The Problem with Money

When I wrote my note to Boris the other day, it occurred to me that it was probably very stupid of me to mention that I do not do my work on the basis of making money from it.  Of all people, Boris knows the value of money.  I could probably wheedle my way into a position of influence if I threw my principles on the bonfire of vanities that is my usual MO.

 

Here is the problem with money – money makes people insincere – money is a great motivator, but it is also at the root of many significant problems. As I have discussed in previous posts, fear of mortgage payments is at the heart of many significant societal problems.  What your average white collar employee would term indiscipline, bad planning, rebelliousness or simple lack of predictability is often what we used to call integrity, back when we actually grew the economy instead of paying for votes.

 

David Torrance was objecting to criticism on the basis of a mere mention of journalistic impartiality today.  When I asked who pays journalists, and that it is entirely obvious that nobody is impartial, he responded by blocking me.  So now I am presumably on his list of dangerous radicals.

 

To save anyone’s confusion on this issue, and evidently David is extremely confused – what do you think would happen if I started spamming the Spectator with offers of a series of posts on Scottish Nationalism?  How would the Daily Mail respond if I generously proffered my witty scribblings on the underperformance of the English economy?  How would the Express feel about me jotting down my thoughts on petunias and dead disabled people?

 

That’s correct.  I would not get anywhere at all.  Despite my being a perfectly normal, respectable person, I would be rejected, laughed at, disparaged.  If I then somehow managed to make their contemptuous responses public, there would be howls of disparagement.  There is nothing impartial about journalism.

 

I tried illuminating Loki the rapper on this earlier this week – no response.  Asking for money before an ‘honest debate’ merely means that you are offering your opinion for sale.  As Loki is likely to concentrate on personality rather than economics, his opinion appears to many to be bought and paid for.

 

I then considered the issue of Wings – why would it be OK for Wings to do much the same thing?  The difference is that Wings made his agenda very clear, and stuck to it.  I am not a big follower of Wings, so I would not care to comment on his work, but I am sure it is what it says on the tin. You have what you paid for, in the event that you are a funder.

 

So, in terms of my work, I do not approach it with the intention of generating money.  If my investigations, which tend to be critically affectionate, as with David Wolfe, turn up a good guy I will say so.  If they do not, I will say that too.  I am a very gentle puppeteer, so I can say that my muses tend to be in very safe hands.

 

Having said this, the idea of money becoming involved before I do the work is horrifying and would seriously impact on my work, and so it is important that my muse keeps their trap shut until I have done it for best results. Money is helpful, but it is also a bigger influencer in most people’s lives than anything else.  Sex, religion, politics all pale into insignificance next to the divine cash.

 

At least two aggressive unionists, both English, swore, cursed, disparaged and tried to malign me in the course of answering their questions on various formats this week.  Both were silenced when I pointed out that Scotland does not vote Conservative, and had nothing else to say.  It was that easy.

 

Be aware that the vast majority of people form their opinions from a cursory look at the headlines, and they have been told that we are insignificant whingers.  They have no understanding of the active resistance to allowing foreign investment into Scotland, no understanding of cultural erosion, no concept of income/road/stamp duty/inheritance tax leaving the country and going elsewhere.  They have been led to believe that Scotland is trying to steal something that actually belongs to England.  Scotland would be so nice without Scottish people.

 

This continued policy of English domination is backfiring.  They do not seem to have an alternative course of action.  I see no wooing.  Therefore directing your career towards the ‘might is right’ economic domination is not a sign that you desire to become a top level journalist.  In other words, individuals who choose to write for money, without stating their agenda, forge their careers on the basis of doing what they are told. I am sure that David and his pals have nice flats, but they have no real fire or depth.

 

Who are the real whingers?  Those of us who would like to take up our tools and build our country, or those of us who see nothing, say what they are told to say, and have no feeling for their own nation?

