Well, readers, it looks as if my mother is to be killed in line with Scottish NHS policy after all.

According to the nurses on the ward that my mother is in following a GI bleed (they are treating her for heliobacter pylori)  the district nurses have a file on my mother and the social work department have ‘raised concerns.’

This is likely to be either the spurious concerns raised by nurses who were frustrated in their attempts to inject my mother with painkillers as they had been told she was sent home to die after her last trip to hospital, or concerns that I do not want the house full of carers and nurses who do not do very much but at any time feel free to make vile reports for the purposes of keeping us under investigation.  When you become upset by this, they then make further statements about you.

They do this to enable the social work department to repeatedly enter your home and make further vile statements because this is how they build a case to procure money from the elderly.

We have had false statements about cats, false statements about clutter, which was there because of them, statements about me being neglectful by leaving the room when they are in the house for five minutes.  This is how social work operates if you were stupid enough to work and have a home they can seize.

Now the NHS feel that as my mother is 90 with dementia, she should be killed.  The last ridiculous conversation with a district nurse had her asserting that I was to do as I was told, and the NHS was to determine my mother’s death in her ‘best interests.’

If my mother was unhappy, had a painful illness or was otherwise in danger of generalised misery, I could see their point.  As it is, they seem to be operating on a quota system.

The deaths from Alzheimers in Scotland went up by 31 percent in one year, so this is clearly NHS policy.

Sadly for my mother, this now means that it is probably too dangerous for her to return to her own home.  I have had six months of this now, and I am not putting myself or her home in this position any more.

Why is it not possible for a lady to live in her own home with her daughter who dotes on her, without all this?  Do these people consider how they would feel if I was to walk in and tell them that I was going to murder their parents and there was nothing they could do about it?  Probably not.

I have had good reason to become extremely mistrustful of the social work department and the district nurses over the last ten years.  Now they are going to kill my last remaining relative, since my siblings are not people anyone sane would want to be related to.  In the meantime I have to protect what the cats and I have left, not that I will get any thanks for it.

It is astonishing that mincegate is likely to be mentioned.  My mother hates mince, has not eaten it for years, but because my drunken sister wanted to feed it to her, an extensive investigation was carried out to determine whether she liked mince, to the point of her having to tell two people that she did not like it.

Such is the love of meat eating in Scotland.  Drinking some fruit constitutes abuse, even if your nutritional quality is far and away superior to a plate of mince.

Fuck Mince, and fuck the people who take pleasure in murdering the elderly for a living.

So, as usual facebook is full of aggressive and extremely stupid scientard Americans picking off what they imagine to be ditsy hippies and religious nuts by making disgusting comments about their children and their opinions.

I have no children, and I don’t care if you inject your children or not, so let’s clear that rumour up.  What does concern me is the blithe disregard for personal choice these immensely stupid people have.

Having had no less than three doctors assert that my mother is on the hitlist just for being 90 this week, I am probably more aware than most how dangerous it is to give power to the medical community.

I have been pointing this out to these people today.  If you make  vaccines and other injections mandatory, you lose the right to ask what is in the injection, and you lose the right to say no.

Not one of these people have chosen to engage me on this issue of personal choice.  Instead they continue to hurl abuse, even though I have made it clear that they are welcome to inject their children with whatever they like.

As usual this comes down to a question of philosophy.  Have we educated populations so poorly that they cannot see that the real question is not about vaccines at all, but about your rights as an individual to say no?  It is not about infectious disease, but about a corporation’s right to make profits based upon forcing people to do something that is deemed by others to be good for them?

This idea may be welcome to people so conditioned to stupidity that they believe everything they are told, but it is extremely dangerous for the future of humanity.  Doctors in Nazi Germany were more than happy to conduct experiments on prisoners of war.  It is an essential part of the training to carry out orders.

Do you want to live in a world where you are told what to eat, what to have injected into your blood, what to worry about, what insidious activities you have to perform to earn enough to live another day?  This is the era we live in, and it gets worse every day with more and more attitudes like this.

As I said to one of the scientard bretheren:

I suggest we give all stupid people a mandatory injection of poison.  You’ll be first in the queue then.

