The Best Boris Johnson Ever

The Best Boris Johnson Ever

I know he is in his final stages, and he still needs a little work, but as I was aware that Boris is gagging to see it, and needs a little cheering up   I thought I would put out a couple of previews. (I did try to warn you about the hell that is other people)

This has taken weeks, but I am fairly pleased with it.  The eyes are good, the lips are good, I made some improvements to his nose, which in my view is a little small in reality – as you know I am partial to noses.

I may need to make a second Boris, as this one is really for natural light and as you will see when I put the ones with flash at the bottom of the post, you need a separate one for electric light to be truly effective when doing a lot of filming.

Other pitfalls include ventilation and the weight, but at least I have now created a basic image.

We did an experiment with Ina and Boris tonight and had a bit of a dance, but the director was unhappy with the lighting so you will just have to wait for our Fred and Ginger debut.  I am finding that the No Glass Walls costume is a little big and I am a little too curvaceous to be bouncing around inside it at present, so either I will have to reduce the size of my outstanding rump and tape up my balcon or make a smaller costume.

Decisions, decisions!

Much affection,



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Ormus Plutonium the love story


My friend happened to show me this video he had made of Ormus Plutonium today, and I instantly burst into tears.

Why?  Is it because Wolfe is like totally cool and I don’t measure up to it?  No, I cannot honestly say I have ever felt like that directly.

Is it because I am too hopeless?  No.

Is it because I was never good enough in the first place?  Yes, but not for the obvious reasons.

Having met him, I can honestly say that none of my self beatings have been justified from his reaction to me at all.  He has never been the issue.

Looking at Ormus Plutonium, I see it is crude, I see it is experimental, I see that I chose the colours extremely carefully to send a very complicated message that I am not sure I can verbalise even now.  Those three Ormus bags took over a year of thought.  They decorated the walls of my room for months whilst I thought about the engineering, and I am pleased that I achieved what I wanted to achieve with them, although I can do much better.

The point of all the Wolfe work was development.  I would never have invested that much time in myself if I had not been repairing a lot of damage that I would never have gone anywhere near if it wasn’t for meeting him.  How he managed this in a very limited amount of time – I think perhaps an hour and a half in total over nearly a decade, is a mystery, but I guess shit happens.

One of the earlier pieces, Saxophone, took five weeks of enraged lust after meeting Nelson, a musician that played vaguely Islamic saxophone jazz thirteen years earlier.   Here it is, on the cover of Best Sex Scandal Ever, which is a fun book about a period of amusement I indulged in at some point in the past (I do not remember exactly when)

I can see that this represents the cool and hot sounds of a saxophone.  I can see exactly what I was doing and why, although actually doing it required no thought whatsoever.  It just required intense emotional rage.  Nelson, coincidentally, was basically a blonde Wolfe visually with an irritating tendency towards anarchy and communes. Very pretty but no interesting content.

So, we know from this that I have some specific superficialities.  I am very fond of curly hair, for example.  Nelson, however, lost his appeal in the five weeks it took me to make Saxophone.  Wolfe has thus far taken nine years for me to get to an emotional starting point.

I appreciate that readers will wonder why somebody who sells nutribullets and healthfood would be such an all-consuming interest, beyond his adorable nose?

The answer is in the philosophy underpinning the work that Wolfe likes to insert as filler.  Wolfe’s filler is a lot more interesting than even he is aware of, and it is there that I found the material that I am still wary of working on because it dwarfs any other intellectual work I could be doing.  As I have said, the complexities of running a country are light work in comparison.  Philosophically, he has brought up a lot of huge issues that I would otherwise have not bothered to dig up, because I would have been too busy raking around in the shallows and probably remaining very cynical about humanity generally.

I am still not good enough for Wolfe, not in a human sense, but because I have not produced the piece of work I have been preparing for.  I have another year or two of preparation work to do before I am sufficiently arrogant to return to it, and I have some artwork that I need to do before I approach the serious writing.

