Introduction to Ina

This week, I decided to launch myself a bit more seriously, in preparation for the finished Boris pieces, which I think are the start of a more revealing art period.  Several of the sites would like me to write a regular blog, and so here is your handy introduction to Ina Disguise.

My father, also an artist, always advised me to do anything but art, since producing artwork for money is not the happiest of experiences if you like to express anything.  Therefore, his reasoning was avoid art in order to produce better art.  This led to my becoming a habitual over worker, as I took him at his word and worked every hour I could to avoid doing any artwork for many years.

Ina Disguise came about as a result of my inability to have a conversation with David Wolfe, a natural health promoter that I wanted to talk to about some academic work I was doing on eco-economics, marketing and behavioural economics.  I managed to connect with him briefly on a few websites, but he only seemed to want to talk trash and pretend to himself that he is very clever.  I am not sure why he does this, because apart from his lousy writing and a murky past, he actually is very clever.

As my family were trying to use abusing me as an excuse to rob their own mother, this came as the last straw and I became very unhappy, despite having just lost about 160lb and looking unusually hot that year.  Therefore, after spending several months fighting off the urge to eat myself into oblivion, I started sewing, which is a habit I had previously formed whilst avoiding horrible and hurtful people and recovering from failed love affairs.  If you cannot have the relationship, you might as well have a nice carpet out of your misdirected emotions.

Since he had blocked me from actually speaking to him, after it transpired that I was unusual in seeing through his many disguises online, I then wrote Best Scandal Ever in an effort to appease and inform him why I was buttering him up in the first place.  Best Romance Ever followed, and, since I am of the opinion that keeping one’s brain balanced is rather important, I spent the time that I was not writing doing a lot more stitching.

I had previously amassed art materials with every spare penny from every job I had had since being told that I had to give up everything for my parents as nobody else in the family would ever be willing to do it.  Currently two of them are sitting idle with pensions whilst I am unable to earn my own.

Anyway, within a year of putting my work out in public, GQ had got in touch, which has been an enormous encouragement, and my work has now been in Tatler several times, and last month I realised an early ambition and managed to get a spot in World of Interiors.  I cannot tell you how much the girls from these magazines have helped me at what has been a very rough and ego bashing time.

So now I work in batches, usually five or six pieces at a time, and I have released several batches over the last four years, with varying results.  Some of the pieces are more popular with other people than me, but my experiments have taught me a lot.  Scale is a great tutor, as is ensuring that you are spoilt for stock volume in raw materials.  As with writing, the ideas you would like to have only come when you have indulged the ideas you initially think are merely basic.

Wolfe taught me a lot about marketing, allowing yourself to express even the most rudimentary ideas, on the basis that most people cannot manage that and will show some interest anyway.  There is simply no point in waiting until you are good enough, because if you don’t practise and attempt things, you don’t develop the stamina, skill and confidence to get to the good stuff.  One of my pieces, Raw Sex Object, took seven years to complete, and I am not even interested in selling it because it is really a giant sampler.

Anyway, Wolfe has never understood that I am not trying to kill his career, and I cannot be bothered explaining it to him, so I have now embarked on the Boris adventure, as I perceive Boris to be a far more settled and confident person who might actually appreciate my amusing coded communication skills.  I shall lavish attention on poor Boris until I presumably focus on a very serious person, such as the Pope.  In the meantime, enjoy the artwork.

Ina

 

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The most expensive handbags in the world

1001 nights diamond purse

  1. Mouawad’s 1001 nights Diamond purse $3.8 million

I rather like this one, it at least has an interesting shape and took 8800 hours to make.  I am not up to spending that amount of time on one piece quite yet.  It is gold, encrusted with several thousand diamonds.

Lieber Precious Rose Bag

2. Lieber Precious Rose bag $92,000

This one at least has a great shape and structure. Again with a couple of thousand precious stones, if you like pink I am sure it is great, and will have taken a long time to make.

