So, we were thrashing out why I am still thinking about Staring Brat 2 this evening. Twisty was concerned that I would want to go to the event earlier as he may turn up. I didn’t, for much the same reason.
I think it was the need to control me the minute he had a way of doing it that bothered me the most. Twisty, probably correctly, has mentioned that he thinks the root of his problem is cultural. He has, however, been in the UK for a decade or so, so why he is pretending to be from Morocco (and dresses like a French Moroccan when in the mood to be admired) I do not know as he was Indian.
This need for controlling my apparently unruly sexuality via the medium of bitching about emails and any possible conversation with a fellow adult who had very good reason for avoiding verbal interactions is extremely disturbing, and it makes it very unsafe for anybody dealing with him. I stopped speaking to the dude sitting next to me fairly early on as I assumed that he was being made his bitch and regarded him as unsafe, and I believe the dude, who was Pakistani and had been told that SB2 was Moroccan, thought much the same about me until the last week, when he immediately became less unreasonable the minute he knew there was a problem between SB2 and I, although this was unspecified at the time as I was still stupidly protective of him.
I spoke to my Hindu friends online about the issue, as the differing surnames on the companies house listing confused the issue a bit, but they clarified that this was not unusual. Apparently lying and conning people is not unusual either. Why this would be necessary, I again do not know as I had resisted quite a few attempts to create drama by this time, which, like everything else, annoyed him. Apparently being a man involves being controlling, aggressive and making it impossible to communicate at all.
You could put this down to immaturity and the desire for frightened admiration, or you could decide he is just an evil little shit. I would say that is a personal decision. I ran him through my narcissism filter, and he came up as too inadequate, so I would stick with my original assumption that he is just suffering from extreme CPTSD. I have encountered quite a few cases now, and it is, unlike narcissism, curable. I do hope that his wife managed to get the book, as it might save him eventually if he decides to work on it.
I am a very nice person, and I did not cause harm to any of the people concerned, nor did I ever intend to. All they had to do was leave me alone, but apparently this was not possible. Instead they had to neutralise a perceived threat to their fragile and incompetent leadership roles. This makes no sense at all, since I wasn’t even particularly brilliant at the job at hand, mainly due to the stress.
Today, on facebook, one of the gazillion American authors publicly shamed a tasteless and stupid man who had offered to tickle her cervix.
Yes it is a repulsive line, and no I wouldn’t like it either, but personally I would block, possibly report and leave it at that. She responded that as a good Christian, she was used to better treatment.
“Why don’t you just grow up and sort your shit out like an adult? We don’t need to know about yet another asshole?” was my response. Immediately several men, rather right wing Yanks as it turned out, clicked like.
I do not usually have right wing Yank supporters, however they are responding to the concept. We are nurturing a generation of whinging wimps, who cannot manage their way out of a paper bag, refuse to think for themselves, and who take out their inadequacy on other people, most especially people who can think for themselves as they are a threat to them. This is true fascism, where you encourage the mob to turn on people rather than facing up to your own failings.
I explained exactly what had happened to me to one of these men. He immediately came back with a story of being hounded out of his job on the grounds of anxiety depression. It took him over a year to get back to the same point on the employment ladder.
It is likely that I will take a shorter period, as the previous job was neither well paid, nor particularly great in terms of prospects. Even the one I’m doing is better, and it isn’t very good either. I have a couple of better ones in the pipeline and have secured a bad permanent one for later next month, however the overall effect of three stupid little boys having a laugh at the expense of my job and finances was for me to do the following:
- Seek work from home or at night to avoid other people, as they are clearly toxic.
- Seek work from anywhere, at any rate, to avoid penury.
- Spend 6 weeks doing nothing apart from applying for work.
- Question, over and over again whether there was anything I could have done differently with the information presented.
- Abandon any hope of the project at hand, as financial recovery is likely to take more than six months.
All this, for the crime of making a nice comment, sending a polite email, and trying to give an emotionally damaged person a book to help them get on with their life.
I must again thank the beautiful girl from the office, for being brave and kind enough to get a message to me, and strangely enough, SB2’s cheeky and stupid wife, for outlining exactly what she had been told. Otherwise I would have been none the wiser as to the motivation.
Staring Brat 1 is dangerously irrational, and should not be anywhere near staff. Staring Brat 2 is immature, easily led, and has issues with his manhood, which was far more advanced before any of this happened. He went from calm and interesting to overblown and unpleasant in under two months. This is not good.
As for their manager, he was two faced, irresponsible and apparently unaware of basic management skills in terms of protecting staff. None of them are close to being effective.
All this is very expensive for everyone concerned, but I didn’t create this problem. I’m just the person that has to solve it.