What if the only thing holding you back was you?


What if the reason you were frightened of the world was not because of persistent bullying?

What if you didn’t worry about that person who stopped you winning a competition, getting the job you wanted, marrying the person you wanted?

What if your failure to achieve promotion was not because somebody else was better than you are, but because you did not seem mentally prepared for responsibility?

What if your life was exactly the way you intended?

What if you just dropped all that bullshit, forgot about the bad things and just concentrated on getting what you wanted?  If one thing does not work out, you shoot for another and hope for change in the interim.

I used to laugh at Wolfe for suggesting that a diet was a big factor in societal failure, although I did agree with his comments about political constipation, which has contributed quite a lot to the No Glass Walls project.  I just did not understand at the time, although I took him up on his suggestion of consuming wheatgrass to see how different I felt after two weeks, and I have to say he was absolutely right.

At the moment, I can see exactly who is on this website.  I can see how often they visit, where they are in the world, and what pages they look at.  I can see what equipment they are using and what browser they prefer.  This is very helpful in ensuring that I know whether my projects are successful.  Intelligence is key in any surveillance operation.

Who am I watching and why?  Not whom you would think at all.  They are both welcome to come and go as and when they please. No, I am interested in the audience, not the participants.

One of my exs, a particularly annoying Yank called Alan, used to tell me that what he feared most was having nowhere to go.  He now lives about two streets away and has refused to befriend me on the grounds that he is living with someone.  His loss, frankly, my other exs can manage to grow out of that one.

My schtick is having something to do.  As long as I have a long list of things to do, I am a happy bunny regardless of goal.  I think this is a good place to start, although rewards are also nice from time to time.

I should work on the reward part really, as the activity without reward is often quite expensive.  Otherwise, it is probably better to gain satisfaction from smaller goals if you aren’t necessarily ready for the big ones.

Your challenge for tonight is to figure out what you actually wanted from your life, and to go and do that rather than wring your hands and blame other people for your inadequacy. You can waste your entire life worrying about stuff that really doesn’t get you anywhere.




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