 

Chanel Diamond Forever

3. Chanel Diamond Forever $261,000

This is a tedious bag, for tedious people who want to wear that all-important logo.  Unimaginative and a waste of a fine crocodile.

Hermes Birkin by Tanaka

4. Hermes Birkin by Ginza Tanaka $1.9 million

This is a beauty and is also very practical.  Less tasteless than the Chanel, and yet still having that all important bling.

LV tribute patchwork bag

5. LV Tribute patchwork bag $42,000

This looks as if it is begging to be a counterfeit bag that you can snap up in poundstretcher. Beyonce apparently got suckered into actually buying it.  I think Beyonce should be asking me to make one for her. At least there would only be one if she did.

6. Urban Satchel Louis Vuitton $150,000

Seriously, next time you clean out your handbag, just get some E6000 and stick the contents to the outside of the bag.

Marc Jacobs Carolyn Crocodile handbag

7. Marc Jacobs Carolyn Crocodile handbag $38,000

This bag is so ugly that I am not sure I have words. If you actually like this, please send me all your money so that I can save you from yourself.  Try a market stall in the average small town and you will find nicer bags.

This is a small selection of the hundreds of bags that cost about the same as a house in the UK. As you can see, money does not buy taste.

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Looking for Work

 

Every so often I wonder if I am managing, and I look for additional work.  Tonight, since my mother has at last returned from hospital, I looked for work from home.

I have a fair amount of experience working from home, not just because of my lack of interest in social jostling.  I worked from home for some time as my parents illnesses progressed, and so I have an unusual level of insight when it comes to work from home jobs.

I have watched carefully over the years, as home working went from quirk to fad to increasingly preferred option, and I see that I am not the only person who appreciates the lack of commute and lack of conversation involved in working from home.

Glassdoor is a good site to look at for reviews of home working options, as is the student room in the UK.  You will tend to find the reviews via your search for the company you intend to work for on Google.  I recommend this before you even think about applying for that underpaid source of vital income online.

People per hour has improved enormously since its previous incarnation, and Odesk has now become Upwork.  As long as you are willing to put in the extra hours on the pitching processes, these are invaluable if you need to supplement your dwindling income.

Homepage

Clickworker is also very useful and can generate you income from all your gadgets if you are so inclined.  There are a few sites that do similar hit based work, such as Mechanical Turk if you can be bothered going through the irritating process of registering for American tax.

Careers

Lionbridge is a good direct employer, and an increasing number of successful direct employment models are now available to you if you feel working from home is for you.

I have worked for about five or six different online employers over the years, and with the exception of Ipsos Mori, they have been very good. To be fair to Ipsos Mori, they do try to create a good opportunity, but as with so many companies, internal problems make them rather miserable to work for, reflected in their poor employee reviews.  I cannot emphasise the importance of checking before you apply for information from ex employees enough.

So, yesterday JT Coxx advertised a free seminar on my Facebook timeline.  The enticing advertisement said that there were too few female motivational speakers, and naturally my interest was piqued, being something of a motivational speaking connoisseur.  I duly checked the reviews, to find that JT Coxx is considered worldwide to be an abrasive, arrogant scammer who creates free seminars to con people out of hundreds and thousands of dollars.  This theme seemed familiar, given the descriptions I had previously been given of the boiler room tactics employed by David Wolfe. They are cut from similar cloth, being in the voice-of-yesteryear Tony Robbins punch the air market.

Sadly, I decided not to bother with the free seminar from JT Coxx.  The quality just wasn’t up to much, and I cannot afford to squander my time and money on Wolfe. So, my conclusion tonight, when reviewing the working from home, hiding from the world options, was

Why am I looking to write blog posts and copy for other people for button money, when I should be developing my online presence?

Which in itself, of course is a motivational statement – why be a follower when you can be a leader?  The pay may not emerge for some time, if ever, but far better to position yourself as a predator rather than prey, whether you are grazing stock, in the form of an employee, or prey in the form of the horror of being an actual customer!

