So, I was chatting with my Eastern European friend about the haram bawbag story, and she asked whether we should have tried having sex.
I don’t think that would have helped one bit.
Besides which, it wasn’t an issue. We discussed it briefly and that was an end to it as far as I know.
He seemed to think that having a lot of fuckbuddies, as he called them, was an indication of attractiveness. It isn’t.
There are a lot of ethical concerns with that particular instance, he had a small child and nobody in the situation seems to have considered the feelings of the wife at home. I doubt anybody even knows what she looks like. He was reasonably attractive and occasionally funny, but I’m sapiosexual, which means if I don’t rate your brain, I’m not going to be terribly interested and whilst that doesn’t mean you have to be Einstein, you definitely have to be an improvement on this dude.
Another friend said recently that in the event that I had given birth to a stupid child, I would have been impossible, and I think he was probably right. There are limits that I do not understand and it takes a long time to explain to me why I have to slow the conversation down at times. I’m not a particularly tolerant person, although I do have oodles of patience for other things.
Added to this, we have the issue of stability. Nobody seems to have discussed the ethics of bonking someone who is unstable or who does not communicate on the same playing field you are on.
Many people seem to bonk first and think later, and I think that is a mistake. Sex is messy and it changes the dynamic. If there is no relationship dynamic there in the first place, how would you know what the trade-off is?
So yeah, I guess I am a very slow lady these days. You get tired of finding out that charming dude is actually a violent nutter who believes you belong in a cupboard. You get tired of actually seeking out and hiding in the cupboard to avoid him. You get tired of people who make assumptions about your morality and who fail to respect the fact that you are actually highly moral and don’t particularly care to waste your time on a cheat.
Most of all you get tired of people who don’t see you at all. One ex didn’t actually know anything about me two years in. What a waste of time and money?
So yeah, there is something to be said for eyeing up someone’s morals, honesty, mental acuity before you jump in the sack with them. There is something to be said for being thoughtful and weighing up the pros and cons, even if the object of your affection is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.