It is the 29th of February, and I could not think of anyone else I would bother proposing to, so I guess Boris got lucky again.
My argument for this match, Boris, is as follows:
I am a lot more fun than your current girlfriend.
We have not been in trouble for at least five minutes.
I cannot think of a less appropriate and yet more fun pairing.
We could cause a magnificent scandal of gargantuan proportions.
I gather from Cummings’ blog that I would get on quite well with him.
I am very good at thinking, and nobody else seems to want me to do it.
You haven’t been horrible to me.
I am unlikely to produce yet more babies.
I tried looking up your offensive poem about Scottish people today, and found that it wasn’t even yours. I do know the reason for the PR, don’t worry, but I was most disappointed as I was planning on writing a hilarious riposte.
Marry me, Boris, you know it makes sense.