Well this last year has been quite educational.  Only having spent much time with athiests I had not been around religious people much at all in recent years.

This year has changed all that, we have had the evil Hindu, who was actually the most morally upstanding of the three.

An immoral Christian, who apparently found it pleasant to attempt to commit adultery whilst telling me how inferior everyone else was.

A polygamist Muslim, as a person my favourite at the moment.

Of all of us, I with no practised religion, actually come out on top for moral behaviour, although it is interesting how Asian and Middle Eastern people see morality.

It all seems terribly Catholic to me, the idea that your fate is in God’s hands, so there is very little you can do about being a weak little human.  Almost as if your religion is an excuse.

Oddly, in terms of doing the right thing, the evil Hindu wins.  The Muslim, whilst a far nicer person, is more arty about it, finding flowery reasons for things that I can only dream about, and the Christian was a dismal failure.

For my next trick, I will be going out into the wider community for a large scale project designed to solve a number of problems at once.  Ina will not be joining me on this trip, although I now have several useful skills.

I want to hear from Little Shiva aka Staring Brat 2.  Inadisguise@mail.com or betterpersonproject@gmail.com. You don’t have to talk to me in person unless you want to.

Thanks,

Ina

Okay, I said I would write a post, and here it is.

Love is not what you think it is.  I always wondered about traditional models of love, that of partnership, jealousy, possession, role playing etc and I did not like what I saw. It was not until I found my soulmate that I got to the bottom of it, in all respects.  For those who want to read about that, the Best Scandal Ever Series is the direct route to thought process over about five years or so.

Wolfe was the perfect candidate because there was no danger of us getting together at that time because I was not developed enough to fully grasp the philosophy, despite living by it.

I was correct in my assumption, fairly early in life that what we think of as love starts with us wanting to have something in us that the other person has.  That can be a characteristic, a quality, a perception.  We thrive on learning, and so love occurs when we want to learn something from the other person.

What people often think of as love is the need to procreate, the desire for companionship, the drama of the day to day.  None of these things are truly anything to do with love.  That is to do with lack.  Plato deals with this beautifully in the Symposium, video below although I seem to remember the 8th minute or so being significant.

I read this to death in my youth, so I am well acquainted with it.

Anyway, true love is about inspiration, it is not about being with the person at all.  Thus my true love was Wolfe, a person I neither wanted to bother by actually being there, nor change.  If you are fortunate enough to be with your inspiration, you then have to figure out how to be an equal partner in the force you create.

We are all forces of nature, and you choose the level of force you want to exude.  I am capable of far more than I have been encouraged to expect, and so the aberration of falling in love with Wolfe on really very little input was about growth and potential, both his and mine.

What you need to get away from is the idea of togetherness.  Togetherness is nothing to do with it.  Looking at yourself and figuring out what you don’t have and the object of your affection does have makes the process far less tedious and far more rewarding.  It also takes away issues of timewasting drama, ownership, jealousy and other more negative aspects of being in love.

You may find this a rather lonely way to look at it, but if you take this healthier view of what love is, it is far easier to lose the need for attachment.

Buddhists will tell you that it is not love, loss of love, end of love that causes unhappiness, it is attachment.  If you remove the attachment from your feelings of love, you not only free yourself from unhappiness, you allow yourself to grow.

This is what I want you to do.

I want you to experience love without attachment.  I want you to focus on what you feel you lack, and I want you to take the opportunity to learn about yourself.  Stop thinking of it as a burning need, and start thinking of it as an opportunity.

As an example, despite trying to move on with life, I won’t stop loving Wolfe as long as I continue to grow, which is probably never, and even if it isn’t never, I will be eternally grateful for not being lonely any more.  Neither he nor I have to actually do anything at all for that to be the case.

This does not mean I cannot love someone else, it means that the intangible exists.  It does not involve emotional infidelity of any kind.  Love is far bigger than almost all religions allow us to believe.

(FFS Wolfe, I’m weeping again. Hope I made a better job of it this time.)

The lovely effusive man was also married.

That’s four in a row, and I think I will give up now.

Even after all that stress, Staring Brat 2 was still the most appropriate in terms of wit level and response.

Sigh. Shame on him.

I think I will stick to cats and making chairs.  Very sad and weepy.

I have to work five jobs to avoid losing my income when some married dude goes mental and gets me fired.  I’ve worked hard to get nowhere.

Developing some vegan fast food, building a management structure for a business, mentoring ten small businesses, taking on the troubleshooting for another international business for no money and developing Ina’s first shopfront, so quite busy just now.  The chair is getting made whilst I work for another start up.

I’m fed up coming last. I’m a nice lady, I don’t deserve this BS.