How the world works

A potted history

The 1950s, for a starting point, which is similar to now because they too had been wooed into thinking that manufactured chemicals were all beneficial and anything modern was good. This was immediately post-war, which saw the massive growth of the chemical and pharmaceutical industry, both of which had hugely benefitted from WW2.

This was the post-union golden age in the USA, where large manufacturers were enabled by lack of workers’ rights.  This meant potentially unlimited growth, however education was less accessible, so your degree actually meant something, and your technical skill, often gained in your workplace from an apprenticeship gained on leaving school, was duly rewarded.

A high level of employment  meant that consumer confidence was relatively high. In the UK, properties which had been impossible to maintain during the war period were now being snapped up by this population of eager consumers, who set to work spend, spend, spending on new-fangled fabrics and trendy furniture.

A golden time for many, still miserable for the rest, the 1950s saw huge interest in marketing, methods of communicating and advertising, on which my father founded his career as a commercial artist.

Moving through to the 70s, and we see the ‘natural backlash,’ and the food counter culture, which my father was again a big part of.  Both of my family doctors as a child were homeopaths as well as conventional doctors.  The enmity that we see now between natural health and conventional medicine did not yet exist, and so as a child, I was just as likely to be prescribed herbs or homeopathy as an antibiotic.  At that time, the pharmaceutical companies had not yet seen fit to condemn anyone in opposition, and perfectly normal people did not see fit to argue over science that does not exist.

Do you see the difference between this and today?  Today the Board of Nutrition and the medical community are entirely dominated by the food manufacturers and pharmaceutical companies.  They endlessly repeat a mantra of guidelines that aren’t even correct.

You are told to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day.  The benefits of increasing your consumption continue on a steep trajectory until you hit seven.  The World health organisation recommend 9-15.  The reason for this lie is that it is not possible for producers of fresh fruit and vegetables to have a member of the board of nutrition on the payroll to represent them. This lie alone ought to tell you that something is wrong with your reliance on advice from authority figures that you used to unthinkingly trust.

The medical community, meanwhile, are apparently taught that all natural medicine is to be condemned and replaced with pharmaceutical products.  This change has happened in my lifetime.  The doctors themselves seem to be unaware of this change, presumably the free holidays have affected their memories.

This attitude percolates down to the point that people scrap daily online that everything ‘scientific’ is good and anyone that does not subscribe to their viewpoint is bonkers or stupid.  Science is sponsored.  As with all statistics, the results are used to paint a picture, but that is all it is.  In a vast number of cases, the science does not exist, because the science does not attract profits for companies who have had it all their own way for decades, with budgets bigger than entire countries.

The only way to reach the truth, or to get the level of treatment that is possible, is to find out by yourself. Find out what to eat, find out how to solve problems that medical science cannot solve, of which there are many.

Someone online mentioned trusting a professional the other day.  My experience of professionals, whether they be financial, scientific or medical, is that they are paid to give you information that is limited by the scope of their day-to-day jobs.  You cannot expect them to be interested in their subject, because they have a salary to spend and holidays to take.  Trusting a professional is not an option.

The only answer is to find out by yourself.  The world is not improving, and you are not stupid.  Trust nobody, there is a lot of money invested in keeping you stupid.

Continue Reading

Scottish people eat meat

Well, readers, it looks as if my mother is to be killed in line with Scottish NHS policy after all.

According to the nurses on the ward that my mother is in following a GI bleed (they are treating her for heliobacter pylori)  the district nurses have a file on my mother and the social work department have ‘raised concerns.’

This is likely to be either the spurious concerns raised by nurses who were frustrated in their attempts to inject my mother with painkillers as they had been told she was sent home to die after her last trip to hospital, or concerns that I do not want the house full of carers and nurses who do not do very much but at any time feel free to make vile reports for the purposes of keeping us under investigation.  When you become upset by this, they then make further statements about you.