As someone with a very serious approach to mental development, it is important that the three dimensional work comes before the two dimensional work, because that is how to get the best out of my brain.  I have to have the time to put into it, and I have to have the confidence.  This ain’t about shagging.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less, and it doesn’t mean that there is any point in my having relationships when I would be wasting everybody’s time.  Whether you are lucky in love or not, the trip is the trip.  This one is huge, frightening and needs to be as refined as I can make it, because it is more important than anything else I could do with my life.

That is about as close as I can get to describing it.


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The Conservative Sell Off

During the Reich’s first 10 years, eugenicists across America welcomed Hitler’s plans as the logical fulfilment of their own decades of research and effort. Indeed, they were envious as Hitler rapidly began sterilising hundreds of thousands and systematically eliminating non-Aryans from German society. This included the Jews. Ten years after Virginia passed its 1924 sterilisation act, Joseph Dejarnette, superintendent of Virginia’s Western State Hospital, complained in the Richmond Times-Dispatch: “The Germans are beating us at our own game.”

So, to continue with what I was saying yesterday, the current crop of Conservatives think they will get away with selling the NHS to private companies, public services such as security contracts, various management departments of the Civil Service (we have already seen the disaster that is Atos)  I would hazard a guess that prisons will be up for grabs, in which case we will have a similar capital labour (for this read American slavery) system, and yet more dumbing down and suppression of classical education as fees are raised and courses are dictated by ideocratic companies from the Land of the dumb.

This was flagged for my attention a few months ago, in the course of an episode in parliament which was recounted to me.  I didn’t even need to see it.

In the event that you wish to protect your country, I would suggest that no matter what party you support, you actually join it and do something to prevent this happening.  They will not simply get away with doing this without serious repercussions for your life.

In the past, the Uk has pulled many interesting scams.  Consignia was a case in point.  Whilst the public was told that Royal Mail was haemorrhaging money and had to be sold, the Consignia episode was used to expand Royal Mail into the international market.  Consignia was delivering mail in Russia, amongst other countries whilst the taxpayer was told that they needed to shore up the losses they were allegedly making.

Once your public services are sold there is little that can be done to prevent them being sold on, to far larger companies that will then expect to be able to lobby the toothless Lilliput government and win.  If they do not, the Uk will then be pressured into it using diplomatic pressure.  In short, if you don’t take action now, your country will become a rather inferior American state, and will be subject to:

Capital labour, which for the uninformed is where prisoners are forced to work to produce goods.  This may sound great, until you notice that the crime rate mysteriously soars to enable companies to access free labour.  America has the highest rate of incarceration in the world, precisely because they are still operating a slave labour system using this pretext.

Private healthcare – As I was saying yesterday, America faces a massive problem because of their faulty ideas about healthcare.  The companies have been colluding to destroy people’s health for years.  Our own Board of Nutrition is infested with corporate interests already, and has been for some time.  Hence you are given incorrect advice about nutrition on the basis that you will consume what food companies produce, develop a known variety of diseases, which are then treated by healthcare providers, supplied with products from the pharmaceutical companies.  Often you can actually trace the collusions, an example being Eli Lilly signing up with Walmart to provide them with cut-price diabetes medication.  I do not imagine that you think terribly much of this idea, whatever your ideas about punishing the poor.

More war  – War is always good for business, isn’t it?  Death is always a good end to any argument.  Americans are very keen on interfering with other countries, and very keen on demonising countries that might compete with them.  I am sure you will want to vote for more of this.

More social engineering –  you too can experience the joy of having a moronic doctor tell you that the answer to your loved one’s problems is to be dead.  You may want to read more on the American philosophy of eugenics and its history, which actually precedes Nazi Germany.


