Young, free and obese

Or even, not so young, free and obese.  Either is fine.


As you may or may not know from the health section of this blog, I have gained and lost over a thousand pounds of weight in the  course of my life. I do not eat entire cakes or packets of biscuits.  I do not have regular take-aways, and I have never liked chips.  The only thing I am inclined to eat far too much of is butter, and that is in conjunction with the consumption of bread or oatcakes.  The minute I rule out those two things, the problem is gone. My thinner sister of the same height regularly consumes more than I do, although as she is not being bullied by a pair of vindictive old women, she gets to leave the house now and again.


That being said, I have an emotional eating issue.  Sometimes whatever has happened seems very insignificant and I do not even want to discuss it, but the end result is the same.  I stand in the kitchen, out of sight and try to figure out a way of not thinking about it any more.  The easiest way to stop yourself talking, is to fill your mouth with food.  By far the easiest.


After years of being very successful on a wide variety of diets, I am going to save you a whole lot of research in the following few paragraphs.


Other people do not matter


Listening to other people’s opinions, or even seeking them out, is not going to get you anywhere.  Stop doing that.  If they are critical of whatever you are doing, just avoid them altogether.  This includes your family and closest friends.  Sometimes especially them. If they suggest that you are an embarrassment, or that you look terrible in your favourite t shirt, even if you do, leave them behind. Attitude is a lot sexier than a tiny waist, no matter what you are or are not wearing or doing. Concentrate on that.


Low Carbing


Low carbing is a good idea for the following reasons – if you maintain a low carb diet, you cut out simple carbohydrates such as wheat flour, sugar, potato, rice.  These are cheap filler items, which nutritionists are taught help you avoid bowel cancer, and are kept within generalised nutritional advice because the advisors on the Board of Nutrition are on the payroll of large food processing companies such as Mars, Kraft, and Coca Cola.  You are advised to eat them because these people know very well that they mess up your gut bacteria and keep you eating more of them.  Nobody is genuinely addicted to cheap chocolate, pizza, bread, fries or fizzy drinks.  If you try clearing the remains of what you have already eaten from your gut, you will soon find that you do not miss them at all.


You can achieve better avoidance of bowel cancer if you replace these things with more vegetables, and your bowel actually does a bit of vitamin extraction.  If you get rid of these things, you may also catch it early enough to avoid a lot of future fungal infections, cases of thrush etc.  My psoriasis, for example, only vanishes if I exclude everything apart from vegetables, grasses and seaweed.  Obviously this would be a struggle all the time, but it is now a managed situation, rather than something out of my control.


You do not need to eat meat


Having been a raw foodist, and settled on a non vegan version eventually, I have nothing against you eating meat, however, as someone from a country with generations of committed meat eaters, even I only really feel the need to eat fish or meat once every three weeks or so.  You certainly don’t need it every day, and you don’t even need it every week.  Too much of it sits in your system and rots, so be sparing and do not do it every day. This is another fallacy spread by the meat industry. If you do feel you must every day, make sure you balance it with twice as many vegetables as meat or fish.  Minimum.


The world is set up a certain way, you don’t need to be part of it


Sometimes the social difficulties of eating for your health are all too much, and you feel like giving up on yourself.  Don’t.  Just because everybody else can manage to eat off a normal menu and stuff a packet of crisps or whatever, down their throat without mishap, it doesn’t mean that you can.  Seriously.  I once put on almost two hundred pounds after trying for weeks to refuse to join one of my boyfriends in his love of pizza. It is that easy to mess up your gut bacteria, and end up craving all the things that made you ill before.  A person telling you to eat like them, and that all you have to do is eat less, does not understand your problem.


Step away from the computer


This is rich, coming from a confirmed geek like me, but I know how much easier it is to live your life through your keyboard.  If you are not careful, you will wake up after twenty years and wonder what happened.  You still feel the same, but the mirror tells you that you have just poured the best part of your life into a machine.  Take a month off it completely every year, leave your gadgets at home now and again, and see how much nicer your life is when you let yourself off the hook.




Cheese can do you a lot of damage, although it is extremely tasty.  You can replace it with nutritional yeast, which tastes similar but does not feed the bad gut bacteria.  Eventually you will not miss it.  It causes eye bags and slows your digestion.  The name of the game, if you have a weight problem, is getting the food to move faster.  Twisty is able to eat whatever he wants and pretty much just think about losing weight to lose it, because his system works like a sports car.  If you have a weight problem, it is likely that yours works more like a tractor.  Do not eat slow moving food.




