Preparation for becoming Dylan Mulvaney

So today I began the creation of Dylan Mulvaney.

His balls arrived today, however they will be used for creating his head, which will take the longest out of all the things I have to do before I launch him.  Boris took several weeks, and Dylan is going to be made a different way, which involves a lot of drying time, so I envisage by the time I am finished him, his genitals and his hands I will be a bit fitter.

I do have other things to do, so this will just be taking up valuable space for a while.  I also have to think about the clothes, the ultra conservative Maggie Thatcher bows around the neck, the wrinkles etc.

Managed quite a bit more work than usual this weekend, but am very tired now, so thinking about some of the songs I will need to write.

Being Trans is in danger of becoming a replacement for gay conversion therapy to the yank religious nutters, which is going to lead to a lot of sad sterilised people and probably, knowing America, more shooting.

It is interesting that as a man, Dylan hasn’t thought about the hundreds, potentially thousands of children that will be ruined because they will rush out and sterilise themselves.  Not very God fearing.

Presumably his friend, who also punts himself as trans despite having no intention of doing anything other than being stared at and maligning women, was the same friend that suggested this ill advised venture. They probably think they can remain trans without actually transitioning forever and nobody will notice.  Well, it is possible they will make a lot of money, or at least Dylan will, whilst being very unhappy.

It is all a bit tragic and a bit of a bore, since endless protesting whilst not actually doing anything constructive is a bit self defeating.

 

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In Support of Dylan Mulvaney

So,  I have been casually browsing this topic for a while now, because I do not appreciate having J K Rowling’s opinion rammed down my throat and as someone who has had more than one genuinely trans friend, I was unsure:

  1. Why there suddenly seems to be so many fake bandwagon trans people shouting irrational shit at everyone else.
  2. What impact this was likely to have on women, if any.
  3. What the endgame is for the fake bandwagon activists.

It turns out all this is pretty serious, so as a fake transperson taking opportunities from female sportswomen, amongst other things, you would think I would really hate Dylan Mulvaney.

Dylan Mulvaney is a Theatre school graduate who has made a great deal of money, and who stands to make a great deal more being pawpooolahr on social media.

A keen poisonality and pretend trans activist, Dylan and his genitals are currently making a lot of money pretending to be a trans person and hanging out with other pretend trans people.

The endgame of this particular movement seems to be to

  1.  Benefit the surgeons and medics currently involved in encouraging young people to sterilise themselves and cut all gender identifying bits off.
  2. Further the UN directive of decriminalising sex with children.
  3. Force compliance from the general population by celebrating this idea via their shopping habits.

None of which are things the general population are particularly keen on.

Recently, and rather suddenly we have seen things like

  • Men asserting they are lesbians and publicly accusing actual lesbians of bigotry because, surprise, surprise they do not want to have sex with men.
  • Men asserting they are into age play and forcing everyone, including prison guards to treat them as if they are a baby in order to benefit their sexual ‘health’
  • Men impersonating women and taking sponsorship opportunities from them.
  • Men trying to destroy female sport by loudly saying that they are women in order to win events, which makes female sport pointless.

Is a pattern beginning to emerge?

Real transpeople and the rest of the LGB community are not impressed by this at all.  There is strong evidence that the voices against these fakers is getting louder.  This is all about forwarding queer theory and the idea that everyone is interested in your fetish and nothing to do with genuine gender dysphoria.

Those who have called out these deviants as being fake are then accused of ‘bigotry’ in order to shut them up.

As a Scottish person, this is just normal life, people call each other out on ‘bigotry’ all the time here, and it is very rarely anything but abusive.

So as you can imagine, the genius of Dylan Mulvaney and his genitals had passed me by until he acquired the support of Proctor and Gamble.

Anyone who really wants to boycott Dylan Mulvaney now has to change quite a few major brands, Gilette, Colgate, Bounty, Pampers, Olay, Febreze etc.

Image

Back when Ina Disguise was first created, I was very keen on trying to persuade people that wanted to redistribute wealth and put the power back into their own hands to change their shopping habits. I was laughed at, because convenience was all that mattered.

Only when Dylan and his penis started becoming rich from those very same brands did people even think about changing their habits.

