So how am I?

This week has been emotionally eventful.  My friend is away again, probably for a fairly long period this time as I was having serious episodes with my chest and overall health.  This is a good thing for my health, and a bad thing for my emotional well being as he is good at distracting me from my screwed up life.


My friend is a foodie, and my friend has an unnatural capacity for consuming large amounts of conventional food.  He completely refuses to eat raw, although I managed to persuade him for a month or two when I was raw and he looked far better.  He seems to have some sort of aversion to vegetables generally.


Unfortunately, this meant that he refused to listen when I asked him several times not to bring food to the house.  It is surprisingly easy for me to cook for mother and eat raw as long as I omit key foods that I know I cannot share space with.  As with any drug addict, you just avoid situations or spaces when you will be confronted.


I am not particularly neurotic about it.  When not raw, I am low carb so this is pretty flexible. I do not think that it is too much to ask to have control over the food that enters your house when you do not get out for years on end.  My friend was good for making this easier, in the form of us getting out slightly more often as he was helpful with mother.


It is not getting to complete a thought or finish a sentence that wears you down.  It is being basically laughed at for wanting a bit of consideration in the house you are responsible for.  This is enough to make me give up, particularly as I seem to have long term low grade depression after the Wolfe thing.


The Wolfe thing really started after my family spread a lot of lies around in the hope of taking my mother’s money.  Before this, it was not oppressive.  After this, it was the only nice thing to think about. They have not stopped lying and bitching all the time I have been giving up my life for hers.


The good thing about this situation is getting lots of work out.  He really does have a touch of magic when it comes to self-expression.  His very existence is about ‘doing it till they stop you,’ which is rather helpful if you are a shy geek. I still suffer from chronic anxiety, but it gets poured into getting work done.


Obviously the confidence crisis curtailed a lot of heavier academic work, but I am hoping the transition to Boris Johnson will cure that.  In the meantime I have a huge pile of half finished artwork to do, and a lot of writing to catch up on.


I am still at a loss to explain the unblocking on Twitter.  I haven’t checked facebook.  There are a number of possible reasons, coincidence, Twitter fault, somebody else managing the account and unblocking everyone.  I am not sufficiently presumptuous to assume that anything has changed.


Having said this, I have finally come up with a proper name for the mandala.  I have just extended it, so it will take a little longer, but I think we finally have our first really iconic piece on the way. I would be grateful if someone makes sure he actually gets to see a picture of it when it is complete.


I would have liked to do something more academically serious for Wolfe, but I guess things have turned out the way they were supposed to.







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