Calories are not all the same.  Ketogenic diets (see low carbing)  allow you to eat more than conventional diets and still lose weight, so if you are active, this is the first thing you should look at.  The hazard is that one mistake costs you whatever weight of glycogen your liver is storing, which in my case also causes all sorts of fluid problems. If anyone is telling you to portion control, and that you are just weak willed, please try to remember that a lot of your ‘hunger’ is actually caused by imbalance in processing, and if you can get this right, in the form of ridding yourself of addictive and unhealthy food, you will feel and look a lot better extremely quickly without beating yourself up, or allowing anyone else to.




If you are a social creature, get yourself a dehydrator and make yourself some dried vegetable chips/crisps instead of conventional nibbles such as nuts, potato chips etc.  Much better for you, much tastier and very social.  Investigate raw vegan dips to go with them.  Pretty soon your thinner friends, who seem to have all the answers, will be asking you for advice. You can get a really good one for under £30 from outdoor activity centres, for hikers.


Do not allow anyone to damage your confidence, and do not stay in thinking that things will be better when you are thin.  Nothing changes when you are thin, except that you feel a bit better.  I have had the same handful of men hitting on me, fat or thin, for twenty five years.  Whatever they see in you, it isn’t your hot, hot ass, no matter what they tell you.



Continue Reading

Virtual Reality is coming

So, two computers are now complete.  I have taken a piece of garbage, which I kind of bought by accident along with a monitor and souped it back up to respectability for storage, and I have added some rocket fuel to my now somewhat elderly retired server. I am now awaiting two pieces of equipment to build a VR ready machine for around £300. If anyone is interested, I will post some instructions on how to get VR ready and mildly futureproofed for under £1000.


Why do I need a VR ready machine when I have little time to play games?  Because I plan to make some.


For those who question the usefulness of VR – here are the basics from wikipedia- What is VR


I think it is going to revolutionize education, personally, but I do not plan to leave it in the hands of dull witted educators to make a mess of it.  Learning is an adventure, not an excuse for a bunch of browbeaten and unimaginative people to access grants and hold interminable meetings.


How can I be so confident that I am capable of making VR games?  I spent a lot of time in Second life, and they are making a nice medium for me to work in.  You can read more about it here  Linden labs – Project Sansar


For this reason, I am aware that a lot of the products being launched this year are not quite as future friendly as they might appear on first glance. Looking but not touching, or using traditional gamer’s tools such as playstation controllers, for example, are things that will mean that you have to replace your expensive equipment within a couple of years


Playstation VR – looks very trendy but no thanks


Google Cardboard – a cheap way of seeing whether you like the idea of being blind and looking around a cartoon without much functionality.  The good thing about this is that it makes VR extremely cheap for smartphone users.


HTC Vive by far the best mainstream option as it at least enables you to wave your hands around a bit but no. I forsee a lot of peripheral footpads etc.


Oculus Rift I would like to be supportive but no.


Without some definition in terms of your real life body, VR is all floating hands and the novelty of watching things move about.  Limited in terms of long term value, but oooooooooh the potential.


Tesla Suit: Feel Virtual Reality With Your Body


Touch in VR goes in a predictable direction: VR sex suit sells out in hours


I can tell you that although these might be fun investments, and certainly the idea of a full body suit is far better than things that restrict you to visual or floating hand versions of VR, once Project Sansar is launched, it will be a matter of weeks before somebody posts instructions on how to make a far more comprehensive VR sex suit with a bit of old hessian webbing and a few improvised sensors they picked up on ebay.


Second Lifers are obsessive, they cannot be bothered with the real world, as the one you have more control of is a lot more interesting and colourful.  Rather than you spending all your money on commercial products, I would hazard a guess that if you choose instead to ensure that your computer is ready, you have a couple of monitors and you await developments from Sansar, it will take probably under a year before DIY VR becomes normality.  They are also rather keen on virtual sex, so if that is your thang, keep an eye on Sansar.


I have always been known as a rather uptight and foul tempered Second Lifer, so I am likely to create something more cultural, obscure and a bit surreal.  I do like things with an educational edge, although I am much more interested in alternative reality methods of presentation.  Roll on Sansar, and hurry up with the VR already.