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EU VAT and Scotland

Here are some interesting articles which you should be aware of in relation to Europe and the UK.  I was, I thought, reliably informed by a Chartered Accountant, no less, that Brexiteers were saving poor people from having to pay 5 percent extra for their food because the monsters at the EU were going to take away zero ratings for VAT across Europe.  This story is fairly long, so bear with me, and open the links as you go for later perusal.
EU threatens to abolish zero VAT regime 2005 (Ireland)  This link will tell you that the EU planned to remove zero ratings for children’s clothing, but not foodstuffs.
Wikipedia EU value added Tax See the section ‘zero rate derogation’

2016 EU VAT rates

The above will take you to rates paid across Europe.  You will find the United Kingdom at the bottom.  In fact under EU law, Ireland and the UK were allowed zero rated VAT on food back in 1991, and there are no official plans to remove the zero rating.  In fact EU papers have shown that they plan to extend it for countries with other concerns.
Scaremongering from the Mail 2012
Scaremongering from the Guardian 2016
Scaremongering from AccountingWeb 2014 (requires registration with location and phone number)
Scaremongering from Telegraph 2016  Showing David Cameron as heroic protector of zero VAT on food
Research from Government 2016 with ref to law and future This shows that in 2003 the EU did indeed plan to abolish zero ratings in order to streamline the system, but as they would require our agreement to achieve a consensus, did not press ahead with it.
TMF comparison of countries actual VAT changes showing a reduction of VAT in several countries.
EU Q and A on VAT April 2016

So, as we can see, the EU had no immediate plans to implement a VAT increase on food, to the EU minimum of five percent.  They had tried to broach the subject a few times, but since they are dealing with rather a lot of countries with differing concerns, (France wanted a VAT reduction on eating out, for example) they were not rocking the boat.
What will affect you, is Scotland leaving and rejoining in the event of independence, unless an agreement similar to the 1991 agreement can be reached to allow the implementation of zero rate derogation on things like children’s clothing and food.  I would suggest, therefore, that indyref 2 should be sooner, rather than later, in order to retain the possibility of maintaining the existing agreement on zero rated goods.

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Boris’s Shopping List (and possibly yours)

I wrote a quick note to Boris yesterday on his part in the Boris Experience.  He may listen, he may not, but either way it is important to get him in tip top shape if we are to get through the next five years without the inevitable unadulterated misery and blame on poor people we have come to expect from the Conservative party.

 

Many of my readers, particularly in Scotland, will find my duality very odd.  Why show any compassion to a Tory, of all people?  I even had to explain to Twisty, who of all people has been well aware of my odd displays of compassion for the undeserving for many, many years.

 

From Twisty’s perspective, and many others who do not get past the first few seconds of constructive thought, Boris represents everything that is considered evil to a republican Scot.  I am, for one thing, not a republican Scot.  I am pro independence, but I have no issues with monarchy and class because I see the sound economic reasons and history behind it.  Therefore there is no conflict for me in ‘being nice to the neighbours, particularly those I have a great deal in common with.

 

“But, but, he said they were taking the jobs away because people vote Tory in England! He is one of them!”

 

Yes, this is true, he was indeed good enough to explain why it makes sense to Conservatives to move jobs away from Scotland, which is more than any other Tory has ever done.

 

“But, but, he is privileged.  That bastard will want for nothing.”

 

His privilege is as a result of knowing the right people and being willing to subsist in the public eye.  As I have said before about Monarchy, the only legally upheld system of golden cage slavery in the world, this is not something I would relish in the slightest.  It is nothing at all to do with me.

 

“You needn’t expect a Tory will ever do anything for you.”

 

As we have already seen from the supposedly caring hippy David Wolfe, people who have the drive to make something of their lives do not tend to stop and help other people for no reason.  I do not start projects with the intention of getting something out of it.  Just as well because I would be very disappointed if I did.  Besides, Boris has demonstrated that he is a kind person by the very fact that he got himself into Brexit trouble in the first place.

 

Having said all of that, I am now going to tell you about today:

 

Today, Lee Nelson changed the name of Philip Green’s yacht.  This is the same Philip Green that Tony Blair, who many of you used to vote for, feted in the nineties.  He robbed a lot of pensioners. He has a title and a big fat yacht.  If you want to hate anybody, I would direct you towards Philip and Tony. Tony, who now has a fat payout from his boardroom position at a major investment bank, and Claire Short, who now advises mining companies on how best to exploit developing nations.  At least the Conservative party warn you that you need a lubricant before the inevitable happens.

 

Today Westminster Bridge was closed by disabled protestors.  Good.  At last. Get it together.