So I now support Dylan, his testicles and his fake girlhood, please give him all the money in the world to support Monsanto Bayer, Unilever, Apple, Astra Zeneca, Pfizer, anyone else who supports slavery, medicine that kills you, chemicals to control the population.

I had a wonderful art idea today, which will help my personal health enormously, because you have to be quite physically fit to be Dylan and his balls.

I am going to prepare, just for Dylan, a magnificent artistic tribute.  I have not felt this energised since before the Bawbag episode.  I can now get on with the existing work whilst I prepare my treat for Dylan.

In the meantime, please support Dylan and his penis in gaining the support of as many mainstream, ecologically and personally damaging companies as you can.  It is important for the future of your sterilised children.

Thank you all,

Ina

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OK so stage 1 is complete (health)

Health update.

Well I do not have detailed results, however we do have a reduction of blood pressure from 190/110 at its worst, when I was horrified enough to need but not get a GP to 140/80.

Headaches are pretty much gone, skin healing almost correctly, I do have a large jar of fermented young garlic, which I got from my favourite shop to get through, it has been fermenting for about six weeks so should be worth doing now.

Found a cheap source of kombucha to add to the main source of diet, I sort of like it, but not a lot so it is just a digestible addition to the mix.

No longer doing any fruit heavier than a berry, which suits me far better, as full force fruit such as pineapple was sending me off to lengthy sleep and I got a bit fed up struggling to stay awake, although my month or so of fruit seems to have done the trick with my liver as despite not changing shape all that much I am far more flexible than I was.

Basically the self repair so far seems to have focussed on bringing the swelling down, my face is sufficiently improved for me to be getting eyed/chatted up pretty much every time I’m out again, which is a bit of a relief as being invisible is not particularly good fun. A woman in her thirties who had no idea what age I was tried to insult me this morning, which was quite gratifying, so I got a bit of a laugh out of that.

There are some things, such as some burns I managed to incur because of pain and hot water bottles, which may take a bit longer to heal, so I think I will be hitting the vitamin E for that.

In terms of feeling a bit muggy and slow, this has almost entirely been eradicated by thinning my blood down, I have been careful to take this in stages, the full force supermix thins your blood quite a bit without adding the cloves and garlic, so I thought it was probably a bit high risk to do it all at once.  We are at the point of supermix plus cloves and garlic now and again at the moment, the next stage may involve a bit of mix and matching with big garlic salads so that my blood doesn’t get too thin.  I did this 12 years ago and ended up very arty and not very businesslike when I was doing everything at once, so you have to know what you’re doing a bit.

Pain considerably less and breathing much improved.  The only thing holding things back now is my unwillingness to deal with people, so a lot has to be done when they are not around.  More ready to tackle big tasks now, and I have quite the list to deal with.

I’m inclined to think the residual issues will dissipate when I start walking extensively again, which will have to be carefully managed as I dont want to land in bed again. I do have a kind of grumbling going on with the kidney, but I suspect this is a stone and will be watching the oxalates pending speaking to a doctor, which takes three weeks currently.

I kind of gave up after the Little Shiva episode because I was so upset.  Bawbag just tried to hammer a nail in my coffin, nobody is likely to get to affect me like that again.

Odd to find you have an emotional set up that corresponds to a batshit crazy criminal, but whatevs.

So total weight loss over the entire course of stage 1, with a year’s injury interruption has been 66, which was not so much fat as swelling and lymphatic issues.  Now the harder work starts to get the phagocytes and lymphocytes on the job.

Toodle pip.

 

Ina

 

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Greetings from This Week in Scottish Politics

So, not much has changed with the investigation, they are now looking into purchases of luxury goods to try and figure out what on earth the SNP under Murrell and Sturgeon were playing at.  I still find it hard to believe that anything has taken place beyond someone being considerably less competent than they were pretending to be.

SNP supporters appear to be reacting to this rather badly, they like to accuse you of being a unionist.  This, however is not new, as far back as when I did ‘the alternative Scotland survey’ they were unable to tolerate anyone wanting to discuss politics.  They tend to be fanatics, in the main, as opposed to being people who have a clue how to build a country.

