How the NHS kills old people

There are a variety of techniques I have seen employed over the last decade.  Broadly speaking, if you are over 80, particularly if you are no longer on your feet, you should be considering private treatment for most ailments if you wish to remain alive.

I imagine that this cut-off will get smaller as time goes on.  It is as much for the benefit of the economy as it is for reducing costs of sustaining the lives of people that a consultant has written off and obtained the agreement of some colleagues, who may or may not have met you, to proceed with a process on the assumption that your ‘best interests’ are served by being dead.

Having had reason to read the legislation that the Social Work Department work from when dealing with adults with incapacity recently, even this has paragraphs which all end the same way ‘the problem ceases when the patient is dead.’  Hence we have systems in place which assume that the best interests of the patient are, in fact, for them to no longer exist.

Whilst the actions of so-called-professionals have given me many reasons for anger of late, it is not surprising then that they operate on several assumptions:

  1. That any carer needs some form of reeducation as they are sublimating their lives for someone else.
  2. That any elderly person getting few visitors is of no value
  3. That any difficult patient is draining resources and of less value.
  4. That ongoing health issues as you get older are again draining resources and making the patient actually cost money.

One of my elderly neighbours was actually told to his face that he was deserving of treatment because he was a high-rate taxpayer.  I was told by three separate doctors what was going to happen to my mother long before it actually happened.

When they decided to finish my father, it was the Liverpool technique.  He was drugged within two days of being in a unit devoted to sparing other hospitals from high death rates on the grounds of his being ‘difficult.’  He was still able to speak and was a relatively happy, plump and mischievous man when he was drugged.  Within four months he was starved, unable to speak and agitated when awake.

When they decided to finish my uncle, he was on  his feet and independent.  He recovered well from a UTI, only to be placed in a draughty ward and given further antibiotics until he contracted pneumonia a week later.

When it came to my mother, they actually came right out and told me.  Seven months before, she had been sent home, painfully thin with terribly fragile skin on the assumption she was going to die.  I knew this because of the daily visits of the district nurses, who were supposed to be there to give her an injection to clear any fragmented clots.  So keen were they to also give her painkillers, that a fight broke out when I changed her diet to a highly technical version of a raw food diet and not only solved the continuing weight loss problem but improved her skin and eradicated the infections she had had for the previous ten years on a normal diet.  My friend, a former medical professional, was astonished by her recovery.  So was her GP, who noted the astonishing improvements in her blood work, since the nurses were so keen to attempt to prove a case against me, that they invented stories about weight loss as she gained, clutter which was caused by visiting carers not knowing the house, and by accusing me of neglect if I left the room within the five minutes that they were there to see my mother.  It was a constant fight for seven months.  The social work department were brought in to tell me that I resented my mother, that my saving her life was, in fact, me somehow abusing her and that anything I did was wrong.

Finally, when she went into hospital after a GI bleed (she had also had one on her previous visit to hospital, so personally I would have regarded this as routine and simply given her a transfusion)  I was asked whether I wanted her to have medical treatment, to which I said yes, of course.  The next doctor I saw said that in future she would be ‘eased out.’  The third consultant stated that she did not believe in the science of my mother’s diet, and when I referred her to the blood test results I had established, simply did not bother to look because she was wrong.

I have had many reasons over the years to be highly suspicious of people who assume that their education is the end of them having to learn anything.  Crap doctors, crap accountants, crap former bank managers.  People who take their salary, pay their bills and carry on administering a conveyor belt.

You may choose to live in blissful ignorance.  It will not help you when it happens to your family.

Maybe, like my local shopkeeper and my neighbour, you actually want your loved ones dead.  I did not, and on the assumption that there are still some other compassionate and intelligent people left in the world, I suggest that you get out and learn what they are failing to teach so-called professionals.  There is no need for too many antibiotics.  As I said to a consultant pathologist I was working alongside several years ago.

We don’t need more doctors.  We need better health.

Where is the funding for that? Why aren’t the public told the truth?  If we fed animals the way we feed ourselves, the animals would be taken from us. How come a £150000 a year consultant cannot manage to find it out by themselves, and I can? I am very sorry that I did not know what I know now in time for it to have spared my father his miserable death.

I have heard a frightening number of people who think these issues will never affect them.  They will, and sooner than you think.  In memory of my parents, I think it is time to do something about it.