So, there hangs the crux of the matter. Rather than concentrating on the Zig Ziglar school of not being a moaner, don’t put yourself in the position of having something to moan about – avoid irritants where possible.  Separate yourself from the idea of being an employee, and instead strategise ways of freeing yourself from the whole paradigm.  If you must be employed – seek out miserable jobs to remind yourself why you are looking elsewhere for inspiration.  That is the key to being a great employee after all, playing a role that you despise as well as you possibly can under difficult circumstances.

I think in order to progress, I will release the existing work on audible and work on hubpages.  The carpet is needing my attention once I have my mother in a more stable state of health.  Thereafter I will keep a closer look at the world of employment, to remind myself why I really need to get a move on to avoid it.

 

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Writing Development

As someone who has always been told that I tell a good story, it is one of the few things that I am fairly confident about.  I am wildly undisciplined, I rarely redraft before publishing, and as a result I have to go back and read things I have put out months and years later.

I have found, however, that the blog has been very helpful in building this confidence, and in forming a writing habit.  Having said this, I took a look at Reality Check this evening, and was horrified that emotional topics put me in a frenzied panic which renders me almost unreadable.  Mandatory Equality, on the other hand, is a fun read which took little time to make a complicated point.

I have not achieved very much over the last 4 years or so, apart from 11 books, 3 art collections and the beginnings of two computer games.  I am very glad that I have not achieved very much.

Why?  Having read Reality Check, a particularly personal story which is very patchy and a severely abbreviated history of the last twenty years of family life – I have stuck rather too closely to the ‘write what you know’ hypothesis and was too horrified to do the story justice.  When I think about the ideas I have for the forthcoming Lucifer Ogilivie in comparison, I am having far more elegant and interesting ideas now BECAUSE I AM WILLING TO GIVE MYSELF THE TIME TO THINK IT THROUGH.

This is the problem for anyone embarking on a career of self expression.  It takes time to take yourself seriously enough to determine a good direction to go in. Rushing it just ends up with a sub-standard product.  Self expression requires self development, and that takes dedication and selfishness.  Otherwise you might as well consign yourself to a lifetime of mediocrity.

So, if you want to write, first take yourself seriously enough to take your time over it.  Edit at least once, and give yourself space to move on and then look back.  Don’t market like mad too quickly, because chances are your next work will be a development on the last.  As with artwork, your crap idea will develop with time into what you really should have done in the first place, so you need to be willing to make mistakes and admit to them.

This is harder than it sounds – and it takes failure to humble yourself to your craft.  I read other self-published work all the time that will never get anywhere without an editor.  Again, a matter of taking yourself seriously enough to put the time, work and possibly money into.

For example, I took a look at the art carpets available online – I am almost ready to go to market as a carpet maker after twenty years of making, and sometimes not making, but thinking about, carpets – this is because I know what direction my carpet paintings are to go in, because my idea was always to be the Tiffany, or the Faberge of carpet makers.  Carpet making is my thing, but it is not so great that I want to be grafting away at putting hundreds out.  Far better to perfect the art and put out ten good ones.

Several mainstream art sites that I looked at last night had people that should not have bothered marketing their carpets at all, in much the same way that many books being pumped out are not ready.

You do have to balance this, however with what you want to write – a writer that wants to market a product will have the capacity for increased volume of less intense work, such as David Wolfe.  A writer trying to create a cult like following willing to pay for more expensive retreats, such as Gabriel Cousins will, however need to put more time and thought into creating an ethos.  Likewise Jilly Cooper, who must write at a fearsome pace to put out work that badly constructed, needs less preparation than Chekhov.

So, to conclude – to write well, decide who you are and then write badly.  As Aristotle says, if you wish to acquire a virtue, first pretend to have it, and eventually you will.