They do this to enable the social work department to repeatedly enter your home and make further vile statements because this is how they build a case to procure money from the elderly.

We have had false statements about cats, false statements about clutter, which was there because of them, statements about me being neglectful by leaving the room when they are in the house for five minutes.  This is how social work operates if you were stupid enough to work and have a home they can seize.

Now the NHS feel that as my mother is 90 with dementia, she should be killed.  The last ridiculous conversation with a district nurse had her asserting that I was to do as I was told, and the NHS was to determine my mother’s death in her ‘best interests.’

If my mother was unhappy, had a painful illness or was otherwise in danger of generalised misery, I could see their point.  As it is, they seem to be operating on a quota system.

The deaths from Alzheimers in Scotland went up by 31 percent in one year, so this is clearly NHS policy.

Sadly for my mother, this now means that it is probably too dangerous for her to return to her own home.  I have had six months of this now, and I am not putting myself or her home in this position any more.

Why is it not possible for a lady to live in her own home with her daughter who dotes on her, without all this?  Do these people consider how they would feel if I was to walk in and tell them that I was going to murder their parents and there was nothing they could do about it?  Probably not.

I have had good reason to become extremely mistrustful of the social work department and the district nurses over the last ten years.  Now they are going to kill my last remaining relative, since my siblings are not people anyone sane would want to be related to.  In the meantime I have to protect what the cats and I have left, not that I will get any thanks for it.

It is astonishing that mincegate is likely to be mentioned.  My mother hates mince, has not eaten it for years, but because my drunken sister wanted to feed it to her, an extensive investigation was carried out to determine whether she liked mince, to the point of her having to tell two people that she did not like it.

Such is the love of meat eating in Scotland.  Drinking some fruit constitutes abuse, even if your nutritional quality is far and away superior to a plate of mince.

Fuck Mince, and fuck the people who take pleasure in murdering the elderly for a living.

Continue Reading

A sad outcome of health awareness

Letter to my relatives

Apparently the combination of your totally ignoring her diet, and the fact that I wanted her to medically recover from her GI bleed has caused some considerable stress at the hospital.

You should be made aware that six months ago your mother came out of that same hospital with tissue paper skin, extremely thin and was on the point of being drugged on the assumption of imminent death by the district nursing office without anybody even mentioning it. I contemplated taking photographs of just how bad she was and now regret not doing so.

This is when I changed her diet, which has meant that her skin improved, her oedema went down and she has needed less antibiotics over the last six months than at any point in the previous 5-10 years. I am terribly sorry that you fail to find that impressive, but I cannot help you.

The social work department then decided to use this not particularly unconventional dietary approach in yet another attempt to attack me because one or more of you decided to try to blame me for her weight loss. Since you bought her jumpers more appropriate for a doll when in hospital, you had clearly noticed prior to your complaint to social work.

Despite her diet being cleared by two dieticians, one of whom came here on three occasions, the issue has now caused so much confusion for ward staff that I am no longer going to make any attempt to keep her well via her diet. You are, therefore, welcome to feed her anything you like as the ward is now responsible for her nutrition and they do not care. I have had to tolerate more than enough accusations from stupid, selfish people who could not care less about your mother or her health.

A new attempt to prevent your mother from returning home is now imminent. Several spurious incidents with the social work department have indicated that this is the case, and the general attitude seems to be that as your mother is ninety with dementia, her life is not worth very much and I am to be attacked until I stop caring. I could give you several examples of people saying this, but going by your ongoing attitude, it is not worth my time or energy.

In the event that they do this, your mother will be dying in exactly the same needless way as your father, so say your goodbyes now whilst she is awake. Be aware that every effort was made to avoid this outcome, at quite enormous personal and financial cost.

I have, as previously mentioned, no intention of watching a second parent be clinically drugged and starved to death to suit you or their miserable careers so you are on your own with that lengthy misery.