There are also, beyond that, important lessons about American legal culture. What the radical Nazis touted about American law was its open-endedness, its adaptability, its common-law pragmatism, and in particular its permeability to political influence. The feature of American law that the radical Nazis admired is still present, in particular in American criminal punishment — which is spectacularly and very nearly uniquely harsh. That fact has a great deal to do with its exceptional vulnerability to political pressure, whether through tough-on-crime politics or through politicization of the judiciary and prosecutorial corps. And, of course, the race problem is very much present in American criminal justice as well. What we see there is the same disturbing pattern of politicization that radical Nazis admired in the 1930s. To that extent, working through the details of this disturbing episode in the 1930s helps us to recognize the roots and the depth of our problems today.

You may not consider that other people are important or even necessary for your tiresome existence, but there are still people left that actually care about others.  Money is a lot less important than free thought, freedom of expression, the acquisition of – shock horror – actual knowledge – and basic human rights.

If you do not agree, then by all means continue to sleep until your life is entirely dictated by a profit-maker.

If you believe that the non-existent free market and the acquisition of money is more important than anything else, then again, please feel free to remain asleep.

If you care about other people then WAKE THE FUCK UP.  I could continue to paint the rest of the picture, but I am trying to remain relatively restrained.


Boris is looking rather lovely, and should be ready tomorrow or the next day.  I am rather pleased with him so far.  Apparently his fabulous lips are particularly appealing.

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Outgrown your job?

Today I am going to write a post I should have written about twenty years ago, because it would have saved me a lot of hassle.

I have had some astonishingly hostile treatment at work, even when avoiding contact with other workers.  I took to doing jobs that involved little to no contact with them some time ago.

Ironically, graduating was career suicide for quite a while.  As a student it is assumed that you are available for under-employment.  After finishing you are suddenly considered a threat, and I am not the only person that has had to remove qualifications from my CV in order to eat.

Basically if you find yourself in this position, it is time to look at the jobs you want to be in in five years and start listing the qualifications these jobs require.  Sometimes it is surprisingly doable to simply go and get those qualifications and then await the right opportunity.

It may seem like madness to invest in more education when your education is stopping you from finding a job to even keep you ticking over, but as with all things, an element of fantasy is important when pursuing your dream, whatever that may be.

Sometimes your dream may be non-work related, in which case you may prefer to simply look at salary levels and decide that way.  If your particular dream is time restricted (you aren’t going to be doing much pop singing at retirement age, for example) then it needs to be a job that you can do whilst pursuing your non-career dreams.

You may also find that your dream finds you.  There is at least one chef out there that worked with me as a musician who had just quit his degree, and found that cooking was as creative, if not more so, than his band.  The one I am thinking of went grey fairly quickly, so I am not sure how well he eventually did with the music.

This year, since I am kicking an almost passive income stream off, in the form of possibly marketing supermix in its reductionist form  (although I see someone has done a 45 ingredient version called Super Elixir) and potentially selling some books and games, my priority is thinking about marketing.

Next year I am likely to be thinking about production again, as I have rather a lot of work to do to get where Ina is going.

Budget is likely to be a significant issue, so it will be interesting to see how I get on under serious time restriction, especially as I have no intention of abandoning the Boris project.

A few legal issues to deal with, so if I am quiet for a few days, worry not I shall return shortly.



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My privileged life

Right, so now that I have been hounded out of a job in which I deliberately avoided interacting with people to avoid the inevitable outcome, I spent today paying bills – like a perfectly normal person, dealing with mail – again like a perfectly normal person, cleaning – ooooh so normal, and working on Boris’s face – OK not so normal but not that outlandish.

I also ate – seems pretty normal to me, and shock, horror, went shopping!  How weird and freaky am I?

Since I had the foresight to make sure I had two jobs, and in fact turned another one down a fortnight ago, I am not too alarmed. I do, however, need more than one so I now have to deal with that issue yet again to ensure I can meet the Boris deadline at the end of next month.

Fortunately, I know several other people who attract just as much negative attention from morons, both kinky and latent, as I do, so it doesn’t bother me that much anymore.  I turned down the research work two weeks ago because the interviewer was so desperate to impress me with his dominance that I decided not to bother.