My mother is 90.  She has dementia, she spends a lot of time sleeping, but otherwise, since her change of diet, she is not in pain, she is happy to be alive and apart from her recent episode, her immune system is better than it has been in some years.

Why then, am I being told by every doctor I speak to, that she is to be ‘eased out?’  Why did two nurses become irate when I refused to allow them to start the painkilling/death process, and why has her recovery caused such consternation?

The first thing I was asked when we arrived at hospital this time was whether I wanted her to have any treatment.  The next doctor I spoke to said that if it happened again, they would be ‘easing her out.’  A third doctor, this time a consultant, spoke about making her comfortable and letting it happen.

Why is this even being considered, for a lady who is happy and who has a devoted carer?

The statistics for Alzheimer’s deaths showed that in one year, deaths from Alzheimer’s increased by 31 percent, way above anything that could be considered a coincidence.  My mother does not have Alzheimer’s.  She has dementia, and apart from her physical debility, is a bright and chatty woman.

This weekend, they decided that she had aspirated (highly unlikely, since her swallow is fine, it is more likely that she has sucked on her straw too hard)  and she was left nil by mouth for three days because the SALT team do not work on weekends.  This is exactly how they killed my father.  He went from being a talkative plump man to a skeletal gibbering mess in a very short period of time thanks to painkillers administered by NHS staff for the purposes of making him easier to handle.  I have repeatedly told them that I do not want this to happen to my mother, and I put a great deal of time and money into making sure that it doesn’t.

She was also said to have blood in her stool, and when I investigated the stools, they smelt strongly of charcoal.  A day or two after this, iodine had been put in the catheter, so that she apparently had purple urine.  I was accused of causing this by giving her ‘funky drinks’  Her drinks are carefully and expensively made to improve her functioning so that she can eat.  Rather than ask questions about how this might be achieved for other people, I have been repeatedly attacked and insulted whilst they ignore anything I say and refer to science that does not actually exist.  (see previous post ‘Scientard’)

Why would anyone take a career in medicine in order to ignore the issue of health or nutrition?  Why do these people think they have the right to kill my mother?  I have seen this done three times already.  Is this actually official NHS policy?

In your quest for a long and happy life, you should consider the matter of what happens when you are over 80.

I say this because I have seen how other people regard the elderly, and it is not a pretty sight.

My mother is back in hospital following a gastric bleed.  It was quite dramatic and she required a transfusion, but is recovering.

Last night, at around 2am, I was asked, very nicely, whether I wanted her to have treatment.

“Yes,” I replied, “I believe she is quite fond of being alive.”

In the last ten years, I have, as many readers will know, lost my father, my uncle, my best friend.  None of them had entirely natural deaths, although in the case of my 89 year old best friend, she was bored.  She said once she had lost interest in TV and was immobile with lung cancer, that she just couldn’t be bothered.  Lung cancer at that age is very depressing for the sufferer.  She went from being able to drive herself around to dying within twelve months.

She did say that she felt that her lung cancer had been caused by repeated x-rays of her chest.  I would agree that the policy of repeatedly x-raying people is not wise, however she had been a keen smoker up to the age of 80.

In the case of my father, he required occasional trips to hospital to have oxygen.  This was enough to have him taken to the local ‘ending’ unit, which thankfully no longer exists, and to be drugged into submission for four months whilst he starved to death.  There was no need for this to have happened, and my request to take him home was ignored.

In the case of my uncle, he was a frighteningly fit man who had the misfortune to suffer from a UTI, from which he recovered well before they transferred him into a freezing cold ward where he immediately got pneumonia and died within a week.

Today, I was informed that my mother would not be getting the same treatment again in the future, because she is 90 and has dementia.  My mother is a very happy lady, as we would all be if we were waited on constantly.

With my economics hat on, yes I can see why the NHS is deciding to off people who have paid tax all their lives, particularly as some people would keep you alive forever even if you didn’t want to be.  With my personal hat on, I am getting a bit fed up being challenged whilst I make my mother’s life as pleasant and easy as possible.

I had an argument with one of the visiting nurses, who complained that I had not complied with her staff in phoning the doctor earlier when I thought she merely had an infection.  This would have been utterly pointless, since she did not have an infection, and the fact she was throwing up blood would not have come to light had I not been closely observing her vomit – she was drinking plums before it started.  No thanks to anyone but me that she is still alive, but as usual I am to be berated for it, and it will be used against me, probably in court given the outlandish lengths people that I do not wish to have in my home seem to be going to in attempting to damage myself and my mother.

