Honestly, what a shambles. Do I really have to go down to Westminster and tell them what to do? How would they feel about a sub celebrity in a sparkling burkha and sunglasses yelling at them?
Cameron – Activate article 50 and then step down, preferably taking your boy with you, you are stalling progress for everybody else.
Gove – give it up. Nobody likes you.
May – we got rid of Thatcher, we do not want another one. I am sure the submissives will vote for you, but referring to people as a bargaining chip is not what we want to hear after the deaths caused by the inept girning twins you sat behind in parliament.
Leadsom – for goodness sake, get some public speaking training, and stop apologising for taking the party in the direction it needs to go in. You are no longer working in a stuffy bank job. Try practising in the mirror. You want the country going in a POSITIVE direction, feeding the ROOTS of the economy to benefit everyone by stimulating DOMESTIC growth. Stop messing about.
Boris – go and draw up an open trading agreement that we can sign people up to. One that does not insist on stupid border arrangements and regulations to bar countries from entry. We want to see some variety, and some hope for underperforming nations. Let Britain be the good guy, for once.
You can give Gove a nice grey job working on the brexit agreements in the EU. There must be someone capable of planning a safe zone for displaced people to rebuild their lives without fear. In ten years, we will have to evacuate the equatorial regions, so you need to take action on refugees now to avoid being entirely swamped.
Corbyn – do not step down. If you have to discipline the Blair/Brownites get on with it. Leadership is not about waiting until a stupid person catches up.
Don’t sign TTIP or CETA, get the trading agreement drawn up in advance and reject all the current offerings, as they will not benefit the general population in any way whatsoever. America is a mess, and it is spreading.
GET ON WITH IT. Must I do everything?