Too much to do

I cannot take any more input at the moment, there is far too much to do.

There are many reasons why you do not want to live with an artist.

  1.  In my case, I take up a lot of space, and there is work going on everywhere at home, so I often wander off and do not return for an hour or more.
  2. I am always working, even when sleeping, so my mind is often not pointing at you.
  3. Nothing is more important than the workload, whether that is creating, writing or going to an actual job, so you are constantly fighting for attention.
  4. Seemingly random things are very important one day, and then forgotten entirely for weeks because of the focus.
  5. Whilst letting go of caring what other people think is highly desirable, it is not everyone’s cup of tea.  I often see even quite well regarded people who are still in the trap of caring what other people think of them, and I frankly feel sorry for them.
  6. Even I do not like everything that I do, and the reason for doing it is often not clear for a few years at a time.  This makes evaluation difficult.  For example, I particularly dislike Rebecca Brooks is fit for work, but it looks great in my kitchen because of the other items in the room and it is very handy.  It is unlikely to make sense that I will happily spend time and money on a piece that I hate throughout, but as I am often working on another idea that I need to practise on to clarify it, it is often unlikely that I can explain that. I really made that piece for my mother and she enjoyed it, so although I hate it, it is not going anywhere.
  7. When you are with a person who is in a constant state of self-development, you can feel that they will grow out of you, which again does not suit everyone.
  8. Not every artist focuses on people.  I have because that is what provokes emotion and the compulsion to make things, it is also very positive emotionally because even when disasters happen, you can use it for something else. That is alarming for prospective partners, some of whom would prefer that you be devastated by their bullshit.
  9. It is impossible to relax when you are constantly sparking off new ideas.  That is not easy to deal with, especially as every word gets used for something.
  10. Ego – writing and art are both ego-led activities.  Some people are more resilient than others.  I am pretty sure many of the people taking a pop at me recently would not withstand the regular negativity of other people that I have shrugged off.
  11. Not giving a shit about your appearance.  I am often covered in glue or resin, and I will forget about health for months if I am sufficiently entranced by what I am doing.  Little Shiva, for example, has made me rather fat because I haven’t lifted my head in 9 months.  Normally I will finish in 3 months and go and deal with things like breathing, but this period has been intense work.
  12. Crazy priorities.  It is very difficult to distract someone who only cares about work.

And then there are the inappropriate choices you make because of your wiring.  I did not end up liking Little Shiva as a person, for example, but he was a hugely productive error of judgement and I otherwise adored him.  I have no idea why he is still on the website, I am assuming it is to do with his rather distant home life, but I assume it is vanity or loneliness that keeps him checking up on progress.  He still has rather a long wait ahead.

It is most interesting when you meet people who are highly creative and who have had it battered out of them, either by a love of convention, or by personal shame, or by family stuff.  It clearly drives them quite crazy.  One chap I have encountered recently is beautifully turned out and drinks far too much, to the point of manipulating and judging other people, simply to numb his nerves.

What I am getting at with this is that your emotional state should not get the better of you in terms of behaviour.  Far better to use it for something useful, like developing your brain to deal with other problems.  It is quite incredible how beneficial working in 3 dimensions is for your writing, for example.

Anyway, I have some 2 dimensional business to take care off, so toodle pip.


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