July, 2018 - Ina Disguise

Dragon Lady Breathes Fire

July 6, 2018 No Comments

OK so now we have all seen my angry face, it is time to move onto our next appointment. (I’m sure SB is much happier, he was trying to get that angry face for weeks – I was exactly the same with Wolfe)

I am unable to continue with the public element of the Boris project at the moment due to a variety of factors, some of which are more interesting than others.

I think the most pertinent is my lack of assertiveness for many years with the exs. As a result, I appear to have assumed a rather maternal role in their lives, and some of the last relationships consisted entirely of me watching some dude talking about himself whilst saying nothing.

This was in many ways my best feature. Rather than sticking up for myself or discussing anything I wanted, I would take the role of silent punchbag and had a reputation of being somewhat inscrutable. It did, however, usually end up with my eating rather a lot.

This has changed quite a bit in the last few years, not just because of the blog, but because if they are stupid enough to try this, they quickly find that I am not available. There are some things worth resolving, and some things you shouldn’t waste your time changing.

It is interesting that my generation have been no better as parents as the boomers. I am not sure why bringing children up with no morals, compassion, or sense of duty is a good idea, but good luck when you get old and sick. Putting yourself in the hands of so-called professionals WILL GET YOU KILLED.

I was asked some years ago to do a book on dementia care, and I now wonder whether it is worthwhile to bother. My generation seem to have been unusual in that almost everyone I went to school with opted to take care of their own parents for as long as possible. The boomers weren’t willing to do it, and the millennials seem to be even more cutthroat because they are desperate for some money, so miserable are their prospects.

I have a rather large tasklist at the moment, and I think perhaps the writing should be on the front page of that, but I now feel able to get on with the game, and as I promised Wolfe, I will not be letting him down. He has been very kind.

The Boris book, however, is very important to us, so this is high on the priority list too.

In the meantime, I have just finished my interview, and it is now time to get the last of the shoe bases made so that I can get that out whilst I deal with the remaining problems.

Your happiness is very important, but do not drag other people into getting it for you. It is as important for you as anyone else that you take care of some things yourself. It can take years, and I have no time left for waiting.

Uncategorized

Work news

July 5, 2018 No Comments

Still waiting to hear. I really want to start work now so I would like an answer before the weekend.

Another interview tomorrow.

Iain Duncan Smith is going well. Working on shoes and Boris writing at the moment.

I have made the last two posts private, since they were really a guest spot item.

Apart from that, SB, nice strategy. Most interesting drive you had today. Much more interesting than anything for the last two months, that’s for sure. Good luck with that bit.

Toodle pip,

Ina

Uncategorized

Sauce for the Swan

July 4, 2018 No Comments

I know it’s usually a goose, but it seems apt.

Family entertainment at its best.

There is no rule that states women have to pretend to be stupid to believe your bullshit, SB.

Why would you even make up something that spurious? She is awfully dumb for such a cheeky little girl.

And no, I was not laid off, I was terminated for inappropriate conduct which consisted of a polite email and an attempt to give your husband a book about stress, dear. Considerably different when you try to get another job.

For the benefit of the audience, staring brat team leader 2 is now trying to blame staring brat team leader 1 for everything. He apparently expects us to believe that staring brat team leader 1 magically gained access to his email and personal messages and persuaded the Manager to then blame staring brat number 2 for everything when talking to me, keeping himself out of the picture in an effort to appear heroic.

Whilst staring brat team leader 1 had already tried this tactic and failed (because he was enormous and I have no interest in anybody that looks as if he can break my neck easily, including team leader 2), so it is plausible from that point of view, staring brat team leader 1 did not force staring brat team leader 2 to behave like an arse, nor did he tell him never to disclose that he had a perfectly serviceable wife in addition to the beautiful and also married girl he denies having a very obvious relationship with in the office.

Wow, this is the stupidest reason for getting fired ever, but it is nice to be so gorgeous when I am SOOOOOOOOOOH OOOOOOOOLD! If only I got to have fun with this rather inconvenient quality I seem to have. Imaginary Wolfe is right, this will not stop until I am unfuckable.

business, economics

Job Statistics so far for Scotland

July 4, 2018 No Comments

We are on the three weeks since the swan crapped on me again.