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Work Update

I have no idea why I associate Boris Johnson with rock pools, but apparently I do.  At least four of the pieces I am working on associated with Boris are related to rock pools.  I have a carpet, a box and a trunk on wheels, a small table all with rock pool tendencies.

Wolfish, one of the remaining David Wolfe pieces, is swimming in a coral reef in a tank, but apparently in my head Boris is all about rock pools. Perhaps the psychologists could have a think on that one. It is probably something to do with sex, although I am not aware of it.  Most of my work is related to emotion rather than sex in terms of whichever form things take, but the colours are usually a give-away in terms of the sexual element.

The furniture progress has been slow but Jemima Khan is going to be spectacular, Iain Duncan Smith is a lot of work, and Theresa May is yet to get off the ground due to lack of funds.  Darius Guppy is on pause as he needs a lot of sanding work.

I am starting to get psyched up for the book, so I will be doing some reading shortly in anticipation of Lucifer Ogilvie.  Not to be too cynical about it, but it would help a lot if Boris likes it, so I hope I can at least persuade him to read it when the time comes. My ideas seem to be developing somewhat, so hopefully it will be a funny and clever take on Conservatism through the eyes of the alternative Boris.

The games are on hold at the moment, I managed to salvage them from yet another broken computer. (my cat is very fond of computers, which is why I seem to go through five or six laptops a year, although she does not seem to share the same love of the PC).

I am seriously considering a short story about racism, since whoever manages such things has successfully persuaded us that protecting our own rights involves maligning other people’s.  Mind your Language, a programme which is usually denounced as racist in the UK, is massively popular in India and Pakistan.

 

 

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Things people say

 

The election is becoming tiresome, with Theresa May displaying some pretty weak communication skills and a crippling lack of charisma, versus the idealistic Jeremy Corbyn (he reminds me of my dad)

I still wonder if the Conservatives even want to win?  They don’t seem to?

Anyway a couple of things from today:

A foolish consultant who does not know that the social work department is inherently corrupt insisted on us having carers to help with my mother.  I realise those of you who do not understand what the social work department really do will think that this is a good thing, and that I should be grateful, but here is why it is just another way of ripping you off in much the same way as good old Theresa has tried to rip people off in the last week:

I managed my mother by myself through sundowning, through endless infections, through her own children trying to rob her.  Just before she went to hospital this time I was carrying her to the commode, letting her sit up for an hour when she could, she was washed and dressed at times to suit her and she could sleep when she wanted and chat at 4am whenever she felt like it.

Now that we have carers, I am a freak if I am not out of bed at 8 and feeding her, which means that I am not very happy or able to work as much at the moment, my sleep is destroyed, and she is noted as being inappropriately asleep if she is not wide awake right after her vat of porridge and honey.

They were brought in on the basis that it should take two to move her rather than me carrying her due to health and safety concerns.  The carers have refused to move her and have written off our handmade disabled chair as not suitable – they are now unable to rule it suitable without an expert decision so she is not allowed out of bed, putting her at risk of bedsores.

In addition, I have already been threatened/visited by the social work department who asked such delightful questions as

  • Does she even recognise you?
  • Who has power of attorney?
  • Can we use your toilet? (this last is used as an excuse to gain entrance to your house so the answer is no)

So we now have 4 visits of two people per day and she actually has less appropriate care, all in order to put us at risk from the local council.  People in nice houses do not invite the social work in, especially if they have been directly told by a social worker that the social work department are not there for the carer, they are there to gather evidence in order to seize the assets of the patient.

Naturally I am not impressed by this service and I am not sure why I am judged incompetent to wipe her bottom, since that is all that the carers actually do.

So, today they were asking about the carpet for Boris.  The nurse and the carers have separately expressed great interest in the carpet for Boris, so evidently this one is a winner.

How much are they?

Well, the last one I did was in Tatler, and it is nine and a half

Why is it worth that much?