Continue Reading

Two weeks on ten a day

An update for those who read this


Two days of ten a day


and who may or may not be interested in upping their fruit and vegetable intake to ten a day.


I have missed a couple of days due to either not eating at all, or being too busy to think about it,  but after two weeks – my skin is not back to its glorious normal, because not all the vegetables were raw, and there are not enough green vegetables in my diet as yet. I have not returned to my daily quotient of blueberries yet, preferring pineapple at the moment, so presumably I am eradicating excessive protein.


I no longer suffer from what I can only describe as hamstring pain in my legs going up and down stairs.  As I spend a great proportion of my day on stairs, fat or thin, this is quite important. Still have terrible pain in my left hand, but there is a muscle missing due to a car accident in 1994, so I am wondering whether this is biting me in the ass a tad.


Period has improved, although the Brain Fog, chest tightening, tiredness has not been eradicated.  After next month it should start to dissipate, but the anaemia has certainly gone.


Drinking more water, but I am thinking that I should return to a simple supermix in the mornings to ensure that I do this.  It is amazing how resistant I am, despite going to the trouble of ensuring that the vegetable intake is heading back to where it should be.


Successfully eradicated the consumption of rice, sugar, wheat, potato, coffee.  Still a little dairy over the last fortnight, but as I know this gives me eyebags, slows down my digestion and means I do not clear the generalized feeling of debility, I will be removing this completely after a visit to Wholefoods and the purchase of some nutritional yeast.  I have managed to go to the Chinese supermarket and procure some decent seaweed and spices, although Vitamin C is still my biggest issue at the moment.  I need an awful lot of it, and one pineapple a day does not cover it.


I also managed to purchase a quantity of amla, which is rather bitter, but when I add it to the supermix, is pretty much indetectable. Also invested in some SOD, and thinking about getting some Boswellia (aka frankincense) and Forskohli to add to the supermix, when I get around to starting on it.


Clothes now fit, and I have been able to landscape one of the supersized rosebeds and the giant rockery, alongside clearing about two tons of garden rubbish.  Still getting too tired and too breathless.  Cross fingers this will go after I cut out the dairy.


I do need to go for a walk after I put mother to bed every night, but with the rebuilding of the computer room and the epic saga of turning four bannisters into Victorian masterpieces I have been kind of busy.


Hair is still a bit on the thin side, but it is too long at the moment and I do not wish to shorten it when still this big. Otherwise feeling slightly better, apart from continued worry about my breathing and headaches.  It could be down to stress, but I suspect that after another two weeks it will turn out to be cooked food that caused it.


Hope that helps.

Continue Reading

Restaurant food politics

Many years ago, I spent a decade as a chef.  I moved every five months, on average, worked up to 120 hours a week, learned what I needed to learn and explored the vast (3 million unskilled jobs lost to the smoking ban in the UK) catering industry.
I had started as a waitress, earning more between tips and excessive hours than the owner of the restaurant I worked in, and quickly figured out that whilst the chefs had the scars, they also got to go home and earned more hourly than I did.
Anyway, what I learned, from working across the industry, was a lot of unexpected stuff about food politics.
You tend to get a lot fatter eating in a cheaper restaurant, because the food in cheaper restaurants consists of a lot more filler foods, such as cereals, potatoes, flour etc.  Deep frying is an excellent way of presenting such foods, and is crunchy, hot and tasty which is all a casual visitor really wants.  In one struggling establishment, I succeeded in making a burger so addictive that people were coming back three times a day for the same meal.  I achieved this by combining piquancy with salt and sugar, an apparently irresistible and satisfying combination.
In more expensive restaurants, where foods are very high quality, often take hours for a badly paid team to prepare, with smaller portions, you tend to shed this excess weight extremely quickly due to your workload.  One of my exs was voted the best chef in Western Europe (once upon a time), and he had me working from 7am until 3am the following morning, seven days a week.  Food is a very unrewarding art form at this level, but the challenge of creating a dish incorporating sweet, savoury, bitter, digestive, levels of crunchy, colour, flavour and texture is a fun creative exercise, not to mention the knowledge and skill acquirement of getting to work with more expensive materials.
If you then transfer these skills back to a cheaper restaurant, things get a lot more interesting.  I caused quite a stir with my venison and chocolate sausages with prune chutney once upon a time.  Sadly, the ex got quite jealous at that point.
The point for you in terms of your health is the idea that potatoes, flour, deep frying, the sugar and salt combination, sweet and heavy puddings are now considered filler foods for poorer people. This means that someone, somewhere makes a good margin of profit from such foods.  Shooting for quality in your diet means avoiding such foods in favour of fresh, well prepared, non processed food.
Likewise eating in Marrakech was fascinating.  Moroccans have the benefit of a strong export trade in fruit and vegetables, meaning that the bruised seconds available make eating a lot of these very simple, as long as you have plenty of bottled water to wash them with.  Meat is not always refrigerated, hence the very well cooked tagines they are famous for, and sugary mint tea is the norm. I was curious about this very warming and very cooked diet when I was there, and found out quite quickly that eating raw is something that becomes more difficult without a reliable clean water supply.  Hence the well cooked traditional dishes and the sugary tea.  Sometimes it is all you can keep down.
Scotland has a strong export trade in quality meat and fish, meaning that we have pies, haggis and sausages to use up our own ‘bruised seconds.’  Such is the influence of commerce.  Feed the population on the bits you don’t sell, and pretty soon you have a traditional diet full of off-cuts.
In conclusion, food is as political as fashion, and your diet, like your clothing, should reflect you and not what the whims of time dictate.  Eat as well as you can afford, and avoid filler foods as much as you can, because if it has been used as something to fill the stomachs of the poor, then you can bet it shortens your life.