Salmond has taken to appearing on right wing news alongside natural enemies Neil Oliver and Nigel Farage, this is really a sign of strength rather than weakness, he is then free to answer the most savage questions, in theory, in a public forum, which is a healthy thing to do.

Fergus Ewing has made a move this week, personally I am hoping the right wing splinter of the SNP hurries up and splinters off, in which case there might be something to discuss. More generally, the Scottish population needs to mobilise as we are going to see far more movement from the UK in terms of attempting to damage calls for independence.

Much horror was expressed at Humza wishing people a happy Eid, no idea why since it is only to be expected.

I see I am not the only one that wants rid of the Greens, who plan to relentlessly promote Queer theory, sexualising children and liberation of paedophiles from prison sentences at every available opportunity whilst damaging the oil and gas industry and making the drinks industry struggle to meet the demands of the Bottle Return scheme they are punting.  The sooner they get the boot the better.  As far as I can see, they are working for England.  I certainly don’t want to hear any more about their bullshit ideas about politics any time soon.

I am not sure why it is so difficult to just stick a non binary label on disabled toilets next to the sign of the wheelchair, let them have their own sports and most importantly categorise them as non binary for the purposes of crime statistics.  If we are going to entertain a mass dysphoria event, then that is the easiest way to do it. The reality for many of these people is that they are swapping their fertility in order to participate in the mass dysphoria event, which is being encouraged for some reason.

From a light browse of the material they seem to be offering, they intend to progress this sexualisation of children by forcing them to think about gender in a very narrow minded way and make actual body modifications, into discussions about age play, the UN have also mentioned decriminalising sex with children.  What sort of future are we looking at?  Why are people thinking that it is a good thing to support this?

As previously mentioned many LGB are horrified by this, and there is an increasingly loud level of complaint from them too.  If this keeps up, we will see a major shake up of economic interest groups, at a time when we really need to be monitoring governments, which is extremely worrying.

The tory party in tandem with DWP have announced that they plan to harass the disabled people that are still alive until they presumably also die.  I want to see a Scottish right wing call them out on their ‘progress’ before it is too late for the remaining disabled.

Health is still debatable, will find out tomorrow or Tues how things are going.

 

 

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Scotland Update and Fun with Womanface

Sorry, I was incredibly unwell for the last two weeks and not really doing anything apart from recovering, the infection turned out to be pretty bad.

I won’t go into details because the poison family aren’t entitled to that information and when you have a toxic and disordered family, you are never safe from potential harm.

Anyway, slightly better now, for those tracking weight loss, approximately 60lb since Nov 21, 33 or so recently.  I will be ditching the fruit in the next two weeks, whenever it runs out, after checking organ function more officially.  I have solved some problems thanks to getting a doctor that actually listened to me and the radical change in diet.

I do see from health trends that it is less revolutionary to say calories are fairly meaningless now than it was ten years ago, which is a giant leap forward.

Anyway, I prefer not to update when I am feeling rubbish as it doesn’t really help anything.

So, for my expat chums, Scotland is in a bit of a pickle thanks to Peter Murrell not keeping track of his sums, it has, of course been used by England to create the illusion that there is criminal intent behind the SNP as they cannot afford to let us leave.  Any sensible person is surprised they have taken this long to do this, they are shooting for a repeat of the crap they pulled in Eire.

As a former member of the SNP, I am less affected by this, I am more interested in new parties, I want to see a right wing that does the 3 Ms, Monarchy, military and money, that we need to achieve consensus, and a stronger and more sensible left than SSP or my cousins’ Revolutionary Communist party.  If my cousins happen to see this, sorry no I will probably never meet you in person but I was told about you.  The days that I would have found a cheery debate with a family that by all accounts weren’t terribly nice to my father entertaining are long gone.

Humza Yousaf, whom as anyone reading the blog for any length of time know thoroughly pissed me off with his inept Hate Crimes Bill, a bill designed to create as much friction as possible, is now First Minister and I cannot bring myself to care particularly.  I have been known to defend him on some things but I am sorry to say his idea of politics is not mine and he is not a particularly dipomatic or bright person, so I doubt he will be FM for very long.  It’s a shame, but given that he doesn’t rate women, not worth caring about.