Well you are paying for storage, the studio, the fact it is a niche product, twenty years of skill and the fact I need about 200kg of wool in stock to make a product like this, which has also cost every spare penny over the last 22 years because I refuse to ask for a grant for a creative wank, so to speak.

 

The other conversation I had was with my ex, who noted that I appear to be quite bright.

Men don’t listen at all, otherwise he would have given up years ago and I would have written a world shattering book.

Lack of confidence is tiresome.  Maybe it is time I tried staggering self belief.

 

Hey Theresa,

There aren’t sufficient care home owners in the UK to win the election for you on the basis of your dementia tax social care policy. And frankly, as a carer in a nice property, I cannot afford your corrupt system of social care as it is, never mind your diehard  conservative voters who will also be bullied repeatedly by the social work department.

Just sayin’

 

 

 

 

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Fun with status

Here are three people, each believing that they are very very important:

  • One believes she is very, very important, because her mother did not inform her that she is not. Her only achievement in life was getting married and driving her husband into making a lot of money.  She now believes that every word she says is automatically true and that everything she does is correct because her bank balance and spending capacity tells her so.
  • Two believes that he is very, very important because he managed to land a job paying twice as much as his last job, despite both of these jobs consisting of doing nothing apart from wearing a suit and signing documents as if he knows what he is doing.
  • Three does not believe she is very important, but does what the other two tell her to do and spreads malicious gossip on their instruction to gain approval from them.

They are, I am told, members of my family, who decided when I was working in England for ten years that I was born to serve them and that they need not participate in their parents’ care because I would do what I was told.

They have apparently not noticed that their refusal to pick up a paintbrush, be even basically polite or assist at all with the work that is necessary to keep my mother’s house and gardens going means that they have declined to have any status when it comes to the care of their mother or this house.

In the last twenty years, I have cleaned, maintained, cared for both of their elderly parents whilst working up to five jobs at a time.  I only gave up working round about the time of the first referendum because the Scottish Government stopped funding research for a period around that time, and my job ground to a halt.  It was expedient to do so because my mother was requiring more in the way of care at that time.

It is interesting that they associate status with money – number one made a false statement to the police because she believed that I had escaped from the house at one point (I kid you not) and gave a statement indicating that the slave had escaped and was to be returned to the house forthwith so that she could dump her sick mother there.

None of them are either capable or emotionally equipped to have dealt with any of the problems associated with their parents becoming ill, and they attempted to deprive my mother of her money entirely seven years ago on the basis that I had gone out for an afternoon.  They apparently still believe that this is justifiable behaviour.

Fortunately I got them out of the prosecution that would have followed this activity by putting my foot down, however I am now feeling considerably less sympathetic as they are currently attempting to interfere with my mother’s medical care at the hospital. The last few years have consisted of them running to the nearest authority figure at every opportunity to have me punished for refusing to acknowledge their imaginary superiority.

Frighteningly, everyone I have spoken to in the caring profession says that behaviour such as this from absent, lazy and toxic relatives is actually normal.  No help is available for carers in terms of protecting them from their own family, and if you accept help from social services for any other reason, such as care or respite, anything such people say is used as grounds for action against your sick loved one, in the form of removing them to a Conservative Care home and making you homeless.

So, if your family owns anything, you are left with little option to protect it than trying to avoid being in the care system at all, effectively putting you in a situation of modern slavery, just as my deranged sister described in her false missing person’s report.  I was fortunate, the police officers involved knew me and simply ascertained whether I was being held against my will or not.  Other people may not be so lucky.

It has horrified me that my parents early life apparently led them to instruct their first three children to be grasping lower middle class scum that I would not want to be associated with under any circumstances.  I am guessing that these are the ‘ordinary working families’ that Theresa May is so fond of referring to.

I am not sure what kind of mentality you would require to sit and gloat over your paycheque and begrudge every penny in tax, since prior to taking care of my parents, I used to work up to 20 hours a day as a normal routine.  Even when I was studying, I was working three or four part time jobs.  At no point did I have time to even look at my paycheque, never mind consider that my tax and national insurance was something to be grudgingly given.  I just loved working.