 

My belief is that a compassionate Conservative Party would not have to make many policy changes to rule out the curse of New Labour forever, and I think Boris would make an excellent, self-depreciating and surprisingly honest figurehead of such a party.  There are ways of turning poisonous policy into opportunity, and it takes the correct personality and brain to make that happen.  Boris has displayed marked empire-building tendencies in the course of his writing, and so I should like to see him in a good state of health to make a hopeful and functional country a possiblity.  Therefore the first thing we need to do is sort out his slight signs of melting decline into a Churchillian look.  No, Boris, we are not going to let that happen.

 

Today, I missed my smoothie until tonight.  As a result my left side was crippled by 4pm and I was unable to sew.  That is how good my supermix is.  No trace of pain as long as I start the day the right way.  My personal supermix has 80 ingredients, and I do not plan to give out the recipe.  However, if you would like to try something like it and see how it works for you, here is Boris’s shopping list:

 

Bladderwrack – buy this by the kilo from ebay.  You can choose an alternative seaweed, but the yanks do not seem to know about this one, and it is extremely good for flushing your liver and kidney, so it is cheaper and more effective.  In powder form, there is no need to soak.

 

Wheatgrass – this is expensive in frozen form, so although it is slightly less efficacious, I recommend getting this in powder form, also from ebay

 

Barleygrass – as above

 

Chlorella – as above

 

Axastathin – Wolfe sells a very expensive powder, but I use the fish food version, which is exactly the same and costs far less.  Ebay again.

 

Seeds – linseeds, a standard omega three mix, chia, hemp seeds, pomegranate seeds.  You can get these in supermarkets now, as well as ebay, and your local middle eastern store.

 

Berries – I like to add Barberries and Incan Berries – Barberries you can get at the middle eastern store, Incan Berries – ebay or the health food shop.  These both have important properties for your smoothie

 

Raw Cacao – many raw foodists do not like raw cacao, but for a person with a primarily brain led life, cacao is invaluable.  Your first shot will not be your last

 

Stevia – do not use Truvia for this.  Get a liquid one if you can, but the Wholefoods market green packet is not bad, if a tad expensive.  If you do not fancy stevia, try using honeycomb from your middle eastern store instead.

 

Dates – after much messing about, I now use blocks of pre pureed dates from Algeria.  It does look as if you are driving around with a half pound of Afghan in your car, but it saves you a lot of soaking. Be sparing, but use them as they contain some nice things that you need.

 

Fruit – fruit generally is counter productive unless you do a lot of exercise, and you will want to phase most of it out eventually apart from pineapple and berries.  Pineapple is good for breaking down excess proteins in your system, improving your skin and solving any coughing issues. (five times more effective than cough medicine)  I do recommend it to begin with as it makes horsing down half a pound of spinach at a time far easier.

 

Leaves – spinach, kale, lamb’s lettuce, anything green and leafy.  Shoot for half a pound a day, but do not worry if you cannot manage to horse this much into your first smoothies.  Try 2oz or so at a time.  The little packets are 100g so half of one of those.

 

Cucumber and Celery – My father once cured his incurable gout with celery juice for six weeks.  Just throw it into your morning drink along with the above and let it do its thing.

 

 

 

Now, once you have all of this in your liquidiser, I suggest that you add spring water (I use carbonated) and ice.  You will, if you do this regularly, end up mixing the seeds and berries into one large jar, and the powders in the other.  You need a tablespoon from each jar of mixed ingredients and a tablespoon of sweetener, then the water and fruit and veg.  Squizz that together, and you should have about three glasses of delicious health food that will set you up for a happy and regular day.  Do this for a week, and tell me you aren’t in less pain with a more capable and active brain.

 

I like to start the day with some iced water, followed by a morning to afternoon consuming all that.  After this I am not all that hungry for some time, so it is far easier not to consume the nearest salty/oily thing. It may seem rich to a raw foodist, but I am introducing someone that I know has a very rich diet to more nutritious and helpful food.

 

Toodle Pip

 

Ina

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Superficial Liberalism and Racists

Today I had a very irritating conversation with a dude that could not understand my retweet.  It was in relation to Poland.  He was feigning horror at Poles in England having said they would stay forever, but since the attack in Harlow, they do not think that they will.

 

My retweet informed him that since sending the 1-2 million workers, and in some cases entire families to the UK Poland has, in the meantime created conditions for the subcontracted employment of workers from North Korea, who work in closely monitored gangs for a very small wage so that the regime gain foreign currency.  They pick people with families, who are at risk until they safely return.  They also employ Portuguese workers, who are apparently willing to work for less than the Polish workers were.

