Let Down Again

Yet again, let down by a so-called friend.  He actually invested in the Boris project to begin with, presumably on the basis that I would keep him around longer because he certainly had no intention of doing anything but sabotage it.

Apparently explaining to him about a million times that the project was not actually political had zero impact, and his primary concern, as usual is for himself.  I am supposed to want to not progress any of my work, listen to decades old stories of how someone said something nasty to him once, and busy myself fussing over his health.

I have done this for him for years.  Despite two assaults on my person, terrifying acts of aggression towards random individuals which I managed to remove him from, mood swings which were entirely bizarre and huge legal and health events, I have stood by this guy.

All this counts for precisely nothing, which should be a life lesson.  I am not sure what the life lesson is supposed to mean,  but I am sure I should have ejected this guy years ago and not allowed him back no matter what he said or did to ‘make up for it.’  It was just about persistent manipulation and nothing else.  Encourage me to waste my time, and then take great pleasure in making absolutely sure it counted for nothing.

So, we can assume that I can get on with my work now, although I still need to find an extra income stream pending the completion of two key pieces of written work, and two key pieces of artwork.

Since the last job ended, I have wondered because of what happened, whether I have a thing for Indian dudes.  I have devoted myself to eyeing them up as a result, and the conclusion is that I have no more thing for Indian dudes than any other dudes.  That one was apparently special.

Having said that, I have a very calm colleague at work at the moment, whom I like being with, who after investigation turned out to be Punjabi.  He is an extremely Scottish Punjabi however, probably a bit more Scottish than I am, so I do not think we can draw a conclusion from this beyond that I fear men from the UK more than i fear men from elsewhere, because several of them have beaten me up in the past and strangely enough, that doesn’t appeal.

My skin cracked up at the beginning of last week due to the six weeks of looking for work and nothing else.  I have cured this by returning to a very strict diet of supermix, increasing the low level of carbs, and returning to a regime of hardass walking.  I have now returned my skin to its glorious normal and lost ten pounds.

I may experiment with mono-filming my new piece as I am now heartily tired of people letting me down on projects and I am no further forward with having someone I can phone in order to stand next to a camera whilst I work.

This is most frustrating, and I do wonder whether I should just drop the performance elements of my work altogether since other important things are being neglected as a result of the sheer frustration of getting simple things done and out.

I have several placards to finish.  I think I will do it anyway, on the basis that I may try doing this without the fun bits.  It seems like a bit of a downer however.  Why are people so boring?


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