Having met a particularly bad example this week, I am not impressed by the idea of marriage at the moment.
Quite apart from the stupidity, the ugliness and mean spirit is not appealing. I think sometimes it is better to be alone and lonely than lonely in a group of people to the point that it drives you insane.
Part of the paradox of letting go of shame, is letting go of pride. I had not previously linked these two things, but as I identify more with Wolfe and Boris than I do the morons I have had the misfortune to fall victim to recently, I now realise that letting go of shame also carries the vanquishing of pride.
You cannot afford pride if you are in the public gaze. Pride is useless. It is the equivalent of wearing platform heels to a garden party. Not practical, and you are likely to fall on your face. Falling on your face is itself inspirational, as other people are put through much the same thing for just as little reason in the course of their lives.
If you like something you should be able to say so without having your career destroyed by stupid people with limited brains and no imagination.
If you are at work you should not be terrified because people have stiff genitals and apparently no means of being able to speak.
I am deeply hurt by the latest chapter in what has been a long and miserable period of having people take a pop at me because they have something missing. I think I covered it in a previous post about it – one company boss fired me two hours before the end of a project because I had finished the work early. Rather than just letting me leave, she fired me. That is how bad it has been. That was in the office where they constantly abused me about being too posh and not being married like the other ladies.
It is not easy earning a living when you go through stuff like this constantly. Basically you have to develop the attitude that people are shit, and you walk on the shit until it gives way and then you get out as fast as you can.
I never stop being surprised at the limitations and self-loathing I encounter. The easy option for most people is to hate others and try to inflict damage to make themselves feel better. It is little wonder that humans are so grossly inefficient when this is how they spend their time.
I wonder whether it might be worth doing a series on self-image, since mine has been forced to become so very tough.
The wife in question is already at 28 pompous, self righteous, complacent and blissfully unconcerned about how she treats people. I am not surprised that she makes people unhappy. Money does not make up for blistering ignorance. The inside of her head is already showing on her face.
I’m generally very angry at how I have been treated. I’m very hurt, and I do not have the years left to make it go away. This stuff has been going on too long, and for what? The people that do it get under ten minutes pleasure out of it, whilst my life is constantly made worse.
Be aware, stupid people, bullying is cumulative, and eventually any worm is going to turn on you. Nobody attacked your jobs. Nobody stared at you. Nobody frightened you.