Why dishonesty is worse than cheating

Personally, I identified early in life that being lied to was a lot worse than being cheated on.  It is the insult to your affection, your intelligence, the damage to your self worth of finding you believed someone that simply lied to you.

Today I find that this is just as true.  Whilst I am not, and have not been in a romantic relationship with anyone but myself for many years, I do not tolerate friends lying to me well at all.

Nor do I tolerate people who think they can take their delusions out on me.

In yet another pickle – a person showing all the signs of narcissism without actually having sufficient wit to have the condition is currently targetting me because he cannot target his preferred option.  I have tried ignoring the narc tendencies and being a friend anyway, but this dude tells you that you are attacking him, no matter what the evidence to the contrary, whilst badmouthing you to anyone that will listen.

He is welcome to do this if he wants, it is unlikely to have a significant effect on my life, but this ‘local worthy’ is not very worthy at all.  I could go into details, but it is not the place to do it.

I have encountered other people he has done this to, they have reacted strongly to it.  I don’t plan to.  Why?  Because it is not worth my effort to do so.  The more he does this, the clearer the pattern of his behaviour becomes, and it just makes what he is doing more obvious.

Eventually, nobody will listen to him at all.  Today he announced that he thought the vast majority of people were ‘shit,’ but I was considered relatively OK even as he made numerous threats.

Even if that were true, it would not be helpful for you to notice.  Twisty and I have had many a conversation about people’s reactions.  It turns out that I am a far happier person than most because I choose to ignore it, even when it severely affects my life.

I think this habit is an important one.  If an element of people’s behaviour can be ignored or avoided to reduce your stress levels, then do so.  It is just not helpful to react, even inwardly, to resting bitch face, badmouthing or pissy behaviour because it wastes time you could be spending on something a lot more interesting.  Just let it go.

It turned out that even though Twisty and I have known each other for almost two decades, I still have many stories he has not heard, because I am usually doing something new.  He, on the other hand, likes to burn out synapses by reliving his traumas.  I do not think this is helpful to him at all.

So, I think the first motto for today is ‘drop it already.’

The second motto for today is not so good.  Do not give the gift of your friendship easily, because most people just waste it.



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