So then, are we to believe that the majority of voters are small-minded, lazy, grasping scum that would rob their own mother given half a chance, and who begrudge the less fortunate a means of eating or heating their house?  If this is the definition of an ordinary working family, I would suggest a cultural change is in order.

Taxes paid are just that, they are paid.  What is left over is yours.  It is then up to you to budget around that.

Status is earned, and it is up to you how you choose to earn it.  If you choose to earn it via piles of cash, then naturally you should seek validation from other people who believe the same thing.  If you choose to earn it via malicious gossip, then you should partner yourself with people who are idle and stupid enough to listen to you.

If however, you choose to earn it via actual work, you will swiftly realise that other people, such as the above, are essentially worthless and should really be the first ones to go in the event of mass extermination, since all they seem to be capable of doing is hurting other people and consuming goods which would be better to be sent to people who are actually worthwhile.

I noticed when I was interviewing a cross section of the population that worthwhile people are often the least valued, and who are repeatedly told that they are not entitled to status on the grounds that they are poor.  It got to the point that I asked my dear brother why people earning 50k or more so often know considerably less about the world around them than people scraping a living.  Are they stupid or just cheats, I asked?

“Thoughtless” he said.

Nice to see some self-awareness.

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Work and Play

Today we took a trip down to Troon beach and enjoyed watching some dude kitesurfing whilst I dug a large hole.  For some reason this was extremely therapeutic.

Waiting for my mother to come out of hospital is a big worry as apparently carers are supposed to go to the jobcentre when their charges are in hospital, and find extremely short term work to prevent them visiting their patients or catching up with house related work.  Eating is apparently unnecessary according to our benevolent government, as is keeping up your property since you are also deprived of any income for the property holding patient.  I wonder if anybody in government considers that since they already spend more on lunch than people who are ill get in an entire week,  perhaps they might like to consider those of us on a 24 hour commitment for sixty pounds per week?

Once I had enjoyed all of an hour on Troon beach, I returned to work and prepared the materials for the Theresa May piece, which I will be unable to work on until my income is restored, provided my mother makes a recovery.  Iain Duncan Smith is proving to be a fairly complex piece of work, since it has rather operatic overtones and a fairly deep level of expense.  I also need to test part of it to see if the ink will survive the process, although I did find a rather nice glass eye for it earlier this week.

Bordello Rhetoric may require some professional help for the hinges, as I have tried two types now and they are not working as well as I had hoped.  I polished a couple of lovely Georgian handles for it, and they have also rebelled, so it will be some time before I can consider this a success.

Boris without artifice,  which will probably be called Al once it is finished, is coming along nicely, but even when the design is finished, the work will only be a third of the way along as it is a technically complex and very novel piece of heavy textile engineering.  It is fascinating that textile artists will spend hundreds of hours on something that people maybe take 20 seconds to look at and write off, or on depending on how they feel.  I remember reading about another artist that had forgone her alternative career of being a GP to earn six pounds an hour messing with textiles and agreeing with her Indian relatives that she was probably making the wrong decision.

Two massive boxes are awaiting my attention, so I am certainly not short of work, despite not really having a hope of making a living out of it for another year or two.  I am not sure if Wolfish is really worth pursuing as it is a good three months of work to finish, for an animated and yet functionless bit of spectacular fun.  It might be worth doing for the sake of future Wolfe books, but I cannot help but think it is really just a nice picture, which I should then remake into a carpet.  I also have a chair to do for the Wolfe related work, which is going to be pending for at least another year.

So, things are coming along in their usual juggled and complicated way as I seek to create entirely new products which may or may not capture somebody’s imagination once they are finished.  You basically have to cling to the idea that somebody, somewhere will look at it and decide that you are a genius.  In the meantime you suffer messy clothes, messy hair and a messy life as you stagger about scraping together the money to do anything in the first place, in the absence of hope of the life you worked for before your loved one became ill.