Continue Reading

Gaming psychology

Well, there has been a lot of stress in rebuilding the computer room, and I am sure there will be more, but we are nearly operational again, with a bonus computer that I did not expect nestling between the two beasts (they sound like aircraft, I dread to think how much power they use)


As the plan is a personality driven series of games, I had a look around at game psychology.  Alter Ego is a very old text based game, but those interested can play it free.  I am shooting for something a little more delicate and fun, but I have trawled for something that goes in the same direction, and I think I might be onto a fairly original format for several different possible directions. There is no reason why it cannot be done, and yet it has not been done. Why not use your urge for entertainment and instant gratification for the purposes of self development?


So, I look up ‘personality driven games’ and I find the following personality tests for gamers.



The Multiplayer Psychology Profile  aka the Bartle Test 1996 – I am an anti-social achiever and explorer
The Four Player types test an alternative based on the Bartle Test – I am an innovative strategist

Then I try ‘gaming psychology’

Cognitive Benefits of playing computer games
The Psychology of Great Game Design
The Psychology of Video Game Play – low hanging fruit

This is not really hitting the mark for what I am looking for.  I did catch a fabulous BBC documentary on the psychology of gambling a year or so ago.  Did you know that gambling addicts are addicted to loss, rather than winning?  They believe that a series of losses makes a win more likely.


Having tried to be a gambler, and dismally failed due to my aversion to risk, despite playing a gambler’s game daily, I can say for sure that I do not have the gene for gambling addiction.  I have an unfortunate love of learning new things, and getting bored very quickly, however, which is why my life has been quite so complicated.  I am extremely useful, however, due to the ever-increasing skillset.


I then thought that gamification might be a useful thing to look up, and signed myself up on yet another course, only to find that it does not refer to educational gaming at all.  It is just another business buzzword for making marketing more appealing to millennials.  Sigh.


So, it looks as if I have a truly original idea.  So far, so good.  This should be fun. I was concerned about the lack of combat, and realised today that combat is really used as finite conversation in most games.  Only one percent of gamers are in it to kill other players, according to Bartle, the volume of killing is merely a quick easy reward system for avatar development and progress.


As my game will involve a lot of social interaction with NPC characters, I forsee my having to be a bit inventive with objects and progression.  I particularly dislike heavily story driven games, so I am likely to go for more of an organic, open scheme, which is going to get very complex with point allocation and reward/level progression.  To this end, I will be building a tycoon style game in the course of my self-training.


I think I have played sufficient relevant games to have a style in mind, and a clear idea of how the structure will work.  So now I just have to sit on my ass and learn languages and make games until I am ready to get on with it.


In the meantime I have an awful lot of research to do, so I am a happy, happy bunny.




Fact or fiction – video games are the future of education


Educational gaming commons


The educational benefits of video games


Gaming in education – gamification?