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How the world works

A potted history

The 1950s, for a starting point, which is similar to now because they too had been wooed into thinking that manufactured chemicals were all beneficial and anything modern was good. This was immediately post-war, which saw the massive growth of the chemical and pharmaceutical industry, both of which had hugely benefitted from WW2.

This was the post-union golden age in the USA, where large manufacturers were enabled by lack of workers’ rights.  This meant potentially unlimited growth, however education was less accessible, so your degree actually meant something, and your technical skill, often gained in your workplace from an apprenticeship gained on leaving school, was duly rewarded.

A high level of employment  meant that consumer confidence was relatively high. In the UK, properties which had been impossible to maintain during the war period were now being snapped up by this population of eager consumers, who set to work spend, spend, spending on new-fangled fabrics and trendy furniture.

A golden time for many, still miserable for the rest, the 1950s saw huge interest in marketing, methods of communicating and advertising, on which my father founded his career as a commercial artist.

Moving through to the 70s, and we see the ‘natural backlash,’ and the food counter culture, which my father was again a big part of.  Both of my family doctors as a child were homeopaths as well as conventional doctors.  The enmity that we see now between natural health and conventional medicine did not yet exist, and so as a child, I was just as likely to be prescribed herbs or homeopathy as an antibiotic.  At that time, the pharmaceutical companies had not yet seen fit to condemn anyone in opposition, and perfectly normal people did not see fit to argue over science that does not exist.

Do you see the difference between this and today?  Today the Board of Nutrition and the medical community are entirely dominated by the food manufacturers and pharmaceutical companies.  They endlessly repeat a mantra of guidelines that aren’t even correct.

You are told to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day.  The benefits of increasing your consumption continue on a steep trajectory until you hit seven.  The World health organisation recommend 9-15.  The reason for this lie is that it is not possible for producers of fresh fruit and vegetables to have a member of the board of nutrition on the payroll to represent them. This lie alone ought to tell you that something is wrong with your reliance on advice from authority figures that you used to unthinkingly trust.

The medical community, meanwhile, are apparently taught that all natural medicine is to be condemned and replaced with pharmaceutical products.  This change has happened in my lifetime.  The doctors themselves seem to be unaware of this change, presumably the free holidays have affected their memories.

This attitude percolates down to the point that people scrap daily online that everything ‘scientific’ is good and anyone that does not subscribe to their viewpoint is bonkers or stupid.  Science is sponsored.  As with all statistics, the results are used to paint a picture, but that is all it is.  In a vast number of cases, the science does not exist, because the science does not attract profits for companies who have had it all their own way for decades, with budgets bigger than entire countries.

The only way to reach the truth, or to get the level of treatment that is possible, is to find out by yourself. Find out what to eat, find out how to solve problems that medical science cannot solve, of which there are many.

Someone online mentioned trusting a professional the other day.  My experience of professionals, whether they be financial, scientific or medical, is that they are paid to give you information that is limited by the scope of their day-to-day jobs.  You cannot expect them to be interested in their subject, because they have a salary to spend and holidays to take.  Trusting a professional is not an option.

The only answer is to find out by yourself.  The world is not improving, and you are not stupid.  Trust nobody, there is a lot of money invested in keeping you dumb.

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A sad outcome of health awareness

Letter to my relatives

Apparently the combination of your totally ignoring her diet, and the fact that I wanted her to medically recover from her GI bleed has caused some considerable stress at the hospital.

You should be made aware that six months ago your mother came out of that same hospital with tissue paper skin, extremely thin and was on the point of being drugged on the assumption of imminent death by the district nursing office without anybody even mentioning it. I contemplated taking photographs of just how bad she was and now regret not doing so.

This is when I changed her diet, which has meant that her skin improved, her oedema went down and she has needed less antibiotics over the last six months than at any point in the previous 5-10 years. I am terribly sorry that you fail to find that impressive, but I cannot help you.

The social work department then decided to use this not particularly unconventional dietary approach in yet another attempt to attack me because one or more of you decided to try to blame me for her weight loss. Since you bought her jumpers more appropriate for a doll when in hospital, you had clearly noticed prior to your complaint to social work.

Despite her diet being cleared by two dieticians, one of whom came here on three occasions, the issue has now caused so much confusion for ward staff that I am no longer going to make any attempt to keep her well via her diet. You are, therefore, welcome to feed her anything you like as the ward is now responsible for her nutrition and they do not care. I have had to tolerate more than enough accusations from stupid, selfish people who could not care less about your mother or her health.