Wage rates are in decline since I last had to bother doing any of this, which was approximately a decade ago.

eg.

Meter reading – a very difficult job which involves being paid for part time hours, walking full time to achieve targets and climbing a lot of stairs, you need a car. I was physically attacked twice doing this job, once by a policeman and once by four violent neds (I won) – 1998 this job paid £7.70 an hour. In 2018 this job pays £7.70 per hour.

Cleaning – is now available from £7.83 to £12 per hour if you have your own car and are relatively respectable. I could have done this for lecturers at uni for £10 – as this was 16 years ago or so, again in decline but bearing up well compared to office work

Wiping bottoms – also known as caring. If you do this for your loved ones, you get £65 per week for 24 hour a day care. If you do it as a profession you get from £8-14 per hour, again better than office work.

Office work – Twenty years ago I was averaging £8.50 as an administrator. This was anything from audio typing to supervising a team of health and safety administrators. Now I am told that I should not be asking for £9 as this is apparently too difficult for agencies to fill. I have held out for more complex admin roles, and am looking at £10-14 roles, however it is more likely that I am in the market for entry level graduate roles at £20k. (Also see yesterday’s post on financial services in decline.)

Kitchen portering or washing dishes, bar work – This is commanding £8-£9 at the moment, and requires no unusual skills, besides which you have a better scope in terms of getting more hours. If you go with waiting tables, you get tips on top of this, but sometimes these are shared so you have a bit of money on top of your obvious income. This makes it better than office work, and considerably better for your health.

My crap CV and allegedly useless experience have so far got me six interviews, one within an hour and a half of looking for work. If I listened to agencies, I would have been working for minimum wage and presumably part-time begging to survive some time ago. Glasgow is bursting at the seams with inverted snobs who do not like you, your education or anything about you so you are far better off doing without them. Your degree seems to be a liability.

A recent project I was on was actively discouraging Scottish people from jobs in Scotland and saving places for more English or foreign nationals on particular shifts.

If you didn’t know you were at war, please note this carefully.

business

Job Market Hilarity

July 3, 2018 No Comments

Well, after discovering that you now get more money cleaning or wiping bottoms for a living than you do in financial services, I am wondering what to do, really.

The agencies and inflated population have driven wages down to the point where one of the jobs I was doing twenty years ago now pays two pence less than it did then. A job I was recently doing paid £50 a day less than ten years ago for four more hours and a far more complex job. You also get fewer days per week, so two people are doing the job one would have done previously, for less money.

I wonder, personally, how people are expected to live like this? How can Tories expect the economy to work if most of the population are paid very small wages which then have to be supplemented in order to survive?

It is obvious that the European experiment was intended to reduce wages. Deutsche Bank have been very good at funding schemes intended to encourage this, but really, what use is it in economic terms? It just exacerbates the situation in which we all hand what money we have to the same twenty or so individuals who continuously get richer.

Conspiracy theorists like to posit that once the Turing test is passed, half of the population is going to be wiped out. How does this work in terms of customer base to continue to feed these greedy companies? Or must we assume that once the same few rich people have more money and power than could ever be useful or practical, that they no longer care? How much is enough? Do we recycle the corpses in order to grow trees for their improved planet? Is that how it works, because the usual method of war or disease is not practical for fertiliser.

Today I sat whilst a presumably very lazy ned told me that all my experience was worthless and that unless I provided her with leads she would not be finding me a job.

This was half an hour of thinly veiled hatred whilst she told me how helpful she was being. I patiently pointed out all the information she claimed was missing, and apologised to her for working three or four jobs whilst renovating a property and taking care of my parents.

It was very depressing, and I felt pretty awful as I walked home, right up until I emailed her and told her to take me off her database entirely, as she was unlikely to be any help to me. This cheered me up somewhat.

So, fellow disposable people, bear in mind that you are likely to be paid less and less the more you let people like this have control over your life, and your children will find things much, much worse.