Teaching resources – educational games


Gamestar Mechanic

Continue Reading

Rhetoric for my beloved

Just in case Wolfe is now feeling rather neglected, I thought I would devote today’s blog post to buttering him up a bit.
Hopefully from the last few posts, he has now understood what I see that I have been pursuing from my safe position behind the curve of the Atlantic.  It took a long time to get there, and I did not expect that Conservative politics, of all things, would actually get me to the point, but there we are.  Unless Wolfe has decided to be deliberately obtuse, he should now have some idea why my particular journey makes perfect sense.
Feminine anger is a source of great fear for many sensitive souls, but it is not something that has no purpose or logic.  Admiration is a rather empty expression of rather superficial appeal, and often a well aimed jibe (or torpedo in my case) is a more caring and effective response than simply writing off one’s errors as evidence of a poor character.
I see a gem, wrapped in a cheaper and shinier wrapper for mass appeal.  I see a very intelligent and extremely thoughtful person who continues on a surprisingly emotional, and surprisingly lonely voyage through his very stressful and highly social chosen life.
Mistakes happen, people change as they grow, and we are all guilty of flippancy at different points of maturity. Having the strength of character and belief to continue on a tarnished path is not for the faint hearted.
Hopefully I have made Wolfe laugh a few times to make up for the bad days, as I have been witness to quite a few, before I decided that an even longer view was required.  I sincerely hope that his deceptively tiny empire, and extended network of influence proceeds and helps as many people on the way as possible.
PS. The nerve centre is nearly ready for the next thrilling installment of the Wolfe/Ina Disguise saga.  There will be a book or two during the construction of our interactive epic foray into the next generation.

Continue Reading

Trickle down lies

My apologies to my fellow economists and economic historians, you may wish to go and do something else just now as today’s post is about the fallacy of trickle-down.


Our current economy still works on the age old principle that the sacred pyramid is still worthy of worship.  It is far better for you to be halfway up, or better still, at the top of this sacred pyramid.


The idea that in 2016, we still worship pyramids, is rather hilarious, but nobody who is busy making as much money as they can wants to hear that their efforts may not be entirely effective, or that they are making themselves unworthy through sheer ignorance or self-deception.


To clarify further, since I know many readers of my blog are currently people who have no time to actually think for themselves as they are busy filling their pockets from their very fortunate gainful employment and presumably, like my own siblings, ignoring their responsibility for looking after people other than themselves.


Here are some basic economic facts for our conservative chums:

Dead people cannot spend money
Poor people retain less money in the form of savings
Poor people spend a greater proportion of their income, with the benefit of the multiplier effect, this makes them far more active and useful economic agents than rich people.
The multiplier effect is the principle that moving money is more productive than static money – ergo people who have to spend it have a more beneficial effect on the economy than people who do not.
Centralising economic activity in one region does not benefit other regions, meaning that the creation of infrastructure becomes difficult, expensive and impractical, at the expense of areas which could easily benefit from increased mean income, property prices and in which poor people benefit in terms of standard of living by having richer people to protest about their ‘inhuman’ garbage collection etc.
Housing benefit exists to benefit property owners, not tenants. The only reason housing benefit has not been attacked under the Conservative government is because they own a lot of rental property. It is a construct designed to benefit people with money and property, not protect the rights of the people doing the renting.
Dropping public money in the forms of bombs is not cost effective, unless you are doing it to secure contracts from an ally country, or ensure a living for a friend in the defence business.
Likewise, outsourcing jobs which require no experience or education is a bad idea if you want people to claim fewer benefits. It reduces the base on your pyramid.
Attempting to replace the base of your pyramid with immigrants causes further damage to the foundations, as communities blame new arrivals for issues of poorly maintained property and services, and new cultural influences, such as mosques and outdoor fruit and vegetable suppliers, increase negative attitudes and crime amongst the inhabitants of the base of the pyramid.
Deciding that you are a knowledge economy and then providing no tangible evidence of this, leads to a lot of underemployed and unemployed graduates, who then spot that your system does not work. Indicating that these people are to have their lives effectively destroyed and feel shame over it will not help you long term.
Putting an ever increasing proportion of the population into permanent debt, means that the base of the pyramid is now extremely shaky, and if it falls down, everybody suffers and you are at risk of actual revolution.
Not everybody is a selfish economic agent, capable only of patting themselves on the back for acquiring money.  The opportunity cost of self righteous obsession with money, is compassionate and conscious care for others, and consideration of far more important issues.
Failure to address people’s more altruistic feelings leads to unstable politics
Opportunity cost – the opportunity cost of working in a biscuit factory on minimum wage when you have other irons in the fire, is that you may never get to develop your potentially lucrative creative career in app design, or whatever else floats your particular boat.  Sometimes giving people the opportunity to develop their ideas is the more lucrative option.
When the economy recedes, an intelligent Tory provides money for small to medium sized business, as this feeds the base of the pyramid, in the form of a disproportionate number of jobs provided, and encourages self motivation amongst the damned and condemned poor that you hate so much.