Thankfully, I still have the consultancy and a wage, and with a bit of persistence, should be able to find some alternative and ideally less annoying colleagues in the near future.  I will not be in a hurry to work for another American company after that experience, however.

It is the sheer lack of self-awareness that astonishes me.  I remember the moment that I fell in love with Wolfe, was a mistake he made in the company of a rather vile vlogger who videoed him being caught in a moment of self-awareness.  That was my ‘OMG it really is that one’ moment.  Until then I had always wondered why I was on the hook, and rather resented it.

They do not seem to be presented with any alternatives to tunnel vision capitalism as a rule, which is quite challenging if you are used to nothing else (Boris will completely understand my perspective here as he had a similar political upbringing to mine)  When you are aware of the two sides of a coin as a matter of course, people who are led to believe in goodies and baddies are a bit basic.

Anyway, that has significantly damaged the project.  Congratulations to the fascists on that score, because I now have to waste considerably more time on securing sufficient income to make sure it goes ahead.  Tiresome, but not a surprise, and I suppose I could have played along and pretended to be interested in puppies, or whatever people like them choose to talk about.


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Applied Fascism Class 1

It starts with an idea.  The intention is usually unity, whether that is unity of a group, a race, a country or a company.

The idea in this case was to provide inspiring videos for a company full of people in a fairly isolating job.

Therefore, the answer would seem to be to create a ‘university’ of videos, from diverse places – which as it turns out were not all that diverse – and people would discuss their ideas.

It had not crossed the company owners’ minds that they were promoting ideals as they did so.  Until the arrival of Ina, who did not want to talk to anybody after an initial attempt at visual communication (the problem and apparently ‘shock’ artwork was Rebekah Brooks is fit for work.)

Now, for the simple-minded, I do not expect people to think my work is particularly pretty, and the titles are usually about 40-50 percent of the story being told.  I was however, a bit concerned when the first response of one of the genius staff of this company was to send me a green sick looking emoji and a rather infantile ‘What’s that?”  No question of her actually using google, or anything that athletic, of course.  Rather than pointing out the mannerlessness of this, her supervisor gently pushed the photo out of sight with some bland bullshit she had picked up in the USA, in case the moron was further upset by the sight of my work.

Such is the level of intellectual operation.  So much for that, I thought, I just won’t bother speaking to them.  I left all the rather futile social groups they insisted I was a part of since the conversations were a bit inane anyway, and got on with my job, which I would have thought was the actual point.  The next time I met with my team leader, he then used this to say I was a monster, the poor girl insulting me was an angel, I was to do as I was told or he would be entitled to, and I quote ‘do what he liked to me.’

Now in case you think this is actual harassment, it is not.  The people concerned are in their homes, and this is conducted over video.  It does not make it any more pleasant.  It went on for some time, whilst I pointed out that I am not young, do not require bullying to sit in a tedious group that I am not interested in, and am not really interested in status bullshit in a fairly low-level job. Basically the answer, as I said at the time, was not to interact with the other staff at all if it could be avoided.

This week, they started a brand new training programme off.  As I have said, this consisted of corporate and meaningless inspirational twaddle from a variety of sources, and we were to consider it a privilege to be forced to participate in it.  I was initially told that it was voluntary, and yesterday it turned out that it was compulsory, and that objecting to it was a MAMMOTH PROBLEM.

Now, I already knew that their ideas of training were not mine, since during my training I had been shown some badly researched American corporate propaganda, which to a British eye is very right wing to start with, although if you are a bit simple you could stretch it into being ‘positive.’  I watched otherwise apparently sane people sit and nod sagely and say every one of these videos were excellent as they, quite simply, needed an income.

The problem came when a genuine Tory voter, a braying woman from Nottingham, used their video on providing employment for disabled people to repeat her point about disabled people costing the UK too much money.  The founder happened to come in that day, and she started trying to oil him up by making this point, for the umpteenth time in two or three days.

