viewers.  Nevertheless I have already made and taken down about seven, regardless of the fact they only had one or two viewers.  This is not perfectionism, as anyone who has listened to the Ina Disguise channel can testify, but social anxiety.

In the spirit of making the best use of this anxiety, I am kind of using it as fuel to make me work harder on my appearance.  If I know people will see me, I take a lot more care than if I never see anyone, so it is quite helpful for that.  Having said this, in the event I ever do have to make public presentations, freaking out and going over every word I say over and over again is less than helpful.  I need to lose the hang-ups, basically.  It has become far worse since the family disaster and events of the last decade, so it is something I need to persist in working on.

In the spirit of self-acceptance, it would be nice to forget about it and do back-room types of work, but it does not look as if this is how life is going to work out, so I am going to persist with it. At least it will force me to regard myself as an artwork, which is probably a good thing.  It has, however, created something of a crisis of confidence about my artwork.  I kind of want to make a bonfire with quite a bit of it at the moment.

Shyness as a form of narcissism is a similar concept to caring as a form of self-abuse.  You hand over your life to care for someone else to show what a nice person you are, at your own expense.  It is a very damaging way of expressing yourself, especially when you have at least one real narcissist in your family waiting to criticise your efforts at every opportunity.  It is up to yourself how strong you are in terms of rationalising and taking action to avoid becoming a victim of these things.  I certainly never thought my life would ever end up like this.  It was not what I worked towards at all.

So, the Wolfe-era journey has now led me into very unfamiliar and terrifying terrain.  A lot of self-evaluation and development is still necessary, despite my exploring having gone relatively well so far. The problem with such self-evaluation is that it opens up many cans of worms you don’t really feel like opening, or necessarily really need to open.  I don’t write worrying terribly much about the attitudes of other people, for example, so why would my physical appearance and voice be so different?

All this, I do for a person who will never speak to me again.  I am still being an idiot.  At least I will be a better educated idiot, I suppose.

You may also like

60 Comments

  1. I strongly recommend steer clear of this platform. My own encounter with it has been only dismay as well as concerns regarding deceptive behavior. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, look for an honest platform for your needs.I urge you stay away from this site. The experience I had with it was purely dismay and doubts about deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or better yet, look for a trustworthy site for your needs.

  2. I urge you steer clear of this platform. My personal experience with it has been purely disappointment along with doubts about fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, seek out an honest service for your needs.I highly advise steer clear of this site. My personal experience with it has been nothing but dismay as well as suspicion of fraudulent activities. Proceed with extreme caution, or alternatively, find an honest service to meet your needs.

  3. I highly advise stay away from this platform. My own encounter with it has been nothing but disappointment along with doubts about deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or alternatively, find an honest site to meet your needs.I urge you steer clear of this platform. My personal experience with it has been only disappointment and doubts about deceptive behavior. Exercise extreme caution, or even better, find an honest site to fulfill your requirements.

  4. I am really enjoying the theme/design of your site. Do you
    ever run into any browser compatibility issues? A small number of my blog visitors have complained about my site not operating correctly
    in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any advice to help fix this
    problem?

  5. Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one
    and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks?

    If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.

  6. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you have been working with?
    I’m having some minor security issues with
    my latest website and I would like to find something
    more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?

  7. Definitely consider that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to remember of.
    I say to you, I definitely get annoyed even as other folks
    think about issues that they just do not recognize about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the highest as neatly as outlined out the entire thing
    without having side effect , other folks can take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  8. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all folks you really recognize what you are talking approximately!
    Bookmarked. Kindly also seek advice from my site =). We
    can have a link exchange arrangement among us

  9. Hi, its nice piece of writing on the topic of media print, we all be aware of media is a impressive source of facts.

  10. Fine way of explaining, and good article to take data about
    my presentation topic, which i am going to present in college.

  11. Your method of explaining all in this post is
    genuinely fastidious, all can effortlessly understand it, Thanks a lot.

  12. Ahaa, its pleasant dialogue regarding this paragraph at this place at this website,
    I have read all that, so at this time me
    also commenting at this place.

