Lust is a problem for many religions, because of the inappropriate force of desire and the destructive nature of wanting something to the point of disorder.
It is entirely distinct from love. Love has ‘God’s’ approval because it is about giving, in theory and has ‘good’ aims, whereas lust is more like fire, burning everything in its path to gratify a need.
The problem with lust, is that it isn’t very productive. It may, as my friend says, be very healthy, but it isn’t particularly useful or pleasant.
The only real way of escaping it is to avoid the object of desire. Therefore I spent several years not even looking at pictures of Wolfe whilst making artworks and books dedicated to him. In this way, lust became more productive and, presumably if you look on it this way, God-worthy.
I was not aware of any religious connotations to my work before this. I tend to describe my work as having its basis in Platonic philosophy, the divine spark of inspiration representing love, although as I have mentioned before, the fact sewing, my hands and being covered in whatever I am using is hugely important to me when creating things means that there is a massive sexual element. I have also successfully used it to avoid saying or doing anything about my feelings in the past, but then I have always had the option to run away.
Running away, which is my usual preferred option, means that you are free to avoid being cornered. It means you can avoid the inevitable compromises of having an actual relationship with anyone, and it means you can avoid changes you do not necessarily want. Running away is usually smart, because if anybody actually gave a shit about you, they would come and get you anyway. Nobody has bothered yet, which means I am doing the right thing.
I can entirely understand why churches would seek to regulate people’s experience in this way. Stability depends on it, and any religion is really about social control and a stable society. Nobody would have heard of Jesus or Mohammed if armies had not slaughtered millions of people successfully.
It does not look as if I am going to get to run away this week, so I will have to tolerate feeling like hell for a couple of weeks at least as it appears impossible to avoid the issue even when trying very hard. Today I was a bit calmer at least, and then the evil sprite kicked in and tried to persuade me that there isn’t a problem.
There is a problem, and it is me. I have to remove me as the problem. Everyone else is just fine.