“Really?”  I said.

I was already very tired and upset because the NHS and social work department had told me that if I tried to stop them killing my mother, I would be legally attacked and accused of not acting in her best interests because they were ‘medical professionals’ and were acting together.  This is what happens when you unify stupid people in your Durkheimian fascist paradise.  They use it to form groups and kill people to protect the societal ‘organism’.

Anyway, the founder decided that I was being political, apparently oblivious to the fact that the donkey was being not only stupid but political and extremely nasty into the bargain, and again ignored it when I provided him with links to the academic studies illustrating that Conservative austerity policy had killed 125,000 sick and disabled people by 2016.  Far from costing the government too much money, disabled people were being killed and everyone is (still) ignoring it.  WTF is wrong with people?  And this figure is entirely separate from people like my mother who are medically killed so that stupid consultants and nurses can bond at work whilst spending money on pharmaceuticals.  I am sure the hospital, district nurses and the social work department are killing someone else’s parents as we speak.

So, you would think from this that they would take the hint.  That attempting to provide, even innocently, an education when you are the source of income is a bad idea, and that you are inserting ideals into people who think they have to agree with it in order to form a team.

Speaking to one of the other owners yesterday, he asked me what was wrong with people agreeing?

“WW2” I said.  That is what happens when people agree and form a team under corporatism. “Don’t get the uniforms from Hugo Boss this time.”

I was told at least twice yesterday that I was permitted to voice my opinion.  Since I knew from the earlier artwork incident and the incident with the disabled viewpoint that this was not true, I said so.  He reacted like a spanked child.  He lost face.  Therefore I knew that it was likely that I would be terminated today.

So it came time to fire me, and the thug team leader turned up, salivating to see the spectacle of me losing my income.  So I finally reported the incident over the artwork.  Why had I not reported it at the time?  I was asked.

“Because I’m a big girl and can take care of myself, and because I actually liked this job provided you left me alone. You don’t seem to be able to do that.” I said.

If someone else is treated the way I was treated, hopefully they are more likely to be listened to than I would have been. Instead of being asked about the artwork incident, it was used as a stick to beat me with even today as they fired me.  I was causing problems by being creative or knowing anything.

Quite apart from these people being complete assholes, they lack any awareness of the dangers of consensus.  To achieve consensus, you must refuse to tolerate questions, alternative opinions and different types of people.  Consensus, as happened today, involves obliterating any irritants.  Consensus is itself fascist, because it is against any idea of diversity of thought.

These people want to have an unhealthy, badly educated company of clones who do the job badly but agree about insipid bullshit.  God forbid anyone have any ideas of their own.  It would be against the Durkeimian organism they are unwittingly creating.  The owners have no idea how many stupid beliefs they have already planted in these dull TV-tranquilised minds.

I was good at my job because I liked all the things they are now removing.  I like being on my own.  I like talking to people briefly, but cannot be bothered with distracting staff relationships, and I have little to no interest in being a high status phone jockey.  I would have sat for years doing that job quite happily.   Instead they have chosen to have a company of people who will turn over fairly quickly, be quite stupid, not know the details of several of the industries that they service (as I did, thanks to my very varied work history)  and who most importantly will agree with anything they say.  It is so nice to be right, right, right!

It is only a matter of time before they move from the disabled, the artists and the academics to the gays and the Jews.  They are already following the same pattern of belief and behaviour, just by attempting to agree about absolutely anything at all.

God forbid anyone have a free thought. Fuck you very much!

(and don’t even get me started on the randy lesbian)

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Ina the dissident

Without going into too much detail, I did my dissident duty by my very, very dead mother.  Her birthday was on Sunday.  I tried very hard to work every second of it.

It was met with deaf ears, much as expected.  Apparently WW2 didn’t happen and nobody learned anything.  We can look forward to more branded armies in the near future.

Will probably be losing that job shortly, so will have to spend time finding something to replace it.