 

Who decides who the valuable humans are?  Is it Poland, whose politicians have described African immigrants as ‘human garbage?’  Is it the trendy liberal implying that I am a racist?

 

Members of the Polish government have suggested scrapping benefits altogether, to dissuade immigrants from wishing to settle there, and their sense of nationalism is so strong that they have openly said that Muslims, and refugees from countries such as Syria are not welcome.

 

To your average British racist/xenophobe, the fact that the Poles come here, undercut existing business, work for less money and send what they do not spend home directly damages their welfare.  British wages are lower, the local culture changes, the appearance of the street changes with populations who prefer to live together in a sometimes hostile environment.  This greatly aided the case for Brexit, since it is perceived that supply outstrips demand.

 

With my economics hat on, this is not strictly the case.  Full employment is a case of prioritising the case for full employment.  Business does not want full employment.  If a bank requires 6 hedge fund managers to turn up for interview, for example, this means that there need to be at least 40 unemployed hedge fund managers at any one given time.  Hence, the unemployed population must reflect this.  Likewise, if a shopfitting company wish to choose from 200 carpenters for ten temporary jobs, this creates a perceived political requirement for 500 unemployed carpenters willing to work in that particular area.

 

The EU is a nice idea.  Free movement is a nice idea.  It is open to extreme exploitation by countries such as Poland, and it is certainly highly desirable for companies who want more and more choice when it comes to their employees.  What is not OK, is shifting millions of people from the Polish population to a country which already has an unemployment and welfare problem in order to exploit suffering people from a poorer country.  Hence, we see that the EU is not a good idea for the general population, particularly if you are on the shittier end of the stick.

 

In no way should these attacks be happening, but if you can imagine what will happen if Scotland achieves independence and stays in the EU.  There are only around two and a half million jobs in Scotland currently.  It will not take much before the Scottish population takes much the same attitude as the poorer English regions to immigration.  Do you really want to see Scotland covered in hastily built housing, crippling native unemployment and circulating currency which is continuously sent to another country?  Even Spain has an astonishingly high unemployment rate now.  This suits business, but people are stifled, from having families, buying houses, starting businesses.  People suffer. The economy suffers.

 

What irritates me intensely is that you are not allowed to speak about this.  If you do, you are immediately branded a racist/xenophobe.  If I put it to you that eventually you should be willing to share your bedroom with 22 Europeans, would you then understand what the problem is?

 

I have seen many friends, former socialists, who have gone from heartfelt defence of ‘the glorious worker,’ class hatred and the pretension of solidarity to absolute and very real racism because they are frightened.  They already have very little, and they fear losing it.  The same social classes who both at school and afterwards assumed that I was ‘a snob’ and did not understand them, now direct their hatred at immigrants.  Such is the nature of having very little, fully expecting that the future involves having even less.

 

The point is that we have an increasingly stratified population looking for things to tut at in the same way old ladies used to tut at the News of the World whilst buying it on a regular basis.  They tut at attacks on foreigners, they tut at people who want to leave the EU, they tut and look for the nearest foreign person they can patronise so that they can then look down their nose at anyone who has the audacity to say “Actually I was first in that queue.”  It is the usual very successful strategy of divide and conquer.  Fear of poor people is only to be encouraged in a conservative world, after all.

 

So, I ask you, who is the real racist?  The person who chastises you for using the word Muslim, even though you have far greater awareness of the Muslim population than they do and have the vocabulary to discuss it rationally, or the little oik that openly says they hate Muslims and wishes they were not in the UK?  With the latter, you can reason with them and educate them, with the former, you are condemned to silence by their stinking sense of entirely fake knowledge and self-worth. In the meantime, hate groups of other faiths, nationalities and interests feel no shame at all in protecting their interests.

 

Are you willing to allow your culture to be destroyed?  It would not, as I have demonstrated, take a great deal of erosion for you to view the world very differently.  In Scotland, we currently have the now Marks and Spencers-led attempt to call anything Scottish, British. We have been in an economic war with Westminster for fifty years.  Are you ready for the cultural war which they have already declared?  Once you have fought that, are you ready for the cultural war with the EU which is likely to follow?