  13. I’m gone to say to my little brother, that he should also pay a quick visit this webpage on regular basis to
    take updated from latest news.

  14. Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article!

    It is the little changes that make the biggest changes.
    Many thanks for sharing!

  15. Someone essentially assist to make significantly articles
    I would state. That is the very first time I frequented your website
    page and thus far? I surprised with the research you made to make this particular submit incredible.
    Excellent task!

  16. I highly advise steer clear of this platform. The experience I had with it was purely frustration as well as suspicion of scamming practices. Exercise extreme caution, or even better, find a more reputable site to meet your needs.

  17. Discovering your website made my day. Packed
    with insightful content and engaging commentary, which isn’t easy to come by these days.
    cherish the time you’ve put into your writing.

    Your writing style is refreshingly unique. You offer a novel viewpoint that has stimulated my interest.
    I’m eager to seeing what you write next.
    I just couldn’t resist to leave a comment. Your posts shine with me on a personal level.
    If you’re thinking about offering a newsletter, sign me up!
    It would be a pleasure to have your insights delivered right to my
    inbox.
    Your writing struck a chord with me. It’s not
    every day you find a blog that invites you to ponder.

    I’m excited to see more of your work and urge you to keep writing.

    Your article felt like a breath of fresh air. With an overwhelming amount of information online, it’s wonderful to read content that’s as meaningful and articulate as yours.
    Please keep writing

    This syntax provides a variety of options for creating a positive
    and encouraging blog comment that compliments the author’s work and expresses a desire to continue engaging with
    their content.

    From time to time, I come across a blog that truly stands out because of its thought-provoking
    articles. Yours is undoubtedly one of those rare gems. The way you blend your words is not just educational but also extremely captivating.
    I commend the dedication you show towards your craft and eagerly
    look forward to your future posts.

    In the vast expanse of the internet, it feels
    rewarding to find a creator who invests genuine passion into their work.
    Your posts not only deliver valuable insights but
    also spur engaging discussions. You’ve gained a faithful follower from this point forward.

    Your blog has quickly risen to the top of my list for me,
    and I find myself visit it often for fresh insights. Each post is like a tutorial
    in your niche, delivered with eloquence and charm.
    Might you creating a subscription service or a monthly newsletter?

    I would be thrilled to get more of your knowledge straight to my
    inbox

    Your unique perspective to issues is truly refreshing, it’s highly sought after in the modern online landscape.
    Your ability to dissect complex concepts and
    present them in an easily digestible way is a talent that should not
    go unnoticed. I eagerly await your future publications and the dialogues they’ll inspire.

    Discovering a blog that acts as both a cognitive challenge and a
    heartfelt conversation. Your posts do just that, providing
    a harmonious blend of knowledge and emotional resonance.
    The community you’re cultivating here is testament to your impact and proficiency.
    I’m eager to see where you’ll take us next and I’ll be following along closely.

    After investing countless hours diving into the expanse of
    the internet today, I must say that your blog is like a lighthouse in a sea of
    information. Not once have I stumbled upon such an amalgamation of captivating content that resonate on a profound
    level. Your penchant for clarifying complex subjects with simplicity and acuity is commendable.
    I’m eagerly waiting for your subsequent publication, anticipating it will enhance
    my understanding even further.

    In today’s digital era, where content is plentiful, your blog shines as a bastion of originality.
    It’s a privilege to discover a corner of the web that commits to developing knowledge expansion. Your eloquently written posts ignite an appetite
    for knowledge that many of us long for. I would be honored if there’s an option to sign up for direct notifications, as I would
    hate to miss any thought-provoking post.

    Your online presence is a true reflection of what passionate writing is all about.
    Each entry you craft is filled with valuable takeaways and rich narratives that keep me thinking long after
    I’ve read them. Your perspective is an invaluable contribution to
    the sometimes chaotic internet space. Should you decide to an exclusive membership, count
    me as an eager participant to join. Your content is deserving of following.

    I am returning to your blog frequently, drawn by the caliber of discussion you initiate.

    It’s obvious that your blog is not merely a medium for sharing ideas;
    it’s a gathering for thinkers who desire purposeful engagement.
    Your investment inOf course!