Anyone serious about independence is now joining Alba, which is unfortunately republican.  If anyone thinks living in a tinpot state full of people prepared to shriek about working class rights and fuck everyone else is a good idea, then I am sure this will work out just fine.  For employed people, especially graduates, this is unlikely to help them at all, especially if they also insist on rejoining Europe.

The job I am in just now, which is not even a particularly unusual job, attracted 2000 candidates from one agency alone, and three were involved, all this post Brexit, so how they expect us to continue to pay for the other half of the population as non earners I do not know.

Alex Salmond has indicated that he prefers a more cautious member ship of EFTA as a faster and more expedient option, which is positive, but either way, at least they are considerably less cultish and happy clappy than the remaining SNPers.

England is, of course, circulating the usual hate speech about Scottish people, as they have been for several years, and the English reader doesn’t appear to be terribly critical, so the usual mound of misinformation.

In other news, Dylan Mulvaney is leading the womanface hate crew in wiping out women’s sport and sponsorship opportunities.  I, for one, welcome the gracious support of working class Americans boycotting the products of companies who apparently queued up to support this on the assumption that nobody over 25 would be motivated enough to change their habits, and everyone under 25 would have the money to make up for any loss of business.

How Nike thought using a wee boy with cotton wool would demonstrate the engineering of their bras I do not know, but I am sure they are glad he won’t actually participate in any inconvenient sport or pregnancy.

We are seeing increasing amounts of anti female violence, which is, of course, not covered by the Hate Crimes Bill, and so it is now legal to abuse someone on the grounds of them being white or genuinely female, as opposed to trans, but any retaliation by either of those groups is punishable by arrest, which as longer term readers will know was something we covered with Bawbag. (see haram bawbag for details)

For the many young people who do not understand this, women’s rights and LGB rights were fought by boomers following on from the civil rights struggle, nobody was at all phased by supporting Pride.  The objection now is to womanface, an intact male impersonating a small girl and taking jobs and opportunities from women, especially sportswomen who are now being told they cannot protest if a transperson with a hormonal advantage decides to prevent any biological women from achieving anything.

There are many LGB people who do not want to be associated with the trans ‘struggle’, lesbians being told they have to feign interest in transwomen (men) or be accused of bigotry etc.  I forsee it going back to LGBW at some point.

What finished the issue off for me was the discovery that transwomen (men) committing crimes are being recorded as female, which is destroying years of statistics on male/female crime.  Transwomen commit crime on the same basis and at the same rates as men.  The SNP have decided, quite wrongly, to taint decades of statistics with erroneous information due to their own bad politics.  Fuck them, frankly.

Of course the entire issue would simply go away if they just created a non-binary category, but nobody told them politics involved basic intelligence or common sense, apparently.

So yeah, it’s all happening in sunny Scotland.

We are coming up for Ina’s tenth birthday in May, I suppose I should remake the website by then, and maybe try and finish some work for the update.  I tend not to work when I’m miserable.  Also in May is the third anniversary of having an actual conversation outside work.  Getting a bit bored with this.  I did try dating for a while, but I lost interest in crap people pretty quickly. It’s just been one crap person after another for years, all things considered, you stop trying after a while.

Anyway, here’s a fun fact about me.  This came from having the most utterly shit siblings on the planet, and no I have never considered cutting my breasts off or wavered in being perfectly happy being a chick.

My gender test results

Greetings to the very paranoid Andrew Tate, whom I notice has visited the site of late.  No, I do not give a shit what you think, how awful for you. I suspect you don’t know how to think anyway. Usually people with your disorder hang around the site for several years, I would suggest you find something else to do. You have bigger problems.  I do have a friend in Sharjah you may be interested in, but I think he might find you too wee to bother with.

 

 

 

 

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Gwyneth Paltrow wellness and Long Covid

So a lot of people in the Long Covid community are scoffing at the interview released by Gwyneth Paltrow this week, accusing her of ‘promoting’ an unhealthy diet.

The only way in which this interview could have been construed as promoting anything is if you were particularly susceptible to celebrities.  She put out a video showing her as a little waif who lives on no calories just before her court case started.  This has backfired as a PR strategy as I, for one, would have not been at all interested in her silly court case had it not been for the Orphan Annie interview.