All for the sake of convenience and being too lazy to look at the alternatives. Alternative sources of information, alternative sources of work, alternative sources of entertainment. If you keep feeding the same people, they will keep spitting on you until there is nothing left.

All that I have got today for my trouble in terms of recruitment agents’ fees from my doing short contracts for them is a whole lot of depressing cheek as this one wanted to know which agencies had which contracts. When you know the game, you realise it is basically 100 days of Sodom, played out in underemployment.

Seriously, more money doing anything other than office work. Office work, full of stultifyingly boring narrow minded little people who don’t like anybody. Office work, where you are entirely likely to be replaced by a robot. Office work, the least healthy option you could pick.

I think I will get on with the final exam for the job I actually do want. Hopefully I never have to deal with any more nutters. Maybe tomorrow I can get on with some real work.

Pays more than the last supposedly prestigious one, but that isn’t all that difficult.

Uncategorized

You are winding me up

July 2, 2018 No Comments

You are one crazy boy.

You will find my meeting with Wolfe in October 2017, if that’s your bag.

I am going out to meet a real person, if there is one. See if you can figure out where I’m going.

I might issue a clue.

I can’t be bothered unless you have something to say.

Uncategorized

OK you can search that

July 2, 2018 No Comments

That’s all I’m planning to remove for you, so you can pay to have the remainder searched over and over again if you want.

I will not be controlled by somebody who is clearly not at all adequate and who evidently has too much money.

For the benefit of the long-suffering searchers. This guy has already got me fired, on extremely spurious grounds. He apparently believes that I am rich and I owe him something.

Anything that could possibly have bothered him has been removed, and I suggest he moves on with his life.

I cannot help you any further, as I have to clear up the existing mess.

motivation

Here we go again SB

July 1, 2018 No Comments

Faceless computers searching through the last two months again.

OK for you and my romance author friends, here is a potted description again.

Pretty fed up with this now, so I may just work on something else this week.

26th April – a gentle, apparently sympathetic and slightly geeky dude who also happened to be very polite, which I am rather partial to, stops and talks about work. This is the first actual conversation we have had. I laughingly decide to be more serious than he is, which unfortunately leads to my hearing myself saying ‘that serious thing you have going on is astonishingly beautiful’ to which he replies ‘you’d have to be awfully good at your job.’

In the weeks that follow, he suddenly appears to double in size, presumably because he feels good, and becomes quite a bit beyond astonishingly beautiful and into ‘Oh god, I cannot do that, he’s bigger than me and my eyes will be scratched out by jealous bitches.’ He has beautiful wrists, and a swan neck in particular, although its all good, broadly speaking. The clothes all change too. Not being in the shirtless man genre, I am afraid that is about as far into physical description as I can go, although he has more of a North African old school Arab look than your strictly South Asian Caucasian that you might feel more inclined to expect.

When I email him, he passes the email straight on to management who then decide that my personal business is their business, offer me counselling for my dead mother and apparently give me a warning for a perfectly polite email message.

Because he isn’t speaking but is physically flirting and appears to find my discomfort quite funny, I conclude that he is not interested, and besides there is a beautiful girl whom he seems to have a very close friendship with. As time goes on, an event in the office leads me to believe that they have a slightly kinky relationship and I offer to transfer off the shift to avoid making anyone feel bad about it apart from me.

This apparently makes him furious, he is horrible to my friend, I withdraw any sign at all of interest and start actively avoiding him. He seems to become more furious as time goes on, to the point that he can’t even hear my voice without being filled with rage.

I try to instigate conversation from my computer because it is not safe standing anywhere near him due to the rockets. (anybody who has experienced the nagging rockets will know what I mean by this. It isn’t great at work.) The first time I do this it is to ask a simple question about my work, regarding the chair I still plan to make, and the second is when I wish to give him the book I said I was going to give him on the blog. Both times he is unpleasant, but he does make one attempt to apologise verbally.

