Google is such a slave driver, I was going to starve the five or six personality disordered individuals who like to stare at this website for a few days, but it is important to Google that I do my 300 plus per day, so I best keep doing it.
As far as I can observe we have:
One woman with NPD, histrionic tendencies
One male with SPD and incurable feelings of inadequacy
One male with CPTSD who is unhappy in his marriage
One male with CNPD
One female with co-dependency issues and poor self esteem
All of whom look at the blog hoping to see some misfortune.
The only two readers I really depend on, and to be honest write for most of the time are not included with this motley crew. I have great affection for both of them.
I have wasted probably years on wondering why people are the way they are. I remember giving myself second degree burns with an unwise combination of deep heat and a hot water bottle once, so miserable was I about irrational behaviour.
There is nothing you can do about other people’s irrational behaviour. What you can do instead is speed up your personal reaction time.
By this I mean ignore it faster.
I used to say that everyone ought to have their own front door. I do not necessarily mean a literal door. I mean you have to develop a well-guarded core of serenity that nobody can touch in order to survive other people.
This in itself will then be attacked, so you need to practice positive avoidance. I think one of the few people who has been allowed to see me in bits has been Wolfe, because I felt very close to him even when we didn’t really know each other, and I knew that I had a bit of extra leeway with him than most people.
It seems that a lot of disordered individuals respond to this apparent serenity with an assault. I believe the reason for this is deep self-loathing. They want you to be as crap as they are, so they try to create situations to see if they can pull that off.
Trying to tell them that there is an alternative to this is usually pointless. They will respond with a financial justification for being shitty, or some superficial judgement that they took on without thinking about it. It is then up to you whether you want to fight your ground or simply avoid them as being pretty crap substandard people.
I have had far more than my fair share of this kind of behaviour. Despite this, I have continued to maintain my morality (and turned down the bribes thereof) and have done the right thing by as many people as have needed it. You don’t tend to get any thanks for it, in fact other unfortunate people have said to me that I should instead think about myself.
It seems that attempts at nobility and protecting others is out of fashion. Perhaps the world is too crowded for this now. Perhaps one should just let the malcontents win and get as nasty as they are.
I am still somewhat worried about the girl in the office. I saw her the other day, however and she looked pretty carniverous, so perhaps I am worried about nothing. In any case, she still has a job and her position with SB2 is ambiguous. This time, for once, I plan to leave well alone. I am sure the pending investigation will sort things out.