As someone who two months ago had a scarlet face and was too exhausted too do terribly much, I was interested as we are approximately the same age and are likely to be suffering from the same issues.

I took the approach I know about, which is to minimise the cost of taking a natural approach and ignoring all bullshit in favour of things I know have worked in the past.

The advantage of having had a compromised immune system at a very early age due to Glandular Fever, now known as Epstein Barre, coupled with a gender and weight disadvantage at the doctor, is that it makes you extremely self reliant when you do finally get around to fixing your health issues.

I was reading the tweets of a former athlete with Long Covid this evening.  Similar to Tories having their pension stolen under the cover of the Liz Truss episode, they are astonished to find that their additional capillaries due to their fitness actually puts them at a significant disadvantage when being attacked by Covid.

So I am talking a pragmatic approach to dealing with this issue, and the first issue I chose to deal with was breathing.  I have spent the best part of the last two months healing a fluid retention/lung issue rather than bothering with actual weight loss, have, for now, wiped out an ‘incurable’ issue one doctor refused to believe existed, whilst another flung some cream at me and smirked on a different visit.  I already had this knowledge, I was just too tired and grieving to actually use it.

The second issue which was rather pressing was my liver, and it turns out that due to my other health issues, low carbing was suppressing that because of anaemia and lack of vitamin c, so I chose to take a fruit based approach until this showed some improvement, which it has.  Again, it got worse before it got better, so it was sheer experience that told me this would work.

The dizziness, which was rather stifling as it makes you very wary of being far from a chair, is now gone as I also dealt with blood quality and consistency, and the stubborn issue of headaches is much improved. Blood pressure, which was fluctuating wildly, is now under control.

Today I was testing cloves, and whilst I somewhat overdosed due to listening to some advice from the Middle East, a couple of cloves a day along with the garlic and ginger is looking like a good plan too as this released some previously bound infection.

When doing this, it is a good idea to be in a position to have a lot of sleep, as your sleep demands vary wildly when your body is unaccustomed to being provided with the tools to fix things, so this can come on rather suddenly.  To go from being insomniac to sleeping 14 hours within a few short days can come as rather a shock if you are a creature of routine.

Finally, I would say so far, do not rush exercise.  I found the first time that I experimented with food that you are quite keen on exercise WHEN YOUR HEALTH IS GOOD ENOUGH, and not before, so rather than tell yourself you are lazy, keep trying an exclusionary approach until you hit the combination that works for you.  This is likely to be unique, so in terms of releasing a book on the subject, I will be taking much the same approach as I did to cooking, which is a loose framework rather than a set of rules.

There will always be stupid demotivational people who will try to talk you out of trying anything new.  From my experience, such people end up dead, so feel entirely free to completely ignore them.  They have no better option, they are just useless bottom feeders who probably do things like take advice from a wellness guru that in one breath claims to live on bone broth and in the next recommends duck bacon. Get such people out of your life completely.  I cannot tell you how much better life is without them.

 

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Low Carbing versus Raw Food

So, a year or so ago, I was training for another job in another office, which I was in for a year before I left and got the one I am in.  I was seated next to a boxer, who was about 20 and presumably flyweight.  We got on reasonably well before he decided to interrupt me to tell me how a low carb diet was anti inflammatory, at which point I decided to stop bothering with him.

As someone who has lost 150 lb on both of the above, I am probably in an unusual position.   I could have told him that the Inuits are the shortest lived population on the planet.  I could also have shown him pictures of why Raw Food won. I didn’t bother with either of those things, because he was so smug about the smackdown during the conversation and I didn’t want to bother telling him that at his age, I probably weighed less than he did and ran for four hours a day whilst drinking very heavily.

Anyway, I continued to low carb my way throughout my raw food phase, and achieved an unusually speedy weight loss of 70lb in the initial ten weeks followed by about a pound a day until I discovered cacao, at which point the weight loss stopped, an ex returned to demand my attention and all hell broke loose.

I can remember the day this happened.  He came into the house with three beautifully made coffee cakes and presented one to my mother and one to me.  It was a war of politeness which turned ugly quite quickly since I was frightened of him.  I remember standing crying in the kitchen because in order to avoid this situation I would have had to physically eject a person with brain damage from my home in front of my mother, who was rather delicate by that time.