A new attempt to prevent your mother from returning home is now imminent. Several spurious incidents with the social work department have indicated that this is the case, and the general attitude seems to be that as your mother is ninety with dementia, her life is not worth very much and I am to be attacked until I stop caring. I could give you several examples of people saying this, but going by your ongoing attitude, it is not worth my time or energy.

In the event that they do this, your mother will be dying in exactly the same needless way as your father, so say your goodbyes now whilst she is awake. Be aware that every effort was made to avoid this outcome, at quite enormous personal and financial cost.

I have, as previously mentioned, no intention of watching a second parent be clinically drugged and starved to death to suit you or their miserable careers so you are on your own with that lengthy misery.

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Another David Wolfe post in memory of my father

David Wolfe post in memory of my father

Ten years ago, nearly to the day, my father’s life was ended in an NHS hospital.  The hospital in question used to exist to terminate elderly and terminally ill patients, so that the statistics were all at the same location.  Whilst it was a superficially nice place, it was the equivalent of taking your pet to the vet for the last time.

My father had vascular dementia, which I knew very little about at the time.  Nevertheless, I made sure that he was able to stay at home for as long as possible.  My mother, not the most proficient of carers, would not have lasted as long as she did had she not had someone there.  She still lied about the help I was providing until she was not listened to by the rest of the family anyway.

A lifelong socialist and pacifist, my father rebelled by marrying my mother, whom he met on the shores of Lake Geneva, despite both being from Glasgow.  His family were very well known communist/extreme trade unionists in Glasgow.  My great grandfather was behind the revolution that had tanks in George Square.

A large proportion of my father’s family rejected him when he bought this house and married a militarist Conservative, although my mother was not the most thoughtful of political thinkers.  He never told her, she was quite shocked when I broke it to her a couple of years ago.

During WW2, he and his friends were conscientious objectors.  One was jailed for it, but later had a very respectable life and did quite well.  This would not happen now, of course.  My father was sent to work in the forests as he had defended himself in court and it was established that he had rather obscure religious reasons for his communitarian beliefs and seven single widowed aunts from WW1 to support.

His interest in natural health was so obsessive that it cost quite an astonishing amount even when I was growing up in the 70s.  We had a dehydrator going and sprouts along the window sills.

He was a very quiet, humorous individual, who you did not get to know unless you showed some interest.  Therefore I was told the family secrets even my mother did not get to hear.  I have to say, since his death I have become more and more like him.  My attitude to Wolfe has been much like my father’s love affair with this house.  When he failed to secure it on the first attempt, he shuffled around muttering “that was my house” until the person who had bought it changed his mind and sold it to him.

If anyone deserved to be saved by my persistent interest in natural health, it was my father.  I did try to extract him from the clutches of the NHS, but to no avail as my mother had just had a stroke and was considered ‘a handful,’ although there was no question of my having any support at the time.  I was just expected to manage, regardless of anything going on in my life.

What really gets me annoyed is the fact that within two days of being in that hellhole he was drugged because he was considered difficult.  When I challenged this, I was flatly told that he was suddenly in pain.  He was still capable of speech and eating normally prior to this.  Within three months he was less than half the weight and we were told that he must not even drink anything.

The figures for Alzheimer’s deaths in Scotland indicate that this is deliberate policy.  I can see that the NHS regard aging as an unacceptable burden, and that they are trying to take quality of life into account, what I do not understand is why the alternatives are so frightening to them.  I am still suffering from an invasion of nurses who appear to think I should be burnt as a witch because my mother is still alive, despite their best efforts.

I am, rather helpfully, very angry about what happened to my father, and about the continuous bitching and battling I have to do to protect my mother.  Anger is a useful energy.  I daresay it is considered negative in some circles.  Personally I think it is the best fuel ever.

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What happened to the last decade?

Over the last decade, I went from being a Senior Banking Consultant, government researcher and corporate researcher to now being a fledgling author and artist.  During all of this time I was renovating and maintaining a mansion which will never belong to me and taking care of my parents.

At the beginning of this period, I had around six ex-boyfriends who used to come and visit, thankfully missing each other in the process and helping out if they felt like it.  None of them were particularly keen to get me out of my shell, they kind of delivered themselves like pizzas as and when they were not busy.