Continue Reading

Hoisted by my own petard

Hilariously, some religious/hippy/intellectual decided to take me to task over yesterday’s post today, and talk about the universals of love, absence of expectation etc etc.

Longer term readers will know that I have already covered all this in many previous posts, and in the free book Best Love Letter Ever  

I was suitably irritated, naturally, and indicated that not only have I already walked that path, high minded ideals fail to keep you warm at night, provide emotional support or even smile at you.  They are, in short, useful for nothing apart from making sure you aren’t too impulsive, and for romantic inspiration.

To begin with, there was an issue of helplessness.  My elderly mother is my first priority above anything else, then I have two cats to consider.  Even if there had not been an additional issue of a secret insecure wife, the whole ‘being in love’ situation would have been a non-starter.  Then there was the problem of my unfortunate turn of phrase and cynical shyness.

This gentleman is elderly.  Either he is married, and full of complete shit, or he is likely to spend his life alone if he considers love to be an entirely abstract issue.  I would hazard a guess that the answer is the former.

Of course in my own case, I too have been this stupid, because it was not until I wrote Best Husband Ever that I realised how out of control and unreasonable my feelings actually were.  I was simply too hidebound and horrified to fully admit to them.

Ironically, the fact he was married is the only reason I have even met the individual I am in love with in person, because I knew that I was entirely safe. (the source of emotional danger being me rather than him) That is how much the idea of being in love terrifies me.  I was previously unaware of being such a scaredy cat, but there it is.  You can hide a lot behind an ego.

 

Continue Reading

Does falling in love make you healthier?

I did not actually watch the Longevity Warehouse video on this, but I had a lengthy comment to make about it which appears to be in approval limbo, so after a lot of messing about online this evening, trying to find some very old story about Wolfe to relay to a friend – I failed to find it, so evidently some cleaning up has been going on – I thought I might write a blog post on this.

Back when I started transitioning to raw in 2010 – much water has gone under the bridge since then, but I will get to that – I did so on the basis of a very old boyfriend turning up.  I had not seen Mark since I was a sixteen year old, living in my first flat which happened to be a floor below his.  He had some old photos on his facebook page, and so I assumed that, like me, he had not changed very much.  In May 2010 I was 310lb.  Ten weeks later I was 240lb, by the time I actually saw him in August of that year I was 200lb and had started talking to Wolfe from time to time.  Sadly, Mark was by this time a fat, bald and rather unpleasant drunk, and after much non-negotiation we no longer speak.

I had been working on a database of products that might help me, which turned into a food politics essay, which in turn turned into a book about corporatism which I will again be working on as soon as I complete my fictionalised account of the life of Boris Johnson.  There are various reasons why I have to complete two books before returning to the Corporatism book, but it is mainly because I would like the Corporatism book to sell reasonably well in the UK and USA.  I would like to maximise the output of that book because the original purpose of that book was to help with a situation that is becoming worse and worse by the day.  (see previous post ‘scientard’)

As you can imagine, I was not particularly on the lookout for falling in love with anyone, which is when it tends to happen.  The person I fell in love with was a total wildcard, and it seems to have happened across a crowded webpage.  It was all totally inconvenient, particularly as it called my beliefs about my radical approach to eating into question.  To make matters worse, the person concerned is a controversial figure to say the least.

In terms of timing, it could not have been worse.  My family were, as they have been since my birth, mobbing me because they could not stand the competition and wanted to take their mother’s money;  the exs were treating the house as if it had a revolving door;  I had just been incredibly ill, whilst my medical doctor laughed at me  (it is hard to take a person complaining of tiredness seriously when they work two jobs and take care of an elderly person and a mansion, apparently.)

So, my battle with my diet became an emotional battle – I do not particularly like being in love, it is irrational and being happy is not necessarily a good experience if you are being attacked constantly.  You tend to think you are going to be caught off-guard.  As it has turned out, my fears on this front were well-grounded, not because of the controversy, but because the person turned out to be spoken for.