There followed another 7 years of cooking for the pair of them and imagining I was somewhere else, because I clearly had no control over anything anymore so I might as well give up trying.  On the plus side he was very helpful with my mother, on the minus the ending was inevitable when he also died.

Out of everything I have done over the years, low carbing and raw food were the two most useful things I learned about.  The principle of low carbing is excellent.  Your brain does love fat, you get to eat fifty percent more than on a standard calorie restriction diet, and as long as you do plenty of physical activity, you burn fat quite readily.  Excessive meat, however, is not great for your digestion, and given the choice between the face I had after low carbing on a high fat meat based diet and the face I had after a raw food diet, there is no contest.

Then there is the issue of when you do not particularly want to participate in physical activity, whether that is because you don’t want to deal with people or whether you are just busy.  Low carbing is not great for your health if you do not want to move around.  I can attest to this as I have never returned to the consumption of sugar and starches of any kind and I do not find it difficult to put on weight low carbing as I apparently do not process maltitol at all well.  Protein bars, theoretically fine on a low carb diet, have felt like they were killing me three or four times now. My liver has been deranged on a low carb diet much the same way it would be deranged if I was eating giant cakes, possibly due to the maltitol issue.

I have not seen many pictures of people on a low carb diet in old age, I am not sure why this would be. Whether at a certain point people are eating so little in old age that they are put back on carbs, or whether they literally live like inuits I do not know.  All I can see online is a lot of American men who like going to the gym ramming their habits down everyone else’s throats as usual.

For aging well, raw food wins, because it is a high fibre, high hydration diet which accounts for a lot more variety of mineralisation and does not supply the same heavy proteins as a low carb diet.  The number of poops per day are very important once you are over forty or so, and it wins from this perspective as well. I can almost eradicate the naso labial crease entirely, whereas with low carbing with meat, this was quite pronounced, as most people only ever see your face, you can imagine this is fairly important. There are also more ways of modifying the fat deposits for the perfectionist.

Finally, I call it raw foodism rather than raw veganism because having done this before, there is absolutely no advantage to being 100 percent raw vegan.  Pescatarians live longer, and towards the end of my raw foodism, before being gifted with the responsibility for two sick people, I was using a lot of smoked salmon, seaweed and other maceration options rather than going down the route of fish oil. Raw food lends itself very well to the use of herbal medicine and superfood options, so this suited me far better.

All this I would have bothered telling the boxer if he wasnt a rude smug little shit, but as it was I got about as far as mentioning 8 calorie shirataki noodles before deciding that he wasn’t worth sharing information with.

He is still in the job I was in last year, probably.  I hope he hasn’t got more head injuries, head injuries are not fun to be around.

For those tuning in to see how the health is progressing, no headaches, woot and my liver is definitely functional again, I am managing about 2 litres of fibrous and for the moment fruity supermix, although we know this is likely to subside and become low carby flax/seaweed/raw vegetable based over time as I start with the next phase after the garlic and dark fruit phase.  I’m not terribly worried about weight loss so much as functionality for the moment, although we are about at the 2 stone mark now.

 

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The Pineapple Phase is ending

So, I am onto the last week or so of pineapples, and it has made a big difference, will be doing a self liver check next week to see if I have managed to achieve what I set out to.

In the event that I haven’t, its fine because the garlic phase and then the dreaded green phase will restore things.  This takes a lot of sleeping time, but I can definitely see a marked improvement in my face, and am able to do slightly more.

Sorry about the lack of updates, I am just incredibly busy and usually asleep apart from that.  Have had some interesting work experiences that I am absorbing at the moment.

Because of my normally slightly neurotic but now super neurotic diet, I have never had the blood oxygen problem, but other problems have been quite stifling, I am hoping that improving blood quality will deal with this, as it did 12 years ago.

Certainly leaps and bounds on the breathing issues, but I suspect they are connected to the liver, I did read some years ago about a condition where young overweight women were storing fluid everywhere and it had not been investigated or diagnosed because who in the medical community listens to an overweight woman?

