So, for those of you who are interested, Bawbag got roughly 9 months, which means he will be out by July.

This is absolutely no help to the film project, since I would have only about 8 weekends or so out of that time to get the entire shoot done.  It is highly unlikely that anyone will want to rent his crappy shop prior to July, so he will reemerge as a problem unless more of his cases come up before then and he gets jailed for one of those.

ASPD is a strange condition.  The people I talk to online about it share an excellent sense of humour, however despite an obsession with their reputation cannot help expressing themselves in crime.

It is an actual brain anomaly, so there is little apart from keeping yourself very calm and avoiding emotional stress tha you can do.  Bawbag’s search for a doormat wife is not far off the mark.  If someone sufficiently deaf/boring existed, it would probably help him enormously. (you really would have to have the tolerance of granite)

I do not think, however that Scotland is the right place for him to find this.  Women tend to be quite decisive and fiesty and they are not likely to want to spend their time sitting in the house waiting for a petty bully to come home and take out his inadequacies on them.

I went from being sympathetic, really up until Thursday, to not caring at all after his filming me passing.  He has just started doing this, I assume some not-very-bright lawyer or policeman has advised this.  Only a moron would advise a guy who has a history of stalking, and whom has even harassed a person (me) he dragged in off the street for the purposes of blaming for his behaviour, to then stalk the same person purchasing a cup of tea and leaving the area two or three times a week using his phone.

I took the precaution of making the police aware of the various things he was doing throughout the period of him screaming at me in the street. As I have no real animosity towards him, they knew I wouldn’t make a particularly great witness, and they were not particularly helpful. As I have said before, the best course of action with bullies is to completely ignore them.

On the plus side, this means I have never had to be involved in any of his cases, which inevitably involve people he has annoyed financially as well as personally – the ex girlfriend that just did him for stalking, in what reads to me like a very sparse and badly defended case, was pursuing him via a debt collector.  He did not mention this to me, I was told by one of the other complainants whom he also owed money. I am unsure who the third complainant was, I suspect it was the first wife but have no idea.

Anyway, it seems from what the ex has to say that he pled guilty to this one to facilitate defending the ones coming up, which are worse.  She threw the book at him, according to him because of jealousy, but he lies a lot. Anomalies in the case, having read the brief articles, were how he managed to get intimate pictures of a person he was stalking rather than, as he claimed, taking them when he was sleeping with her.  She seems to have presented this as an error of judgement rather than the marriage he claimed it was.

It was brave of her, but I’m not sure how much in the way of alternative options she had. What I do know is that he was constantly reverberating around getting her back with him, and that none of the people involved in the case, protagonist or antagonist were particularly kind people that you would want in your life.

So you are left thinking, is kindness in this situation basically a waste of time? Bawbag is brutal because brutality is what he understands of the world, which is not very accurate.  Bawbag  is amazingly self obsessed.  He has no empathy and isn’t really capable of considering other people because of his condition.  None of these things would normally require jail, especially if he was around people of sufficiently strong character to simply manage him.

Alongside that, he can be fun, considerate on his own terms – he was even polite whilst smashing my stuff – and is entirely bewildered by this entire situation, to the point that even I could defend him better than he can. Treating him with a bit of kindness is only a temporary fix, however, having tried it. He needs specialist help, and I am not at all sure he is going to get this in jail without the intervention of somebody who cares.

Ina

So went over to buy my tea with the idea of speaking to Bawbag before he heads to court for sentencing tomorrow.

Bought my tea without fuss, then circled the block to pass to see if this was a worthwhile endeavour.

The vibe was so negative that I gave up bothering to try.

I don’t know how many times I have tried forgiving this idiot for what is pretty unforgiveable behaviour from a friend, he just comes back with more hate. He doesn’t seem to understand that being a toxic friend is an entirely different ballgame from being a toxic boyfriend.  What his girlfriend finds frightening, I merely find annoying and transient.

I realised on the way home that this is all he understands.  He cannot understand that I would be positive at all, so my humour makes no sense to him and everything is reinterpreted as hatred.

It is also a lot easier for him to transfer his hatred for the ex girlfriend that is actually putting him through all this to me.  He did this three years ago and he has apparently not stopped.  You cannot fix stupid.

You might as well hate a cat for being Siamese, he isn’t tremendously capable of change, it is a waste of time.

So, rather than for the umpteenth time trying to offer the guy some help and sympathy, I was filmed with a view to his having me attacked, presumably by another jailbird, at a later date. This is tiresome and pointless and I am tired of trying.

As with the family, at some point you have to accept that people are stupid and nasty and there is no point in bothering with them.

So, rather than the post wishing him well I wanted to write, I am now left thinking it would be far better if he just goes.

It’s all very sad and pointless.

Ina