Very sad, as I liked not having to talk to anybody, but less sad due to having to look at a bunch of aspiring cult members trying to show how motivated and willing they were in an effort to appease their employer.

I guess the world has moved on from freedom of thought and is into a corporatist wonderland of fucking zombies.  We are now at the mercy of people so stupid that they would cheerfully stand at the door of the gas chamber, welcoming you in before pulling the switch.  One of these charmers could not even manage to tolerate the sight of my artwork when it was presented to her in chat.  I took this as a good sign.  Making morons sick is always good.

Thank you God of free thought, for again causing me to place myself at risk to preserve other people’s right to disagree.

Moving on, work on the costumes is looking suitably post punk, and we are into the actual art bit on the ‘no glass walls’ costume.  The ‘fit for work’ costume is awaiting some more stuff from China, so it may be some time.

Boris is still looking a bit neglected but on the plus side, I hear some whispers that I am to get a little help from the 1922 committee, no less. Whoop de do!

Do we have sufficently well-fed disabled people left to do some protesting, I wonder?

I must say, it was interesting trying to explain that I have dealings with the Tories amongst my many other political interests.  Confused you will be!


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Ethical Issues at work

You would not think there were ethical issues with the idea of answering phones, but apparently there are.  You learn something new every day.

Obviously, there are ethical issues in the course of doing the job, such as integrity of medical information; making the right decision for the client who pays for you to answer the phone as against the needs of the person trying to contact them; ensuring that the company you directly work for are represented fairly; telling the truth or lying as to your position, depending on the wishes of the client.

What you do not expect is evidence of fascism  in a company who pride themselves on their ethos.

When I say fascism, I mean true fascism.  Fascism as corporatism.  The idea that the source of the income determines how you think and how to live your life.

If I was your employer, for example, I would not tell you that in order to progress or even remain in the company you had to read Das Kapital and the Koran and state that you liked it.  If I did, I would be doing something wrong, now wouldn’t I?

So, imagine my surprise when I received the following message from the CEO of my company, relayed via company email

I have found over the past several years that learning tends to correlate to many other areas of performance over time, and those who learn tend to ascend… And those who do not, tend to have other issues. 

As you can see, the idea is that if you don’t watch the indoctrination videos, you will not get on well in this company.  This is nothing to do with actual training.

She is not talking about answering phones – videos I have watched whilst with this company include messages from Richard Branson claiming to be an eco-warrior (he certainly isn’t) and Ben and Jerry’s, still pretending to be ethical (they sold out to Unilever several years ago) We were also treated to a video implying that disabled people were to be put to work to save the country money – this is an extremely sensitive issue in the UK at the moment, and when I objected to this, I was accused by one of the founders of being political.  Right, so it is political when I object to it, but it is not political when the company brings it up?  Murder is murder, whether the conservatives were responsible for it or you were. Death is death, whether it is political or not.

I am inclined to think this is innocence rather than guile, but the education provided by this company has nothing at all to do with answering phones and everything to do with promoting a laziness of thought that entails allowing the source of your income to provide knowledge that has nothing at all to do with the work you do for them.

This, I am afraid, is not the function of an employer.  In the event that they wanted to provide me with 300 videos about how to answer phones, then that would be relevant.  The thought police telling me that I am to believe lies punted by someone to sell products is not relevant.

I will now be accused of lack of team spirit, of refusing to toe the line, and of sabotaging their efforts to create a team where none exists.  I loved this job precisely because I do not have to deal with other staff.  They appear to want to make this impossible, and alongside this I am to be taught how to think, in a badly researched and ill-thought out way.

Such a shame.

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Reviewing the News

I do skim the news from time to time, although my view of things is somewhat larger than most people’s.  I was unwittingly trained from quite an early age to think of things in centuries rather than years, since WW2 was last month as far as my parents were concerned. (I was blessed with a double generation gap)  I then chose to study history over about 11 centuries all over the world because I was interested in how the overall machine works, what it looks like and how to tweak it effectively. Economic game designers who understand this are thin on the ground, and it is rare that we actually get to do much work.

