Well, so far, I have failed to be sufficiently robotic for two competency based interviews. The last time I had to extensively interview was some time ago, and I can tell you things have really been dumbed down for the millennials.
The humanity and any actual brain use requirement has been removed from competency questions, so now you are given a pre-selected format which you prepare in advance using the STAR format
Situation – Losing my job because of a wannabe Mr Ripley
Task – Having to start again in an alternative career because the stupid fucking moron managed to destroy any prospects whatsoever in the one I wanted by repeatedly bitching about his own inability to communicate effectively, backed up by weak management.
Action – Spending all my time looking for alternatives to the point of being unable to do anything else with my time.
Result – Still looking for new opportunities! How exciting! Thinking positive!
I have so far been insulted twice, once because my degree offended some minor office worker, who could not understand that people with degrees also have to work (there are a lot of those) and the other several times because I looked after my mother.
Yeah, because being abused by moronic nurses who know nothing about nutrition, watching your mother being fed fucking poison and shrinking to a small white husk because her eldest daughter is a screaming nutjob and has an unshakable belief in Marks and Spencer ice cream is is hilarious. Spending your best years stuck in a house twenty four hours a day isn’t work at all.
So yeah, things are going great. I am halfway through solving half the problem, and about a third of the way towards solving another quarter. We shall see if I can get the mobility and public-facing angle sorted at the same time, because that would be helpful. For a painfully shy person, I am remarkably good at pretending to be larger than life when I have to.
This is something plebs don’t understand. One’s ability to put on a show is unrelated to one’s level of confidence. Quite a few people hated the constant sunglasses in my previous employment. Only two people knew that the reason for them is because I was in tears quite a lot and it was the only way of getting to the computer, and it wasn’t the obvious people.
The rest of tonight is going to be spent on moving the not-leaving-the-house element of my new employment package on a step. If I am fortunate the main income will also not involve leaving the house, in which case I do not need to bother with people ever again.
The public-facing element I might head into town and go and talk to them in person, because they are unlikely to understand the package unless I am there in person. Hilariously, I tried on some clothing today and after losing 83lb, I am still a bit too larger-than-life, so I guess at least I will save money on any actual food.
Two banks are still sniffing at the door, both because of my snob value. I quite fancy private banking, but who knows if that is even possible now. My back problem is telling me not to spend all day in a chair, so we shall see what happens.
And then there is the wild card. I hope he remembers me, because if he does I may have something very special. I’m not hugely confident, because we last saw each other through a crack in a door, but we shall see how he feels about giving me a shot at his project.