Trickle-down is a myth, a rumour spread by the same delusional people that think it is ok for them to have more than twice the average income in interest on their parents ‘trickle-down’ wealth, whilst other people rely on charity.  The idea was that if one economic class is given money, they would use it to make more, accidentally benefitting the bottom of the pyramid by virtue of the spending involved and potential jobs created.


I have known for some time, that the notion of scarcity in economics is belied by countries with high savings rates.  People do not have unlimited wants.  People do not have unlimited motivation.  What our current government believes, is that if you continue to feed your economic plants from above in the form of tax breaks, that the plant gets bigger.


No, if you fail to feed the plant from the roots, it will collapse.  Trickle-up economics is the only way to go.

Continue Reading

Conservatives cannot read?

Apparently some conservatives get through life so easily that they cannot actually use Google or read, so here are some handy links if you are  socially isolated, academically inept, and presumably cold as ice, and have not actually noticed what the public’s response to the nasty party’s recent scandals actually referred to. Saying that it is an issue about accounting practices does not make it so.


Thousands died after fit for work assessment


Over 4000 people have died soon after being found fit to work by jobcentre assessment


Ten thousand benefit claimants declared fit for work under Tory assessment have died


Harder fit for work tests connected to rise in number of suicides


Fit for work disability tests linked to increase in suicides


More than 2300 died after fit for work tests


Starving soldier died


Ian Mulholland- Sanctioned, Starved, Jailed


Famished woman fined £330 for stealing a mars bar after benefits stopped


Yes people can starve to death in benefit sanctions Britain


One in five benefit related deaths involved sanctions admits DWP


People starving to death in the UK – on David Cameron’s doorstep


Factcheck – is the government starving the poor?




Please get a sense of proportion and grow up. It is happening, just because nobody has slashed their wrists over your petunias, it does not mean it goes away.  The Tory Government has made the entire country guilty of murder by neglect. That is not good politics, and it certainly isn’t good economics.



Continue Reading

More thoughts on politics?

I just had a horrible thought.  I wonder how the British public would react if several thousand Conservatives were told they were to have their money and property surgically removed, that they were fit to work, but there was no work available, and if they missed an appointment made by some faceless stranger that they would receive no income and have to rely on a foodbank, but only if they fulfilled the criteria demanded by the foodbank.  If several thousand of them committed suicide, and several more starved to death.  I wonder if they understand this concept?
If they were told that the UK was being (more obviously) bought by an American corporation, and that from now on, health services would be run on lean, profitable principles, meaning that their services would suffer.
I cannot imagine how anyone could actually stand up in public and admit to being a Conservative right now, never mind represent them.  They have gone through many similar crises in the past, and still people do not seem to understand that it does not matter how much you earn – you could still end up in a cardboard box being spat on by people just like them.
I spoke to one today, who was very nice actually.  He is a notorious troll from the Highlands, but he was perfectly pleasant.
Later, I was challenged by a young lady, who announced that she was from a council estate, and had a politics degree.  This apparently qualifies her to hate other people, and her own country.  I say this because you would really have to hate Scotland to seek or support a Conservative government.
Now, this is not quite as directly daft as it sounds because I said the word snobby, and snobby, if you are an idiot, means you have had a gentle upbringing.  There are thousands upon thousands of people who have no understanding that SNOBBY CUTS BOTH WAYS. She believes that her degree has elevated her, and separated her, from her council estate, and now she wishes to make life difficult for everybody else because if she can manage to sit down and do a perfectly normal degree, then of course everybody else loses their excuse not to be in the same position.
I do not come from a council estate, and I have had a gentle upbringing, and I do not believe that it is acceptable for any government to repeatedly victimize and manipulate sectors of the community, taking it in turns to target students, the elderly, the disabled, Scotland, and areas ‘who are unlikely to vote Tory,’ to paraphrase Boris, to fund wholly inappropriate policy benefitting ‘yes men’ like Toby, over-privileged oiks like the Downing Street pair, overpaid and largely talentless people who look good in a suit and actually do very little in the workplace. There is a dearth of passion since Blair’s ‘bland leading the bland’ and this dearth has led us precisely nowhere in terms of operational efficiency.
I think we would benefit from motivated, honest, frictional new blood.  I think we would benefit from the feeling that no matter who we are, we have at least a shot at a chance of a decent life.  I think everyone would benefit from being able to care for their families without having to be in a state of constant stress, and I think the last four decades have taught us that blame culture does not lead to a healthy economy.
Whilst you can waste a lot of time arguing in a situation where everyone has a voice, you can also forge new pathways to a system which promotes fairness and appropriate opportunity for all.  Conservatives do not believe in fairness for all, any more than New Labour did.  It remains to be seen if Corbyn is the new English messiah, but as far as I am concerned, the only way forward is to reinvent the entire system to eradicate these outdated team games we are conned into playing as if the world consists of rich versus poor. The economic world consists of people.  If you do not treat people well, there ought to be a mechanism of failure.
As I have outlined in several previous posts, the rich get rich because everyone agrees to make them rich and keep them that way.  There comes a point where we should say stop, you have enough, and move on to promote competition for the benefit of companies/employees/individuals themselves, never mind us as the public. That is the rational approach to managing our outlook as consumers, entrepreneurs and employees alike.
As far as welfare is concerned, as I have already said, it ought to be a matter of national pride to ensure a basic standard of living for people no matter what their circumstance.  What Osborne and Cameron have demonstrated, is that this sense of pride does not exist.  That (their) spare money is far more important than people. That hate and the derision of others is a useful weapon in making sure that you keep yours, and somebody else suffers.
Why would you want to wear a badge or jacket that says you agree with that? What happens when it goes wrong for you?