So, health food fans, as you pursue your quest for immortality, you must consider how you are going to pay for your medical care after the age of 80, and I imagine this cut-off will be reduced as time goes on.  It is only a matter of time before poison tablets are sold in chemists for the purposes of removing yourself from the world if you aren’t enjoying your branded plastic paradise.  You certainly won’t enjoy the benefits of long term paying into any systems, and you cannot, with the best will in the world, depend on your health remaining perfect, particularly if you have not always eaten perfectly.

So, as you invest in your health, consider investing in that nest egg that you will need for medical care from unwilling professionals.

I have been listening to people talking about narc abuse again today.  It strikes me that there is a theme of adults not willing to be adults running through it.

Many of the problems associated with a relationship with a narcissist are really about expectations.  Many of the issues raised are about how things should be with a ‘normal’ relationship.  There is no such thing as a normal relationship.

Let us go through a few of the problems you are likely to face as a partner of a narcissist.

The idealisation phase:

Love bombing:  Personally, as someone who has had a narc around since birth, (sister)  I am well used to being the focus of attention from an empty vessel.  Even when they are flattering you, it is to establish the importance of their opinion, so it is wise to ignore everything.  When I am on the receiving end of gushing, I tend to cut through it very quickly, so that it is impossible to achieve the ‘perfection’ that the narcissist craves with these interactions.  Dominance is dominance, whether it is sweet or sour.

Alarm bells ought to ring the minute you hear how awful their exs were – non-narcs grow out of this by the time they are thirty or so, usually earlier.  In rare cases the exs actually were awful, but with practice you will learn to tell the difference and find ways of exploring the issue by asking what the nice exs were like.  When your narc tells you that they are kind and giving, they are referring to this early phase of the relationship, in which they actually are kind and giving.  They aren’t lying to you, they are just trying to forget the bad bits where they did not get what they wanted, which was an unreasonable level of perfection.

The devaluation phase: 

If you have established that love bombing has no effect, then devaluing is likely to fall on fallow ground as well.  The only other way to get around this is to be better than expectations, and if you look on it this way then your relationship with your narcissist is likely to be more of a personal challenge than a burden.

If they are talking trash about you to other people, it is the typically immature ‘love me’ plea of a teenager, so you find something else to do.  Obviously in some situations it is quite extreme – I will not allow my sister anywhere near me following a false police report, for example – but this is just an extreme example of the same behaviour that these people have adopted since puberty, so I am not sure why all these victims are unaware that they have been dealing with a child rather than a person.

Some people are just promiscuous, whether they are narcs or not.  Jealousy, whilst perfectly natural, is a choice.  You can decide that you are more important than a casual fling, and then make a further decision as to whether fidelity is a priority or not, in which case you are with the wrong person.  You are then free to terminate the relationship and move on.  It is either that or a lot of tiresome negotiation to see if your partner wants to try and be faithful or not. Speaking as someone who is faithful – other people just aren’t that important to me – I have tried official forgiveness and it is largely futile – so either you don’t mind them spreading it around or you leave.  Official forgiveness tends to lead to violence because your narc will not understand that it is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

Discard:

Assuming that by now you have figured out that you are dealing with a selfish, abnormally young and carefree person who is too busy to bother with what you want, you ought to know that this relationship is not permanent.  It does not mean that the narc is evil, controlling or a bad person.  It just means that you made a poor decision in the first place in tolerating what has been a rather extreme training for the rest of your life.

Finally, a lot of people displaying narcissistic behaviour do not actually have NPD.  Being at the wrong end of a narc makes you extremely tough and extremely intolerant of mistakes.  If you wish to investigate futher, I recommend reading some books on CPTSD.  You will find the answers there.  Even if you are a narc, you will benefit from doing this, so I recommend you take this step into filling up that void where the emotional sharing should be. Narcissists tend to be insecure, frightened and lonely as a rule.  They focus on other people to avoid themselves.  Instead of feeling victimised, try taking an adult role in your own choices.