Die if ya do
Don’t wanna do nothin’ new,
Wanna sit here and take an antacid
Keep your evil salad,
Wanna eat cake and feel a bit flaccid,
Don’t challenge my opinions, or ask me to do anythiiiiiiing!
‘Cos if you tip up my boat, I’ll just not bother to swiiiiiim
Yeah! Leave me to rot, I just cannot change my world view!
No, no, no, no, no
I hate everyone, and nobody’s gonna get throuuuuuugh
Chorus
‘Cos I’ll die if ya do, die if ya do, if the stroke don’t get me
I’ll have a heart attack on you
Die in your kitchen, die in your car,
You think you’re goin’ somewhere but you will not get far
Burst a blood vessel all over the seats,
To carry me out, you’ll have to stain all your sheets.
Leave me alone, or you’ll be sorry as hellllllllllllll
Don’t wanna learn nothin’
Wanna sit here watchin’ Hitler instead,
I hate richer people, and I hate poor sick people in bed,
You can keep all your herbs, and your superfood too,
Nothin’s gonna help me, or my sore, sore head
Gonna wear my dark glasses, and sit here in pain,
Anything you’re gonna try, you’re gonna try it in vain,
There’s nothin’ you can do, so you might as well eat some cake toooooo
‘Cos I’ll die if ya do, die if ya do. Diabetes ain’t got me, but it’s gonna get you
Die in your bathroom, die in your hall
Nothing you can do to help me at all
I’ll sit here in my armchair, watching Nazi vids
Hating everybody, soon you’ll be on the skids
Laughing at misfortune, smiling full of hate
Nothing you can say is gonna clean up my plate
Give me more cake, or I’ll trip you up on the stairs,
Then I’ll laugh my head off, burst an arteryyyyy,
Bleed over the antiques and hid my head on a shelllllf
There’s nothin’ you can do, you broke your ankle when I tripped you upppppp,
No, no, no
Cos’ I’ll die if ya do, die if ya do,
Bleed everywhere forever, make a mess outta you,
You’ll feel like you’ve been cruel, feel like you’ve been bad
Nothing’s gonna help you feel any less sad,
Skull fragments in the garage, in the studio,
Dead body in the garden maybe on the patio,
Blood in the pink roses, in the pussy willow
You’ll need a full squad just to move me real slow
Ya know, it’s much easierrrr
If ya just give me the caaaaaaaake,
Yeah, yeah,
Even though I’ll die if ya do, die if ya do,
Give me all the cake, else I’ll complain about you
Black forest gateau, strawberry cheesecake.
You can keep your evil veggies and the spooky fruit too,
Take the herbs and grass away
Take the raw chocolate too,
Give me all the cake or I’ll complain about you.
Deep fried potato, a gallon of milk
The pains in my stomach are something else too,
Don’t force me to live, don’t ask me to think
I’ll just throw up my fries in your nice new clean sink.
I’ll pretend I’m not tired, pretend I’m not sick,
No I don’t want no smoothie it looks way too thick.
Don’t force me to do anythiiiiiing……
Cos’ I’ll die if ya do, die if ya do,
Collapse in the lounge, or in your nice tidy loo,
Rigor Mortis in your doorway, stiff limbs on your floor
Put your pedal to the metal getting right out the door.
Give me all the cake, and all the fries too,
Oily mayonnaise, salty sausage and ham
I’ll eat what I want, and it’s better if you eat the cake toooooooo
Don’t challenge my opinions, or you know what I’ll do to youuuuuu
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Die if ya do, die if ya do
Won’t pay attention to your views, won’t listen to you,
I just wanna moan, wanna complain too
Wanna eat some more cake, and take some painkillers too
Blood quality’s for sissies, and for dumb hippies too,
Wanna complain until midnight and then after that too.
Give me back my Hitler, my antacid world view,
Life is too short, and I don’t want a mess,
Don’t challenge my opinions or make me wear a dress,
Fetch me my slippers, and some more kaolin,
My plan is to expire over your violin.
You’ll be tidying up my fluids
Mopping up my blood,
But at least I’ll have eaten some more of that food.
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