 

Finally, I will leave you with the example of the Andaman Islands, in the Bay of Bengal.  These islands had four untouched colonies.  There are hundreds of islands, but India decided to settle on the occupied islands.  Out of four colonies, three are perishing and losing their land and seclusion to India, who have actually been fairly gentle in their domination of other people’s land.  Only the Sentinelese are likely to survive, because they have refused to speak to the emissaries sent by India.

 

Nationalism is not all about hate, it is about survival and very wisely protecting yourself. Globalism, on the other hand, is for people who got lucky, feel very superior and cannot see far enough into the future to see their children’s children made slaves to corporations who have long since lost sight of their role serving, rather than dictating to consumer populations.  Cling to your nationalism, because once you have lost it, you have no way back short of destruction of your enemy.

 

 

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Letter to Boris

Dear Boris,

 

I don’t usually do this, but then I don’t usually make a conscious decision to pick anybody.  Work is going reasonably well, and I should be up to date with background tasks in about ten days or so, which means I will be starting the new work.

 

In the meantime, I am concerned about your health.  To save some time and energy, rather than wasting your time or mine on hints, I think you should get yourself some seaweed, some omega 3 seeds, some wheatgrass and some barleygrass.  Soak the seeds every night, add some green leafy vegetables, some stevia or honey and the wheat and barleygrass, whether powder or freeze dried to the mixture in the morning.  Then add fruit until it tastes reasonably pleasant.  Raw cacao powder is also very good for improving the mineral content and flavour.  Since you are probably being plied with over rich food constantly, please ensure that you eat a green salad with every meal.  You will find that if you eat a tiny bit of the green salad before you start, your digestion will function much better. Try to choose the fish and ignore the potatoes/bread/pasta etc. Your overall functionality should improve in about a week.

 

I realise that it is not easy to ignore idiots at work, but you are dealing with at least two, so try to work around it.  I have some proposals, which will be included in the charming book I am preparing for you.  This will be released free of charge, since I am not famous, and I do not do this for money as such. (chance would be a fine thing) I will probably release it from the website, so as to retain full copyright, hence it will not have huge distribution.  I do this directly for the person I am writing/making objects for rather than the general public. It is a bit quirky, but perhaps eventually I will learn to like money somewhat more than I do at present.

 

Usually, I have some sort of emotional event and the creativity takes over because I feel terrible.  You have been selected because I was seized with concern that you feel terrible, and I would like you not to feel terrible.  I hope that this makes some sense.

 

This oddity was created by my father, who was also an artist and forbade me from taking up art as a living on the grounds that better art is created  by people who cannot help it.  It is a rather repressive way of working, but perhaps this is me breaking out of it. It also seems like a rather good opportunity to return to my academic work, which is highly relevant to you in particular.

 

I do have a considerable pile of work still to finish from the Wolfe collection, but this will be completed whilst I carry out the Boris experience. It does not mean my attention is at all divided, it just means that my time is somewhat limited.

 

I do hope that you take my oddness in the spirit in which it is meant, and do get on with those trade deals, regardless of the oppressive shit on a plate you are doubtlessly being kept on a leash for.  It is extremely important.

 

Thank you in anticipation of your patience.

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Saving Face

Saving face is my topic for tonight.  Saving face is what causes people to ramble anxiously when they don’t really know what they are talking about.  Saving face is what causes suicides in Japan, and honour killings in India, Pakistan and the Middle East.  Saving face is also heavily involved in blame culture.

 

Note that all of these consequences of saving face are negative.  There is nothing good about the idea of saving face. Fuck your stupid face.

 

Having spent a decade of formative years in high-pressure catering work, where there is no such thing as saving face, I can tell you how annoying it is to be around people seemingly obsessed with it.  It is very simple – you either get it right or you don’t, and unless you are one of those rare beasts like Boris,  who is not that interested in saving face, despite his career choices, you are more likely to stick with your bone-headed opinion forever like David Wolfe.

 

Saving face is time-wasting, a product of ego, vain and when you can see through it, extremely irritating.  There is absolutely no excuse for sticking with the same wrong opinion or dearly held belief just because people have been doing it for centuries before you, or because you are trapped in some stupid cultural norm of ‘doing what is expected of you.’  So what if you are a diet guru who digs fat chicks, or a male head of the household whose wife earns more than you do?  Really, so what?