    As soon as I began reading your blog, I realized it was something special.
    Your ability to dive into intricate topics and unravel them for your audience is truly
    impressive. Each article you release is a treasure trove of information, and
    I constantly find myself anxious to read what you’ll delve into next.

    Your dedication to quality is clear, and I hope that you’ll persist
    sharing such precious insights.

    Your posts serves as a lighthouse in the sometimes turbulent waters of online content.

    Your in-depth analysis into diverse subjects are not
    only informative but also immensely captivating. I admire the way you balance thorough research with relatable examples,
    creating posts that are both informative and entertaining.
    If there’s a way to sign up for updates your blog or join a mailing list, I would be grateful to be informed of your latest musings.

    As a content creator, I’m motivated by the enthusiasm you pour
    into each article. You have a knack for making even the most esoteric topics approachable
    and compelling. The way you present concepts and link them to wider narratives is exceptionally artful.
    Kindly tell me if you have any webinars or e-books in the works, as I would love to gain further insight from your expertise.

    It’s rare to encounter a blog that hits the mark with both heart and mind.
    Your articles are penned with a level of insight that touches
    the core of the human condition. Every time I read your blog, I leave feeling enriched and stimulated.
    I’m eager to know whether you intend to

    From the moment I started perusing your blog, I realized it was something special.
    Your skill to plunge into challenging topics and unravel them for your readership is
    truly remarkable. Each post you share is a wealth of information, and I always
    find myself eager to see what you’ll explore next.
    Your dedication to high-quality content is clear, and I
    anticipate that you’ll continue providing such precious perspectives.

  18. I urge you to avoid this platform. My personal experience with it was purely frustration along with concerns regarding fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or even better, find a more reputable service to fulfill your requirements.

  19. Discovering your article made my day. Brimming with informative content and thought-provoking commentary, which
    isn’t easy to come by these days. value the time you’ve put into
    your work.
    Your writing style is refreshingly unique. You present a new perspective that has
    ignited my interest. I’m eager to seeing what you post next.

    I simply had to leave a comment. Your content speak with me on a profound level.
    If you’re planning on offering a newsletter, sign me up! It would be a pleasure to have your insights delivered right
    to my inbox.
    Your post struck a chord with me. Rarely do you stumble upon a
    blog that prompts you to ponder. Keen to read more of your work and encourage you to carry on with your passion.
    Your article was a refreshing change. With a sea of content online, it’s wonderful to find
    content that’s as enriching and entertaining as yours.
    Please keep writing

    This syntax provides a variety of options for creating a positive and encouraging blog comment
    that compliments the author’s work and expresses a desire to
    continue engaging with their content.

    Occasionally, I come across a blog that grabs my interest due to
    its compelling content. Yours is certainly one of those rare gems.
    The way you blend your words is not just informative but
    also incredibly engaging. I commend the dedication you show towards your craft and eagerly look forward to your future posts.

    Amidst the vastness of the internet, it’s refreshing to come across a blogger who puts so much heart into their
    work. Your posts not only deliver valuable insights but also stimulate engaging discussions.
    Count me in as a regular reader from this point forward.

    Your blog has quickly risen to the top of my list for me,
    and I find myself visit it regularly for new content.
    Each post is like a tutorial in your niche, delivered with
    crispness and humor. Could you offering a subscription service
    or a monthly newsletter? I would be thrilled to get more of your knowledge directly to my inbox

    Your distinctive approach to topics is both refreshing and rare, it’s deeply needed in our current online landscape.

    Your ability to break down complex concepts and share them in an easily digestible way
    is an ability that should not go unnoticed. I am excited for your future publications and the
    discussions they’ll ignite.

    Finding a blog that provides both a mental workout and a warm discussion. Your posts achieve that balance,
    offering a harmonious blend of knowledge and personal connection. The audience
    you’re nurturing here is evidence to your influence and proficiency.
    I’m curious to see where you’ll take us next and I’ll be following along closely.

