The Garlic Phase

So, we are now entering the garlic phase, which was the first thing I did ten years or so ago when I dumped 70lb in ten weeks.

By the time I have completed the garlic phase, the walking phase will start, but feeling much better even at this point.  Massively improved breathing and sleeping and I have started work early on the garden this year.

Looked up a few old friends last night. I used to love being a lounge lizard,, but there is no doubt that this is not good for your spirits or your health.  Not for the first time I find I am still at the beginning of my life when other people feel they are at the end of theirs.

This is very sad.  I had no idea how badly the family had affected me until I had put sufficient distance between me and them, which has taken a very long time. My mother did apologise to me eventually, which I have to say is the most you can expect from anyone.  A lot of negative thought and poor self image went into producing me, none of it mine.

Still, now that I am finally at the end of the caring period of my life, since everyone is dead, I suppose this means I am the way most people are when they start out, which is selfish and impatient.  This is a considerable improvement of constantly proving your empathy and worthiness.  I don’t really feel I have anything left to prove in that department, so it makes it a lot easier to pursue positive outcomes. I guess you burn out your caring synapse eventually when you have it flung back in your face over and over again.

Most people did not have this kind of baggage dumped on them in the first place, so they start out judgy and impatient and end up softening.  It has been the opposite series of opportunity costs for me. Now if you waste my time, you very quickly find yourself in the past.

Probably just in time for me to expire, but never mind, all that matters is pushing forwards.

Chattered with a few Dior fans about making their own clothes this week, they appeared to quite enjoy it. Didn’t think this one would be such a hit.

Writing coming soon.



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