When the wife of this person appeared from nowhere, I did not know that she existed, so I assumed that I was being teased by the person in question.  I was then left wondering what on earth I had done for several years, telling myself that I was clearly worthless and crazy, and cooked and ate to please yet another ex who had turned up unwell and seeking comfort food.  Eating at least shuts you up, so that you do not howl in protest as much as you might otherwise.

To cut an even longer story short, I lost 160lb between 2010-2012, and put it all back on again between 2013-2017.  I have just lost the first 70lb again, and this time I plan to lose even more.  On discovering the truth (that the object of my affection was married and the facebook blocker was, in fact, his wife) this year on my birthday, I realised that my feelings had not affected anyone but me, that what I want matters to nobody, and really there was no need to punish myself for something that was not my fault in the first place.

So now I am still in love, but no longer stuffing my face with denial – the situation is hopeless.  I am still unlikely to ever be anything but alone, and my response to this is to get on with the work I was doing before all this rubbish started. All I wanted was to help.  I had no real reason for this other than I like doing things for people and my life was already being squandered by it.

The last seven years have been wasted on working my way through emotional baggage on the basis that I wanted to be unimpeded and good enough for this person, but they have induced a great deal of self-development in terms of my crippling lack of confidence, cynicism and inability to even ask for what I want because the answer is inevitably going to be no, usually alongside accusations of madness and a variety of humiliation techniques.  Gas-lighting is a parlour game in my family, and it has taken all this to make it obvious that it is pointless to interact with people.

Being in love, even with a health expert, is not particularly good for your health.  Self-development – yes. Health – probably not.

 

Continue Reading

The Vaccination Debate

So, as usual facebook is full of aggressive and extremely stupid scientard Americans picking off what they imagine to be ditsy hippies and religious nuts by making disgusting comments about their children and their opinions.

I have no children, and I don’t care if you inject your children or not, so let’s clear that rumour up.  What does concern me is the blithe disregard for personal choice these immensely stupid people have.

Having had no less than three doctors assert that my mother is on the hitlist just for being 90 this week, I am probably more aware than most how dangerous it is to give power to the medical community.

I have been pointing this out to these people today.  If you make  vaccines and other injections mandatory, you lose the right to ask what is in the injection, and you lose the right to say no.

Not one of these people have chosen to engage me on this issue of personal choice.  Instead they continue to hurl abuse, even though I have made it clear that they are welcome to inject their children with whatever they like.

As usual this comes down to a question of philosophy.  Have we educated populations so poorly that they cannot see that the real question is not about vaccines at all, but about your rights as an individual to say no?  It is not about infectious disease, but about a corporation’s right to make profits based upon forcing people to do something that is deemed by others to be good for them?

This idea may be welcome to people so conditioned to stupidity that they believe everything they are told, but it is extremely dangerous for the future of humanity.  Doctors in Nazi Germany were more than happy to conduct experiments on prisoners of war.  It is an essential part of the training to carry out orders.

Do you want to live in a world where you are told what to eat, what to have injected into your blood, what to worry about, what insidious activities you have to perform to earn enough to live another day?  This is the era we live in, and it gets worse every day with more and more attitudes like this.

As I said to one of the scientard bretheren:

I suggest we give all stupid people a mandatory injection of poison.  You’ll be first in the queue then.

Continue Reading

NHS policy on the elderly

My mother is 90.  She has dementia, she spends a lot of time sleeping, but otherwise, since her change of diet, she is not in pain, she is happy to be alive and apart from her recent episode, her immune system is better than it has been in some years.

Why then, am I being told by every doctor I speak to, that she is to be ‘eased out?’  Why did two nurses become irate when I refused to allow them to start the painkilling/death process, and why has her recovery caused such consternation?