    Having dedicated numerous hours diving into the expanse of the internet today, I feel
    compelled to express that your blog is like a beacon of knowledge.
    Never before have I stumbled upon such a trove of intriguing ideas that resonate on a profound level.
    Your knack for clarifying complex subjects with elegance
    and acuity is admirable. I’m eagerly waiting for your upcoming piece, anticipating it will enhance my understanding even further.

    In the current digital era, where information overload is common, your blog shines as a pillar of originality.
    It’s a rarity to behold a corner of the web that adheres
    to cultivating intellectual growth. Your eloquently written posts stimulate a yearning for understanding
    that many of us crave. Kindly inform me if there’s a possibility to subscribe for direct
    notifications, as I would hate to miss a single thought-provoking article.

    Your website is the epitome of what engaged storytelling is all about.
    Each entry you create is filled with actionable takeaways and deep
    insights that leave me pondering long after I’ve
    finished reading. Your narrative is a refreshing voice to the frequently crowded
    digital landscape. If you have an exclusive community, count me as an eager participant to join. Your content is worth following.

    I am returning to your blog time and again, drawn by
    the caliber of conversation you provoke. It’s obvious that
    your blog is more than a medium for sharing thoughts; it’s a hub for thinkers who desire purposeful
    engagement. Your commitment toOf course!

    As soon as I commenced exploring your blog, I realized it was
    something special. Your talent to plunge into challenging topics and demystify them for your readership is truly noteworthy.
    Each post you publish is a repository of information, and I constantly find myself anxious to discover what you’ll uncover
    next. Your dedication to quality is clear, and I
    anticipate that you’ll keep on sharing such invaluable content.

    Your posts is a beacon in the sometimes turbulent seas of online content.
    Your comprehensive explorations into varied subjects are not only educational but
    also extremely engaging. I admire the way
    you combine meticulous investigation with personal anecdotes,
    creating posts that are equally informative and engaging.

    If there’s a method to subscribe your blog or become
    part of a newsletter subscription, I would be grateful to be informed of your latest musings.

    As a content creator, I’m inspired by the enthusiasm you put into each
    post. You have a gift for making even the most complex topics accessible and fascinating.
    The way you present concepts and relate them to larger contexts is
    nothing short of skillful. Please inform me if you have any workshops
    or digital resources in the works, as I would jump at the chance to learn from your expertise.

    It’s uncommon to find a blog that strikes the perfect
    chord with both intellect and emotion. Your posts are crafted with
    a degree of thoughtfulness that touches the core of the human experience.

    Whenever I check your blog, I leave more informed and stimulated.
    I’m curious to know whether you plan to

    As soon as I commenced reading your blog, I could tell it was something
    extraordinary. Your ability to plunge into
    intricate topics and demystify them for your audience is truly noteworthy.
    Each article you publish is a wealth of knowledge, and I always find myself excited to see what you’ll uncover next.
    Your commitment to excellence is evident, and I hope that you’ll keep on offering such invaluable insights.

  20. I strongly recommend to avoid this site. My personal experience with it has been nothing but disappointment as well as concerns regarding scamming practices. Be extremely cautious, or even better, find an honest site to meet your needs.

  21. I urge you to avoid this site. My personal experience with it was only disappointment as well as concerns regarding deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, seek out a more reputable service for your needs.

  22. I strongly recommend steer clear of this platform. The experience I had with it was only frustration along with concerns regarding deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, find an honest site for your needs.

  23. I urge you steer clear of this platform. The experience I had with it was purely disappointment along with concerns regarding fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, seek out a more reputable site to meet your needs.

  24. I highly advise to avoid this platform. My own encounter with it has been nothing but dismay as well as suspicion of scamming practices. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, find an honest service for your needs.

  25. Amazing issues here. I’m very happy to peer your post.
    Thanks a lot and I am having a look forward to contact you.
    Will you please drop me a mail?

  26. I urge you steer clear of this site. My personal experience with it was nothing but dismay along with doubts about fraudulent activities. Exercise extreme caution, or even better, find a more reputable site for your needs.

  27. I urge you to avoid this site. My personal experience with it has been only frustration along with concerns regarding fraudulent activities. Proceed with extreme caution, or better yet, find a trustworthy platform to meet your needs.