Overall, the crucial years from the age of 25, a long time ago now, were taken up with my parents and family.  I had previously been a successful chef, and was out-earning the rest of the family when I was told that I was to take care of things as nobody else would do it.  I could have ignored this, but it turned out to be a statement of fact.

I only really realised that my life was over at around 33 or so, when it proved impossible to get decent employment locally, and I could not leave my mother to take care of my father alone as she was not a natural carer by any means.

So, from being absolutely work-obsessed, driven and very keen on pretty poor quality relationships with equally lazy boys, I have become a loner, who slowly moves towards a life of self-expression, for good or ill.

My friend from Slovenia, who I got to know when building the island in Second Life, is now married and is contemplating, at 40, having a child.  I am contemplating the fact I will never have a child as I do not leave the house and have no prospect of forming any new relationships.  The old ones were curtailed as a result of my overwhelming feelings for Wolfe.  I do not regret this at all.  In many ways he was an excuse to move on from a rather stagnant life.  Nor do I genuinely envy anybody.  I just feel rather despondent at the moment and am struggling a bit with the idea of moving on with no goal in mind.

As it is evident that I will never trust anyone enough to have a child with them now, I am inclined to focus on my appearance as a major project that I can spend a lot of time thinking about.  I also need to resolve some of the issues that caused my current problem set in the first place – the fact that I never felt that I looked good enough, the fact that I have insufficient real emotional support to let things go easily, (my reaction to Wolfe was most uncharacteristic)  the fact that I have failed to get any of the things I wanted – life in a rural location, career, children etc.  A major worry is that I have no real way of building a pension.

I always have at least half a dozen plans, which I usually carry out within five years or so.  A former friend recently commented that it was always worth dropping in on me every ten years or so because it is never boring and there is always a masterplan.  This is not the problem.  The problem is that my heart really isn’t in it at the moment, and I feel as if I have been swimming around the same bowl for the last decade.  I can handle being wrong, I have been wrong countless times.  I just don’t know quite how to break out of the cycle of being wrong over and over again.

One good thing about the Wolfe era was that it forced me to give up a lot of things that were holding me back, and it forced me into a situation in which I had to express myself publicly since there was no way of doing it privately.  For this I am strangely grateful.  Every step I take at the moment, however, is tempered with a feeling of impending doom.  I am sure that this will pass, but at the moment it is rather sad.

None of the people that I have left behind over the last few years did anything unusually wrong.  There was more of a generalised wrongness that meant that I was constantly feeling suppressed or undervalued.  Wolfe was very much the last straw in that lengthy period.  I was insulted, under-valued and not listened to, not directly by him, but by his associated entourage, and after the experience of my family stabbing me over and over again in the hope of gaining money from my parents, enough was enough.

So, although I am numb, lonelier than ever and again forced into a situation in which I have to come out of my shell or perish, you will not catch me genuinely hating Wolfe or his crappy idea of business practice.  I have learned and observed a lot that I would never otherwise have noticed, and I am overall better off as a result. despite my almost total destruction in the course of my latest metamorphosis.

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David Wolfe Haters Updated 2017

Just before I go for my walk – I just had a quick look around the newer, calmer, more measured haters of Wolfe on Youtube.  Most interesting.  Things have moved on by quite a bit since five years ago.  Wolfe has developed his crowd gathering strategy by quite a bit, and the offended vegans making videos appear to be a bit calmer than last time I looked at this.

I only found one offended customer, and this was an offended 801010er who had gone on one of his courses, only to get crap customer service and lose 800 dollars.  So, then, Wolfe evidently still needs to upgrade his staff.  Sigh.  Were I to show you my emails, which I have no intention of doing, I could show you some far more extreme material from far angrier people, including some people from the Icke camp.

Right then, to inject some rationality into this:

Pros of Wolfe

Wolfe is the most useful person the entire alternative health industry has, because he is utterly shameless about crowd-gathering, can muster enthusiasm about the most obscure topics, and has an extremely tough shell as a result of doing this for more than a couple of decades.

He is the most successful marketer in the business, and there are many businesses that are nothing to do with him making money off his work.  He gives away more work than most people do in the course of a full time week.

Yes, a proportion of his recent work is quite far out, but it keeps the audience awake, entertained and interested in learning more, whether this is from him or on their own.  The point is that listeners with more than one brain cell gain confidence from his work, not that listeners who are not so blessed follow blindly.  That is not the point of Wolfe at all, although I see that there are several such people milling around Youtube.