 

The inability to think your way out of a state of requiring that you must save your tedious face is a sure sign of inane vanity.  It is not something I regard as forgiveable. To err is human, but the divine does not forgive you setting your wife on fire, hurling yourself out of a window or worrying about what your equally stupid neighbours or friends think.

 

One of the few things America has got right is discarding, to a certain extent, the idea of saving face.  The obsession with money has helped with this.  If you fail, you have no option, as a yank, but to move on and be successful at something else before your health insurance and ‘gasoline’ runs out.  They may be extremely dumb about other things, but acknowledging and moving on from failure is something they do reasonably well. Look at the example of Trump.  They see no reason at all for not voting for a man on trial in two states for fraud and rape in at least one other state! No question of his saving face then!

 

Ultimately in life, it is imperative to learn how to shrug and move on.  Sometimes mistakes cannot be cleared up immediately, and sometimes they are catastrophic, but you will find out fairly early in life, if you are any kind of person at all, that you are a lot more worthy of respect if you simply acknowledge your error rather than finding someone else to dump it on.

 

In recent years, it has become fashionable to try to spin your errors onto someone else.  This has been extremely bad for the economy and for talented individuals it is also extremely frustrating for learning.  If you are not allowed to point out and correct errors, nothing can change and little errors quickly turn into enormous disasters.  (The banking crisis being a case in point.)

 

So, whilst mistakes are inevitable, it is important for you as a well rounded individual to learn from them and take responsibility for them, at least in your own mind whilst you find some poor sap to take the blame so you can retain your promotion.  Remember that cheats get promoted, and the lower in the organisation you are, the more likely you are to be sinfully honest. (see the bagel experiment)

 

Try not to kill your wife and children, ruin anybody’s life or jump out of any windows.  It isn’t worth it.  Shit happens, and if you have even half a brain you will figure out a way of getting around it.

 

 

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Product, Brand and Consistency

Product, brand, consistency
OK, I have made a lot of lazy posts recently, because I was feeling a bit low due to a crap diet and feeling a bit browbeaten.  I think it is time to get back on track really.
Conclusions I have drawn from the last two and a half yearsIf you are marketing yourself with no money, consistency is key.  Putting yourself out there takes dedication, daily attention and perseverance.  In the absence of a budget, you need to set aside about two hours a day for getting your name out.  It has been said that people need to see your name around nine times now before they notice it, even if you have a shit hot product.
Books do not make money unless you have an established name.  This means you either throw some money at creating a brand, or you create a cool underground product and rely on word of mouth.  This means the contents of your product also need to be consistent. I am not so worried about the books, although I can spin a yarn, so to speak. I really put the books out to promote other things, such as the artwork on the cover, or the subject matter.  It is a cheap and cost-effective way of making more people aware of my doing something, basically.
Cross marketing is a long winded way of going about things, but it still works to an extent.  I still have three distinct groups of people interested in what I do, the blog readers, the book readers and the artwork peeps.  Until I add the gamers, I do not think this is getting me far at sufficient speed.
The artwork takes a very long time, and a lot of space in my house.  My eyesight is no longer perfect, which is kind of annoying, and I am already making changes to some things, like beadwork, as I know it will make this worse, so I think it will ultimately be phased out, although I still have two to three years worth of work to finish.
I am disinterested in some aspects of marketing, and even though the information is available, I do not use it.  I need to pay more attention to getting my name out and improve on my strategy, which has actually been fairly successful so far.
Deadlines are depressing, and I do not enjoy them any more.  I think the work is better when I do not set them, which renders me a keen amateur rather than the professional I perhaps ought to be.On a personal note

I need to be a lot less tolerant of timewasters and people who set out to obstruct what I am doing.  This has cost around six years of time over the last three.  If I include the time Wolfe wasted before I started this project, we can take that up to a decade of wasted time because I was weeping or worrying about people that do not give a shit about me.
I cannot afford to make myself ill with food again.
I need to get out now and again.
Sometimes it is better to stop what you are doing in order to get something off the list, just because it feels less cluttered
I need to sell some items that I have created (such as computers) in order to get the stuff I need  (such as software) I need to get an Ebay store going in order to shift some wool that I will never use for anything.
I have about thirty courses to finish, and it is far more important that I do this than anything else.
It is imperative that I do the Boris Experience project, as I think he is a more deserving and appreciative case than David Wolfe. There, I said it.
My ideas are better than I think they are, and it is time I appreciated me and stopped listening to other people at all.
My health is more important than ANYBODY

Rant over for today
Priorities

Mandala carpet and Perfect Posterior finished and on Etsy
Market the screen and Honey I made you an icon from the website
Set up Ebay wool store to shift some unusable wool
Sell at least three computers
Build another two computers
BORIS!!!!!!
Best Adventure Ever
Courses

Then I need to up the marketing effort and put out a short story every week, building the youtube channel and finding an alternative audio stream since Ina has no face.

