I got some mail asking questions about the last month or so of posts, so I am going to answer them in this post, which is by coincidence, the 400th post.
In reference to the IBM – “Are you stupid? Why are you apologising for a compliment?”
It is not appropriate in this situation for me to be complimenting this person, and I heard myself do it rather than thinking about it. Some people it would not matter but it upset him, upset me and it should not have happened. If I acted like it didn’t matter then I would not be the very serious and slightly geeky chick that I actually am.
Why would you be leaving over it?
I have had people get annoyed with me for not being what they expected before – despite my having been very driven in the course of my career, I do resemble a slightly upmarket hippy that has just left an orgy most of the time and people do get the wrong idea. I wish I could be bothered conforming in order to get on with being a work nazi, but I am afraid I am no longer neurotic enough to be as universally good at everything as I used to be. I do not think that this is a bad thing, to be honest as I was not a happy camper, nor was I much fun to work with.
Are you in love or what?
I’m not likely to be around long enough to find out, but at no point have I made such a claim. The dude has my every sympathy for the issues relating to nerves and ambition, and I want him to have the career I didn’t get to have.
Why didn’t you get annoyed?
I’m very annoyed – with myself.
What is going to happen to you?
Nothing pleasant, but that isn’t new.
Why is it such a big deal?
I am a person, not a robot, and if I do not treat myself as if I matter, nobody else will. They like to try to make me feel bad anyway, so I don’t see why I should stand there and take it. It hasn’t served me well in the past, and it won’t now.
Aren’t you just procrastinating rather than getting on with your project?
A bit, but there are a lot of other issues affecting the project at the moment. The car is in the garage, Twisty is on the way to hospital, and my family is being unpleasant, so I have to prioritise. The timing has to be right for Boris anyway.
When are you going to stop worrying about other people and take care of yourself?
As soon as I am not upsetting anybody, which is probably never.
Thank you for reading the blog for the last 3 years or so, and I hope to be more progressive shortly.