From someone who had a lot of knowledge before I had ever heard of him, I can tell you that his work is extremely useful in terms of making you more committed to fighting your corner and dealing with problems conventional medicine cannot manage.  I tend to disregard quite a bit of what he says, but other things are quite useful.

Cons of Wolfe

He keeps pissing people off, including me at times.  Arrogance is not a virtue.

He is too self-interested, but that is in the nature of successful people, so it is probably a useful affectation.

He doesn’t seem to look after number 1 terribly well because he is too busy having a good time.

He relies too heavily on esoteric role models such as Rudolf Steiner.  Yeah, Wolfe, we all have our Steiner moment.  Most of us grow out of it at age 17 and stop wearing the stupid hat.  Over-use of this stuff makes you appear to be a shill, which is not helpful at all to those concerned about such things WHO ARE AN INCREASING PART OF YOUR MARKET.  This is one area in which you can easily be defeated so you need to sort that out.

HE STILL HASN’T SORTED OUT THE STAFFING ISSUE.  GET A GRIP WOLFE!

Whoever is now running Longevity Warehouse – yes, I see why the prices keep escalating – because people keep buying – but perhaps a budget or wholesale range might make you look a little more egalitarian?  If you want to build a true society, you have to cater for people other than rich people with no knowledge or time to go elsewhere.  In the meantime you are losing business from everybody else.  What is he working for if not to make yet more money?

 

Personally, I have gained a lot from Wolfe, without spending a penny on anything, but then I decided fairly early on that it was more useful to me to like him rather than not like him, no matter what he did.  Nevertheless I was also very critical, as I do not think being nice is necessarily being a good friend to anyone.  (we aren’t, just to be clear – the website represents a lengthy period of stress and upset)  He has been a major thorn in my side, and I do not owe him any more favours than he has already had, although I am sure he would say the same or worse about me were he to say anything at all.

You can waste a lot of time on picking holes in people.  Wolfe is a royal pain in the ass, but he is driven, successful, very good at coming up with more strategies for increasing his community, who then become irritated and go to someone else.  Therefore everybody is depending on his being successful.  Be careful who you shit on, because that goose is still laying the golden eggs in the alternative health market.

 

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Intellectualism and Science – a dangerous correlation?

As a historian, I have to take information from a wide variety of sources.  You will find any social scientist doing much the same thing.  I studied history both from an arts and a social science perspective, so I do a little of both, although I have to say I err on the side of social sciences.  I simply find the arts side of an intellectual pursuit of history a bit flowery and a little bit too much like guesswork.

In the last few years, I have seen more and more posts saying that ‘if it isn’t scientific, it isn’t true.’  I think this is just as dangerous as saying that creativity is insanity.  It is a very dangerous precedent.  Where, I wonder, do people imagine knowledge comes from, if not from testing a ‘mad’ idea that popped into your head?

The vast majority of new science is funded – someone paid for the pursuit of the knowledge.  As such, it seems to me, that it is very much tied up with our corporatist future.  If the public are led to believe that only a wo/man in a white coat can tell you the truth, then no alternative knowledge is to be respected, and you are automatically a crank, even when you are right.

Not to denigrate the strides made in the pursuit of scientific research in relation to health, but we are seeing more and more previously discredited knowledge being hijacked in the name of science.  Only yesterday, I was reading that a company had ‘discovered’ that inflammation had an impact on health, and were researching it.  Anyone who has ever been involved with natural health has this as basic knowledge.

Therefore, the scenario I described in Best Scandal Ever is swiftly coming true.  It is a very difficult thing to combat, without making an impact on culture.  I see more and more advertising reminiscent of the 1950s, ‘scientific’ replacing ‘natural’ as being highly desirable.  Sooner or later, in our march towards our genetically engineered and very unhealthy, both economically and literally, future, we will be told that natural is dirty and not good for us.

Having dealt with a lot of jealous middle-aged men over the last few years, who all kept telling me that my new found health was invisible to them, that my diet was a disorder, and that eating properly was unscientific because it did not fit in with what they had been told by our corrupt board of nutrition, I have direct experience of how dangerous this is, and how narrow minded it makes people.  Therefore, when I see articles suggesting that anyone arguing against commonly accepted ‘science’  I feel quite sorry for the person who has mistaken science for intellectualism, and who is no longer capable of free thinking research or objective testing.