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The Perils of Responsibility

The Perils of Responsibility

I have previously written about the sin of kindness.  Nice guys and gals really do finish last, and thanks to a culture of contempt for anybody who takes care of anybody else, it is really not wise to stop and take care of anyone.

 

Having children is also unwise, since you are effectively producing taxpayers at the expense of your own wealth.  Although I have never begrudged the unemployed, elderly or disabled their pittance, I have frequently wondered, back in the days when I worked 20 hours a day for actual money, why I should pay for other people’s children to enjoy school and healthcare when I cannot afford children myself. Why should I pay for everybody else to get what I was told I should not have, since I was dumped with the job of taking care of my parents and this house at the age of 25.

 

I would have liked to have children.  I worked very hard for a career.  I would have liked a pension.  I am to have none of these things, thanks to my caring for my parents.  My siblings, who effectively announced that they wanted nothing to do with taking care of them, told any number of lies to make my life in Glasgow impossible, on the assumption that I would have no option other than to play family whipping boy forever.

 

Things are somewhat different now.  I have ensured that I need never suffer the sight of them again, and they are still able to visit their mother in her own self-contained room in the lower house.  I have worked on the Ina Disguise project for two or three years, and whilst I eventually had to give up working to take care of mother, I did not claim the benefits I was entitled to for several years after I really ought to have stopped to take care of everything.  When my mother had the stroke, I was working three jobs, one full time, and two part time, whilst taking care of my parents and their property.  All the time my siblings did nothing, and continued to invent more lunatic stories about me.

 

I have no idea how I will respond when she dies.  My day consists of a list of things to do for her, timings for doing them, which vary, interspersed with creative work, which she enjoys watching, and thinking about future writing.  (the hard drive is definitely finished, by the way, which means I will have to restart Best Adventure Ever and Lucifer Ogilvie again) I have no hope of making money out of either, currently, and so I worry, as I have for several years, that I am to be left homeless with no pension.

 

You would think somebody in this situation would consider this, but they do not.  I am stupid for taking care of her, ‘nobody asked you to do it’ is the family motto, and my mother seemed to imagine for several years that Prince Charming would appear at the front door to make the problem simply vanish.  It never entered her head for a minute that my being stuck in this house for most of my adult life was a problem, or that I should be considered in any way.

 

Of course, since it is inevitably a career politician that makes decisions on how carers are to be dealt with, it must make perfect sense to have people imprisoned in their own homes, earning £60 per week for a 24 hour a day commitment, in my case unable to get the free help I am entitled to as a carer because it would put my mother’s life and property at risk from the local council. Hence, through other people’s stupidity, my hard work in the course of my life has been utterly wasted for other people, and there is no chance of financial recovery.

 

This is very dispiriting, and yet I keep trying.  There is no way of discussing it with anybody, because I do not know anybody who genuinely cares what happens to me.

 

I have wondered whether I should perhaps give up Ina Disguise and do a sensible but dull course leading to a sensible job for the pre-elderly, such as funeral advice, or financial back office work. I could do such courses from home, instead of what I am doing.  I cannot help but think this is a good idea, and does anybody really care whether this project keeps going?

 

Then I think that I already had to give up two post-graduate courses for my parents, that this fits around the constant roller coaster of stress, and that not many people would tolerate this life for very long, never mind try to achieve anything.

 

At least my sisters were unable to inflict themselves on any children I would have had.  That is a blessing.

 

 

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Progress Report

Progress Report

 

The Mandala is progressing well, if slowly and the new addition is looking quite nice.  I think it will be a good piece of work.  I have purchased a replacement 20 kilos or so of wool, and have my eye on a place selling it by the ton. The tiling on Wolfish continues to go slowly but well, although I am not sure how I will assemble it without help as it is 8 feet tall.