This is why I find Conservative history a fairly small project.  It is a subset of a subset, and not much trouble at all.

I think many of the current problems stem from a notion of togetherness.  I am sure Boris will completely understand when I say that Conservative philosophy is not about togetherness.  It is about separateness, the morality of gain and relying on a rather outdated veneer of respectability and responsibility.  Britain votes Labour when Britain can afford to vote Labour, and the rest of the time they bring in the Conservatives, who, whilst obsessed with self, are at least better at doing sums.

That, broadly, is the English population’s understanding of politics and economics.  When the school runs riot, vote for the prefects.  When things are safer, then improve things for the kids.

I do not mean here to single out the English population, because I found in recent years that the Scottish population, whilst slightly better in median terms, was also pretty low grade in terms of awareness of politics as a debate.

The ‘form a team and win win win’ mentality is something we seem to be adopting in an effort to dumb the British population to the level of the American population, where aggression and verbal abuse takes the place of anything approaching discussion.

This may be helpful for increasing and maintaining social control, but it is not helpful at all for improving the nation for the future.  I plan, in the course of the project, to be discussing this with fake Boris, who is alas still languishing in my kitchen awaiting eyelashes.  (this week has been unusually harsh due to my inability to sleep whilst starting my new job)  As promised, I will be doing this in interpretive dance.

For the moment, it might be an idea to return to positivity towards other nations, and moving the focus away from European and Russian issues.  Easier said than done due to the media, but perhaps thinking about the personal PR might create something happier for people to focus on rather than not getting to play football for whatever reason.  You have to remember, that no matter how childlike you are, everybody else is considerably more infantile, even the ones with eyebags and sore feet.

Of course, you might prefer to relax and paint cheese boxes.  I wouldn’t blame you at all, but if you can hang in there for another five weeks or so, I should be in a position to at least start doing some work.

It is all a bit creatively intense in terms of the presentation for the moment, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised.

Might be an idea to learn semaphore.

Much affection,



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Hilarious work

Ahh it is good to be back in a workplace, particularly a workplace that is not terrified of me.

Yesterday, we had to create a presentation about some technicalities of our role.  There were three groups of relatively shy people, all of whom had been given a huge pile of information which they do not quite understand yet because we haven’t actually done any work.

My group consisted of a very sociable female, a lazy but very intelligent dude from Ghana, a reptilian brained financial whizzkid, and me.

So, I decided, the best way of utilising the human resource was to mind map the entire course in one graphic.

“I don’t know what that means.” said the reptilian “We only have to talk about this.”  he pointed at some dry technical information about software at the bottom of the page.  “And not even all of it, so I don’t know what you are doing.”  he shook his head.

“I did this.”  The Ghanian waved a piece of paper, even more sparse than my graphic at me, showing much the same information.  He is very smart, but there is such a thing as being too chill.

“What about this?”  the sociable female said, bringing up several worrying factors about our imminent work, all of which connected to actual people and their lives.

So, with this I had some hilarious conversations where I had to gently tell the reptilian he was a reptile to let the humanity into the graphic, none of which made a tremendous amount of sense to either of them.

What I ended up with was a single sheet showing everything we had learned and how to actually do the job on one handy sheet. We actually got a round of applause, because I had let the rest of the people voice their concerns and talk about what interested them and made best use of it.  In terms of a teamwork exercise, we smashed it.

From this I have always concluded that working in three dimensions when you are not bogged down in the flatter world of work is a good idea.  You get far more of a sense of overview, of how to create a more workable picture, and it makes it far easier to actually communicate your ideas.  Dialogue is less useful than letting the friction do its own work.

Today is the last day of this part of our training, and from next week we have to actually make all the systems work together.  This is probably the first time I have been rather sad to finish training, since we will all be sent on to our respective shifts and will not see each other again.

I suppose I had better start wearing an actual suit.


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