Tons of work to do at the moment. I have material to finish, once the stuff finally arrives, work to do on some areas at home, administration stuff to get out of the way before the cabling finally arrives for Boris, and Boris himself is still being perfected. I want him to look as good as possible before we commit to film.
I frequently enjoy my home a bit too much. It is a joy to live in, and I am very grateful for the many years I put in earning the right to be here. I do, however, miss my parents.
My father, as I have previously mentioned, had a fascinating life. A rebel’s rebel, he did not even tell my mother what he went through, and when I told her some things after he died, she was extremely shocked.
He would be delighted at how things have turned out, and so I regard everything I do as being as much for him as for me. It is a lot of work for one person, but if you love your surroundings as much as I do, it does not feel as much as it probably is.
There is a lot going on, so it is a bit like an endless game of Tetris.
Today is remediation and administration. My local council owes me a few hundred pounds that could be spent on other things. This I will put towards some further developments.
In the meantime, I have to get this batch of irritating work out of the way to move on to more progressive work. Ina’s future really depends on the decisions I make right now. I have relaxed a little since Christmas due to shell shock, however I cannot spent two years grieving as I did for my father. I am not sure if grief is easier after a few people, or whether I will suddenly find that I feel just as bad.
I am just aware that I do not want other people to experience threats and frankly disgraceful behaviour from so-called professionals, and I do not think carers should have to tolerate what they go through on top of the emotional stress of being a carer. It is a dangerous and stressful roller coaster.
I also have to pin down our activity when the cabling finally arrives, so that we can get our introductory work out of the way in an extremely short timeframe. The more work I can get out of the way the better.
I think right now, however, I will enjoy some quality time staring at the flower garden whilst I construct today’s gameplan. It is important to me not to have to discuss these things with the IBM (incredibly beautiful man) should I ever be able to persuade him to visit. Some things aren’t worth the airtime.