What my sister and all the other narcs I have attracted over the years have in common is that they detest happiness, and they really hate confidence.
The idea that other people can be content, happy or confident is horrifying to them, because they perceive it as being a state that they cannot control.
Therefore, for people like the staring brats, the silly woman I am dealing with right now, and my sister, dealing with a happy, confident and positive person is a bit like being confronted by the antichrist, and it must be stopped as soon as possible.
The crushing of any dangerous happiness or meaningful activity means that they can reassert themselves as the centre of attention and curtail any progress that does not relate to their well-being.
I have committed a revolutionary act today, which is being met with a mixture of dismay and admiration. Simply saying no has caused a spiral of obvious abuse activity to become very clear to people who have actually been accepting this behaviour for some time.
The woman at the centre of the storm in this case has been causing problems for months, possibly years. She spotted me the minute I walked in, and I made a point of asking her one question every day. She very quickly became irritated with my lack of fear, and I knew that problems were bound to follow very quickly thereafter.
To give you an indication of how common this is, if you are a temporary worker you are expected to simply accept any treatment in order to continue to claim your wage. Everyone so far has simply grumbled and moved on or been fired without complaint, so the idea of standing your ground is quite alien to the people who have administered her whims.
I had to explain at some length that I was fully confident to challenge her on the basis of knowledge that she did not have, that I would be expecting an apology and an acknowledgement that I am well aware that I will not get, and that I am concerned for all the other people that she has done this to. Depressing people to pander to a narc is not a smart thing to do, and the manager of the office is making full use of my heel digging to put her in her place.
Unfortunately, this seems to be making her panic somewhat, so it is very likely that I will be axed in the course of this episode under some pretext. She made a complaint about me answering a question this morning, and another one about me asking a colleague to refrain from speaking to me this afternoon. These were the only two interactions with other people that I had, so as you can see, she too is a staring brat. She seems to be looking for evidence of unhappiness, because I have deprived her of the right to humiliate me, and I have responded by marching around with a fixed grin all day.
Meanwhile, a third party is phoning me every five minutes attempting to humiliate me into accepting her behaviour. The idea of me saying no to a narc is horrifying to them.
I explained that I had a sister who was exactly the same, and that saying yes to them may well make your life easier, but it isn’t very smart. I painted the picture and saw the recognition on their faces as I did so.
So, what I am working on at the moment is quite worthwhile in terms of cultural change and raising the general level of confidence and positivity, but as a personal policy it is likely to be disastrous. That is a risk I am willing to take during this episode. It is long overdue.
And on a lighter note, I managed to smuggle my number to floral shirt dude. He would appear to be a gentleman, but time will tell.