The example of my mother is a case in point – if I had not had the experience of the last ten years, with my father having been starved to death by the NHS under the Liverpool care plan, to make life more convenient, a common practice, (deaths from Alzheimers in Scotland leapt up by a whopping 31% in one year, for example)followed by my own spectacular recovery from a condition regarded by the NHS as not worth bothering with not once but twice now, I would not have had the confidence to stand up and fight them off when they began the process of drugging my mother to death.  As it is, I did, and she is doing very well and has made a good recovery from her stay in hospital.  The point is, that the possession of authority does not translate to correct or morally right.  The point is also that low denomination understanding of centuries of knowledge is likely to be pretty damned basic.

The real question is – why are these so-called intellectuals rejecting knowledge that has been acquired over centuries for corporate-sponsored information delivered by a man in a coat?  Have they lost their capacity for imagination or open mindedness?  The hostility is astonishing.  At one point, my aging friend was drinking a product entirely composed of chemicals just because it looked more ‘scientific’ than my highly technical natural diet.  He sat and watched me reverse my age by at least ten years, and still fought me every step of the way.

There has to be some way of stopping this rot and encouraging imagination, open-mindedness and selective information gathering before it is too late.  All that this current climate of science worship is fostering is a lack of enquiry.  This is not good for the future of science, never mind the future of humanity because without imagination, without independent thought, and without alternative knowledge sources, the pool from which to draw will become very narrow indeed.

 

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On being kind to others (obesity)

In the course of a relatively short life, I have been everything from 98lb to 311lb. (150lb is probably about right given my build)  In my case, any attempt at a normal diet after the age of about 9 or so ended up with continuous weight gain. (following glandular fever) I do not eat entire packets of biscuits or fries and now have an extremely high level of nutritional knowledge.  I just cannot eat ‘normal’ food or engage in social eating of any kind.

It has taken, for a variety of reasons, decades to accept this and put myself first.  Even when I found the answer, something came along to cause me to ignore it.

As you can probably tell by the website, my second love is men.  Food is more of an obsession.  I was a Michelin level chef for a few years, and following my education became very interested in food politics.

Causes of self-neglect have varied.  From avoiding men, to being upset by men, to trying not to be assaulted by men, to ignoring my own needs for either gender, I am guilty of having put myself last at every opportunity.  I used to think that this was a virtue.  I have now, finally, thanks to the Wolfe era, accepted that it is my biggest failing.  With the exception of my mother, who is 90, I will no longer be doing that.

So, one of my theories about why people like me put on so much weight is that they have the following issues:

  • lack of self-confidence caused by bullying because they have forgotten how to assert themselves
  • lack of awareness about gut health – eating badly causes you to eat even more badly
  • poor ability to prioritise themselves over other people in order to survive
  • crippling social anxiety caused by reactions to their appearance

To be fair, in my case, the issue was complicated by a lengthy battle with my love of smoking, which, being orally fixated, helped for a while, however the real basic problem is the repulsive comments made to me at an early age by my sisters.  For those who do not understand the effects of bullying at an early age – all those nasty comments you make stay with the person forever.  Be very careful what you say to people.  I will probably never choose to spend time with women because of this, because I am always looking for the next negative comment to cling to.  That is my problem, not theirs, but it is a fact.

So, in the spirit of empowering a few people who hide in their homes as I do, please remember the following:

  • If anyone tells you that you don’t matter – run.
  • Sometimes people are just horrible – it isn’t you its them – it took me until I was 39 to accept that.
  • No problem ever got better because you got fatter.
  • Walking is a better way of dealing with emotion than stuffing it down along with some food.
  • Everything you put into your mouth affects your health.  Everything.
  • You deserve to feel good, no matter what you imagine you have done or failed to do.
  • Repairing the damage starts from losing the guilt and putting yourself first.

Being a kind person is very nice, but it may well be killing you.  Having been put through a lot, you may regard your kindness as your best feature, but in terms of your own health, it may not be.  Learn to make space for yourself, and avoid anyone that will not let you do that.

If you have any questions, feel free to use the comments.

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Ina Disguise build update 1

The Story so far:

In early July, I realised I was again at risk of a stroke.  I never usually suffer from headaches, but my chest pains and headache combinations were getting worse again due to the stress of having to fight off the NHS as I saved my mother’s life. They and social services objected to her new raw diet despite her having previously stopped eating or being awake for very much of the day.  I was exhausted, very stressed and was starting to struggle even doing shopping for my mother.

