It honestly feels like months since my last post, but it was actually only five days ago.
I am going to the Wolfe event after all. This may seem very odd, but it is time I did something selfish for the sake of my sanity. I felt that it was unlikely that I would be able to do it for a few years so it was now or never.
There are several options as to how this will go down:
1. He hates me, and will do something horrible like suddenly realise who I am and prevent me from attending once I have gone to all the trouble of actually getting there.
2. He plays a horrible practical joke on me, which I would probably deserve after all these years.
3. He does not know that I exist at all. (I doubt it, since he gives online stuff about him an Assange level of attention, which means he spends a great deal of time on that smartphone looking himself up)
4. He chooses to ignore me entirely, which I would again probably deserve.
5. He actually felt exactly as I did and is as similar to me as I thought he was, in which case he will be cautiously pleased to see me, with caveats.
6. He liked me more than I thought he did, in which case it will be a very strange experience indeed.
All I want to do is discuss my book and the game, both of which are designed to benefit him. The book because I would like to ensure that he reads it at the very least, and the game because it has business implications. Anything beyond that would be unexpected, and frankly it will be a miracle if I get that far.
In the meantime the preparation going into this is astonishing, and I haven’t even started on going through the research material yet. In the last three days I have walked about 50km from sheer nerves.
I am still a little fat lady, albeit with bizarrely good skin, so I am hoping that I do not find myself feeling like an alien at an event which promoted itself as being full of hippy fanchicks and pale bodybuilder types. I assume that this is not strictly the audience, although I note from the material sent to me so far that more than the first 80 tickets have apparently sold, so I may just melt into the crowd.
For the sake of reassurance, I am not attending this event as Ina Disguise the entity, but as my shy and retiring self, so I do not forsee too much in the way of drama coming from me.
Considering that I am still unable to watch any of his videos, I am not sure how I will react to this, but I am hoping that watching the audience will be as fascinating as I think it will be.
I am now going to go and read ‘Rhetoric of Economics’ to put myself in more of a ‘me’ mood.