  28. I highly advise stay away from this platform. My own encounter with it has been only frustration along with suspicion of scamming practices. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, seek out an honest service to meet your needs.

  29. I strongly recommend steer clear of this platform. My personal experience with it has been only dismay as well as suspicion of fraudulent activities. Exercise extreme caution, or better yet, find a more reputable platform to meet your needs.

  30. I highly advise stay away from this site. My own encounter with it has been nothing but disappointment as well as concerns regarding fraudulent activities. Exercise extreme caution, or alternatively, seek out an honest platform to meet your needs.

  31. I urge you steer clear of this site. The experience I had with it was nothing but disappointment along with doubts about deceptive behavior. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, look for an honest site to meet your needs.

  32. I urge you to avoid this site. My personal experience with it was nothing but dismay along with concerns regarding scamming practices. Proceed with extreme caution, or better yet, find a more reputable service to meet your needs.

  33. I highly advise steer clear of this site. The experience I had with it has been purely dismay and suspicion of deceptive behavior. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, find a trustworthy platform to fulfill your requirements.

  34. I highly advise stay away from this platform. The experience I had with it has been nothing but disappointment along with doubts about scamming practices. Proceed with extreme caution, or better yet, find an honest site to fulfill your requirements.

  35. I strongly recommend to avoid this platform. My own encounter with it was nothing but frustration along with doubts about scamming practices. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, look for an honest platform for your needs.

  36. I strongly recommend steer clear of this site. My own encounter with it has been nothing but disappointment and doubts about scamming practices. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, seek out a trustworthy service for your needs.

  37. Для обхода блокировки официального сайта игрокам предлагается использовать в Vavada рабочее зеркало с идентичным функционалом.

  38. I urge you to avoid this site. My own encounter with it has been only disappointment along with doubts about scamming practices. Be extremely cautious, or even better, seek out a trustworthy service for your needs.

  39. I urge you to avoid this platform. My personal experience with it was nothing but dismay along with concerns regarding fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or alternatively, seek out a trustworthy service for your needs.s

  40. I have read so many posts on the topic of the blogger lovers except this paragraph is genuinely a good piece of
    writing, keep it up.

  41. I highly advise steer clear of this platform. The experience I had with it has been only disappointment and concerns regarding scamming practices. Exercise extreme caution, or alternatively, find a trustworthy platform for your needs.

  42. I love what you guys are up too. This type of clever work and reporting!
    Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve incorporated you
    guys to our blogroll.

  43. I highly advise stay away from this site. The experience I had with it has been only dismay along with doubts about deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or better yet, look for a trustworthy platform for your needs.

  44. I urge you steer clear of this site. My personal experience with it has been only frustration along with doubts about deceptive behavior. Exercise extreme caution, or even better, seek out an honest platform to fulfill your requirements.

  45. I urge you to avoid this platform. The experience I had with it was only frustration along with doubts about deceptive behavior. Exercise extreme caution, or better yet, find a trustworthy site to meet your needs.

  46. I blog quite often and I seriously thank you for your information. Your article has really peaked my interest.

    I’m going to take a note of your blog and keep checking for new information about once a week.
    I subscribed to your RSS feed as well.

  47. I urge you stay away from this site. The experience I had with it was nothing but disappointment and suspicion of fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or better yet, find a trustworthy platform to fulfill your requirements.

  48. I urge you stay away from this platform. My own encounter with it has been only frustration as well as suspicion of scamming practices. Exercise extreme caution, or better yet, find a more reputable site for your needs.

  49. I urge you steer clear of this platform. My personal experience with it was only disappointment along with doubts about fraudulent activities. Be extremely cautious, or alternatively, look for a more reputable site to meet your needs.

  50. I urge you steer clear of this site. My own encounter with it has been purely disappointment as well as concerns regarding deceptive behavior. Proceed with extreme caution, or even better, look for a trustworthy service for your needs.

  51. Legzo casino — это онлайн казино, которое работает с 2021 года и имеет лицензию от правительства Кюрасао.

  52. Игроки могут участвовать в ежедневных, еженедельных и месячных акциях для получения дополнительных бонусов и призов.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *