Well, it seems like nobody wants to answer my complicated question. I guess I should write a more interesting post. I was just watching a yank video on emotional problems, as usual money was mentioned, and it asked where I wanted to be in five years time?
I was actually just discussing this on youtube a couple of days ago. The great thing about not climbing any sort of ladder until later in life, is that your youth is kind of artificially preserved by your lack of self-definition.
I have always answered the above questions in interview by relating it to the particular job I am trying to get, so I have never really had an answer to this question.
At the moment, I plan to have resolved my health issues permanently, have at least 70 books out and have sufficient downloads to consider monetizing them, have sold some artwork (I have not rushed at this, since I do not want to either sell crap, or have to spend money on advertising that I need for creating) and possibly have a small computer game enterprise on the go. In the event the original book (it does have a working title) is complete by then, I will also be putting actual work into advertising that.
What I do not plan to be doing is having another shitty relationship with somebody that doesn’t think well of me. That has been a lengthy waste of time in the past. I would like to have snapped out of it entirely by now, but clinging to things that really don’t matter and that should not affect my life that much have kind of held this back. I need to stop hiding behind other people.
If you have emotional confidence issues, you are likely to spend your time with other people with confidence issues, which leads to a kind of vortex of self-doubt. Sometimes, if you want to grow out of it, you have to spend some time alone.
Pleasing such people is a waste of time, since it is kind of locked into the relationship that anything you do is likely to be regarded as sub-standard. This affects the most surprising of people, including people that should really know better. If you are self-critical, it also feeds that monster.
I have also learned, to my cost, that other cultures do not understand the notion of ‘friendly fire.’ British people are very fond of it, to ascertain views, explore topics and gain momentum in terms of communication. Other cultures expect undying admiration, and they are not likely to understand when you point out defects in the course of trying to establish communication.
So, next time somebody asks you where you want to be in five years time, try to think about your personal answer to that question, unrelated to your current employment, friends or family. The answer may lead to a more radical change than you expected.