She had been sent home to me painfully thin, with teabag skin. She a low chance of survival after a spell in hospital because I had sent her in to have a clot scanned.  I thought this would take one night.  Due to changes in consultants, infections and other problems caused by her normal diet and some well-meaning but rather daft staff, she ended up stuck there for two months.  Hopefully we won’t be doing that again for a while.

After having had to explain her diet in low-to-moderate detail to a variety of so-called professionals (there wasn’t one that fully understood how her diet worked or how it would replace four medications)  I eventually won out, and have now been left in peace again.

Because I was prevented from doing much of her additional therapy and my artwork by a series of bitchy nurses, progress on the artwork side of the project has stopped for the moment.

This has caused me to do a lot more writing again, since nobody can complain about that, and I stopped eating garbage around about early July.  I went low carb until my gut recovered from the inevitable imbalance of normal food, then went back onto Supermix only about three weeks ago.

Progress has been slower than in the past, however it has been about 8 weeks now and I have lost 42lb.  My face is in recovery (I have some delightfully hideous pictures to prove it.)  I am now doing 2x5k walks per day, and I have taken up cycling, although it will be some time before I am even able to do half an hour as I have never regularly cycled in the past.  The last time I had to shift this amount of weight, it took about 5 months to get to this point with exercise, so I am still getting the benefit of my previous raw diet.

Taking into account that last time I had decades of toxic refuse instead of about three years, this does not seem like bad progress so far to me.  Much of the struggling when you are taking up exercise after hiding for a long time is actually just phagocyte activity, as in shaking things up in order for your body to get used to the idea that you are going to be doing it all the time.  It is disappointing not to have the same spectacular occurrences of 21lb weight loss in one week this time, but is probably a good sign in terms of my body having worked better despite the abuse of a normal diet.

I have never been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, but I suspect that if the parameters were not so strict I would be, as I have low blood sugar to start with.  Therefore when they do a fasting blood sugar test, it comes up normal when for me it is actually sky high.  I do have a marker for fatty liver, but no GP so far has been remotely concerned about it.  I am also blessed with low blood pressure, so I do not get hassled about that often.

The last time I was raw, my blood work was outstanding, so I am waiting until my weight goes down some more before I go and re-verify that.  I can tell you that from a prognosis of ‘nearly dead’  my mother is now the subject of monthly tests because they cannot believe her recovery.  From constant UTI infections and a state of decline, she no longer requires antibiotics because of her raw diet.  Even I was impressed, and I had taken this radical action because I knew what the NHS had done with my father at a similar stage in his illness.

It was not until I saw this, that I realised that the raw foodies are completely correct.  No other form of nutrition would have pulled her back from quite so close to the brink.  I am not saying that anybody could have pulled it off, her diet is really quite technical, but certainly low carbing, paleo  etc would not have done it.  Therefore I am somewhat more committed to raw than I was previously.  7 years ago it was a fabulous cultural curiosity, now it is a matter of life and death, to put it bluntly.

From a personal perspective, what was a casual attempt to stop my health declining in July, became more motivated when I discovered Wolfe was coming over in early August, which seems to have reengaged some hormones (nuff said) and certainly improved my motivation.  I basically conned myself by thinking about going even though I knew it was an extremely bad idea in reality.  I have now switched over to focusing on re-modelling Ina Disguise to become an actual person, so it is more of a professional interest.  I ain’t no fangirl, and I am not the type of chick that thinks it is cool to chase married people.  It would have been nice to sort out the work issue, but that is really up to him, and he is way too lazy/vain to bother finding out.  Therefore Ina will be taking over the original project in the fullness of time.

So, in terms of fitness recovery, compared with my last foray into the world of raw food, this time is a massive improvement.  Supermix is, of course extremely comprehensive now, and I am a lot more savvy about the whole raw food concept than I was 7 years ago.  When you are new to it, you get caught up in a lot of bullshit and self-doubt. This time I doubt nothing, which is immensely helpful and less stressful.

The fact that you need so much sleep to start with is a bit annoying, but apart from that the inch loss so far is even more impressive than the weight loss.  I will keep hammering at it until the job is done, now that I have no further concerns about:

  • whether it is the best diet possible – it is
  • whether I am bothering anyone – I’m not
  • whether I will ever have any options in terms of family and career – I don’t see it

Therefore, I figure, I may as well devote myself to creating a beautiful Ina.  Whilst I do that, I will be creating a persuasive, technical, political and economic argument for Ina to present.  I have no idea whether I can do it in terms of dealing with the public, but I will give it a damn good try.  Wolfe, in the meantime, is welcome to enjoy his semi-retirement. (waves)

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RIP Raw Food Culture and Motivation

As I am dealing with rather a lot of change at the moment, physically and mentally, I decided to take a quick look around the raw foodies on youtube today.

