All about Boris

The Mayor Boris Johnson in Croydon, South London, Tuesday November 22, 2011. Photo by Andrew Parsons/ Parsons Media

 

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Interviewed him for a TV current affairs research job in the 1980s.

My notes say he was a shallow, egocentric upper class twit who I would not trust to go to the loo on his own.

Johnson is typical of the upper class boot boys of his era. Unprincipled, self serving and arrogant beyond belief. Bullington boys with enough money to buy their way out of the trouble they caused, wrecking restaurants, indecently assaulting women passers by and using threatening and abusive behaviour that would get us plebs locked up.

Don’t laugh at Boris,give him he hatred he and his list boy friends warrant.

 

OK – I have a problem with this comment on a number of levels – the first one being that neither Stanley nor Boris are genuinely upper class.  Boris is more aware of this than his sister, which is why he has perfected his presentation skills to the point that he remains likeable and relatively honest for a Tory.

Having experienced Rachel, who works hard at not understanding how the other half live, Boris is a deceptively responsible person when compared with Stanley, whose luck in life is matched only by a psychotic libido.  Yes, he has polished a public act called Boris, but no, I cannot agree that he is a standard Bullingdon boot boy, especially as he avoided actually doing anything with the club as he did not like forking out cash for destroying people’s businesses and getting pissed.

In fact, Boris is a scholarship boy, spurred on by sibling rivalry, and Stanley is the son of a farmer.  A farmer who lost his farm because Stanley’s dreams and opportunities lay elsewhere.  To suggest that they are merely upper class twits would be a gross underestimation of their social skills.  Actually, they are fairly ordinary Somerset farmers who are now doing something else.

I rather like this mischief.  The idea of having a trademark manner and hairstyle which renders you memorable, combined with the arch observation skills necessary to pull such social mobility off with aplomb, appeals to me enormously.

Currently, Boris sees his role as distraction.  As long as you are watching Boris, you aren’t watching boring old Phillip Hammond or Theresa May.  Who remembers a single thing Hammond did as foreign secretary?  Exactly.  He is no great shakes as a chancellor either, but they are all very rich.

Boris is guilty of flippancy and he is guilty of not taking politics terribly seriously, but this is why he presents a good antidote to the massively grim notion of Conservative rule.  He is also providing himself with sufficiently great publicity never to have to worry about selling a book.  If he decided not to bother going to work tomorrow, I have no doubt that he would not want for money.

This is not to say that Boris is always nice.  Plainly this is not so, but again who really wants to look much further than the entertaining front?  Stanley is very good at this wall of distraction too, which makes it easy for them to deceive when necessary.

To conclude, insulting someone on the basis of class is snobbery, whether you are looking up or down.  One chooses one’s persona to a great degree, exemplified by my being considerably posher than my siblings.  This sounds like I am acting, especially as I went to a horrid school and my siblings all went private.  I can tell you that it is not an act at all, I, like Boris spent two years from ten to twelve avariciously reading Wodehouse.  It is an imprint which does not leave you. (I can tell you that it is no advantage at all when you live in Glasgow and have an infamous leader from Red Clydeside as an ancestor)

Boris’s carpet is in the final stages, but I would like to present it with the first of the furniture collection, Bordello Rhetoric, as they represent both Boris and Al.  As ever, these are made as gifts, but should Boris not wish to pick up his presents, they will be put out for sale in due course.  Once I have the shoes and the furniture complete, I will commence work on Lucifer Ogilvie.

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