I did manage to get the shoes for the shoe collection, so I hope to release them later in the year.  I think I should probably make them a priority for this year, as the prototypes will at least pay for some materials  if some mere mortal likes them.

In the meantime, I have enough to keep me working for about a week. Thereafter I will be seriously struggling to keep everything going, since I am responsible for making sure my mother has a home to come back to if she does not die.

Enjoy your bollinger.

 

Ina

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Why versus Why not?

Emotions are very odd things.  Back when I was escaping misery caused by my family by indulging in misery caused by the unpleasant backstage behaviour of Wolfe, I stopped writing my original book as I constantly asked myself why.  Why should I write the book, why would anyone read the book, why would I assume that I was the right person to write the book?

Whilst you can waste a lot of time on pointless projects, world events since then have indicated that I should have been arrogant enough to go ahead and write the book anyway.  Apparently few people have tackled the agricultural history of America with a view to the impending disaster of GM, and even fewer people care about it.  The history of marketing has been covered by a few people, but nobody has seen fit to link it to the history of psychology or the effects on the modern population, to the point that we now view survival as entertainment on TV and we are increasingly being encouraged to look on creativity as madness by a variety of corporate sponsored research studies.

Looking on creativity as madness is a particularly dangerous and limiting viewpoint.  It does not benefit the world, it does not benefit the creatives.  The only people it benefits are the companies that would much rather you wanted to buy something.  If we allow this to continue, alongside the view of science being superior to nature as justification for destroying the very efficient natural resources we have left, we will be unable to make progress and the planet will be destroyed.  It is no coincidence, for example that our Victorian ancestors used their free time to indulge their whackier ideas with the additional benefit of a liberal view to products from the colonies dispensed by the local chemist.

This book has strayed back into my to-do list in the last few days as I consider how to go about dealing with my Boris Johnson book.  I have a fairly complex plan for this book, which is a bit more literary and a bit more fun than my previous comic strip style books to alleviate the Wolfe melancholy.

Hence, I am considering the matter of how different people, neither of whom I have met or plan to meet, have a different effect on one’s confidence and general sense of self.  Wolfe turned out to be a thoroughly depressing and very limited person whose obsession with money and women rendered him very boring unless he was speaking.  His speaking, which is technically fascinating, is limited to what he believes will extract the most in terms of immediate sales, at the expense of long term respect, which has left me with the feeling that a potentially great man has rather sold his soul for the gratification of the immediate.

Gratification for the immediate is all very well, but as aims go, it gets boring.  Boris has a different set of limitations, and in many ways he is also trapped by ambition, but not in the ways you might expect.  I shall explore this alternative way of viewing Boris in Lucifer Ogilvie, but for now it is producing a new development in my work which I am finding quite challenging.

I think overall that there is a long way to go with my work before I am happy.  I am doing something original at least, which presents its own challenges in terms of setting the bar I am happy with and taking it further.  Several of the existing pieces will be modified shortly, and a completely new set added as I throw a few ideas around and develop the product.

My friend is at pains to tell me that I should view all work as finished and ingratiate myself with potential dealers, that my pricing is nonsense and that I should not be too concerned about development.  My response is as follows:

  • The pricing is at cost – cost of labour, cost of material replacement, cost of storage – were you to purchase my items in a shop it would have to be at twice that price – yes I am flexible on prototype pricing, but the prices as they are reflect an accurate costing of the effort and are in fact quite low.
  • Ingratiating myself with dealers when I am not totally happy with my product is a waste of time – I am not so vain as to assume that everything I do is marketable or in fashion. That isn’t what the work is about anyway – this has been a period of self development in which I have been forced by circumstance to look for validation via something other than money or other people.
  • Making 3d objects has its own reward in the form of developing a range of skills that you do not get by buying things or even learning them.  I have previously complained to the BBC about this very topic as they seem to prefer encouraging children to buy the things they want instead of making them.
  • Writing as a form of expression is also useful and makes you more confident about other things.

