OK so now we have all seen my angry face, it is time to move onto our next appointment. (I’m sure SB is much happier, he was trying to get that angry face for weeks – I was exactly the same with Wolfe)
I am unable to continue with the public element of the Boris project at the moment due to a variety of factors, some of which are more interesting than others.
I think the most pertinent is my lack of assertiveness for many years with the exs. As a result, I appear to have assumed a rather maternal role in their lives, and some of the last relationships consisted entirely of me watching some dude talking about himself whilst saying nothing.
This was in many ways my best feature. Rather than sticking up for myself or discussing anything I wanted, I would take the role of silent punchbag and had a reputation of being somewhat inscrutable. It did, however, usually end up with my eating rather a lot.
This has changed quite a bit in the last few years, not just because of the blog, but because if they are stupid enough to try this, they quickly find that I am not available. There are some things worth resolving, and some things you shouldn’t waste your time changing.
It is interesting that my generation have been no better as parents as the boomers. I am not sure why bringing children up with no morals, compassion, or sense of duty is a good idea, but good luck when you get old and sick. Putting yourself in the hands of so-called professionals WILL GET YOU KILLED.
I was asked some years ago to do a book on dementia care, and I now wonder whether it is worthwhile to bother. My generation seem to have been unusual in that almost everyone I went to school with opted to take care of their own parents for as long as possible. The boomers weren’t willing to do it, and the millennials seem to be even more cutthroat because they are desperate for some money, so miserable are their prospects.
I have a rather large tasklist at the moment, and I think perhaps the writing should be on the front page of that, but I now feel able to get on with the game, and as I promised Wolfe, I will not be letting him down. He has been very kind.
The Boris book, however, is very important to us, so this is high on the priority list too.
In the meantime, I have just finished my interview, and it is now time to get the last of the shoe bases made so that I can get that out whilst I deal with the remaining problems.
Your happiness is very important, but do not drag other people into getting it for you. It is as important for you as anyone else that you take care of some things yourself. It can take years, and I have no time left for waiting.