The first thing I was asked when we arrived at hospital this time was whether I wanted her to have any treatment.  The next doctor I spoke to said that if it happened again, they would be ‘easing her out.’  A third doctor, this time a consultant, spoke about making her comfortable and letting it happen.

Why is this even being considered, for a lady who is happy and who has a devoted carer?

The statistics for Alzheimer’s deaths showed that in one year, deaths from Alzheimer’s increased by 31 percent, way above anything that could be considered a coincidence.  My mother does not have Alzheimer’s.  She has dementia, and apart from her physical debility, is a bright and chatty woman.

This weekend, they decided that she had aspirated (highly unlikely, since her swallow is fine, it is more likely that she has sucked on her straw too hard)  and she was left nil by mouth for three days because the SALT team do not work on weekends.  This is exactly how they killed my father.  He went from being a talkative plump man to a skeletal gibbering mess in a very short period of time thanks to painkillers administered by NHS staff for the purposes of making him easier to handle.  I have repeatedly told them that I do not want this to happen to my mother, and I put a great deal of time and money into making sure that it doesn’t.

She was also said to have blood in her stool, and when I investigated the stools, they smelt strongly of charcoal.  A day or two after this, iodine had been put in the catheter, so that she apparently had purple urine.  I was accused of causing this by giving her ‘funky drinks’  Her drinks are carefully and expensively made to improve her functioning so that she can eat.  Rather than ask questions about how this might be achieved for other people, I have been repeatedly attacked and insulted whilst they ignore anything I say and refer to science that does not actually exist.  (see previous post ‘Scientard’)

Why would anyone take a career in medicine in order to ignore the issue of health or nutrition?  Why do these people think they have the right to kill my mother?  I have seen this done three times already.  Is this actually official NHS policy?

Continue Reading

Scientard

Scientard

Def: Irrational, thoughtless individual who is unable to question information handed to them as long as they are told that the information relates to science.

 

It was a struggle to come up with today’s Scientard of the Day, since I had been rather lazily messing around with a page called We love GMO and vaccines, but the prize goes to my mother’s hospital consultant, who decided to take a pop at me about my mother’s diet whilst knowing nothing about it or her medical history.

I am constantly amazed at how relatively stupid people get jobs like this, as clearly they managed to pass some exams at some point, but here is a prime example:

“Oh yes, can you tell me about your mother’s diet?”

“What would you like to know?”

Shrugs

“Well, it is based on three avocadoes, a jar of honey, plant milk…..”  I did not get to the hundred ingredients from all over the world or the fact that is formulated for my mother’s health condition, although I did mention that as a non-acidic diet it does not aggravate her stomach before I was interrupted with:

“I don’t agree with the science.”

“I am not at all interested in your opinions about science.  I was sent an almost dead woman with a huge oedema and tissue paper skin and this is us six months later.  Clearly I am doing something right.  Did you actually check her blood work before you decided to say this?”

“No”

“Perhaps you should compare the blood work between my mother being under the care of this hospital and under my care, and then come and talk to me about science.”

“I am providing medical care for your mother, I am not here to start a fight about her diet.”

“Why did you bring it up then?  And why would you take on a medical career if you have no interest in health? It’s probiotic.  This is the longest my mother has been without antibiotics in ten years.  I thought you were supposed to be prescribing fewer antibiotics.  Is that not the case?”

Shrugs

“I have had NHS staff lying about her weight, criticising the diet, questioning me, bringing in dieticians I did not need.  All to justify your little badges.”

“Oh I’m glad you’ve had a dietician in.”

“She knew considerably less than I do.”

“Oh I doubt that, she is a professional and has studied for a qualification.”

“A professional who does not know what selenium is, and the NHS are apparently not bothered about B12 deficiency in the elderly.  If that is what passes for a professional in the NHS…”

“You seem a bit hostile.”

“You bet I’m hostile.  I’ve had this conversation with countless people now, each one stupider than the last.  I am sick of being harassed.There are nine sources of protein in her drink.  There are nine sources of protein in her drink.  There are nine sources of protein in her drink.  We aren’t even vegan.  She has eggs and fish every second day.  What is your problem?”