Apparently he handed both of these attempts at conversation over to the management too, and added an accusation of harassment to this. The management told me that they uphold any accusation of harassment. When I protested that none of the conversations were remotely sexual, and that I had apologised for the initial comment, they said they uphold any old allegation of harassment. They literally tried to tell me that he didn’t hate me or want me fired whilst telling me that they were escalating a problem I had already solved to get me fired.

In the meantime, I was told that he had said some pretty horrible things (unspecified) that he had questioned whether I was with a limited company or an umbrella company (this indicates that he was interested in money) that ‘it was OK I was just getting a warning’ (this from a staff member who was obviously in on the conversation. ) and that ‘he was leading me on’ and ‘he isn’t a very nice person,’ in relation to me. This led me to believe that the relationship with the girl in the office was not all it seemed as it is very clear who wears the pants, and it isn’t her. Separately I am told by another two staff members that ‘there have been problems before.’ The management have apparently forgotten, since they denied this.

All of which leads me to conclude that the dude was trying to create a damaging situation and became irritated because I have other outlets than posturing at work for dealing with any ego related issues like jealousy and frustration, so didn’t show any signs of it until he angered me with his rudeness during his responses.

Not everybody is going to like you back. That’s just normal stuff. Trying to goad someone into an emotional trap is another. Why he felt the need to do anything like that I do not know, as he must be aware he was earning at least three times what I was earning.

They often think because I look happy and reasonably confident that I need to be crushed before I can be ‘feminine.’ Fuck being feminine if that is the case. Take the budgie you’re smuggling to someone who wants to play the little woman. I’d much rather be me, and if you can’t deal with it, don’t look.

Not terribly worried about his not finding me attractive, it was an out-of-character moment to say anything in the first place. The idea that I was to be repeatedly humiliated with a view to making me angry enough to be canned for misconduct is pretty insulting, or whatever it was that he wanted other than that. I fear for the staff, personally.

https://youtu.be/DJHedTtljac

Uncategorized

Oh right so it was one day off

July 1, 2018 No Comments

I see, so it was a false flag.

You are quite young to be this obsessive, and I don’t know why you think there is a point to this at all. I liked you, you didn’t like me. You got me fired. End of story.

If you want to take up a writing career, perhaps you should go and do that. I am quite lazy and easily distracted so I am not a shining example of how to go about things.

Broadly speaking, unless you want to spend most of your day marketing you have to produce a lot of tagged output, and short stories are very helpful for this in today’s market.

Apart from that, you are wasting your time. My life was over by the time I was your age.

Don’t waste it on bullshit.

Damaged people

creativity

Some Dream for you to interpret

July 1, 2018 No Comments

This is a good one, I woke up at 4am from this one feeling very good.

I am on a busy train, but for some reason the train is huge and I am sitting in a similar job to the one I have just done, with similar people, although I think only one person, who sat back to back with me and was extremely helpful, actually made it into the dream.

Wolfe is further back in train, in a separate carriage with his entourage of wifelets and staff. I know he is there, but it’s fine because we don’t bother each other as a rule.

(This is very unusual, the only previous dreams I have had about him are comedic or about fighting.)

Anyway, I am struggling away with this job, which seems to be vaguely health related and the pod I am sitting in is discussing it with a view to getting it correct. We seem to be doing reasonably well, and then of course Wolfe decides to try to get to the top of the train.

As he approaches the pod I am sitting at, I hear him and then see that his progress is being impeded by moronic and super normal fans. I cough, and notice that they all stop trying to paw at him for a second. He gets slightly further up the train. I cough again, and the other people working with me start laughing as he get a little bit further forward again. He nods to me without looking, and I go into a full blown coughing fit to enable him to disappear towards the next empty bit of carriage, whereupon I say goodbye to the people on the pod and follow him. He looks back and smiles as he disappears into an enormous ballroom. (it’s a big train) I pick the ballroom that he isn’t in.

I was very happy at the end of this one, make of it what you will. So far it seems to be about life’s journey and feeling good about decisions.

If I fully commit, I am going to seriously disrupt things in the next ten years, which is going to put a major strain on our non-relationship. I ain’t no shrinking violet when it comes to Wolfe, unfortunately.

« Previous 1 2 3