The statistical answer amongst doctors male and female is nobody.

In considerably less pain and less stressed, so things are looking slightly up.

Ina

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The Garlic Phase

So, we are now entering the garlic phase, which was the first thing I did ten years or so ago when I dumped 70lb in ten weeks.

By the time I have completed the garlic phase, the walking phase will start, but feeling much better even at this point.  Massively improved breathing and sleeping and I have started work early on the garden this year.

Looked up a few old friends last night. I used to love being a lounge lizard,, but there is no doubt that this is not good for your spirits or your health.  Not for the first time I find I am still at the beginning of my life when other people feel they are at the end of theirs.

This is very sad.  I had no idea how badly the family had affected me until I had put sufficient distance between me and them, which has taken a very long time. My mother did apologise to me eventually, which I have to say is the most you can expect from anyone.  A lot of negative thought and poor self image went into producing me, none of it mine.

Still, now that I am finally at the end of the caring period of my life, since everyone is dead, I suppose this means I am the way most people are when they start out, which is selfish and impatient.  This is a considerable improvement of constantly proving your empathy and worthiness.  I don’t really feel I have anything left to prove in that department, so it makes it a lot easier to pursue positive outcomes. I guess you burn out your caring synapse eventually when you have it flung back in your face over and over again.

Most people did not have this kind of baggage dumped on them in the first place, so they start out judgy and impatient and end up softening.  It has been the opposite series of opportunity costs for me. Now if you waste my time, you very quickly find yourself in the past.

Probably just in time for me to expire, but never mind, all that matters is pushing forwards.

Chattered with a few Dior fans about making their own clothes this week, they appeared to quite enjoy it. Didn’t think this one would be such a hit.

Writing coming soon.

Ina

 

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Mixed Messages

So today I had a lengthy conversation with a woman that openly sneered at me throughout.

She was a beauty consultant in a Boots who had clearly never had any serious issues in her life and who was very preoccupied with her weight.

I provided her with some very useful information, which she was unable to hear because her face was so busy contorting into a sneering mask of contempt. I was explaining to her that low carbing would not work unless 1. your overall state of nutrition is correct for your state of health and 2. you are mobile.  I have for the last week been experimenting with vitamin c loading without changing anything else and despite some carb loading in the form of a daily pineapple, I have eaten more than usual and lost so far around 12lb, the opposite of what a low carber would tell you.  If your state of health is draining your vitamin C, no amount of low carbing is going to do anything but increase your acid indigestion to a frightening level.

I left feeling quite sorry for her.

Apart from that, I went into my favourite shop and purchased some tomatoes, I have not yet found any difficulties with achieving this apparently impossible-for-other-people feat because I do not rely on either a tomato supply or a supermarket.

So the person I had previously mentioned proceeded to eye me up, which I will now be studiously ignoring  because for one thing, he is allergic to cats, and for another it is obviously entirely meaningless. Having been through just this scenario on many previous occasions, it is not worth wasting the mental energy on. Nothing makes you feel sadder than a person that cannot, for whatever reason, make up their goddamn mind.

Besides which, had he wanted the opportunity to bother getting to know me, he would not have wasted it three weeks ago.

So off I went to the coffee shop and bought my coffee, asking the twenty something cashier what he could deduce from this.

He promptly volunteered for the very simple low effort favour I had been asking for without even knowing what it was.  Smart boy.  Clearly the younger team are a bit more adaptable when it comes to ditsy relative strangers needing favours.

In other news, I now have a much younger new car.  I had to travel to get it, as it was a once in a lifetime bargain, but as travelling has been pretty much non existent since the pandemic, I was quite keen.

I am also embarking on a new course or two, as previously mentioned, so rather busy. Still very demotivated about artwork etc, given that I have no new ideas about advertising it once made.  Fear makes everything pointless.

I should really be angry with Bawbag about this, since that is the reason I no longer trust anyone and do not want to do any more for the area I was working on. I’m not really though.  Bawbag was a sad case that couldn’t help himself but destroy anything and anyone he went near.  He will never recover.

Had an interview for an even lower effort but complicated and responsible job today, went reasonably well, may well do it. Shall consider the matter over the next week or so.

Ina

 

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