“Probiotics.  The science hasn’t been done yet.  We don’t really know how they work.”

 

So, we have gone from ‘doesn’t agree with the science’ to ‘the science doesn’t exist’ and the stupid bitch is still trying to argue.  Meanwhile my mother would have been dead six months ago.

This is typical of the scientard.  They were told by someone in a white coat, or they weren’t told anything, therefore they wish to pick a fight.  They don’t actually think or do any research, because they don’t have to as long as they can refer to ‘science.’  In the case of medical doctors, they have the benefit of several free drug company holidays to spend time researching if they were actually interested, which most of the time they are not.

 

The economic and social arguments against GMO are extremely strong.  America is waging economic war on the rest of the world.  GMO is nothing to do with saving anybody, and everything to do with punishing the already poor by taking their subsistence from them.

Vaccines, which I have no strong feelings about, are big business and since it is a major public health issue, there is no excuse for poor research and product testing.

Medicine in general, is dominated by extremely large pharmaceutical companies who, like the food companies, dictate how people are educated and how that information percolates down to you.

If you trust any of these people with your health or future, you are extremely stupid.

 

Continue Reading

Hazards of Longevity

In your quest for a long and happy life, you should consider the matter of what happens when you are over 80.

I say this because I have seen how other people regard the elderly, and it is not a pretty sight.

My mother is back in hospital following a gastric bleed.  It was quite dramatic and she required a transfusion, but is recovering.

Last night, at around 2am, I was asked, very nicely, whether I wanted her to have treatment.

“Yes,” I replied, “I believe she is quite fond of being alive.”

In the last ten years, I have, as many readers will know, lost my father, my uncle, my best friend.  None of them had entirely natural deaths, although in the case of my 89 year old best friend, she was bored.  She said once she had lost interest in TV and was immobile with lung cancer, that she just couldn’t be bothered.  Lung cancer at that age is very depressing for the sufferer.  She went from being able to drive herself around to dying within twelve months.

She did say that she felt that her lung cancer had been caused by repeated x-rays of her chest.  I would agree that the policy of repeatedly x-raying people is not wise, however she had been a keen smoker up to the age of 80.

In the case of my father, he required occasional trips to hospital to have oxygen.  This was enough to have him taken to the local ‘ending’ unit, which thankfully no longer exists, and to be drugged into submission for four months whilst he starved to death.  There was no need for this to have happened, and my request to take him home was ignored.

In the case of my uncle, he was a frighteningly fit man who had the misfortune to suffer from a UTI, from which he recovered well before they transferred him into a freezing cold ward where he immediately got pneumonia and died within a week.

Today, I was informed that my mother would not be getting the same treatment again in the future, because she is 90 and has dementia.  My mother is a very happy lady, as we would all be if we were waited on constantly.

With my economics hat on, yes I can see why the NHS is deciding to off people who have paid tax all their lives, particularly as some people would keep you alive forever even if you didn’t want to be.  With my personal hat on, I am getting a bit fed up being challenged whilst I make my mother’s life as pleasant and easy as possible.

I had an argument with one of the visiting nurses, who complained that I had not complied with her staff in phoning the doctor earlier when I thought she merely had an infection.  This would have been utterly pointless, since she did not have an infection, and the fact she was throwing up blood would not have come to light had I not been closely observing her vomit – she was drinking plums before it started.  No thanks to anyone but me that she is still alive, but as usual I am to be berated for it, and it will be used against me, probably in court given the outlandish lengths people that I do not wish to have in my home seem to be going to in attempting to damage myself and my mother.

