A sad outcome of health awareness

Letter to my relatives

Apparently the combination of your totally ignoring her diet, and the fact that I wanted her to medically recover from her GI bleed has caused some considerable stress at the hospital.

You should be made aware that six months ago your mother came out of that same hospital with tissue paper skin, extremely thin and was on the point of being drugged on the assumption of imminent death by the district nursing office without anybody even mentioning it. I contemplated taking photographs of just how bad she was and now regret not doing so.

This is when I changed her diet, which has meant that her skin improved, her oedema went down and she has needed less antibiotics over the last six months than at any point in the previous 5-10 years. I am terribly sorry that you fail to find that impressive, but I cannot help you.

The social work department then decided to use this not particularly unconventional dietary approach in yet another attempt to attack me because one or more of you decided to try to blame me for her weight loss. Since you bought her jumpers more appropriate for a doll when in hospital, you had clearly noticed prior to your complaint to social work.

Despite her diet being cleared by two dieticians, one of whom came here on three occasions, the issue has now caused so much confusion for ward staff that I am no longer going to make any attempt to keep her well via her diet. You are, therefore, welcome to feed her anything you like as the ward is now responsible for her nutrition and they do not care. I have had to tolerate more than enough accusations from stupid, selfish people who could not care less about your mother or her health.

A new attempt to prevent your mother from returning home is now imminent. Several spurious incidents with the social work department have indicated that this is the case, and the general attitude seems to be that as your mother is ninety with dementia, her life is not worth very much and I am to be attacked until I stop caring. I could give you several examples of people saying this, but going by your ongoing attitude, it is not worth my time or energy.

In the event that they do this, your mother will be dying in exactly the same needless way as your father, so say your goodbyes now whilst she is awake. Be aware that every effort was made to avoid this outcome, at quite enormous personal and financial cost.

I have, as previously mentioned, no intention of watching a second parent be clinically drugged and starved to death to suit you or their miserable careers so you are on your own with that lengthy misery.

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