The last time I bothered to look was some years ago, around the time that Patenaude and Gianni were telling everyone that none of the ‘leaders’ were actually raw.  This was when FullyRawChristina (apologies if the name is wrong) seemed to be becoming immensely popular.

I stopped looking at any raw food material around 2012 or so, due to my failure to communicate with Wolfe about the original book.  It was just too depressing.  Now I am looking at videos that are even more depressing, for a different reason. Fresh faced young things complaining that they were ‘sold’ an impossible lifestyle, that they expected all their problems to be solved with positive thinking, that they felt guilty about having feelings at all, that their periods stopped etc etc.

Even Freelea is punting a non-raw diet.  Who decided that it all had to be so defined?

Liferegenerator seems to have moved from his stance on 801010 to more of a Monarch-style rawness.  He also seems to be making some rather Wolfe like videos on keeping his hair, whilst losing it.

If I was a nastier person, I would laugh at this, but really I have never seen so many people cut off their noses at once.

From the standpoint of somebody who had always had problems with food and positivity generally (see previous post on positive thinking)  a few things were obvious the minute I even considered being raw.

  • an attitude of gratitude and feeling positive every day ain’t gonna happen.  This is a sales pitch mentality, originally created before any of us were born by a vitamin salesman who trained Jim Rohn.  Being healthy does not solve all or even any of your other problems.  It did not help that Mr Charisma, David Wolfe, did not like emotional confrontation, and a lot of people got suckered into that, including me very briefly.  After that moment, I confronted until I was blue in the face, to no avail.
  • 100% raw, whilst I gave it a damn good try, was not sustainable long term because you spend most of your day thinking about, preparing or finding the correct food.  It was also quite expensive in some cases.
  • Ignoring your B12 requirement is insanity. (801010)
  • Inserting the word vegan into anything makes it a niche product, and cuts your audience by about 80%.

The strengths of the raw ‘culture’ on the other hand were as follows:

  • adopting a fairly anti-social lifestyle in terms of food altered adoptee’s personal relationships, in terms of prioritising themselves over whatever their former friends were doing.
  • feeling better meant making slightly better decisions short term.
  • looking good is always nice.
  • learning to take partial advice is supposed to make you more capable of leadership and less inclined to follow ‘leaders’ in the first place.  It is not supposed to turn you into a Patenaude-like whiner.

As I said many years ago about the 801010 Wolfe-haters back then (who were far less embittered than the more recent ones that contacted me) You take up the information that you need and you explore further.  You do not cling to every mistake and bit of bad behaviour in order to discredit both them and yourself for listening in the first place.  It is a bit like considering suicide.  Utterly pointless and self-defeating.

As the scene seems to have kind of imploded, perhaps now is the time for some sense to enter the world of raw food.  The fact is that 100% was never going to work for everyone.  On a macrobiotic basis alone, expecting people from all over the world to eat the same thing made no sense at all.  Cold countries tend to have been meat eating, and tropical countries less so for a start.  There are ways around this if you are really determined, but the learning curve was too high for most people.  Arguing over which diet was best did not help.  I believe I mentioned this several years ago.

From a personal perspective, my hop, skip and jump into raw food has not only saved my life, but also my 90 year old mother’s, simply because it is a very clean way of setting a base for natural medicine.  My learning curve was not as unassailable as most people’s, because of my father and my intense scrutiny of anything I do, but even I double check everything.  I certainly don’t fall hook, line and sinker behind any so called leader, no matter what my personal feelings may or may not be.  We are not vegan or even vegetarian, but the fact is that raw foodism comprises 90% of our diet for very good health reasons.

If anyone in the raw food line of work had any sense, they would restart their thinking process along the lines of actual nutrition.  The WHO say that 9-15 portions of fruit and vegetables should be the basis for anyone’s diet, not five as people are told.  If you start from there, you can create a much more stable basis for your raw foodism argument.  Why arsing about is necessary instead of actually helping people I do not know.  Nobody cares if Freelee hates Durianriders.  Nobody. Get your acts together.

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