So, health food fans, as you pursue your quest for immortality, you must consider how you are going to pay for your medical care after the age of 80, and I imagine this cut-off will be reduced as time goes on.  It is only a matter of time before poison tablets are sold in chemists for the purposes of removing yourself from the world if you aren’t enjoying your branded plastic paradise.  You certainly won’t enjoy the benefits of long term paying into any systems, and you cannot, with the best will in the world, depend on your health remaining perfect, particularly if you have not always eaten perfectly.

So, as you invest in your health, consider investing in that nest egg that you will need for medical care from unwilling professionals.

 

 

 

Continue Reading

The Narcissistic Abuse Community

I have been listening to people talking about narc abuse again today.  It strikes me that there is a theme of adults not willing to be adults running through it.

Many of the problems associated with a relationship with a narcissist are really about expectations.  Many of the issues raised are about how things should be with a ‘normal’ relationship.  There is no such thing as a normal relationship.

Let us go through a few of the problems you are likely to face as a partner of a narcissist.

The idealisation phase:

Love bombing:  Personally, as someone who has had a narc around since birth, (sister)  I am well used to being the focus of attention from an empty vessel.  Even when they are flattering you, it is to establish the importance of their opinion, so it is wise to ignore everything.  When I am on the receiving end of gushing, I tend to cut through it very quickly, so that it is impossible to achieve the ‘perfection’ that the narcissist craves with these interactions.  Dominance is dominance, whether it is sweet or sour.

Alarm bells ought to ring the minute you hear how awful their exs were – non-narcs grow out of this by the time they are thirty or so, usually earlier.  In rare cases the exs actually were awful, but with practice you will learn to tell the difference and find ways of exploring the issue by asking what the nice exs were like.  When your narc tells you that they are kind and giving, they are referring to this early phase of the relationship, in which they actually are kind and giving.  They aren’t lying to you, they are just trying to forget the bad bits where they did not get what they wanted, which was an unreasonable level of perfection.

The devaluation phase: 

If you have established that love bombing has no effect, then devaluing is likely to fall on fallow ground as well.  The only other way to get around this is to be better than expectations, and if you look on it this way then your relationship with your narcissist is likely to be more of a personal challenge than a burden.

If they are talking trash about you to other people, it is the typically immature ‘love me’ plea of a teenager, so you find something else to do.  Obviously in some situations it is quite extreme – I will not allow my sister anywhere near me following a false police report, for example – but this is just an extreme example of the same behaviour that these people have adopted since puberty, so I am not sure why all these victims are unaware that they have been dealing with a child rather than a person.

Some people are just promiscuous, whether they are narcs or not.  Jealousy, whilst perfectly natural, is a choice.  You can decide that you are more important than a casual fling, and then make a further decision as to whether fidelity is a priority or not, in which case you are with the wrong person.  You are then free to terminate the relationship and move on.  It is either that or a lot of tiresome negotiation to see if your partner wants to try and be faithful or not. Speaking as someone who is faithful – other people just aren’t that important to me – I have tried official forgiveness and it is largely futile – so either you don’t mind them spreading it around or you leave.  Official forgiveness tends to lead to violence because your narc will not understand that it is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

Discard:

Assuming that by now you have figured out that you are dealing with a selfish, abnormally young and carefree person who is too busy to bother with what you want, you ought to know that this relationship is not permanent.  It does not mean that the narc is evil, controlling or a bad person.  It just means that you made a poor decision in the first place in tolerating what has been a rather extreme training for the rest of your life.

Finally, a lot of people displaying narcissistic behaviour do not actually have NPD.  Being at the wrong end of a narc makes you extremely tough and extremely intolerant of mistakes.  If you wish to investigate futher, I recommend reading some books on CPTSD.  You will find the answers there.  Even if you are a narc, you will benefit from doing this, so I recommend you take this step into filling up that void where the emotional sharing should be. Narcissists tend to be insecure, frightened and lonely as a rule.  They focus on other people to avoid themselves.  Instead of feeling victimised, try taking an adult role in your own choices.

 

Continue Reading
1 2 3 9