It is funny how your bad dreams change over time.

I just had a horrible dream that I was asking for permission to propose to some thin, grey man and ended up in a group hug with him and his mother.  It was not fun at all.  I didn’t even like him that much.

I woke up thinking how frightening the prospect of old age alone is, and immediately went to check on my mother.

It isn’t as if I have seriously wanted to marry anybody.  I have never worried terribly much about it, since the weak feelings of the men in my life were returned with equal lack of interest in most cases.

On the rare occasion when I have had strong feelings for somebody, I have either run away or they have not been interested at all, in which case I have done something else with it.  I am not particularly persistent in reality.  I like distance, and I do not have much of a problem with my own company as a rule.

When I returned to the computer, a new page had appeared on my timeline in the advertising section.

I am now a member of ‘Banned by David Avocado Wolfe’ which has almost 100 likes in a very short space of time.  I imagine that if this person keeps advertising their page,  it will run into tens of thousands, since Wolfe is quite trigger happy when it comes to blocking people.  One lady that got in touch with me had just paid several hundred pounds for a trip to see him when she was blocked for no apparent reason.  I set her up on a date with some polite guy that was messaging me a lot at the time.  Apparently she had great legs and was an outstanding lay.  She rejected him, but she didn’t feel as bad about being blocked. He is now living with a morbidly obese nurse who pays his mortgage.

The page doesn’t look particularly pleasant, or as if it is likely to have any interesting posts, but I am intrigued that it appeared on my timeline at all, as I have blocked at least nine David Wolfes over the years to avoid the memes.  I have even messaged at least two offshoot pages to advise them to block me since it appeared that he had such a hysterical reaction.  (I was unaware at the time that it was in fact his wife that blocked me, since I was unaware that he had one in the first place.)

I have also blocked at least 6 hate groups, one of which I found Wolfe posting on.  Apparently trolls are more appealing for conversation than I was.  I would have thought by now that the mere mention of the name would preclude my being a member of any clubs. Evidently facebook’s algorithms need updating

So that is a rather depressing and extremely early start to the day.  I shall do some more work on the game, cats permitting.

Tomorrow I shall have to sit through a meeting in which somebody young enough to be my daughter repeatedly claims that I am a young woman who should let my mother be manhandled by strangers because she prefers dealing with them.  I cannot tell you how miserable the last six months has been, with the one exception of my taking the Wolfe by the throat, so to speak, at the event in Birmingham.

I am quite glad I did it, even though the ultimate outcome is likely to remain negative, for whatever his reasons.

Please tell me when things are going to get better?

I haven’t posted for a while, as I have been submerged in game-making.

Sadly, Mood Machine died in the transition to a new format and will have to be restarted, but Best Adventure Ever is going extremely well and I have somewhat higher hopes for it than previously.

In the meantime, the Furniture is slightly delayed by lack of funds.  The Ina Disguise rebuild has meant that my finances have taken a temporary hit which delays the new objects by a month or three.

Long term, this makes sense, so I am not terribly worried about it, but it is a pain juggling things like this, particularly at this time of year.

I have had a lot of email and comments of late, most of it spam, but I got a particularly interesting message from one of my former friends a week or so ago.

It was in response to my trip to Birmingham to see Wolfe, and detailed my becoming famous and having my former friends killed.

It is nice to know that people who expressed such disbelief in me for so long, and who expressed absolute hatred for Wolfe, have such faith in us, however life doesn’t actually work like that.

For one thing, Wolfe and I are not friends.  We could possibly count ourselves as acquaintances now, but I am not sure he would even give me that slot.  All that happened was that I made absolutely sure that he understood my perspective, as I was previously sure he did not get the correct message at all, either from me or anyone else.

For another, I have an awful lot of work to do which depended on his 1)understanding what I am playing at and 2) my actually completing the work.  We are none too keen on direct communication as a result of DRIVING EACH OTHER COMPLETELY INSANE WITHIN SECONDS. Yes, I am too fond of him and very interested in developing his rhetoric.  No, I am not stark raving bonkers and have no intention of becoming so.

So, no, all that we have established is that I am not his enemy and he knows who I am.  I have no plans to kill anyone and have no clue where this idea even came from?  Why would that even be on my task list?

Whomever you are, and I have TWO suspects in mind, both with similar history:

Yes, you were a bit shitty to me, but it doesn’t have much effect on me because I have a lot of other stuff going on.

Yes, you delayed my getting on with the things I was doing prior to my developing Ina Disguise, (as a result of one of Wolfe’s many gags at my expense)  but frankly it was a good thing, because Ina was necessary to protect my work from my family, and the experimental stuff I have done since the Wolfe episode has been a bit whackier and more interesting.

Since I am preparing to hit on the foreign secretary in the next few months, I am unlikely to retain much in the way of privacy at a fairly senior level, so I am not plotting taking out any hits on anyone.

Hope that makes things clearer!

Ina

Work has now begun in earnest on the games.  I had the graphics prepared, but I am now having to rename about a thousand pictures so that the scripts can handle them.  I cannot tell you how mind numbing it is even to organise the files when you have them.

I also want to get rid of the preparation work for the Boris Johnson book, so that I can get back to doing my academic reading for the original book.

Why I needed Wolfe’s approval to write the book I do not know, but apparently I did.  The previous stabbing pain every time I thought about it has gone, and I am quite keen to get on with it, to the point of resurrecting a positively ancient computer to get the old files so that I do not have to retype the material I have left.

For those regular readers who assume that I have some sinister motives about this, that is not the point of me at all.  Please feel free to listen to the following audio:

That is the point of the work I am doing.  It is nothing to do with seduction and everything to do with immortality and the divine inspirational spirit.

When I say this, I do not strictly mean that I am ‘moved by the spirit, man.’  I mean that you follow an inspirational path where it leads as long as it benefits you and the other party.  Where I refer to the beloved, it simply means the recipient of love, rather than implying any relationship that does not exist.  I think I have been very clear everywhere that there is no relationship between Wolfe and I at all, except in my imagination.

What I have to do now, is stop thinking about it, and do the work.  Time will tell if it has any outcome at all, but now that I feel free to do it, it is going to get done with as much efficiency as I can manage.

Looking forward to releasing some artwork shortly, which will mark the beginning of the Boris Johnson period.