Dear David Cameron
As an SNP member, I would just like to say a few words on behalf of Angus Robertson, who, in the heat of the moment, rated ongoing argument above the traditional and somewhat theatrical values of British Parliament. I, for one, would like to thank you for your term in office, not only because of your support of Scotland, but because you have achieved so much on behalf of the poor and disenfranchised of the UK.
I am sure it is a huge relief for you to be out of office, and a sad day for us in Scotland, since we have no way of knowing whether your successor will be able to push the envelope for Scottish independence as far as you have done. We must express our gratitude for your ongoing assistance in this matter.
The case for Scottish independence ought now to be clear to even the most moronic and thoughtless Scot. The Scottish referendum, and attitudes of the BBC, Labour and Conservatives throughout, enlightened Scots from all walks of life on issues such as the general attitude of English dominion, contempt for our nationhood, desperation to hang on to our many resources, and cutthroat kneejerk responses to every problem presented.
The declaration of airstrikes on Syria the day after the independence referendum, the announcement of the intention to sell our land for fracking, at the risk of our whisky industry, the lack of help for the oil industry, when you had just announced that we could not manage such a big resource by ourselves. All of these have made Scotland aware of Westminster’s contempt for our country and values. EVEL, a critical error for Westminster, was the icing on the cake.
On a personal basis, I always used to be a strong supporter of the BBC. I have you to thank for letting me know that the independent media we all pay for is not at all independent. It has been a real education.
Never has there been as strong support for the SNP. You have opened hearts and minds in Scotland to the prospect of managing our own destiny, and we will, as a nation work harder than ever to achieve that goal as a result. We are all now aware of Blair’s underhand theft of our coastal waters, our resources, our input into the British economy. Without you, none of this would have been possible.
Several generations of Scots are now aware and considerably more astute as a result of your period of tenure. We are inclined to more generosity, in the form of donating to food banks, more open-mindedness, in the form of seeing that there is a way of restoring and investing in our industrial future, and that in the future there will be no need for entire towns to empty as a result of poor planning and grasping from Westminster in the place of conscious investment for the purpose of sustaining populations across Scotland, whether rural, semi-rural or inner city.
As we will have to renegotiate our relationship with the EU, there is now hope for our coastal populations and shipbuilding industry, decimated by your predecessors. It is, alas Blair’s doing that we have lost the Scottish regiments that we, and indeed your own family, were so proud of. Again, we in Scotland would like to extend our thanks for making all of this clear to us. Between you and the sterling political genius of Alex Salmond, we are all developing a strong, confident political consciousness that Joann Lamont of the Labour Party would not have thought possible due to our inferior Scottish DNA.
As you leave office, we look forward to welcoming you, as a fellow Scot, to your forthcoming estate in Scotland. It is increasingly likely that we will, of course, be leaving the UK, and so we look forward to your joining us as we rebuild our country and restore our economy, recovering from the ravages from decades of being bled dry and told that we are too weak to manage on our own. I am sure that the good people of Aberdeenshire, many of them keen Conservatives, will value your input as we create our new political landscape. You have done us a great favour.
Let us hear it for David Cameron. A leader who brought us all to the understanding of Scotland, and its place in the UK. Thank you for years of education and backhanded support for our cause. We wish you well for your future.
Lots of love,
Scotland