 

No progress so far on the books, I am still wrestling with three computers.  Two of them can be finished as soon as I get to them, and the other one I think I will sell for parts, as the motherboard seems to need replacing.  Whilst this is not difficult, it is not cost effective to save the rest of it.

 

My friend has finally gone home, and I have been on supermix for about a fortnight, as previously mentioned.  I feel a lot better and my clothes are indicating that I have shifted some weight, which is always nice. The eyebags, from stress, are lifting and altogether it is a relief not to be providing treats for the never-ending houseguest.  I think I will spend today on the garden and cleaning up after the messy bit of the mandala carpet.

 

I am wondering what to do about a friend who suffers from psychosis.  Normally I just remove myself until it passes, but the prolonged episodes seem to be worsening, and since he usually chooses to attack me first, I do not feel particularly safe.  It is very difficult to know what to do.

 

You would think, given my mother’s unpredictable and delusional family, that I would be used to this, but I am not.  It is very difficult to know what to do when somebody is psychotic.  They insist that your wishes are subordinate, that there is nothing at all wrong with their need to do whatever weird thing that pops into their head – whether this is merely irritating, to extremely dangerous and unnecessary.  It always has a cost, and they never pay it.

 

You get tired of being lied to, you get tired of the mean-spirited selfishness, and you get particularly tired of the violence that inevitably follows.  I am no longer willing to put myself at risk from someone who has physically attacked me twice, and wanted to hundreds of times.  I cannot help this person, and as a psychiatrist who once treated him said, pursuing a cure is pointless because that, in itself, produces psychosis.

 

So, the only thing I can do is keep the doors locked and avoid this person.  I dread to think what he is doing to some unsuspecting victim from the comfort of his flat.  In the past he has made complaints to damage the life of people he has met only once.  You can imagine how worrying this is when you have had this person around for any length of time.

 

So that is today.  I am sorry to say that you are best to avoid such people.  It is a shame, because they need company to ensure that they do not damage themselves or other people.

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Some people are best left behind

Harry, from Best Scandal Ever, got in touch today, and immediately demanded a phone call.
Since the last time I spoke to him was in the middle of the family crisis, when my siblings tried to rob my mother, and he declined to either be supportive or help, I was wary.  I was right.
It always alarms me when I discover that people that I have spent years of my life with, have not listened to or correctly interpreted anything that I have said.  To be fair, I often give up speaking, especially when the hearer is racist, stupid, inadequate, or just plain nasty.(Harry only fits into two of these, I am speaking generally.)
As a very shy person – I have only really stuck my face out of my shell to experiment with cross-marketing for Wolfe’s benefit – I did not start out in life as a particularly outgoing person.  Not that I am particularly reticent when I want something badly enough, or when I am in a managerial role, but I am not one of the world’s great socially dominant characters.
For several years I spent time with a number of male friends who I regarded as social equals, and treated them as such.  They apparently did not agree, and spent their time with me looking for problems.  Harry announced in the course of our conversation that I was a cold hearted economist, and that he was immensely surprised that I have a social conscience.  I have at no point demonstrated otherwise.
It alarms me that for some people, the deconstruction of a concept is meaningless.  The great comfort of economics is that you look on people as performance units rather than thinking, feeling beings that you have to care about.  This has no implications for applied economics, which is what one’s government is supposed to practice. It simply means that there is the mathematically correct option, and then there is the applicable option.
I hid my various talents on the basis of the response from Aldous and his brother Harry, who assumed that as what I did was done by someone they knew, it must be substandard or insane.  Little did I know that they were making a personal statement.
At one point in his attempt to con me into getting in touch with him, Harry assured me that I was not that bad.  I do not require his validation.  I should never have waited for anyone’s validation.  You can imagine what it is like when your family and friends have an attitude like this, especially when you have already declined to connect with the wider community.
Beware of your shyness, as you are shutting out people who might actually make some effort to understand you with an open mind, rather than allowing their own hang-ups to make you miserable.  There are always people who will seek to make you unhappy, deliberately, or just to ensure that they have some company in misery.  Haters gonna hate, you need to quickly learn when to put rubbish firmly in its place.
Again I have cause to thank Wolfe, for being imperfect, for teaching me how to revel in my own imperfections, and for freeing me from a state of mind where I was unable to flourish, and where nothing would have ever seen the light of day.  Thanks to him, I love me, never mind him.

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