If I was chocolate I literally would eat myself. Especially raw.
b
New book on the way
It is not the one I was expecting to write, but there is a new book on the way, which I think will probably not be free to the general public as it is a lot more specialised.
I have finally, after my slow output over the last few years, reached the point where I do not need to put too much time into marketing, so I think it is time to do some more carefully thought-out pieces, and to be honest my new friend is sticking pins in my brain in a surprisingly ordered and pleasant way.
I definitely did the right thing by randomly staggering into him, life has not been very pleasant this year.
So, although he has had some very rough notes preceding the first story, I think he will probably get a series of short stories as a sequel to ‘Stories for an Ignorant Man.’ I was not expecting quite such a kind, intelligent and funny individual when I made my rather offhand comment.
It has made me consider further the issues of blame, shame and respectability that I have previously discussed. I am on the right track, for a change.
I pity the people who went out of their way to damage me this year. They are obviously not happy or nice people, and it doesn’t matter how much money they make or work they procure, nothing will help them become happy or pleasant.
The same can be said for the obsessive old woman who stirs her cauldron whilst looking at the site every day. Nothing can help any of these people. They are toxic, and they will remain toxic until they die, because to heal they would need to see the problem.
I have been very teary today, because I am exhausted. Some things you can’t do anything about. It’s very sad.
Ina is coming out to play shortly
The Pornstar
So, today I met a pornstar, and I told him he was beautiful.
He liked that, his fans are usually psychotic whinging male dominants and weeping teenagers who are consumed with guilt about their love of having their blood supply replenished via whip or belt.
He is, not surprisingly for my current schtick, Indian.
I have narrowed it down to nice hands, old fashioned English phraseology and body hair. I do love a furry chap. It is a bit like wriggling about with a large and unusually exciting cat.
I have quickly gathered a following of my own, not for porn production I hasten to add, but I had a fascinating chat with a lovely man from Northern England during which I explained a few thoughts which were hitherto not pinned down.
I do have a deviance, but it is linguistic, and my interest in DS is an interest in the audio, rather than a fascination with actual pain, which is OK now and again, but I am not that fussed about delivering or receiving it in comparison with a lot of verbosity.
I am finding this niche quite hard to locate, but it is amusing looking.
I did produce some pseudo-erotica over a decade ago, which was sufficiently far out to attract some unwanted international attention, so I quickly buried it. I am not planning on bringing it back to life, however I do think a lovely short story in honour of the porn star is in order, so I will be taking care of business and freeing up some time for that this week.
I also met a charming naturist, who would like to hang around in the garden naked, so socially things are looking up, so to speak.
Wimping out
Sometimes, you have to know when to quit. My sick friend came for his free therapy again this week and today left before I pushed him out the door. Very wise.
Hundreds of pounds were spent on the Boris filming project. My friend actually invested some of it. The Boris mask took me several weeks to make, and because my friend would prefer that I sit and nurse him, it will now never be used.
Likewise the broadcast camera was a waste of money which I might as well sell, since there is nobody to operate it. I am not sure that my friend realises that this, along with several years of wasted time in other ways – cooking for him for one thing, awaiting graphics for another, has damaged our relationship significantly more than his ocassional bouts of extreme violence ever did.
It is an odd thing to say, I realise, but life is complicated. I am less bothered about his Van Gogh moments than I am with the new apathetic lump he has become.
He also appears to believe that Muslims are all 1)stupid 2)violent and 3)humorless, which is what my current piece of work is about. Neither Boris nor I believe this, so the question is whether muslims want to contribute to this argument.
This idea is most interesting. It is making me think a lot about my Hindu friends in India, who assured me during the Staring Brat episodes that the idea of telling everyone around me that he was married and not bothering to inform me, whilst trying very hard to exert control was entirely normal behaviour. Not only is it not normal behaviour in my frame of reference, it is extremely unfriendly and mean-spirited, so I do not understand it. Why would you try to control somebody when you haven’t bothered to get to know them? Why would you try to take something from someone who is already being nice to you rather than operating on a fair playing field? How does this work in your head? You think it’s clever to damage other people? Do you honestly believe your genitalia is this rare and special?
My tactics, when dealing with the Staring Brat episodes, were guided by my more generous operating principles. I saw something in Staring Brat 2, and it is something nobody else will bother nurturing, so I felt I had to. Whether this is right or wrong, Staring Brat 1 was unlikely to be significantly damaged no matter what I did, Staring Brat 2 however was destroyable, so I didn’t. Instead I presented the case for fixing the over-arching problem so my little Shiva has less scope for being destructive in the future.
This is, however, me assuming that the people I dealt with are playing with the same deck I’m playing with. Usually I find later that they are all corrupt too, but in this case we have positive results so far. I eagerly await the final scoresheet.
I am guilty of having spent several decades in the mistaken belief that everybody else goes through life taking people as they find them and not attempting to second-guess them because I don’t do that, and if I find myself being led down a particular train of thought – eg, Wolfe is eccentric, therefore Wolfe is unscientific and wrong rather than SELLING PRODUCT IN VAST QUANTITIES – I simply question myself until I get to the bottom of it, even if it takes me several years (sorry Wolfe, but you are way ahead of me about some things, money being only one of them)
Having said all that, I left that situation and then immediately saw and fixed another problem. Another two government departments are needling in now, so I am guessing they have similar issues. This is what happens when you replace perfectly good permanent staff with endlessly shifting sands of people with no rights. They get exploited and the standard of work declines.
Sorry Tories, but your methods of doing business suck, and the people making money out of this? Unless you can hire a million oddball people like me to call them to account over shady business practises and exploitative/incompetent staff members, they will never know how many glaring errors are destroying their country as well as their profits.
I do what I do for love. There is only one of me, and it is high time I got rewarded for what I do.
Preparations for next appointment
Doing a general upgrade of a variety of things at the moment. Still not quite managing to get rid of the remaining cushion on my front, but skin, hair etc is improving a little, although I have to say, coming out of ketosis is quite aging.
Still being shoved around a little because of the last job, but I should have that dealt with in time for my next posts, which I am looking forward to very much.
The wardrobe is also changing, and I seem to be getting more, rather than less eccentric in my choices. Stealing from history rather a lot, with a strong cosmopolitan theme running throughout. Thinking of taking up more interesting hats.
I will be catching up with a few other things before I start, so I am looking at a week or two before I jump back into the fire.
Cross fingers that things will be better rather than worse than expected for a change.
Ooh and I nearly forgot – I managed to get a couple of things made for the updated and ‘easier to manage with one person’ Boris project, so I will be back on track with that soon too.
Toodle pip
Ina
Powerboating in Glasgow City Centre
https://www.powerboatsglasgow.com/
Click the above link to go powerboating in Glasgow. Our next trip is a day trip all the way to Rhu for lunch.
Hoping to take floral shirt dude, if he gets over his shyness or whatever.
More fun shortly. If you are taking a car be aware that the parking system at the science centre is a pain in the tits and presumably the only way they are making any money.
Ina