So, despite my lack of funds and pension, I am certainly a well rounded person these days, with an aim in mind.  I now have to figure out why musing on Boris makes me feel so much more validated than musing on Wolfe, which made me laugh a lot, but also made me feel very damaged and unhappy.

Such is the adventure of the imagination that is being stuck in the house, wondering what happened to the twenty hour days and the burning ambition you used to have, wondering how the hell you will survive with no family, no money and no pension because you were kind to your parents and left with nothing but your lust for obscure carpets.

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General Election blues

In a shock move, Theresa May has decided to call a general election in 7 weeks. This after saying that a second independence referendum would cause instability. The only instability she refers to, of course is the instability of losing the collateral of a billion barrelsworth of oil that Andrew Neil blatantly denied the existence of only a few weeks ago.

Whilst I am grateful to Andrew for circulating my every tweet on facebook in addition to promoting me to his own fans by openly denying the truth that we in the village of Scotland already knew before the 2014 referendum, I am thoroughly pissed off with the hypocrisy of the English war against my country.

After conducting a small survey a few months ago, I ascertained that the Scottish electorate were not particularly clued up about economics and that even the most diehard supporter of managing our own destiny was not playing with a full deck of cards, I seriously considered leaving the SNP due to the hostile and rather hysterical response of the members to my short and comic survey on the attitudes of yes and no indy voters to the issue of brexit.  People are easily shocked, confused and inclined to crap behaviour, and since the class war is alive and well, particularly in central Scotland, there often seems no point in considering anything beyond your own nose, since inevitably someone will try to cut yours off without actually hearing anything that you had to say.

In any case, our feeling is that we have a hope of scouring the last Conservative from our fair country, leaving the rabid killers of the disabled few choices in their war against Scotland.  As someone with quite a pedigree in the long term issue of Scottishness and the crushing thereof, with feet in the communist and conservative camp due to my odd but extremely healthy gene mix, I am hopeful that we will get the issue of a more realistic attitude to the management of Scotland cleared up.  We simply do not need to be paying for more bridges in London or killing disabled and long term unemployed people to sustain Scotland.

I still do not agree with SNP policy in regard to immigration before job creation, and the word is that I am not alone, however, as a voter, they are on safe ground.  It is only backbiting, status seeking and rather sickening empty headed mortgage victims that need persuading as far as I can see, so rather than fighting with each other, I would suggest that cybernats concentrate on actually constructing arguments for Edinburgh types.

What I, and many others who remember and have actually bothered to study Labour Party history wonder, is whether Corbyn will actually remember that Labour was supposed to support PEOPLE WHO GO TO WORK in addition to bleating about diversity a la Common Purpose.  Immigration is still a huge issue, particularly for people in Wales, Yorkshire and Cornwall, some of whom have even less hope of ever working than people in the more obscure areas of Scotland.  Grants for computers and internet access would go far further towards making work available for such people online than persistent starvation, but apparently it is preferable to force people onto useless courses, run by recruitment agents that have gone into the welfare punishment business.  Making an extra tenner available for carers, which would in any case be removed from the accompanying benefits, is not a vote winner and so I am unsure as to why this was the chosen carrot this morning.

Anyway, I am unsure as to where things have gone wrong in terms of Theresa’s lack of actual mandate, since it has never bothered the Conservative Party before.  I can only assume that your vote in the General Election refers to the willingness to starve part of the population to death, blame them for pisspoor economic management, the sale of the NHS and the continuation of the totally fucking useless trickledown policy that makes the luxury goods market the only growth sector worth being in.  Show me the jobs, show me the quality industry and show me the poor that sustain their local shops by actually eating, and then we will discuss my vote.

 

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