Continue Reading

Negative Feelings are Helpful

TwistyHeadedMan is staying in my spare room at the moment, he is extremely helpful when I am lost in my creative funk, which both last year and this became oppressive in June/July. I guess I have a touch of seasonally affective disorder, since I seem to become unpleasantly obsessed with work during the summer, when I really should be out in the gardens.

Last night, I got him to take a look at my post on Wolfe.  ‘Grumpy but positive’ I said, is that OK?

‘That’s how you always are.’ he said.  I really am turning into my father.

It is often very difficult to find a positive spin to put on an extended period of unadulterated misery, especially when it involved binning two years of hard work, but I have found over the years that it is sometimes wise to be floored by the punches rather than rolling with them.  Were I to publish my classical academic work as Ina, I would at least get a few people to read it now, as opposed to sweating blood over an ignored epic under my own equally ridiculous name. World events since 2011 have proved that the academic book is not only necessary, but essential whether the object of my devotional work likes it or not. (see other posts)

I could look on it, rather angrily as four wasted years that could have been easily avoided, but it is no big deal.  I am well used to being underestimated.  Ten years ago I was involved in a corporate scandal.  The company involved simply could not believe that one scruffy woman would have the audacity to call them out.  Since then I have lived an extremely quiet life, but I learned a lot.

Back in the days of my feverish research into the raw food movement, I used to become irritated at the insistence on positivity circulated by the more popular speakers.  Positivity is all very well if you do not require your brain to be engaged on critical pursuits, but it is as useful as a chocolate teapot when you need to be more strategic or analytic.  It is almost used as a weapon – J P Sears has a rather good video on New Age spiritualism which concurs with this view. Please allow me to let you in on an apparent secret – no feelings are truly unnecessary:

  1. Grief is fine, and if you ignore it it comes back and bites you in the ass.  It lasts as long as you decide it needs to.

  2. Jealousy is a mammalian construct, any owner of multiple dogs or cats will tell you it is not exclusive to humans and is inbuilt for survival.  Whilst it is not much fun experiencing it, and I personally have chosen to reject it as useless, it is not unnatural to protect yourself from pain.

  3. Sadness, often misdiagnosed as depression, is entirely natural.  Depression needs to be clarified by definition as irrational sadness, often physical in nature, and can be alleviated first by dietary means, and then by simply giving yourself the time to pinpoint your repressed anger.

  4. Anger is fine.  It is much better to allow some flash fury than pretend to maintain your cool and become depressed later.

And so on.  My work as Ina depends on the ego, particularly the wounded ego.  If I was to pretend that everything was fine, Ina would not exist and no work would get done at all.  All feelings are fine, all feelings are productive.   Nothing in your life should be wasted.

Continue Reading